SPAM Haiku 12801-12900

Move backwards to Numbers 12701-12800.

12801.
Cubed conformity
like suburban life, SPAM, you
are hard to stomach.

--John Ferrari

12802.
SPAM, you are pink death
embrace me not, Daddy-o:
Beatnik SPAM haiku.

--John Ferrari

12803.
Two thousand and one:
A SPAM monolith unearthed
perfectly preserved.

--John Ferrari

12804.
Benihana SPAM:
Slice it, dice it, grill it up,
tastes so exotic.

--John Ferrari

12805.
Blue can on the shelf;
unknown meat in opaque slime.
No one dares touch it....

--Jonathan Beasley

12806.
SPAM was in the womb
Meat, in the dawn of my life
Left the can behind

--ike plemons, taco0@hotmail.com

12807.
voilier sur les ondes
rien à manger que le SPAM
cuisine mal de mer

--Mike Beatty, beathy@TSO.Cin.IX.net

12808.
oh my freaking lord
this spam haiku disaster
what have we become?

--Anonymous

12809.
Pink sheen of bad ham.
Unfirmly as a bad bruise,
SPAM sits and glistens.

--doc M, from the 'Peg

12810.
Glistening lard cube
When I poke it with my fork,
The thing starts to bleed.

--aNonYmOus

12811.
Stuck to my leg pit
Last night's pink SPAM treat, Oh God!
Better than a man.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12812.
Hand carved Hormel SPAM
I do mix work with pleasure--
Are you hungry dear?

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12813.
Hanging in da Hood
Ya gets down to chomp da SPAM
It's for all my Gs

--G-man Ghet'to eats no chic'kan, It's like da creme of da crap!

12814.
The Clintons are just
Trailer park trash Kennedys
More U.S.A. SPAM!

--Ernie Rossault, Ernier@uk.net

12815.
Todos los person-
as en el mundo guapo
comer mucho SPAM.

--Rachel Annie Bananie

12816.
Get off your fat butt
What do you mean "There's no SPAM"?
Kidney/Pea soup's fine!

--Red nekked and proud of it!, bubba@dc.net

12817.
Ah Boston's Big Dig
Corrupted by pols and hacks
Spamenino town

--Virgil Lent Peepers, Watch the mayor

12818.
It's been here I know
SPAM tracks in my Jockey shorts--
But where is it now?

--Bobby Rogers

12819.
We were worked like dogs
We sure were dumb animals
All we ate was SPAM

--Billy Rogers, Burlington Ma.

12820.
When I eat SPAM, Wow!
I yodel-elay-heee-eeeee!
Down at the old Y.

--Jimmie Rodgers

12821.
Empty blue SPAM cans
Overflow McDonald's trash--
Where the hell's the beef?

--Awilda Beest

12822.
You like SPAM, loco?
Where the hell are your taste buds?
Hey! Pick up your pants.

--Izzie Kidden

12823.
Slipping and sliding
In gobs of SPAMgoo were we
Y2k KY.

--Jelly Don't Taste Like That!, KY is Kentucky Jelly?

12824.
Used to pick my nose
And hawk lugis, big thick ones
And then I found SPAM.

--Looks Like Gel, But ItSnot, Green Booger Ice Cream Co.

12825.
Foxwood's Casino
Indians scalp the white eyes
Leaving them for SPAM

--Red Tribution, Vaccumn their wallets braves!

12826.
My dog won't eat SPAM
but he likes to lick his butt--
That tells ya something.

--Charles E. Hoarse, charlie@webnet.com

12827.
French fried Hormel SPAM
Like most things from France suck big
And they smell bad too

--Put some France in your pants, or in the John

12828.
Monkey Spanking girl
Rosie O'Donnell knows SPAM
Shampoo this rug girl

--Squid Spanking Girl

12829.
I love my sweet SPAM
And I love your SPAM sourpuss
Eat, drink and vomit!

--Harold Klanton, Hklanton@uc.edu

12830.
Old wrinkled and worn
I can't remember the taste--
I think I loved SPAM!

--Ulysees D. Lite, but not often.

12831.
Hallowed pinkish SPAM
Drooling for you and on you--
And the old pond farts.

--Shirley Collins, Saugus Ma.

12832.
Bedazzling pork chunk
Magical, mystical SPAM--
Will I be the Prez?

--Billary Clintons

12833.
Butt crack pork stuffed pols
Wipe their elbows in the head--
Never knowing SPAM.

--Monica Meehan For President, On your knees Marty!

12834.
The old pond is dead
Choked on grease, oil, and SPAM cans--
Like my arteries.

--Itchibutt Skratchit, Itchibutt@crack.org

12835.
Where is Greenpeace now?
Whale watching and jean creaming--
Save the world from SPAM!

--Itchibutt Skratchit, Itchibutt@crack.org

12836.
I've SPAMmed many meals
After I acquired the *TASTE--
Or fried my palate.

--Jan Yuppinsky, *similar to the Acquired taste of many terrible ethnically eaten animal parts..ie fish chitterlings, sweetbreads

12837.
Drinking Wild Eye wine
I see the cherry blossoms--
I think of SPAMku.

--Velda's Vomitorium, We serve fresh winos and winettes daily.

12838.
Sex not that fat pig
Petunia will ruin ya
Dip your dink in SPAM

--Bildo Clinton Does It Again!, monkeydink@oval.come

12839.
Phallic SPAM dangling
Hung in the Cistern Chapel
Come all ye faithful

--Joe Bergogne, Jb18374@networks.com

12840.
Vermont you've fallen
Green mountains of moldy SPAM
And NY scumballs

--Gene Burroughs, none

12841.
Since I was a babe
Paddling in SPAM--a hobby
Feel the squidge on feet

--Joy and Kaby, Estella666@chickmail.com

12842.
SPAM and candle light
Slow cooked over gaseous flame--
Wax improves SPAM's taste.

--Howie Doinhuh, hd123@anchornet.com

12843.
Recollecting pigs
I think of my junior prom--
I nicknamed her SPAM.

--Fredrick Fowler, Freddy@arkienet.com

12844.
Skunk cabbage blossoms
Bouquets of burdock encrotched--
Field cooked SPAM dinner.

--Fredrick Fowler, Freddy@arkienet.com

12845.
when I was young my
dad gave me a spam sandwich
traumatic childhood

--Rev. S.A.S., revsas@hushmail.com

12846.
My stomach rumbles
Inverted brown Old Faithful--
Nine yards of tissue.

--Olive Pitts, OP@ao.net

12847.
I loved SPAM, I did
But I was forced to eat it--
S & M, W/F

--Awilda Beeste, awild@pm.org

12848.
Spank you in SPAMku
You're kinky, but no Freeman--
You ain't kosher SPAM!

--Oi Vey Already!

12849.
I won the raffle
A can of SPAM at G.A.
I'm on a roll now

--Ralphie Prudhomme

12850.
Time and time again
SPAM wet belches up on me--
Echoes of lunch time.

--Vinnie The Nose, noend@last.com

12851.
The monk spewed vomit
Like a Las Vegas fountain--
God and SPAM's revenge.

--Not Thelonius, MONKeying around.

12852.
SPAM and Polaners
A sweet and sour vomit bait--
Bulemic's delight!

--Ignatius Panda

12853.
Italian SPAM
Never in my Popemobile--
I don't like stained glass!

--Felix Dupont, feke@john.com

12854.
My sister eats SPAM
Then goes out and howls the moon--
She is a real dog.

--Lassie, woofwoof@kennel.edu

12855.
Ms. Beatrix Potwell
Cooked a fine SPAM casserole--
Nobody ate it.

--Jimmy Potwell

12856.
The war is on now
Do you believe this BS--
There's no SPAM shortage.

--Nelson Borders, teeter@the edge.com

12857.
Irony. Must eat
SPAM to achieve zen state then
write SPAM-ku and die.

--Tbone4

12858.
SPAM is for those that
really live life, unless they
drop dead. Then it's not.

--Tbone4

12859.
Life in the nineties
Flick your Bic and slam your SPAM--
And don't get married.

--Anne A. Partredge, In a pear tree?

12860.
Fat life in da hood
Pop-top SPAM eat fast and run--
Gold don't slow me down.

--Blue's the Color, And we're all pink inside.

12861.
Oyster juice surrounds
Or is it boiled okra pus?
SPAM sperm bank or what

--Mary Beth O'connell

12862.
Knock Knock. "Uh, who's there?"
"Hormel delivery man."
"Ain't nobody home."

--Cathy, DonCathy2

12863.
Slice thick; marinate.
Grill on mesquite barbecue
six minutes per side.

--Reed Monroe

12864.
You must tear the SPAM.
Don't cut it; that would ruin
your whole SPAM salad.

--Reed Monroe

12865.
She said she liked SPAM.
K-Mart cancelled her contract.
Martha Stewart's out.

--Reed Monroe

12866.
Budget caterers.
Pate sculpture. Fois de gras?
No, god damn, it's SPAM!

--Reed Monroe

12867.
"Ipecac syrup,"
Poison Control Center says.
"Don't have it? Use SPAM!"

--Reed Monroe

12868.
Found no teeth don't chew
Leave it for St. Crispen's day
Brave and foolish few

--Norm, SIC9@prodigy.net

12869.
spam of our fathers
holy spam, we will be true
to thee until death

--Anonymous

12870.
spam on the ceiling
how did it get there? only
crazy grandma knows

--Anonymous

12871.
some people eat spam
but what i like to do best
my friend, is snort it

--Anonymous

12872.
Pink wedge of heaven--
serve it with joy to loved ones
clasp tin to chest--sigh.

--Meerkat Selil

12873.
Infatuation
Surf SPAM ku site all day long
Brain waves cease function

--Brad Kautz

12874.
SPAM on Kosovo
Milosevic surrenders
A porcine peace prize

--Brad Kautz

12875.
PC won't reboot
Cycles but will never start
SPAM in the hard drive

--Brad Kautz

12876.
I ponder SPAMness
'Tis an interesting muse
Now I must vomit

--Brad Kautz

12877.
Hillary Clinton
Coming to NY to SPAM
Keep your legs crossed girls

--Bildo's Pervert, NY watch out!

12878.
Wrap yer lips round SPAM
Monica or Hillary--
Don't send us The Bill!

--Monica That Salty Lunch Meat Boys, And gals to of that persuasion.

12879.
Fledglings of SPAMku
I sit in the john and think--
But it just won't come.

--Bill Dillon

12880.
SPAM Porkaroni
Mmm-Mmm! Phrrrrrt! snif snif, munch munch--
Harvard serves brain food.

--Harve Farunueva, Ponce, PR

12881.
My SPAM tastes funny
Put some Heinz ketchup on it--
On "it" or my SPAM?

--Gary Glover, garyg@ao.net

12882.
Clinton names Hormel
Bane of right-wing homophobes
First SPAMbassador

--Peter Fotopoulos, peter_fotopoulos@hotmail.com

12883.
I eat SPAM with Joy
I relish her company--
And I still hate SPAM.

--No Ketchup Thanks!, It's goop for trailer park trash!

12884.
new marketing move
Baskin-Robbins SPAM Ice Cream
melting sandwiches

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12885.
Arkansas fans oink
Smack lips at tailgate parties
"How 'bout that SPAM!"

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12886.
Packs of hungry dogs
follow bikers eagerly
drawn by Spamdex shorts.

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12887.
Scientists in lab
make vegetarian SPAM.
Happy grunts from pigs.

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12888.
SPAM for my dinner
And hairpie for my dessert
Oh no! No toothpaste

--Mikey, drjin@aol.com

12889.
You must make meaning
Camus probably said this
While eating his SPAM

--Vanessa, ladynorth_98@yahoo.com

12890.
Any child of SPAM
Would clearly be considered
Illegitimate

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@gateway.net

12891.
SPAM, you confused meat
You sweet doggie ambrosia
Poopie on the grass

--Anonymous

12892.
SPAM as diet aid--
Carry SPAM lunch up mountain
Carry it back down.

--Reed Monroe

12893.
James Hormel is first
homosexual envoy.
Many gays ashamed.

--Reed Monroe

12894.
Mummification
guaranteed with SPAM diet.
Nitrates prevent rot.

--Reed Monroe

12895.
This work is not art
My poems are not poems
And SPAM is not meat

--Reed Monroe

12896.
SPAM is nothing but
unrecognizable scraps
of shit eating pigs.

--tbone4

12897.
Test market survey:
New crap-shaped SPAM not selling
Appetites suppressed

--Tbone4

12898.
SPAM's true irony:
Lucifer's evil conduit
Wrapped in God's grace shroud

--Tbone4

12899.
Empty diapers found
at two county landfill sites
near SPAM factories

--Tbone4

12900.
Seventy homers!
Mac's pre-game energy boost:
SPAM and creatine

--Anonymous