Come watch movies you’ve never heard of!
Some sample movies and their reviews are shown below,
in no particular order.
They are rather cryptic, so you’ll have to see for
yourselves how they really begin and end.
Exterminate
A thousand lousy secret agents capturing rebel leader from church
towers, wanting to snitch badly? The leader escapes from bunker with
reputation, permits chief to move east in bloodless insurrection. Head
operative with car from Saturn (Mr. West) accepts a hit fee used to sever
heads of escaped agitators threatening stability.
Grub Hub
In Chicago, provoked union leader on the inside gave information about
Slovenia smuggling kitchen appliance. The Sun reported Whitewater
investigator murmur: Ike’s liquid treats, milk from second class shelter,
finally caused open sores. Strange clue’s right inside—stove is missing
first and fourth digit (metal container’s original number).
An Elite Grade
Tennis player Ivanovic blunder broadcast to the audience. Small drop
after the start becomes ball hit high and deep, laggard’s incomplete
return. McKellen and Holm (doubles partner, sometimes) win individual
combination of sets for university, working racquet head in untouched
service winner. As a measure of range, I. German and Ivanovic, hitting
slice, win in splendor.
Trump Nightfall (documentary)
Writer Gliner, deity of misfits, belittled the consistent voting block of the
party in bulletin obsessed about republican plan: gospel, with racist
leader skewering retreating economic indicator.
Clinton: The Damage
Pat Gees, eccentric retired wrestler, outs left and yearns for things that
used to be popular. He infiltrated heart of abortions association with two-piece lock used to secure cars, broadcast tape of animal rights group,
spread crux of story with last two characters in pedophile ring (chiefly
Hillary). After Florida’s sudden small lead turns steep, Miami-Dade
outskirts’ liberal and centrist votes fade away, turning Pat nasty, starting
to gloat.
Stench of Fraternities
Composer Gustav and actor Bruce combine rising hotshot with raw
beginner in the French labor union for performers (DIP), developing
structure with piercing look backwards. Farm girls Scarlett and Amber
Front enrolled in wayward Rho Alpha. Greek character from male
university again intoned notes by University of North Georgia: a liberal
interest is justification to take advantage of hook up.
The Savior, Informally
Religious purification rituals—bravo! Fitting message, in modern times,
about secondary character in Bible: the leader of the Israelites. Jews of
Sephardic heritage initially returned gold. Moses is by himself below
mountain top; sound from nests high in a tree is God! “At last, chosen
people, take gold to eastern city at the junction of a river and a bay.”
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Romeo Ace at a Distance
Sari fabric, satin, dancing Sully Pitt, and undergarment with diamonds.
Overweight Ace breaks foot, expressing emotional intensity, and
consequently, ignoring the odds, fully hides returning illness. Shivering
fit grips Romeo in debate about a large physical movement of ballet
dancers.
Power Story
Conservative father and number cruncher left bank to discover
basketball player from Midwest. Summary: retrospective motion picture
spanning Magic, ineffable three in Illinois, and sick improvisation. Spot
on!
Freedom Gained (short)
Film starring Tom Hanks and popular Kat Pery playing critical role of
female suicide. Three central characters: Ally, with authority from the
government, frames (like in a cartoon) and reportedly hands over, for
money, singer James Hazel. McEntire, confederate warrior, and a bitter,
cold, and empty informant, Ephron (neither partner gets high mark),
monitor technology from solid core storage medium.
Wow! A Couple of Mysteries
Discoverer of polonium and radium has final element replaced by a
court of justice. Why? In old man, party drug creates wild animal that
hunts alone, shall fight. Weird! With portable lamp, genus of loach with
short fur found in meadow; oddly, the head is mounted like a golf ball.
Disgusting!
Five out of Five: Berry Excellent
First of creations by machine learning. Bid for attention leads to
puns—stupid, shockingly terrible, drawn out, bad puns. For example, “Spruce,
the final <hesitation> front rear.” Moving in the wrong direction: “Egg
shape is Eggs-eptional.” Finally: “Nutty nutters endow party with a bar.”
Shower with Attention (alternate version)
Terrible kissing without heart is one way to go downhill fast. French
singer and actress, knockout, going after very vocal sexual partner with
garland of flowers, lascivious gaze. Looking back, what holds movie
together are penetrating hype and a manicurist who trims fingernails
(actor McDermott) in part of randy landscaper.
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