SPAM Haiku 13501-13600

Move backwards to Numbers 13401-13500.

13501.
La Casa de SPAM
You can drink the water here
Constipation row

--Lumpy Diapah

13502.
Mount Fuji panties
Blow up the soccer balls Mom--
Feed Jeeves the cat SPAM

--Alison's Buddy, I bloated for Clinton.

13503.
The "Cold War" raged on
Uncle Sam did feed us well
Cold shoulder called SPAM

--*<]:-)~*

13504.
Hurricane Andrew
Dade County ate lots of pets
Bush sent SPAM too late

--Fox in The Bush, 1992 Never Forget!

13505.
The real "Wrath of God"
Come packaged in a blue tin--
A SPAM God grenade.

--Justin Cooper, NY

13506.
Thinkers of the world
Constipated pork-plugged souls
Outhouse SPAMkuers

--Howdy All!

13507.
Ancient SPAM sushi
Pork, in a pig's ass it IS--
Our butt's in your mouth.

--Charlie's Sushi Sty, Where else? San Franciso, Ca.

13508.
"Filet of Warden"
Folsom Prison's finest meal--
Chipped SPAM on creamed toast.

--Johnny Creditt, Folsom prison BLUEs...SPAM & granite.

13509.
New England breakfast
Maple syrup fried SPAM slabs--
Later.....sticky buns.

--Jack Burns

13510.
In the lunchmeat world
Our name is a household word--
The word is "Toilet"!

--Anonymous

13511.
A shiny blue tin
Hermetically sealed contains
Slimy pig innards

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

13512.
The code made no sense--
and the coffee was no help;
wish I'd eaten SPAM.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13513.
Bruised and bloodied in
a scrape. Recuperating
with SPAM on my face.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13514.
The alien said,
"Schniffblifftz!" through its hideous
SPAM-spewing nostrils(?).

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13515.
The whiteboard was marked
up with weeks worth of info
on the SPAM project.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13516.
The end of the world--
Cockroaches versus SPAM will
not be televised!

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13517.
When I touched the SPAM
it blushed and shivered and asked
me if it would hurt.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13518.
Lucky told me that
the SPAM Archives accepted
nearly anything.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13519.
"Anything?" I asked.
"Suppose I wrote a haiku
about SPAM shingles?"

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13520.
"Pass," Lucky said.
"I wrote one about a SPAM
powered radio."

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13521.
"But the SPAM would get
on your fingers when you turned
the dial." "Uh huh."

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13522.
SPAM hanging Willie
Oval Room sink reflections--
Clinton looks normal.

--"Tear out that Damned sink!", Pres. Bush's first Executive Order.

13523.
The smile of your face
In the toilet's pink water
The SPAM hangover

--It's not Betty

13524.
Consider this deed:
Please wrap up a can of SPAM,
mail it to a friend.

--Don Niman

13525.
SPAM dreck dreary day
Chopsticks are of no use here--
Graveyard Soup du Jour.

--Polka Dot

13526.
Pink teeth healthy gums
SPAM flecks I'm no longer starved--
Mint floss for dessert

--Polka Dot

13527.
Howard Johnson's SPAM
Twenty eight different shapes--
One awful flavor.

--Cole Meany, iranuran@once.com

13528.
1/1/2000.
Vegas? Ayer's Rock? Time Square? Nah.
The tube. Dick Clark. SPAM.

--Tbone4

13529.
Can you ever have
a friend who knows your deepest
Thoughts? SPAM is that friend.

--Tbone4

13530.
Deep manure wallow
SPAM gaily floats to the top--
The cream of the crap!

--Billy Sullivan

13531.
None here eat pink SPAM
Garden's strewn with empty cans--
Houdini lunchmeat?

--Valarie

13532.
SPAM Prevents Acne?
Ever see a pig with zits--
Eat your SPAM daily.

--Ms. Piggy

13533.
Slab of SPAM on bread
With Miracle Whip and cheese
I miss my granddad

--Maude, unclemaude@hotmail.com

13534.
the SPAM on my hand
pinkish with pig testicles
it is so yummy

--James Knabe, mr.feldman@juno.com

13535.
I see the pink meat
I shall eat it with a fork
SPAM is good for you

--Leland Stanford, lelandstandford@hotmail.com

13536.
Through a big round hole
In the dark yesterday's SPAM--
Bobs with corn and sprouts.

--Outhouse Bob, The North Woods, Dickey, Me.

13537.
Millennium bugs
Eaters of virtual SPAM--
Et yours too Brutus?

--Ceasar De Ceased

13538.
Grisly SPAM murders
Now a serene gaseous view--
Of dead blue soldiers.

--Terrence O'Malley

13539.
Consciousness suspends
SPAM is asleep in the can--
A one pound land mine.

--Peg Leggo

13540.
Mama served us SPAM
And ate without her dentures--
Man that turned me on.

--Ima Vicktem, aka: Slick Willie

13541.
"What is the SPAM?" a
Child asked, bringing me the can.
Lucky Whitman's dead.

--DrLit

13542.
Never mind the SPAM
Why not "can" the damned SPAMku?
And keep the lid down!

--Anonymous

13543.
SPAMku is NOT prose
SPAMku authors are NOT pros--
But I be.......A Pro.

--Anonymous

13544.
SPAMenco guitar
SPAMish music at its best--
If you give a pluck.

--Montoya B. Aguitar, Made out of SPAM cans.

13545.
Pretty and slimy
The SPAM in the summer sun
Ants praise the heavens

--Carrie and Nicolio, Weerdmonky@aol.com

13546.
The noisome pinkness
of SPAM approaches my mouth,
slides down the poor throat.

--Anonymous

13547.
There's no skull and bones
Anywhere on a SPAM can--
They're packed IN the can.

--Phil Cooper

13548.
A snot from her nose
Fell on my SPAM when she sneezed--
And hid in the gel.

--Santulo

13549.
Writers of SPAMku
Are college whipper-snappers
Who can pull it off.

--Dennis Moran

13550.
I love Hillary
With her cork-screwed pig dink tongue--
SPAM The Apple girl!

--Mr. Brownjeans, brownjeans@butt.come

13551.
Chopped and fried with SPAM,
they are a redneck staple:
Hormelized onions.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13552.
SPAM-ku diet plan
(I've lost ten pounds already):
Surf here before meals.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13553.
In my dream, wheels spin.
Slot machine stops: SPAM - SPAM - SPAM.
But what does it mean?

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13554.
The doctor chuckled,
"Your SPAM count is through the roof!"
"Clean living," I said.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13555.
Load bearing bridge, O
It falters. Low bidder's work,
SPAM in concrete mixed!

--Gita Smith, gsmith@ajc.com

13556.
The scars of SPAMku
In the stomach of my mind--
Pepto my vision.

--Captain Fishgap

13557.
Fighting to survive
I pop the top and slop SPAM--
Lottery addict.

--Frankie Rodrigues, So. Calipornia

13558.
On Phish Summer tour
Fatty veggie burritos!
No, thanks I'll have SPAM

--David Miller, dmmiller@onramp.net

13559.
Watchers of SPAMku
Participants not of Life--
Eaters of dry words.

--Sonya Gotta Gogh, getalife@lastchance.com

13560.
Hole in one riders
Dump their Harley dreams and stare--
At this......my SPAMku.

--SPAMkufitti

13561.
SPAM hockey tourney
Toothless fugly balding men
Canadian crack

--Puck, Hockey

13562.
Life's slippery slopes
Paved with cold blocks of pink SPAM
And I'm barefooted.

--Anonymous, Anonymous

13563.
SPAM is like a man
Soft and mushy in the can
No good for a girl

--squirty

13564.
Cat tails in the pond
Empty blue SPAM cans float by--
But where are the cats?

--Gregory Bateson

13565.
I boarded my cat
Because he ate my SPAM hash--
With a two by four.

--Gregory Bateson

13566.
Vegetarian
And sane I am, things which don't
A SPAM eater make

--The redhead

13567.
deep in a dream i
cook rice and eggs, but auwe
no SPAM--a nightmare

--Kapi, Tjapukaii@aol.com

13568.
Should the SPAM Haiku
website have as its address
"SPAM Haiku dot SPAM"?

--dr soo dho nimh

13569.
Blue shorts strain, contain
A jiggling SPAM avatar--
Pink meat packed too tight.

--DrLit

13570.
Just one thing is worse
For your digestion than SPAM
It's Pabst Blue Ribbon

--Mike Hunt

13571.
Juicy canned swine butt
Blue Monday's much bluer now--
But I'm in The Pink.

--Cole Itus

13572.
Cat throws up again.
It looks so pink and lumpy--
Ooops, he ate the SPAM!

--Daphna, daphnag@mindspring.com

13573.
Eating fifty cans
of SPAM for lunch or supper
makes you very full.

--D. Edwards

13574.
What thing do I see?
A can of SPAM just for me!
I am filled with glee.

--D. Edwards

13575.
Nights of SPAM and gin
My panties full of compost
My man likes my butt

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13576.
Roseanne Barr eats SPAM
I know by looking at her
The pig parts show through

--Anon, Jesse_burns@yahoo.com

13577.
Oh, SPAM, you found me.
Oh, how did you find me, SPAM?
How did you find me?

--Mr. JON, mr.jon@gurlmail.com

13578.
Y2K problems
Shrink into the background as
You consider SPAM

--Anonymous

13579.
"Reset All Inputs"
Then try to think of one more
Stupid SPAM haiku

--Anonymous

13580.
The, ah, real reason:
Mary Joe was eating SPAM
At Chappaquidick

--"Teddy", ekennedy@capitalhill.gov

13581.
I hate my master.
When we have SPAM he never
Lets me lick the can.

--"Buddy", diversiondog@whitehouse.gov

13582.
Dr. Frankenstein
Made more than just that monster.
Can y'all guess what else?

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13583.
Magician's prop: SPAM
"Now you see it; now you don't."
I like this guy's act.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13584.
Happy and jiggling,
fresh young SPAM charms the picnic.
Old folks sweetly smile.

--Junkyard God

13585.
Dad grabs last SPAMWICH.
"That's okay. I've had enough."
I feign contentment.

--Junkyard God

13586.
Mix SPAM with ALPO.
Dog's won't eat it otherwise.
Heart Worm's silent scream.

--Junkyard God

13587.
Muscle, bone, organs:
Evidence all life arose
from a primal SPAM.

--Junkyard God

13588.
Alien ship lands.
Laugh when they see cans of SPAM.
Their book: "To Serve Man"

--Junkyard God

13589.
Y2K failures
dump raw SPAM in the river.
Behold: Silent Spring

--Junkyard God

13590.
Yellow vinyl floor,
A friendly rancidity,
SPAM at the Lokeys'

--J. English Smith, wamba1@mindspring.com

13591.
Boat on the Mekong
I choke on my Lao boyfriend
As SPAM slows the leaks

--Steven, stevensteven@prodigy.net

13592.
This old can of SPAM
Has more living brain cells than
Albert Einstein's brain

--Steven

13593.
Oh, A B C D
E F G, H I J K
SPAM's enough for me

--Steven

13594.
Road kill in my fridge
SPAM in my freezer, freezing
I miss you so much

--Steven

13595.
She looks delicious.
I'd like to clean her kitchen,
Spank her with my SPAM.

--Russell W. Holloway, Russellholloway@usa.com

13596.
I do my yoga
to offset the effects of
eating pig paste--SPAM.

--Sir Fartzalott, docyoga@aol.com

13597.
"Binary" weapons
now outlawed by the U.N.
include SPAM haggis.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13598.
I replaced the suet
with SPAM, in our birdfeeder.
Had a Silent Spring.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13599.
Denny's Grand Slam meals
now include a side of SPAM.
Minorities sue.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13600.
My SPAM-ku reared up,
raised its ugly head and croaked,
"Don't make more like me!"

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com