SPAM Haiku 1501-1600

Move backwards to Numbers 1401-1500.

1501.
Manifold cooking.
SPAM, potatoes in wine sauce.
Wild tailgate party!

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1502.
Ice cream? I think not!
A new delight awaits me.
Call it SPAMoni!

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1503.
"I'll be back!" he said.
He travels through time and space,
The SPAMinator.

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1504.
Bodies greased in pink,
They grope, and struggle, and strain.
Female SPAM wrestlers!

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1505.
Thanksgiving is near.
Let us all be thankful for...
Pigs' butts, I mean SPAM.

--Nicole Postlewait

1506.
SPAM for lunch today
Stomach pumped by dinner time
Do not eat canned meat!

--Nicole Postlewait

1507.
Bits and pieces, chunks
of meeses, compressed and wrapped
in pure cellulite.

--Anonymous

1508.
Holiday fruitcake
replaced by a mystery
Spamcake on your plate.

--Anonymous

1509.
SPAM is dangerous
We should have been warned by Ralph
The Corvair of meats

--Warren "Woo" Kimball, Wkimball@state.ma.us and John Fiorentino, Jfiorentino@state.ma.us

1510.
I open my SPAM
but the jelly is missing.
Quick! Call up Clark's Parts.

--Warren "Woo" Kimball, Wkimball@state.ma.us and John Fiorentino, Jfiorentino@state.ma.us

1511.
Carnal temptation:
Spread thine crusted tin portal...
Shaking pink pork, unnnh!

--The Happy Anarchist, happy@aloha.net

1512.
Can you forgive me?
An absence unjustified
SPAM, I have returned

--Michael Pohl, mjpohl01@homer.louisville

1513.
spam is like a dream
mystery, ever present
meaning of our lives

--Anonymous

1514.
Budweiser frogs jump--
Not! SPAM floating on airwaves
makes no sound in pond.

--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@interramp.com

1515.
No stranger to fowl.
Plop snouts and ears onto plate--
The other white meat?

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1516.
Feeling very sick...
Gush puke into the toilet
Looks, smells, tastes like SPAM!

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1517.
Someone fed me SPAM
I'm a vegetarian
Pork diarrhea

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1518.
born of global war
was the deadly atom bomb
and SPAM--oh, horror

--ifiq210@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu

1519.
Fat, goo, and nitrates
A pork product comfort food
Clogged arteries, bliss

--Anonymous

1520.
The tucked tin too tight
Wobbly waif of porcine pink
Pearly tine waster

--Al Burns, coppeea1@europa.com

1521.
Drunk crippled Ewok,
Dead on sidewalk, piss-drenched fur,
SPAM just out of reach

--Charles Campos, chaz@mailserv.edcc.edu

1522.
Oh beautiful SPAM
If I eat it every day
Will I porcify?

--Anonymous

1523.
can love please me as
a pound of chocolate? or
sweetly smell of spam

--s. hodges

1524.
A SPAM meal for two
Cheek to cheek so fortunate
Swine may swill, eschew

--Pete Manos

1525.
As the sages spake:
best to watch SPAM being made
than legislation.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1526.
Girlfriend's twat too wide--
Insert molded slab of SPAM.
Now she's virginal.

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1527.
SPAM, a lust object
Taking the fruit of my loins
White goo dribbles down

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1528.
SPAM, the food of life!
It is just like ham except
It tastes like real shite!

--Muffin the Mule

1529.
SPAM is real squishy
I drop it from a large height
And watch it in flight

--Muffin the Mule

1530.
When it hits the ground
It makes a real squishy sound
I scream with delight!

--Muffin the Mule

1531.
Arachnid perspires
Freely, composing "Some Pig."
Wilbur's a spared ham.

--Wendy Schramm, wschramm@mcc.miracosta.cc.ca.us

1532.
I'm a pacifist,
But I long for a chance to
Cram SPAM down Newt's throat.

--Anonymous

1533.
SPAM art is enriched
By freedom of expression,
But, Jesus, Wiggy!!

--Anonymous

1534.
Red-head endorsement:
"VitaSPAMavegamin...
It's so tasty, too!"

--D. & K. @ H.G.O.

1535.
i love the pink meat
how it's on my hard penis
when i masturbate

--heightj@coral.indstate.edu

1536.
Sizzlean. Disco
era upscale cousin failed
immortality.

--Anonymous

1537.
O pink mystery
It's tough as a rubber ball
"Tennis, anyone?"

--Rob Dominguez, domingur@iscclink.is.qms.com

1538.
I lather a thou-
sand girls cooking eggs crushing
my spam dreams to sleep

--ted seven hogs

1539.
pregnant afterbirth
pungent glist'ning pool of life
we are born in spam

--ted seven hogs

1540.
SPAM dreams in the snow
ABBA plays on the CD
Naked I lie down

--Anonymous

1541.
SPAM in time saves nine.
A watch'ed SPAM never boils.
Eat SPAM, Forrest Gump!

--Anonymous

1542.
New SPAM Lite dinner:
low calorie action food!
Heart failure soon now.

--Rob Dominguez, domingur@iscclink.is.qms.com

1543.
Smalltalk haiku made
Discover SPAM on the Net
Greasy food and objects linked

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1544.
Must stay home, flu bug
Daytime tube sucks big pink one
Writes haiku instead

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1545.
Ambitious haiku!
One for each category
Archive immortal!

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1546.
Life is not per Gump.
SPAM analogy expounds:
Mystery and flesh.

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1547.
Israeli soldier.
Ration not called SPAM, but "loof."
Porkless. Try the beans.

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1548.
Consider these two,
SPAM and tofu: both cubes, both
A misery meal.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1549.
Anguished kids cry out
Another slice hits their plates
Send Pork Away, Mom!

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1550.
Get thee behind me,
Demon SPAM. A big surprise!
It's already there.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1551.
What should Santa bring?
She asked after a SPAM meal.
Alka Seltzer, please.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1552.
Ate some SPAM today
Shitting SPAM in my panty
Ooooh...I feel nasty!

--Anonymous

1553.
Two dogs stuck fucking
Hormel brings some Vaseline
Pink cube on a stick

--Anonymous

1554.
Raw flesh in a can
Pigs, dogs, and a human hand
Can of Hormel SPAM

--Anonymous

1555.
If Meatloaf were SPAM
would Frankenfurter say "No!
Not meatloaf again!"?

--Anonymous

1556.
see the noble spam
in gelationous fluid
it kind of wobbles

--MorteDante@aol.com

1557.
Newt, meditating.
"Welfare solved! Let poor eat SPAM!"
Hormel stock doubles.

--John Eidson, eidson@ll.mit.edu

1558.
Spam maps my mind, my
mind spams my map, I think I
hurl, therefore I spam.

--Anonymous

1559.
Red sky in morning,
Sailors take warning. SPAM stew!
Sailors massacred!

--Mike McGaff

1560.
Cram ham in a jam
Wham bam cam slam thank you ma'am
American SPAM

--Anonymous

1561.
Leg of mega ma'am
All ripply and made of SPAM
Substitute for ham

--Anonymous

1562.
Turkey SPAM sits still
Waiting for pilgrim to kill
Had none but had fill

--Anonymous

1563.
SPAM is as SPAM does
It sits in contemplation
Its mind is unknown

--Anonymous

1564.
Just five syllables--
And seven in the middle--
And all about SPAM.

--Anonymous

1565.
SPAM I never ate
Roadside debris I won't eat
They're one and the same

--Mike, Chris, Ian, and Kris

1566.
slow goo-ey release
sucking noise, sliding, dropping
gelatinous plop

--Anonymous

1567.
Apollo 13:
Pink weightlessness; SPAM in space.
What else could go wrong?

--Doug Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1568.
What do we enjoy?
SPAM haiku with odd content.
Don't eat it, write it!

--Mike McGaff

1569.
The blue can of SPAM
Which is the center of life
Is ready to eat.

--Scott Takemoto and Ken Rose

1570.
SPAM is an offah
To lose your appetite, but
Find Jimmy Hoffa.

--Peter Yannone

1571.
My SPAM can beckons;
I bought it on Turkey Day.
Leftovers look good.

--Alec Proudfoot, alec@netcom.com

1572.
We go together
Like SPAM-A-LAMA-DING-DONG
(No SPAM without Grease!)

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1573.
Fed SPAM to my grand
parents. It killed them. Oops. Should
have read the will first.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1574.
Turkey-shaped SPAM for
Thanksgiving dinner. None give
thanks but the turkey.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1575.
Corncob pipe, coal eyes.
My neighbors hate him greatly--
Frosty the SPAM man!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1576.
As in all nature,
Through the long tunnel of grease,
The SPAM seek the egg.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1577.
up there on the rack
my transmission is renewed
ninety-weight SPAM lube

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1578.
in emergency
mechanic packs wheel bearings
with a can of SPAM

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1579.
Indiana Jones
Places a bag full of rocks
In exchange for SPAM.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1580.
In SPAMerica,
That great melting pot of meats,
Hormel makes our SPAM.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1581.
Beneath the city
Madness screams for a cask of
SPAMontillado!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1582.
Where is it? SPAM maps.
Tell us how to get there, and
Is a palindrome!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1583.
on Texas prairie
an ancient creature survives
a SPAMadillo!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1584.
Blue-hair eating SPAM.
Retired; limited income.
Alpo costs too much.

--Mike McGaff

1585.
Blue rounded corners;
Aluminum protection.
A slogan: "Safe Meat."

--Mike McGaff

1586.
Jay Hormel: Madman.
"I'll conquer the world with pork!"
Bow low to him now!

--Mike McGaff

1587.
All eyes cast downward.
Jay astride SPAM chariot.
Porkus Maximus.

--Mike McGaff

1588.
HAM-Fighters rebel.
Flashing blue tins defeat them.
A SPAM warrior.

--Mike McGaff

1589.
Now, the SPAMic peace.
Tasty treats for multitudes.
SPAM infinitum!

--Mike McGaff

1590.
Huns and Visigoths,
Wielding sharp can openers,
Spill the gel of SPAM.

--Mike McGaff

1591.
Little eyes grow wide
Father carves the Christmas SPAM
Joyful Yuletide feast!

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1592.
Bring us jellied SPAM
Instead of figgy pudding
And bring it right now.

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1593.
Jolly old St. Nick
Shakes like bowl o' SPAM jelly
Christmas by Hormel

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1594.
Some walnuts, a pear,
Single serving can of SPAM.
Lousy stocking gifts.

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1595.
Not Italian
Uniquely American:
SPAM chunks on pizza.

--Anonymous

1596.
Salsa, chips, and SPAM
Is not a Mexican meal;
It's only a snack.

--Anonymous

1597.
Piggy Rush Limbaugh
Watch that porker every night
Tune in to C-SPAM

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1598.
Great statue of SPAM
Came to life leaving the can
To poop on pigeons.

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1599.
Hot pink puréed pork
Hunka hunka burning SPAM
Set my soul on fire.

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1600.
Daredevil young SPAM
Cannoned across the canyon
Pink painted desert

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com