SPAM Haiku 10801-10900

Move backwards to Numbers 10701-10800.


10801.
Performance artist
Demonstrates the unjust world
Smears herself with SPAM
--Cholesterol 300

10802.
Changed oil in my car
It needs four quarts of Pennzoil
Or six cans of SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10803.
I was food obsessed
Then I ate a can of SPAM
Addiction over

--Cholesterol 300

10804.
Ate SPAM at friend's house
Showed my appreciation
Cut a giant fart

--Cholesterol 300

10805.
Lower housing costs
New building material
Don't use bricks; use SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10806.
Marketing marvel
Nutritionless wonder food
SPAM: rings up big sales

--Cholesterol 300

10807.
Low fat SPAM...really?
If the fat is taken out,
What's left in the can?

--Cholesterol 300

10808.
Started to wonder
Was she the woman for me?
Favorite food: SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10809.
SPAM was my first love
There hasn't been a second
Could it be the SPAM?

--Cholesterol 300

10810.
Ignorance is bliss
Not knowing how SPAM is made
Is probably best

--Cholesterol 300

10811.
Gut cramps, nausea
Fever, chills, and vomiting
Is it flu...or SPAM?

--Cholesterol 300

10812.
Enjoy life's richness
Eat fine food, and put the SPAM...
Back in the cupboard

--Cholesterol 300

10813.
Hormel SPAM: mocked meat
Derided, laughed at and teased
Porcine self-esteem

--Cholesterol 300

10814.
Industrial meat
SPAM: fuels the worker's desires
Builds a great nation

--Cholesterol 300

10815.
New SPAM promotion
Fish-flavored, heart-healthy SPAM
May be off the mark

--Cholesterol 300

10816.
SPAM is pork shoulders
What happens to cow shoulders?
Why no beef-based SPAM?

--Cholesterol 300

10817.
Sensing trouble, now
Had a meal of lard-fried SPAM
Can't find those darn Tums!

--Cholesterol 300

10818.
Midwest SPAM cult forms
Pass out SPAM cans at airports
Can't find those darn Tums!

--Cholesterol 300

10819.
Midwest SPAM cult forms
Pass out SPAM cans at airports
Pink robes and pig grunts

--Cholesterol 300

10820.
Go for the gusto!!!!
Bite into a slab of SPAM
Try not to throw up

--Cholesterol 300

10821.
Is SPAM not like me?
Cut it and does it not bleed?
Oh right, I guess not

--Cholesterol 300

10822.
Oh, woe the damned pork
Can't stay their SPAM destiny
No swine salvation

--Cholesterol 300

10823.
The can is silent
If only the SPAM could speak
Would we still eat it?

--Cholesterol 300

10824.
Tinned dead animals
Don't resemble their true selves
Extruded as SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10825.
You are what you eat
Thus, my empty piggy bank
Means I become SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10826.
oh god what is it?
rectangular and heavy,
it's SPAM, "Hear me roar!"

--Nate Lee, nate_lee@hotmail.com

10827.
Where must a man look
To find a woman who can
Make him forget SPAM?

--Alex Maurer, alex.maurer@bigfoot.com

10828.
They made SPAM famous
Bless the Monty Python gang
Cultural heroes

--Cholesterol 300

10829.
Which is the best time?
SPAM for breakfast, lunch, or sup?
Maybe at all meals

--Cholesterol 300

10830.
Better than coffee
A quick morning pick-me-up
Caffeinated SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10831.
Bubba Clinton should
Avoid babes, the best he could
Love SPAM, if he would

--Cholesterol 300

10832.
Bill's waistline does grow
SPAM's the cause, Hillary knows
To exile it goes

--Cholesterol 300

10833.
Wicky-wacky-woo
SPAM, I love, and you will, too
Scooby-dooby-doo

--Cholesterol 300

10834.
Hunger on my mind
My kitchen cupboard was bare
Called the SPAM hotline

--Cholesterol 300

10835.
Sam's Club discount ware
SPAM in industrial drum
55 gallons

--Cholesterol 300

10836.
Truck wreck on highway
Load of SPAM strewn over road
Closed due to grease spill

--Cholesterol 300

10837.
The goal of my life
My dream, my aim, fantasy...
Eat SPAM; take a nap

--Cholesterol 300

10838.
Perfect recipe
Optimal sugar and fat
It's sweet and sour SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10839.
The Cycle of SPAM
Life, SPAM, Man, SPAM, Woman, SPAM
Birth, SPAM, and Death, SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

10840.
Hushed in a tin suit,
Clutching a small key, Piglet
Meets the Heffalump.

--eharris, dpharris@bc.sympatico.ca

10841.
Gelatinous meat
Blue cans of epiphany
Immaculate food

--John Squeo, bestfrnd@lex.infi.net

10842.
Is it just me or
Can anyone else see "GOD" in
This web page background?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

10843.
John Cho: SHAM-sama!
Thanks for bringing SPAM to print.
Our country is great.

--Lynn Finch

10844.
It sure is a shame
That SPAM comes in a blue can
And Bill on a dress

--My Gal Monica, Anonymouse

10845.
SPAM is the greatest!
I eat it three times a day.
And sometimes I spit.

--My Gal Monica, Anonymouse

10846.
Bubba visits Hub
Kneeling, Menino eats SPAM.
He's that kind of boy.

--Irving Blueth, irv@flashnet.com

10847.
SPAM flog that Arky
'Til all the Hope is beat out.
Speaking of "beat out".....

--Henry Jerkowitz, hank@mtnet.com

10848.
SPAM comes in blue cans
As do the San Franciscans
In the cold showers.

--SPAM Me Sammy

10849.
Midterm tomorrow.
What am I doing here, SPAM?
I just want an A!

--P.R.

10850.
He strafes enemies
Parachute deploys; evade
Life-saving SPAM snack!

--P.R.

10851.
At good Viktor's wake
We ate SPAM; all shed a tear
As whiskers brushed bowls.

--Meredith Merritt

10852.
White kitten cavorts
About her SPAM dish, growing
Pinker and pinker.

--Meredith Merritt

10853.
SPAM cigar Bill's brand
Been smoked many times by Dems
Only $40 mil.

--Presidency For Sale Cheep, Sold as is

10854.
Healthy SPAM smoothies
Keep you jogging...........to the john
But it's exercise

--Marathoner, meltdown@znet.com

10855.
Monica ate SPAM
And inhaled Billy's cigar
Not a healthy broad

--Roberta Frost, saugus@ma.com

10856.
Porn in the Whitehouse
Oval Office sure ain't square
Where are the pictures?

--Pinky Lee, Plee@prod.net

10857.
Canned SPAM and Bill swill
That's what my life has become
The price for my vote

--Flush Bill

10858.
I love Bubba Bill
I am very fond of SPAM
I am on Prozac

--Psycho Mama Sarah, pms@home.net

10859.
True visionaries--
Folks at Hormel. New career?
Employee discount.

--Amy Melnicsak, amelnics@hotmail.com

10860.
To wash down a slice
I obey my thirst and reach
for the Clamato.

--Amy Melnicsak, amelnics@hotmail.com

10861.
Not to be confused
with your Pennsylvania twin,
delicious scrapple.

--Amy Melnicsak, amelnics@hotmail.com

10862.
Open can to air
for aromatherapy--
the scent of cat breath.

--Amy Melnicsak, amelnics@hotmail.com

10863.
Gelatinous blob,
Too bad your pigs' feet cannot
help you run away.

--Anonymous

10864.
Falling is the SPAM
Into the monkey's loveseat
The spot won't come out

--Gas Cap Weasle, elevatorbuttons@hotmail.com

10865.
A man and a plan
A canal and Panama
And a can of SPAM

--Ross Brunetti

10866.
O the starry night
Crowded in my sight the stars
Constellation SPAM

--Ross Brunetti

10867.
SPAM doesn't "Clinton"
It stands firm in its own goo
It is what it is

--Diaperlump Klinton, gr8head@dhouse

10868.
I am so ashamed
Clinton, Treet of the SPAM world
Flush the bum and fast.

--Diaperlump Klinton, gr8head@dhouse

10869.
Soccer moms eat SPAM
Too busy for real cooking
But they's all do Bill.

--Soccer Dad, sd33@harnet.com

10870.
Thou shalt not steal SPAM.
Covet not your neighbor's SPAM
Clinton not your dink.

--Rose Farley

10871.
Arkansas Bubba
Gives Hope a terible name
He's Hopeless as SPAM.

--Arky Doodle, gotta move out quick

10872.
Dead from the neck up
Just as dead from the neck down
A lifeless SPAM lump

--My boy Billy

10873.
Have SPAM-ku book now.
Makes meditation mantras.
Great for digestion.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10874.
SPAMku? Horace knew:
Brevis esse laboro,
Obscurus fio.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

10875.
"In the future, each
Of us will be nauseous
For fifteen minutes."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

10876.
I'm always penning
Lines about SPAM's cuboid meat:
It's a writer's block!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

10877.
I'm in SHAM's new book!
Pity it's not one I could
Show to my Mother...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

10878.
SPAM of my delight
That knows no wane the SPAM of
Heaven sucks again!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10879.
SPAMatazoa
Are progenitors of Life.
Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10880.
Who would ever think
My fifteen minutes of fame
Would be about SPAM?

--Krink Falls Gulch, VA

10881.
Got my copy of
SPAM-ku book today. All hail
John Cho! You da man!

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

10882.
Hurricane Georges swept
Through Cho at Arecibo,
Dumped his SPAM on Miss.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

10883.
Like a master chef
At the Hormel Plant, John Cho
Hides WORM MEAT in work.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

10884.
Perchance a demon
Mutters curses at my back?
Nope; just frying SPAM!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10885.
In the beginning
There was the "BIG SPAM." Since then,
Pink cuboids pervade.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10886.
"Take cover. The SPAMs
Are coming. Hide the fry-pans.
Disguise the ketchup."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10887.
At breakfast table,
Waiting SPAMs are unconcerned.
They have dark secrets.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10888.
Passive on a plate,
The lone SPAM waits patiently.
Soon a knife descends.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10889.
Valiantly, I
Tried to putt a SPAM. I failed.
It just went "Ker-splodge"!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

10890.
I wrote SPAM senryu,
Six different languages.
Bastard published one.

--Dave Bieri, Dave_Bieri@idx.com

10891.
Free verse, bound book meet.
A tin-can-ab-u-la-tion
On processed pink pork.

--Matt Mirapaul

10892.
The secret of SPAM
Hides in Slick Willy's trousers
And in mom's day dreams

--Harriet Toomuch, burp@dtable.com

10893.
There is no justice
And there is no repentance
There is only SPAM

--Church of Spam Sperm, Willies@ll.gone

10894.
Antichrist Clinton
Seduced by SPAM in hunger
We fry in his fat

--Burt Debut, John@home.work

10895.
Twinkies and SPAM goop
My sister Sue practices
To become an aide

--Gordon Mc Fenwick, Gordie@uknet.net

10896.
Annoying SPAMku
Disregards redundancy
Yes, redundancy!

--Spaman, Spaman

10897.
SPAM stew in winter
It is an oral orgasm
A real Monica

--North Dakota

10898.
In the light of day
SPAM sure is some fuglee stuff
Last night....it was love

--Dreamer #1, everlybros@last.come

10899.
SSI...Oh my!
Hustle me up some SPAM ma'am
Shake your jellied can

--Senior Critter, white@flashnot.com

10900.
Moonlight and canned SPAM,
Cool beans, Wild I, and some crack.
A homeless picnic.

--Dawn Breaques, money@honeypot.com


Move forwards to Numbers 10901-11000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.