Subject: it's not my idea of fun..but...
From: [email-masked]
To: [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 93 20:24:40 EDT

STAR WARS: THE DRINKING GAME

        To play the Star Wars Drinking game, you will need:

        --The Star Wars Trilogy on tape (one movie for a short game)

        --An ample supply of your favorite beverage (milk, right?)

        --A really good sound system, so the explosions seem to
             happen all around you. Kapow! (optional)

        Begin by inserting your weatherbeaten "Star Wars" videotape into the
big slot on your VCR. Play the tape. Dim the lights for dramatic effect if you
haven't already. The game begins right as "20th Century Fox" appears.
        Basically, every time one of the listed events occurs, everybody takes
a sip of their drink. If you are using alcoholic beverages, I really don't
recommend emptying a whole glass each time. You will lose conciousness before
Vader even says "Don't underestimate the Force".

        Drink whenever:

- - - - --Someone has a bad feeling about this.

- - - - --It is Luke's destiny.

- - - - --A TIE fighter explodes for no reason.

- - - - --Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance.

- - - - --Luke discovers a long-lost relative.

- - - - --Han brags about the Millenium Falcon.

- - - - --Anybody insults the Millenium Falcon.

- - - - --Tarkin brags about the Death Star.

- - - - --Leia insults somebody.

- - - - --Luke whines.

- - - - --The Emperor cackles evilly.

- - - - --Yoda uses bad grammar.

- - - - --Yoda talks like a fortune cookie.

- - - - --An entire planet is described as having one climate.

- - - - --It's their only hope.

- - - - --R2-D2 gets thrashed.

- - - - --C-3PO loses a body part. (Take two drinks if he is completely dismembered.)

- - - - --Luke fights monsters or savages.

- - - - --Obi-Wan plays detective. (". . .Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.")

- - - - --Boba Fett talks.

- - - - --Somebody gets choked.

- - - - --A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast.

- - - - --There is a tremor in the Force.

- - - - --Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip.

- - - - --Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they're aiming.

- - - - --R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around.

- - - - --An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force. (Vader counts.)

- - - - --An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the Death Star
        killed billions of people. (Fourteen seconds. Count 'em.)

- - - - --Somebody's hand gets cut off.

- - - - --The Emperor has foreseen something.

- - - - --Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm.

- - - - --Stormtrooper armor proves useless.

        The game ends when a bunch of Ewoks start dancing. No matter what
you've been drinking, you will remember this image. The last person to give
up drinking on each cue is the winner. Of course, ties are possible.
        If at some point you find that no one can successfully operate the VCR
anymore, the game may as well be abandoned.

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        As a bonus gift, I've included another game designed especially for
non-drinkers.

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                  THE STAR WARS DRINKING GAME FOR MORMONS

        The rules are basically the same as the other game but the drinking
cues are different. Drink when:

- - - - --Multiple Ewoks are killed.

- - - - --Stormtroopers display intelligence, courage, or training in battle.

- - - - --Fantastic technology is explained.

- - - - --Somebody listens to C-3PO.

- - - - --Somebody cares about the environment.

- - - - --The Emperor acts like a charming politician.

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