SPAM Haiku 13001-13100

Move backwards to Numbers 12901-13000.

13001.
SPAM in the Arctic
Tastes good on ice. Even more
So on melba toast.

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13002.
Placid pond sunset
Lingering campers are here--
A blue can Squirting.

--Mr. Echo, And his blue can

13003.
Whenever I need
Some filler for my po'ems:
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13004.
He woke up to find
himself drowning in SPAM. It
was strangely tender.

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13005.
Smoking eating SPAM
I threw a fart and..............KABOOM!
Colonic cleansing.

--Jared So. Cal, I luved my little butthole "Janie"

13006.
Sign in Hormel plant
Down in southern Florida
"Habla Espamol"

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13007.
part-time SPAM farmer
home, home on the firing range
shooting them SPAM cans

--Andrea Gradidge, andreagradidge@usa.net

13008.
If a can of SPAM
stays unopened, forever,
does it have a taste?

--Reed Monroe

13009.
What's the sound of one
can of SPAM being carried
in a soft silk bag?

--Reed Monroe

13010.
Y2K SPAM bug
Date "02": 1902?
Some cans ARE that old!

--Reed Monroe

13011.
The Donner Party--
you guessed it--ate each other
to avoid them cans.

--Reed Monroe

13012.
Constraining format,
Haiku. Words packed together
Like pork parts in can.

--Reed Monroe

13013.
Inspiration gone
It's two a.m; my mind burns.
I've lost my SPAM muse.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13014.
Old SPAM on the shelf
Waiting for SHAM to serve it
Hope no mold is there

--Anonymous

13015.
spam is a pink slut
readily available
you gotta decide

--lowlandr, low@yercervix.com

13016.
Crooked pols like SPAM
Are not what they seem to be--
They repeat on you.

--Hans Offami

13017.
Marooned in desert.
SPAM dropped in sand. Don't panic.
Take last water, rinse!

--Tbone4

13018.
pink meat spins around
tequila and triple sec
spam in a blender!

--dr. soo dho nimh

13019.
Blue can in the sand
Pink greasy meat in the street
Oh paté passé!!

--dr. soo dho nimh

13020.
no beef for Balkans
end chaos in Kosovo
send SPAM to the Serbs

--dr. soo dho nimh

13021.
Refugee numbers
dwindle. News spreads that NATO
Air drops SPAM back home.

--Tbone4

13022.
My child's been barfing.
If only I had some SPAM
to calm his stomach.

--Tbone4

13023.
Medical research
finds liquid farts caused by SPAM.
SPAM... undies... sales up!

--Tbone4

13024.
SPAM posters on walls
helps Mellow Pigs in Hormel's
Slaughterhouse. Hog pride!

--Tbone4

13025.
Severely Painful
Animal Mutilation--
SPAM. Naturally.

--Tbone4

13026.
"'Tis safe," says MacBeth.
"SPAM is not of woman born."
Death at Dunsinane.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13027.
I feel so unsure
Is meat supposed to do this?
Jiggle... squish...condense...

--Abbriette

13028.
I ate my self whole.
Masters, innocents, rank fools,
Questioned the jade sheen.

--Anonymous

13029.
Lust anorexic
aimless wonders never cease.
SPAM? Oh no, never.

--Anonymous

13030.
SPAM is made from pigs.
You wanna see me prove it?
Here's the curly tail.

--cathy, doncathy2

13031.
"What was on the news?"
"Big riot at the prison."
"Dinner dish was SPAM."

--cathy, doncathy2

13032.
Pink and Green Salad--
The green stuff looks like lettuce.
What's that pink stuff called?

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13033.
SPAM tastes very good.
Political correctness
Makes me tell a lie.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13034.
SPAM casserole can
feed ravenous multitudes--
just add some noodles.

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13035.
SPAM in the dewy
morning air, unfolds its can
and lifts towards the sky.

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13036.
Skeezers eat pink SPAM
Across this country's projects--
Smoke crack...Vote for Bill.

--Jose Kanusi, Bronx Rocks!

13037.
Kissed by a bee, SPAM
germinates and flowers--so
great to be alive!

--David Bernstein, dberns@sapient.com

13038.
I wander meat fields
In SPAM soiled satin undies--
Looking for a john.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13039.
Japanese have yen
To visit the home of SPAM--
And die having sex.

--Fuku Oku

13040.
Mmmm, SPAM marmalade
Of entrails, hawg maws, and spunk--
Cajuns say "Oh Boy"!

--Cajun Ambrosia

13041.
MAKE MONEY FROM HOME!!!
just so much frustrating waste
ugh! delete! delete!

--Your Mom!, bitchin@yourmom.com

13042.
A pink SPAMicide
Picnic lunch by the old pond--
Shredded my colon.

--Death by Food, Brought to you by the San Fran colonic cleansing society.

13043.
Bottomless panties
A must for those who eat SPAM--
Skid marks on my skirt.

--Spacie Gracie, You Can Kiss My SPAM!

13044.
Boston needs some help
Mumbles, Howie, and the Sox--
They all suck tube SPAM.

--Guido Bernstein, Revere Ma. Rocks!

13045.
In the pre-SPAM days
Americans were soooo dumb--
And had dumber kids.

--Spam Up America, briancx@windernet.uk

13046.
God save the old queen
She looks like a cake of SPAM
And smells like one too.

--UK, The mother of the US, She's our step child...Bastard!

13047.
Trailer park trashers
Across this once great country
Live in cans themselves.

--Bobbi-Jo Greasy, Send us a care package of SPAM

13048.
Cheez Whiz Bobbi-Jo!
You sure are one wide-assed load
What you mean "More SPAM"?

--Bobbi-Jo Greasy, Send us a care package of SPAM

13049.
Spunk Puke And Mucus
The perfect OA diet
One day at a time

--Loose 30 lbs. today......Vomit!, Get your plump butts into OA Fatsos!

13050.
Tumorous lunch lump
Oozing saline pork pustule--
And then there was SPAM!

--Knacker in Knickers

13051.
Bloody toilet's plugged
Like a beekeeper's butt hole--
Who's been at the SPAM?

--Matthew U. Arnutz

13052.
Up the long ladder
His final request was SPAM--
Down the short rope.....Arrrgh!

--King Billie, the Papa Roma

13053.
SPAM worm infested
I type my first / last SPAMku--
And drown in my juice.

--David Harris, Lynn, Ma.

13054.
In this world of pain
Refuge often is fleeting
SPAM be my haven

--Jim Berge

13055.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard for SPAM--
We shot the old broad.

--Jennie Jenkins Tx.

13056.
SPAM Continental
Good for the wearisome mind--
Eaten in the nude.

--Buddie Tyler

13057.
I'm grateful for SPAM
I've no friends and I'm lonely--
SPAM warms my cockles.

--Doggie Bone, Spam Me Sammy in Alabamy

13058.
Louisiana
Crawfish pink SPAM gumbo...Sex!
Forget the gumbo.

--Doggie Bone, Spam Me Sammy in Alabamy

13059.
Deep in my stomach
There's a hollow emptiness--
I just threw up SPAM.

--Nick "The Nose" Gorgonzola

13060.
Ten floors underground
In a place called "pentagon"
A secret lurks: SPAM

--Ryan Williams

13061.
I lost my ferret
So much I missed petting him
Then I pet the SPAM!

--Ryan Williams

13062.
Stranded on island
The only food left was SPAM
My arm tasted great

--Ryan Williams

13063.
In the cold winter
Your home can become freezing
Use SPAMsulation

--Ryan Williams

13064.
To avoid punctures
Try filling your bike tires with
Resiliant SPAM

--Ryan Williams

13065.
On my home planet
Children recline on the ground
And watch SPAM drift by

--Ryan Williams

13066.
The SPAM of my youth:
Flame resistant fiberglass
I have no teeth left

--Daniel New

13067.
SPAM has a shelf life?
Surely you must be joking!
It is immortal

--Ryan Williams

13068.
Clippity clop...Clank!
How utterly amusing!
SPAM cans on dog's feet

--Anonymous

13069.
My precious pet dog
I lost him the night before
I look in the SPAM...

--Daniel New

13070.
Damn my waterbed!
Many waves keep me awake
I'll fill it with SPAM!

--Ryan Williams

13071.
Gas, Liquid, Solid
The only states of matter
Unless you count SPAM

--Ryan Williams

13072.
When I was sixteen
I worked hard all summer long
And bought my first SPAM!

--Ryan Williams

13073.
Lonely, I eat SPAM
My stomach gurgles in pain
The SPAM speaks to me!

--Daniel New

13074.
On the space shuttle
Astronauts are given SPAM
They long to return...

--Ryan Williams

13075.
I search for my hat
A yarmulke made of SPAM?
A fashion statement!

--Daniel New

13076.
In the public schools
Dangerous SPAM is ripped out
Asbestos works fine!

--Ryan Williams

13077.
The Taco Bell dog
So tender and delicious
A SPAM candidate!

--Daniel New

13078.
The Bomb Squad came out...
A bomb? No, but even worse!
A weapon called SPAM!

--Ryan Williams

13079.
I walk the dark streets...
The hungry cry out for SPAM
Some would rather die...

--Daniel New

13080.
My brain is empty
A suitable replacement
Would no doubt be SPAM

--Daniel New

13081.
Holy Shangri-La
Secret city of legend?
A farce made of SPAM!

--Daniel New

13082.
Alternative home:
At last! Cheap, sturdy housing
SPAM cans are so strong

--Ryan Williams

13083.
You are what you eat
SPAM! A symphony of beasts
Call me: spotted owl

--Daniel New

13084.
An atomic war...
Even cockroaches perish
Only SPAM survives!

--Ryan Williams

13085.
A strange addiction:
Furiously, I eat SPAM--
Can I ever stop?

--Daniel New

13086.
Women go crazy
If you stop using hair gel
And use slick SPAM juice

--Ryan Williams

13087.
The Porcelain God
Takes my offerings of SPAM--
But growls angrily.

--Ralph Upchuck, ahopper@john.com

13088.
Pink SPAM brown feces
Modern art in the toilet--
A Kodak moment.

--Ralph Upchuck, ahopper@john.com

13089.
SPAM rubs the fuzz off
Of them Georgia gals' peaches--
Two servings per day.

--Janiqua Spellman

13090.
Sunset clouded skies
By the polluted old pond--
Amtrak SPAM Moment.

--Joyce Klaman

13091.
Massage and SPAMku
Motion Lotion of SPAM spunk--
Life in the shelter.

--Marty "Monica" Meehan , Cleans the sink in the Oval Office.

13092.
SPAM, Diet Pepsi
Heinz Ketchup, Miracle Whip--
Blessed America?

--Mr. God CEO, No phone jacks in heaven

13093.
Pink Panther of SPAM
Our only insulation--
In a cruel cold world.

--Corning Owens

13094.
Refugees of SPAM
Spare change, wash yer winders sir?
Rush hour perfumage.

--NY Made Me Dirty Today!, Hilary will make it dirty tomorrow.

13095.
SPAM thighs Hillary
Is in big heat for power--
She's also homeless.

--She's a Woman of Her Word and, Her Word LIKE Bildo's is "SPAM"!

13096.
Hillary and bush
She will get the Lesbo vote--
SPAM lickers Unite!

--Bildo's Moist Humidor, Hilarity for senate!

13097.
Feeling down and out
I quickly zippered my fly
And tipped her with SPAM

--Sally Rottenkrotch, wedgie@crack.com

13098.
Prescription for SPAM
given to me by my doc--
does SPAM cure cancer?

--Ms. Mangled Healthcare, Don't let your MD kill you!

13099.
Talk to your doctor
Let 'em know you'll sue them good--
If they SPAM you up.

--Ms. Mangled Healthcare, Don't let your MD kill you!

13100.
The story began
Happily never after--
I had my first SPAM.

--Hubbad Mutha