SPAM Haiku 12501-12600

Move backwards to Numbers 12401-12500.

12501.
SPAM is mystery.
What else lists both pork and ham
as ingredients?

--Curtis Bennett, cbennett@qni.com

12502.
Repugnant pink meat
How I detest thee vile SPAM
White trash of meat world

--Jacob and Tom, badfish12@yahoo.com

12503.
Bam Bam! I love SPAM
Monica too, boo-hoo-hoo
What I gonna do?

--Little Bill Bluett, bigtime@wash.come

12504.
SPAMinized my car.
The rain dances on my hood--
And the hound dogs howl.

--Three Feathers, cootchiecoo.net

12505.
The new SPAM butt wipes:
We just call them journalists--
And anchor men too.

--Three Feathers, cootchiecoo.net

12506.
Slimy piece of crap,
My heart calls to the oh SPAM
Rush of ecstacy

--My Heart Calls To Thee Oh SPAM, auztinpowerz@yahoo.com

12507.
I can't stop at one
Guess I'll have another slice
Is that all the milk?

--Matt Clenott

12508.
What will I do now?
You greasy pink slab of SPAM,
I cannot eat you!

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12509.
Everybody has
Their own ideas of SPAM
All except for Bill

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12510.
Trucks of Hormel SPAM
Move along the angry road
Turning faster wheels

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12511.
Little Monica,
Kneels at home eating her SPAM,
Practice for later.

--Albert The Dog

12512.
One empty blue can,
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
In this case salty.

--Albert The Dog

12513.
Relatives be damned.
I'll not waste cash when they die.
I'll just have them spamned.

--Albert The Dog

12514.
shoulder pork and ham
a question is answered, I
don't feel enlightened

--Joan

12515.
I eye a blue can
my last hope in this bleak land
no tab, hunger kills

--Joan

12516.
Spiral sliced SPAM stuff
Pink Slinky or hog dinky?
SPAM lovers don't care

--Suzie Semen-Staighn, blewdress@wash.come

12517.
SPAM haiku! Who knew?
Such a big to do over
processed piggy parts!

--Chris Bridges Roys, chris@cybergal.com

12518.
For real fun with SPAM,
Bring the "blue can" to the can,
Plop it on the seat.

--Bill Hansen, onieros@geocities.com

12519.
spam on the dashboard
how serious your quiver
the radio fades

--G. James, beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12520.
SPAM is very good...
That's assuming that you like
Canned fat, "meat product."

--Pip, Jonkleinow@macconnect.com

12521.
You thought that you were
Supposed to vomit like that
Because you ate SPAM

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12522.
Liplock that pink meat.
Roll it around on your tongue
Berlitz School of SPAM

--Herbie Heinz Phatt, knacker Snacker

12523.
I hit the button.
"Here's the SPAMku you just sent:"
What the hell's "SPAMKU"?

--Grunter Hunter, Phoebe@yodel.com

12524.
Outta plugs again?
Not to fear, my Jenny dear...
Spam-pons a go-go.

--kstinson, hsonline.net

12525.
Warhol's Superstar?
Not that can of soup for sure.
Exploding Puce SPAM!

--kstinson, hsonline.net

12526.
Truckstop Sushi Bar
All you care to eat, people!
Agedashi SPAM

--kim, kstinson@hsonline.net

12527.
The 70s brought
Gary Glitter, Major Tom,
Sex, drugs, rock, and SPAM!

--kim, kstinson@hsonline.net

12528.
Two SPAM slabs make love
Oily pink loins wrapped tightly
In amoeba love

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

12529.
powerful suck as
the seal of fat is broken
the spam slips out now

--Keith Logan

12530.
Belch disapproval
The slick slab slides from the can
Onto the waxed floor

--Matt, Clenott

12531.
Blue can, now empty
SPAM will not last forever
My soul still hungers

--Airbiscuit, Airbiscuit@bubba.net

12532.
yes, SPAM spoke to me
and here is its whole message
it said "SPAM I am"

--Tina

12533.
fried pink, glistening...
fat pops, are you listening?
a SPAM christening...

--Shawn Herrin, shawnshawn@bigfoot.com

12534.
Is SPAM linear,
Or is it nonlinear?
Does SPAM reflect light?

--Peter Berman

12535.
Two dancing blue tins
Execute a pas-de-deux:
SPAM at the ballet.

--Peter Berman

12536.
Doctor Who's TARDIS
stood for, ``Time And Relative
Dimensions In SPAM.''

--Peter Berman

12537.
``Buy the SPAM and sell
the SPAM and ask the SPAM to
fall on me.'' -- M. Stipe

--Peter Berman

12538.
When the Hammer says,
``U can't touch this,'' he means his
stack of old SPAM cans.

--Peter Berman

12539.
Men Without Hats...Why
Did they feel so safe--were they
Fortified by SPAM?

--Peter Berman

12540.
Rule for this evening:
Write enough SPAMku, and one's
Bound to be clever.

--Peter Berman

12541.
Maybe not this one,
Nor the previous one...but
One of these will be.

--Peter Berman

12542.
Closing time...Turn on
All the lights; I know who I
Want to feed me SPAM.

--Peter Berman

12543.
It's all right, it's all
Right, all right; unnh! SPAM moves in
Mysterious ways.

--Peter Berman

12544.
Help! I'm trapped in a
repeating SPAMku pattern,
a three-line addict.

--Peter Berman

12545.
Take "SPAM" spelled backwards
And you certainly get "MAPS"
Do they show the way?

--G.J., beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12546.
The river rises
From a gently falling rain
Dampens SPAM sandwich

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12547.
Pan encourages
The hot sizzling swine to fry
Quick! Where's the flipper?

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12548.
thick pink goo, quivers
between twin white sheaths; a SPAM
tartare; ah, how quaint.

--Anonymous

12549.
Smelling of dead pigs
SPAM easily gets moldy
What a barfy food

--Mitch Dalton

12550.
SPAM on your moustache
Fruit flies in your lime Zarex--
I love you Sandra!

--I.B. Hardy

12551.
Merciful Father
Deliver us from evil
Generic lunchmeat

--Matt Clenott

12552.
Making my SPAM shake
I overstuff the blender
Faux-beef explosion

--SPAM Monger

12553.
Low on cruise missiles
NATO unveils SPAM weapon
The skies rain pork death

--SPAM Monger

12554.
Truck full of road kill
Enters SPAM processing plant
And comes out empty

--Wild T.

12555.
We send the Third World
Nations SPAM by the truckload
See why they hate us

--Wild T.

12556.
I ran the chainsaw
Then I had a SPAMBURGER
They'll never find Mom

--Wild T.

12557.
Fell and broke my wrist
I made a splint from SPAM cans
How lucky for me

--Wild T.

12558.
Pink, crunchy shapes of
Many beasts of the jungle
SPAMinal Crackers

--Wild T.

12559.
Hole in the ozone:
Could its cause be the many
farts produced by SPAM?

--Wild T.

12560.
Eight years of college
Just to write SPAMku. I wish
I had my degree.

--Wild T.

12561.
I fucked SPAM last night!
The SPAM was too embarrassed
to brag about it...

--Slyderboy

12562.
Eating SPAM while you
Masturbate is a case of
Extreme self abuse

--Slyderboy

12563.
I tried to eat SPAM
Off her body, but there are
Things a whore won't do

--Slyderboy

12564.
On Monica's dress
DNA testing confirmed
a SPAM jelly stain.

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12565.
Redneck teenagers
believe SPAM ooze can be used
for contraception...

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12566.
Hidden by Hormel,
in a furnace's ashes:
organ donor cards.

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12567.
SPAM's strong saltiness
Cries out for counterbalance.
Eat a candy bar.

--Ollie Podrida, ValGal20@aol.com

12568.
My SPAM is growing
Getting bigger every day
Got to buy new pants

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12569.
Please, kiss my SPAM dear
Wet and juicy, made to please
Just don't bite too hard

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12570.
Anticipation
Of that sweet mystery meat
Makes me melt like SPAM

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12571.
Remember, kids: use
The key and Mr. SPAM is
No longer our friend...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@yahoo.co.uk

12572.
SPAM the WONDER FOOD:
You eat it and you wonder--
Now where's the damned food?

--Monica Loves Billy, 4/1/99

12573.
SPAM flavored stamp glue
Is why workers went postal--
Want to lick my stamps?

--Conrad Fagone, Chelsea@St.Stan's

12574.
Chilled SPAM jam frappé
Here's to you, my yuppie friends
And your progeny!

--Soccer Moms Bring, Balls To The Game

12575.
I hate SPAM a lot
If only it taste like steak
It might be better

--jim garren, jimtin@aol.com

12576.
In the Beginning
God made Earth, Fire, and Water.
SPAM was the binder.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

12577.
Time mows down mortals,
Yet its scythe does not touch SPAM--
Thank preservatives.

--L. Sheahen

12578.
It's said eating SPAM
Will bring one enlightenment.
Not sure I agree.

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@gateway.net

12579.
Once, in the U. P.,
Played a band called "The SPAM Band."
And where are they now?

--james, simply james, jphink@hotmail.com

12580.
The 12th night of May
SPAMpoles sprout legs inside the
Blue sarcophagous

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12581.
Guts growl in anger.
SPAM resists all efforts at
Regurgitation.

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12582.
Fleabag hotel bed:
Sheets reek of SPAM and semen.
I like to stay here.

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12583.
One bored God said on
The seventh day, "They need SPAM."
Then all hell broke loose.

--Velvet Elvis, sssh@whoanelly.com

12584.
Oh! glorious SPAM.
Mighty font of nutrition!
My heart fills with lard.

--StankFoot, bmarlin@xnet.com

12585.
We think it is safe
FDA gives two thumbs up
Siskel dies from SPAM

--Spankin' Sammy

12586.
Refugee diet?
"We'll feed them SPAM," Red Cross says.
An ethnic cleansing.

--Spankin' Sammy

12587.
I laid my member
Twixt those spiced pink labia.
Oh. Was that your lunch?

--Spankin' Sammy

12588.
What's in that damned can?
All I know is, my body
Turns it to liquid.

--Spankin' Sammy

12589.
Boil one large lobster.
Top with SPAM and jelly goo.
Don't tell anyone!

--Spankin' Sammy

12590.
Smooth-lubed with SPAM goo
Butt cheeks gleaming in the sun
She rode sidesaddle.

--Spankin' Sammy

12591.
Archaeologists
Dark tomb glint of gold and blue
Mummy rots--SPAM's good

--Spankin' Sammy

12592.
Porcelain goddess
I worship thee mightily.
Gastric juice and SPAM.

--Spankin' Sammy

12593.
Wet swimsuits drying
Dappled sunlight pink picnic
We lick our hands clean

--Spankin' Sammy

12594.
Africa needs food
United States sends SPAM-aid--
Africa starts war

--Amb. Girarda U.P.A. , almark@dicksonstreet.com

12595.
When the truth is found
to be lies and all the joy
within you dies: SPAM.

--Spankin' Sammy

12596.
Pinworms? I wonder...
No, Mom, you served SPAM last night.
Is YOUR ass on fire?

--Spankin' Sammy

12597.
My arteries clog
and my toilet does as well.
The pain I call SPAM.

--Zach Scott, Zvoll@aol.com

12598.
SPAM floating in space
It is three thousand and one
You smell delicious

--G. James, beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12599.
I sleep with my SPAM
I cherish it lovingly
Makes my bed smell rank

--Dangerously Psycho, DPsycho@dangerous-minds.com

12600.
Close up of SPAM can
Slow-motion gun shoots bullet
Tough as a lock? Nope

--Cliff Drane, dranec@hotmail.com