SPAM Haiku 13601-13700

Move backwards to Numbers 13501-13600.

13601.
Southern Jewry dream:
Kosher kibbled crunchy SPAM.
The pig kept Sabbath.

--Brother Gutter, efranke@brazosport.cc.tx.us

13602.
I just found this site
You guys really eat that crap?
My dog won't touch it

--Airhead, chief@calweb.com

13603.
soft touching wind slides
down hot breath towards her hand
caressing cold SPAM

--<<>>, polloroid@hotmail.com

13604.
See what poor pig eats?
I shall watch you die laughing,
SPAM-vectored kuru.

--Brother Gutter, efranke@brazosport.cc.tx.us

13605.
Fire in Hormel plant.
But Marketing saves the day:
New Smoke-Flavored SPAM!

--Reed_Monroe

13606.
Forever SPAM-less,
Condemned by a single word:
Vegetarian!

--Christopher Baskind, kit@VoodooRadioNOSPAM.com

13607.
I wanted it now!
As I squeezed down on the lid
sliced off my finger.

--Kent Morgan

13608.
Scraps spinning a new
Jungian connection to
Upton Sinclair's dream.

--Todd Johnson, Hungry Horse

13609.
The reservation
smoke shop trades cartons of cigs
for vintage blue cans.

--E. After Swine

13610.
Holy abbattoir
Kosher bleach of alchemy
Could not clean this flesh

--Kent Morgan

13611.
Today's my birthday.
Got a watch, socks, and boxers.
No SPAAAAAAM! Heartbroken.

--Tbone4

13612.
Mark McGwire at bat.
Three on. Pitcher throws blue can.
WHAM! BAM! SPAM GRAND SLAM!

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13613.
Just old fashioned SPAM
Full of grease, salt, and toxins--
SPAM prevents old age.

--Ofeodu Skarew

13614.
Drug testing in sports
Should look for trace amounts of
SPAM in the system!

--dr soo dho nimh

13615.
Summer heat is here
So hot they say you could fry
SPAM on the sidewalk

--dr soo dho nimh

13616.
I make cheap movie
About scary blue can hunt
The Blair SPAM Project!?

--dr soo dho nimh

13617.
Big black eerie bird
Perched there saying, "Nevermore."
After eating SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13618.
French Chef, Julia Child,
Trying to make it taste good,
Makes SPAM Bourguignon.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13619.
Deutsch Chef, Wolfgang Puck,
Prepares brand new German dish
SPAM und Sauerkraut.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13620.
Necrotizing SPAM
Stops the aging process....Dead!
In its tracks....Your tracks.

--Digger O'Graves

13621.
Blind date SPAM hunnie
I bumped into her downtown--
She spared me some change.

--Coleen Murphy

13622.
Mom served SPAM daily
The old man loved the pink stuff
That's why he ate SPAM

--Keep The Piece, R. Chee Bunka

13623.
Tasteless SPAMku bits
Black letters bugs on my screen
Get the Freaking Raid!

--Wayne Rodrigues, Chelsea, Ma.

13624.
SPAM: a pink liver
Vital organ in food chain
Grocery store guts

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13625.
SPAM: good hobby tool
Built an HO train layout
Called my town SPAMville

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13626.
Valentine's Day treat
Give to the dream of your life:
A heart-shaped SPAM can

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13627.
Helpful diversion
Sitting through a long meeting
Thinking up SPAMku

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13628.
New all-SPAM diet
I'm losing a lot of weight
Real bad farting, though

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13629.
SPAM and Monica
Can and dress with sticky stain
Bill Clinton loved both

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13630.
Get the blender out
Add carrot juice and some SPAM
Enjoy a smoothie

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13631.
You must talk the talk
Then go out and walk the walk
Then go fry the SPAM

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13632.
SPAM: death in blue tin
Interring of life's pink flesh
A frypan rebirth?

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13633.
Note Porky's Passing
In the anonymous tin
Like a plain white cross

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13634.
Ignorance is bliss
Think not of the origin
SPAM food denial

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13635.
Visual delight
Lay SPAM on paper towel
Translucent grease stain

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13636.
Gift or vengeful act?
Found SPAM can in my mailbox
Should I call bomb squad

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13637.
SPAM fried in butter
Dish just like Mom used to make
My nickname was "Fats"

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13638.
So, food chain justice?
SPAM made me fat as a pig
Coffin, my SPAM can?

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13639.
SPAM: robust food source
Porcine-based eating system
Download some porkware

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13640.
Play kick the SPAM can
New take on an old child's game
Play till can explodes

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13641.
SPAM: test it yourself
Throw a slice against the wall
It will stick--Really!!!!

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13642.
Telegenic food?
No media blitz for SPAM
No Super Bowl ad

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13643.
Hormel goes hippie
Brand new SPAM, made of tofu
Sold in a green can

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13644.
SPAMkuer doers
Geeks, Spazzes, Nerds, and Dimwits--
Deer in the headlights.

--Rudolph D. Redd, knows rain dear

13645.
There is no SPAM here.
Get out of my GODDAMN yard!
Or I will stab you.

--Anonymous

13646.
SPAM is beautiful.
It makes me want to have sex,
sex with pigs and dogs.

--Anonymous

13647.
SPAM is illusion
Not real food at all, at all
Yet it cries, "EAT ME!"

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

13648.
SPAM is what you crave
Poke a hole plop a egg for
Soon you will be dead

--rubybegonia2213@mailcity.com

13649.
Aliens probing
a post-nuclear earth find SPAM,
allowing closure.

--Tbone4

13650.
"Crushing"'s all the rage.
The new kink in town. SPAMmers
smile. We know the score.

--Tbone4

13651.
I come to from the
car wreck smelling vapors. SPAM
can that burst saves me!

--Tbone4

13652.
Been almost a year
Since I wrote my last SPAMku.
Now I'm back again!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13653.
My last SPAMku was
Number 10518.
Nothing's changed since then.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13654.
Sober for a year
From lethal virus SPAMku.
I caught it again!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13655.
Grocery check out
Old man has five cans of SPAM?
He must be WHITE TRASH!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13656.
Who would want to buy
Stupid book full of SPAMku?
How do I get one?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13657.
Liposuction hose
Empties straight into blue can.
Then put on store shelves.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13658.
Should get back to work.
If I get caught on the Net
No more SPAM for me.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13659.
Married August 3rd.
All we served in buffet line,
Diff'rent SPAM fried meals.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13660.
Shiny Metal Can,
Looks at me and pleads with me!
Don't eat me.....YOU'LL DIE!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13661.
Inevitable.
White trash lawn includes eight cars
That don't work and SPAM.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13662.
Salty, gooey, pink.
Sounds a little strange to me?
Oh well. I'll eat it!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13663.
What is in that can?
I can not figure it out.
Kill the cat instead.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13664.
Fry the curly tail.
Mix it with the hooves and spleen.
Add red cancer dye.

--Kent Morgan

13665.
Once upon a time,
Mama, Papa, and piglet
Chopped up together.

--Kent Morgan

13666.
what could it have been
in my undies smeared with SPAM
no explanation

--Anonymous

13667.
SPAM in my blue jeans
the girls check out my zipper
they must like my meat

--Anonymous

13668.
vegetarian
has no place in this diner
the diner of SPAM

--Anonymous

13669.
it may rack your guts
so can the trials of love
so go eat the SPAM

--Billybob

13670.
liver transplant failed
so they used a can of SPAM
invincible now

--Billybob

13671.
send flowers or SPAM
the fight was quite serious
so I send the SPAM

--Billybob

13672.
monsters in the dark
SPAM resides in the cupboard
the dark is my friend

--Billybob

13673.
SPAM crawls from the murk
it is a living breathing
force to reckon with

--Billybob

13674.
who dares insult SPAM
it is the food of the gods
though it tastes like shit

--Billybob

13675.
Prozac is best tak-
en on a full stomach. Most
Doctor's suggest SPAM.

--Tbone4

13676.
where could it have gone
the SPAM, that ungrateful SPAM
left me all alone

--Billybob

13677.
forgotten, lonely
SPAM will keep me company
silent and greasy

--Billybob

13678.
flocky pink toe jam
compressed in little tin can
more Third World relief?

--Brian C. Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

13679.
At school I wore a
SPAM shirt with some Levi shorts.
Girls thought I was hot!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13680.
Sexy can of SPAM
Sitting on the pantry shelf.
I want you right now!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13681.
What the pigs don't eat
What you don't eat of the pigs
Equals can of SPAM

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13682.
Desolate horror
of gelatinous oozing.
Abomination.

--Abum E. Noble, anoble@abum.com

13683.
I hold the SPAM up
between the sun and my eyes
solar SPAM eclipse

--Billybob

13684.
the Y2K bug
will Hormel be compliant?
SPAM must be hoarded

--Billybob

13685.
SPAM in the sunlight
the can is hot, do not touch
it might just explode

--Anonymous

13686.
atomic winter
life is gone, only roaches
and SPAM have survived

--Billybob

13687.
SPAMoneggar speeds:
our Hero in a steel shell.
Surely he'll save us.

--Brian C. Bartley, SPAMacles@diehardSPAM.com

13688.
a coffin of tin
what was the deceased pig's name?
its name is now SPAM

--Billybob

13689.
Childhood memory:
Dad frying SPAM in the rain.
That was a breakfast!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13690.
When I was a boy
We were so poor, we ate SPAM.
No longer, Thank God!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13691.
I have a question.
Why so many SPAM haiku?
Are you all insane?

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13692.
Try so very hard
But can I write SPAM haiku?
I am a failure

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13693.
Summer sun has set
On day spent on SPAM haiku
I must go home now

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13694.
Summer sun setting,
Evening sky of shooting stars.
Time for SPAM haiku!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13695.
Westward, sun has set.
To the East, the sky is dark.
Time for SPAM haiku!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13696.
Nietzsche on cubed pork:
"What doesn't kill SPAM makes it
stronger, tastier."

--Julie M. Cox, jmcjls@earthlink.net

13697.
vomiticus SPAM
cling to the porcelain god
flush away dinner

--Billybob

13698.
key, opens it up
open blue can, please open
goodness, what a smell

--Billybob

13699.
Long dead pig head food
Testicles maybe even
No worse than Big Mac

--kent Morgan

13700.
Can you eat the SPAM
Does it taste like a gay man
Go get a tan man

--Dave K., cpruitt825@earthlink.net