These Ain't No Underpants Gnomes

As it turned out, these little grouchy guys we were questioning weren't the underpants gnomes after all.

1. Apply for a cabinet-making apprenticeship
2. ???????
3. Become an apprentice in Italy

1. Attend graduate school in architecture
2. ???
3. Appear on an American postage stamp

1. Become a member of a gang
2. ????????????
3. Get questioned about a ring

1. Design a logo used on a basketball court
2. ???????
3. Appear on the cover of Rolling Stone

1. Drop out of and then return to college
2. ???
3. Receive honorary degree from Morehouse College

1. Drop out of secondary school in New Zealand
2. ??????????
3. Be guarded by the Secret Service

1. Get sent to a military academy
2. ??????????
3. Buy land surrounded by the ocean

1. Get rejected by United States Naval Academy
2. ????????
3. Have Olympic Torch lit for me

1. Perform magic shows
2. ??????????
3. Have a main-belt asteroid officially named after me

1. Plan to become a minister
2. ???????
3. Become a member of the Order of the Companions of Honour

1. Play the harmonica in a band
2. ????
3. Buy a castle

1. Sell lingerie
2. ???????
3. Participate in March on Washington

1. Sell tickets
2. ?
3. Come up with idea for comic book series

1. Serve in the Army
2. ???????????
3. Fracture ribs after falling

1. Serve in the Royal Navy
2. ??
3. Become a life peer

1. Set fire to a structure
2. ???????
3. Meet Hugo Chávez

1. Sleep at Penn Station
2. ????????
3. Win a Grammy