EPISODE LXXXVIII

Jeb "Bad Dog" Berk

b.1801

d. 1878

 

Jeb "Bad Dog" Berk was a descendant of Baron von Berk and scourge of the old west. While he initially assumed the name "Mad Dog," he eventually earned the nickname "Bad Dog," due to his tendency to mark his territory in a quite unsavory way.

Bad Dog rode several horses during his rule, each of them named "Hero." Berk would ride into towns proudly, threatening to gun down anyone who dared stand in front of him. He would ride out of town only after "marking his territory," and it is written that you could tell a Berk-owned town by smell alone.

The local law could not break Bad Dog's will, and he developed rivalries with all the local lawmen, none more hated than Sheriff J.C. Cogswell of Piranha Corner, Arizona. Their rivalry turned into a grudging mutual respect, which later dissolved when Bad Dog tried to "claim" Sheriff Cogswell as his "territory."

Bad Dog Berk disappeared into history. Some in Arizona say that when the wind is just right, they can hear a tapestry of curses in the distance, and they know Bad Dog Berk is still out there, riding.


EPISODE IX

Baron von Berk (also known as Edvard the Fast)

b.1726

d. 1799

Baron Edvard von Berk was known throughout Germany as a leader both fearless and ruthless. The Baron's rule was absolute, as he spent little to no time in his fortress-like castle. Instead, he conducted his rule via his daily, 19-hour runs throughout his realm. "It is my wish that the people shall run as I run," the Baron was famous for saying.

"If they come to a river that they cannot run across, then they shall swim it. If they cannot swim it, they shall fjord it. If they cannot fjord it, they shall run in place in a boat. If they have no boat, then I shall run to their place of crossing and carry them on my back if I must. This is the decree of the Baron."

The Baron's rule came unquestioned, as he could easily best each villager through either feats of strength or pure physical challenge. The greatest challenge to his rule came from within his own house, when his son Duke Joffrey the Irate began riding around the countryside, claiming rule to the land.

Baron von Berk's justice was swift and efficient - he banished Duke Joffrey to the New World being founded across the ocean to the west. "While it pains me to send the Duke so far away, his insolence will not stand. Furthermore, I have seen him run not one step ever. Perhaps a new life in this New World - this America - will serve him well in his future."

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