SPAM Haiku 12901-13000

Move backwards to Numbers 12801-12900.

12901.
Crackle, sizzle, curl.
Rectangular shaped mock meat.
Penis substitute.

--Debbie Heitlauf, grehei@msn.com

12902.
I have submitted
Many error filled haiku
Lack of SPAM at fault

--Tbone4

12903.
The Zen that is SPAM:
Soil your mouth, ruin your shorts
Ecstasy plus bliss

--Tbone4

12904.
Violating SPAM
is redundant. How much more
could you smack up pork?

--Tbone4

12905.
Similarities
Found between SPAM and Senryu:
Addictive habits

--Tbone4

12906.
How does one describe
In seventeen syllables
SPAM's massive appeal?

--Tbone4

12907.
Kosovo in ruins
Serb bastards planted SPAM cans
Instead of landmines

--Krink - Falls Gulch VA

12908.
SPAM SPAM Not a Ham
Nor pork, nor beef, nor lamb, damn
In My Mouth I Cram

--Kathy, MiaoMx@aol.com

12909.
Hillary's Yankees
Bill "SPAM Boy" is one of them--
Does New York need this?

--Yankee This Fat Gal!, Monica For Senator

12910.
Ketchup with real life!
Coat your SPAM with the red stuff--
Kosovo Blue Plate.

--Delmontes Catchup!, jeff@icon.com

12911.
Naked SPAM and I
Significant Others, WE--
And no child support.

--Delmontes Catchup!, jeff@icon.com

12912.
SPAM lunchmeat hot dogs
You're gonna love these puppies--
Tube SPAM at its best!

--Felicia Padiddla

12913.
After eating SPAM
Heavenly choirs of angels
Burp, pass gas, and stink!

--Rev. Itupman, Minnesota's Da Bomb! Yesss!

12914.
A CRUEL PUNISHMENT
SENTENCED BY THE JUDGE TO EAT
SPAM THREE TIMES A DAY

--Mikey, drjin@aol.com

12915.
THE ZEN OF SPAMKU
CAN ONE EVER UNDERSTAND
PIG GUT POETRY?

--MIKEY, DRJIN@AOL.COM

12916.
Anti-gravity?
Snacking on curried chicken,
They admired the SPAM.

--Anonymous

12917.
Anti-gravity!
Thought it was impossible.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.

--Anonymous

12918.
Golden lid on top
of can, inside pink and moist
is SPAM. SPAM, SPAM, ...SPAM!

--Anonymous

12919.
Chopp'd pork shoulder meat
with ham meat added and salt,
water, sugar: SPAM.

--Anonymous

12920.
After gardening
the man tries to share his SPAM
with his perplexed cat.

--Jeffipop

12921.
Slobo defiant;
Then NATO drops huge SPAM bomb.
Slobo surrenders.

--Peter Fotopoulos, peter_fotopoulos@hotmail.com

12922.
Childhood memory
Snap, crackle, pop in the pan
Fried SPAM for breakfast

--Chuck David,

12923.
All-new bride's cookbook:
"Ninety Ways To Feed Him SPAM."
Divorce rate soaring.

--Jeanne Pinneo,

12924.
When I was little
I threw away all the keys
No more SPAM, oh please!

--Willie Daniel

12925.
Flatulent thunder
Strange sputtering and splashing--
The outhouse loves SPAM.

--Ivan Itchibutt

12926.
"Vy-eenie sausage."
"No, Maw Maw, that's 'Vienna.'"
"What, is SPAM from France?"

--Biff Williams

12927.
Dinner in Longmont
A Boulder yuppie's nightmare:
Cigarettes and SPAM.

--Lissa Jedamus

12928.
Hey you, Thunder Thighs
Lickety Split bring my SPAM--
Life with Bill and Hil.

--Bite the Big Apple, Don't invite the worms

12929.
The Romans killed Christ
The pope is a rich Roman--
I am SPAM I am.

--Curious George's Banana

12930.
Fat pigs don't get AIDS
And pigs are made out of SPAM--
SPAM might be The Cure.

--SPAM AID, Might be the bandaid.

12931.
Hail SPAMkuer Goofs!
I give you the SPAM salute
*Phrrrrrrt! to you and yours.

--Fingerman, fingerman@uc.edu

12932.
If SPAM could just talk
All of life's questions answered
Alas, it just sits

--Anonymous

12933.
Under my dropped eggs
The prehistoric meat sits
Since nineteen fifty

--Clarence Whitters, NO THANKS!

12934.
God is humorous
And equally as evil
God created SPAM

--John the Baptist

12935.
Baked beans and boiled SPAM
Menino and Cellucci
A pair of dry twats

--Boston IS Dangerous, To your health

12936.
I will not eat SPAM
Finger food of cloven hoofed
And I'm on welfare

--Paul Reed, preed@ao.net

12937.
I loved you in blue
But you're pretty in pink too
Red, White, and Blue...SPAM!

--Tommy Toyota

12938.
Reason not but SPAM
Quivering, slick, moist, pink meat
Pinnacle porcine

--Oakie Doakie

12939.
Flatulent donkies
Smell better than blue canned SPAM--
And they have more taste.

--Joe Camel

12940.
We get no SPAM here
And where is here you might ask-
And break secret oaths?

--Joe Camel

12941.
What oh where is LOVE
Is it cold SPAM and warm hearts
Or wet underwear?

--Joe Camel, wears no underwear

12942.
Hack! *cough-hucktooie!
SPAM beer and smokes for breakfast--
Living in the weeds.

--Joe Camel

12943.
The shopping cart rusts
In the old pond and the smell
Rusty cans of SPAM

--Awilda Beeste

12944.
Fresh cut smell of grass
Peach blossoms, crickets chirping
SPAMku sure isn't

--Lao Tse's gas passing, Get a grip on that Spam

12945.
Psychological
Warfare. The departing Serbs
Watch G.I.s eat SPAM.

--Tbone4

12946.
"What's going on here?"
said the USDA man.
"SPAM," said pig, winking.

--Tbone4

12947.
Submitted SPAMku
Read it....god awful it was
You should be ashamed

--Harry Champer, Horn Pond, Woburn

12948.
Shining blue SPAM cans
Are the building blocks of life--
In Philly's ghettos.

--Brendan Goldstone Piofski

12949.
Polliwogs dancing
Zip-flicking through the fox tail,
Until they ate SPAM.

--Joppa Jones, jj@bcnet.com

12950.
SPAM you've ruined me
Ate holes through my pantaloons
Now I wear Depends

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my Spam!

12951.
The narrow gold road
Is paved with pink blocks of SPAM
And leads to the morgue.

--Elmer Porter

12952.
The dog humped my SPAM
Just what is this stuff made of?
And now he's snoring.

--Doc Rocket

12953.
West Virginia
Bluegrass musicians eat SPAM
And sleep in the shed.

--Clara Potts, cpotsruns@night.com

12954.
Jolly Green Giant
Well, he wasn't always green--
Until he ate SPAM.

--Z Bone

12955.
Drowning, I can't swim.
But wait! I had SPAM for lunch.
Floating, help arrives.

--Tbone4

12956.
Composted pig meat
Hydrated with thick sputum--
Communion of beasts.

--TB or not TB

12957.
Damn me, but SPAM me
Momma I need your booty--
Taco with a smile.

--Norman Whitehorse

12958.
Though the key is near,
Pink Houdini can't escape-
Has to wait 'til lunch.

--Douglas James Collinge, dcolling@abyssnet.com

12959.
What the hell is this
The SPAM Jerry Springer show?
Japanese revenge.

--RALPHIE

12960.
Grasshopper once heard
Snatch the pebble from my hand
Or try for SPAM cube

--Jeff Dilcher

12961.
Lucy in the Sky
McCartney and Lennon wrote
They must have dropped SPAM

--Jeff Dilcher, dilcher@cueva.com

12962.
Pink dead gristle flesh
Clog my veins and stop my heart
In death I miss you

--Dokuji Wanabatingie

12963.
SPAM on my pizza!?!?
Stand down, vile pepperoni--
a new King is born!!

--DJPJ

12964.
SPAM ripping the poor
Schering ripping of the sick
Same Chit dif'frent day

--Boycott Schering Drugs, get tested for HCV/HBV

12965.
A lovely June day
A jug of port, SPAM, and you
I'm in hog heaven

--Walter Babbett

12966.
Jelly splattered shirt,
Bloodied mouth and lips without
the key. No SPAM lunch.

--Jitters@MOOphoria

12967.
Life in the Fast Lane
Meals of SPAM not included--
Speed does have its price.

--Jonathan Hawker, Jhawk@primenet.com

12968.
I talk of SPAM but
I can only afford TREET--
The poor school boys' whore.

--Chesterly Gindstone, Buzzerb@hamuknet.edu

12969.
Beneath her fine skirt
I reached and felt her booty--
She was boosting SPAM.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12970.
I popped her firm top
The juices ran down her hose--
Sweet SPAMalingus.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12971.
Got to the hot meat
Gawd it was juicy and sweet--
Blue-balled ecstasy.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12972.
Working all the nooks
Took time I was on the books--
And I still hungered.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12973.
'Twas love at first bite
In the aisles of pink delight--
Triple couponed...Yes!

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12974.
SPAM in my cupboard
A sweet mystery disclosed
I smile at your taste

--Maria Grande, mag@wilkinsonogrady.com

12975.
Grease block of sweet love
My stomach screams in hunger--
SPAM be mine tonight.

--Henry C. Clay

12976.
Blessed be thy meat
Hallowed be thy slimy gook--
I shall not trespass.

--Davie Dinkum, dd123@cc.net

12977.
In the olden days
John the Baptist munched his SPAM--
Double-jointed he.

--Jean the Croppy Girl

12978.
SPAM stew with oatmeal
A stick to your shorts hot meal.
Dessert? Sticky buns!

--Grilfred Wimley

12979.
If you've eaten SPAM
Get tested for HIV--
'Cause you're a screw up!

--Fight the disease, Not the folks with it.

12980.
Ultimately SPAM
The pink slime lump of dead swine
Will be our savior.

--Temple SPAMalam, SPAMALAM to you my brothers and sisters.

12981.
I'm in the pink Lawd!
Praise the holy name of SPAM
And the Mother Sow.

--Temple SPAMalam, SPAMALAM to you my brothers and sisters.

12982.
Plum blossom dew drops
Caress my SPAM lovingly--
I give it a wipe.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12983.
You people are sick
Leave SPAM alone already
What's next....FRENCH FRYku?

--Milicent De Male, somewhere@sometime.com

12984.
Genghis Khan couldn't
Frank Sinatra never did--
Eat your SPAM.....Eat it!

--KINGSFORD

12985.
SPAM wedgies pucker
In the mist the full moon grins--
The old pond reflects.

--Spawn of preppies, and diseased yuppies

12986.
SPAMku lovers all
From Chicago to St. Paul--
Need Carpal Tunnel.

--Spawn of preppies, and diseased yuppies

12987.
While I was in school
My grades suffered; I ate SPAM--
And then I suffered.

--Nilda The Nutritionist, @ your local hospital.

12988.
Butt wads and MDs
Send finger waves from NY--
While SPAMs and I grin.

--Hector "Carajo!" Rivera

12989.
Eighty year old Kooch
Just how does it smell G-man?
It ain't got no nose.

--Ivanna Tellu

12990.
China must be SPAMmed
And the sooner the better--
Take-out will then cease.

--Bomb China , fortune cookie included

12991.
SPAM voters beware
Governor Bush and his wife--
A Clinton repeat.

--Texazz Pete, Thank you US customs!

12992.
SPAM FOR PRESIDENT
Everything's bigger......Texaz!
Including the thieves.

--Texazz Pete, Thank you US customs!

12993.
"Winnie's The Pooh's poo
Looks and tastes strangely like SPAM"--
Hillary said that.

--Grover Anne Grover, gag@attnet.com

12994.
Step child of dead swine
Graces our table tonight--
Then squirts in the bowl.

--Harold McKinnon, somewhere in NH

12995.
The big marathon
Two hours after eating SPAM--
Head for the border.

--Paco Waco

12996.
Caucasian pig meat
The festive blue collar lunch--
It keeps you going.

--Anonymous

12997.
Just listen to SPAM
Sizzling wads of Pork Fun Goo--
In the old projects.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

12998.
Richardson's "Wild I"
A used rubber and some SPAM.
Hillary's my date.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

12999.
SPAM and old Depends
Smell the same in the summer--
Like Governor Bush.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

13000.
Just because it's SPAM
Garlic blossoms bloom....The wind--
I ralph through my nose.

--Monica Kneeles