SPAM Haiku 15401-15500

Move backwards to Numbers 15301-15400.

15401.
Pigs and the public
Eat anything big business
Puts into their troughs.

--Milford Pigboy

15402.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAMminy SPAMmy SPAM
(sigh) SPAM's my mammy

--roll, kaiseroll@hootmail.com

15403.
Charlton Heston runs
through the grimy future streets:
"SPAM's made from PEOPLE!!!"

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15404.
I have no surfboard.
If I did I'd wax it with
a fatty SPAM slab!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15405.
SPAM blocks strapped to feet,
I glide smoothly...gracefully...
down hot asphalt roads.

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15406.
Kitty eyes the SPAM,
swats it hard with great distaste.
The meat is unharmed.

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15407.
Trip to Hawaii:
oceans, volcanoes, people
who love eating SPAM!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15408.
Lid; jelly removed
It is sliced: no going back
Eaten: GOD is good

--Frank DiSalle, fdisalle@hotmail.com

15409.
my dog smells the plate
waste no possessions with use
recycle the can

--askositsky@home.com

15410.
There are things in this
World of which there should not be
SPAM is one of them

--Astro Zombie, astrozombie73@yahoo.com

15411.
Curse you damned Hormel
Except for your chili, Die!
Damn you all to hell

--Astro Zombie, astrozombie73@yahoo.com

15412.
This mortal coil is
So very perverse. I scream:
Do I have to eat?

--Astro Zombie, astrozombie73@yahoo.com

15413.
Perhaps I should not
Give in to this fear I have
Of pig snouts and butts

--Astro Zombie, astrozombie73@yahoo.com

15414.
"Hey wait," my wife says.
"Don't feed our daughter that stuff!"
"Carcinogenic!"

--Reed Monroe

15415.
Smarcinogenic.
I've been eating it for years,
and I'm fine. I think.

--Reed Monroe

15416.
Could I have cancer?
Does my SPAM have me pinned down?
Time to call "onco!"

--Reed Monroe

15417.
Polyurethane
multiple marbled SPAM slabs:
new kitchen counter!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15418.
Trailer park woman
cooking supper for her brood.
Voila! SPAM au Vin!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15419.
The pig writes his will:
"A proud organ donor, I
won't appear in SPAM."

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15420.
Famous scientist
connects electrodes to SPAM.
Signs of quasi-life!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15421.
Iron Chef Pork-san
meets challenger Hans Hormel:
New York Battle SPAM!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15422.
eggs over easy
top the thin-sliced rewarmed SPAM
morning nose candy

--Anonymous

15423.
Primeval pig parts
locked in an Arctic glacier.
Prehistoric SPAM?

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15424.
"SPAM Wars" Pork Vader
to son Stywalker: "May the
Porcine be with you!".

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15425.
Stench arising from
Monster pig farms offends nose,
Causes depression.

--Milford Pigboy

15426.
SPAM slices on grill,
Parades and firework displays:
Patriotic Fourth.

--Milford Pigboy

15427.
The years of torment,
the veganism and purge;
given up for SPAM.

--Neonvenus, neonvenus@yahoo.com

15428.
Boyfriend sings "Gettin'
SPAMimental Over You?"
Better dump him, NOW.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15429.
A haiku of fall:
SPAM doesn't "porqua," it "splat"s
Onto the floor. Ewwwwww.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15430.
"The winter boys freeze
in their SPAM tins": Dolby sings
Of a pork navy?

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15431.
"A girl comes along,
Opens your heart like SPAM tin:"
Dolby, bard of SPAM.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15432.
You're wrong. SPAM isn't
Jimmy Hoffa. It's just the
kids on milk cartons.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15433.
Fat levels? Quite high.
Other contents? Who can say?
What is it? Just SPAM.

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15434.
Help! This ring is stuck!
Rub the ailing finger with
SPAM. Ahh! Free at last!

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15435.
Brown paper napkin
leaches greasy nutrients
from my sweet SPAM lunch.

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15436.
Microsoft split in
Two; Bill Gates forced to live on
Fried SPAM for breakfast.

--Milford Pigboy

15437.
H. P. Lovecraft wrote
about an ancient evil
SPAMthulhu awaits

--Chuck Beard

15438.
we used SPAM to thwart
an unspeakable evil
quoth the horror: "GROSS!!"

--Chuck Beard

15439.
Not a lubricant,
since SPAM is rectangular.
So try Hormel franks.

--Jim Magin, wellfm@aol.com

15440.
'Lone on desert isle
With pooch and a can of SPAM.
Sorry dear old pal.

--tex

15441.
Secret to shiny
And beautiful hair: shampoo,
Rinse, SPAM, rinse. Repeat.

--tex

15442.
Tricky, tricky SPAM
What lurks beneath your jelly
Coating? Pure evil.

--tex

15443.
Multipurpose SPAM,
You're both my nourishment and
Enema Treatment.

--tex

15444.
What does not kill you
Makes you stronger; so true with
SPAM...but wish you died.

--tex

15445.
Customs Inspection...
Nervousness, tension. Dear God
No cavity search!

--tex

15446.
Slowly you reveal--
Glistening. Sweaty. Pink flesh.
SPAM, you're such a slut.

--tex

15447.
Gelid and solid
Surrendering to the knife
Martyred for mankind

--P Turner

15448.
Dead man walking. Stops.
Death chamber opens. He gasps.
SPAM by injection.

--tex

15449.
Three hundred joules. Clear.
Flatline. Again. Clear. No good.
Call it. -- SPAM e.r.

--tex

15450.
Momma, what's wrong. -- Your
Father's been cheating on me.
Pink underwear stains.

--tex

15451.
Marge, your skin always
Looks supple. What's your secret?
-- Why SPAM...twice-a-day.

--tex

15452.
"It puts jelly on
its skin..." Captive pleads and weeps.
-- Silence of the SPAM.

--tex

15453.
Porcine lovers squeal
As they're taken to slaughter,
"'Til we meet again."

--tex

15454.
The accusing stares.
And the smell. I check my soles.
I did step in SPAM.

--tex

15455.
Karma, Dogma, SPAM:
One spirit, one truth, one lunch.
Couldn't be better!!!

--Non_Thinker, Total_Loser@boneyard.com

15456.
Here at the Boneyard
We speak of troughs and slurping
How appropriate

--Non_Thinker, Total_Loser@boneyard.com

15457.
Depravity reigns
EmploymentEthic a joke
SPAM must redeem us!!!

--Non_Thinker, Total_Loser@boneyard.com

15458.
I search for meaning
I find no answers today
SPAM-i-cide future.

--Non_Thinker, Total_Loser@boneyard.com

15459.
Guitar and banjo:
Sounds made are so much sweeter
than PLOP'ing of SPAM.

--Floater, Killing_Time@TheBoneyard.com

15460.
We all want something.
"Give Me Beer" some say in jest.
I'm serious: SPAM!!!

--Mr. Somber, Dead_Serious@NoLaughingMatter.com

15461.
We speak of dying
But pigs in a can know true
Immortality!!

--The Philosopher, Dead_Serious@NoLaughingMatter.com

15462.
We shout to our gods,
"Give Me Liberty or SPAM"
It is the same thing.

--The Philosopher, Dead_Serious@NoLaughingMatter.com

15463.
In all school shootings
main cause is lack of any
true SPAM discipline.

--The Philosopher, Dead_Serious@NoLaughingMatter.com

15464.
Pink, White, and Blue Flag
How appropriate it is
Revolution now!!!

--Tim the Revolutionary, UpTheRev@freedom.com

15465.
SPAM in PVC
Stuffed tightly with gasoline
Ignite SPAMCannon

--Matt the Revolutionary, UpTheRev@freedom.com

15466.
Mental Dissonance
I decry lack of ethics
While spewing SPAMKU

--Tim the Revolutionary, UpTheRev@freedom.com

15467.
SPAM Saves!! Not really.
Heretical foolishness.
Religious nonsense.

--Preacher Boy, NonFoodForThought@freedom.com

15468.
I took that First Step.
Denial of SPAM no more.
SPAM-A-Holics A.

--Cleopatra, Queen_Of_Denial@freedom.com

15469.
George Bush and Al Gore:
Intelligence same as SPAM.
H. Browne Two Thousand

--Matt, Stumping@Libertarian.com

15470.
Bad thoughts of contents.
Stomach heaves. SPAM on my mind
So make mine soylent.

--BoneHead, Big_Eater@Gourmand.com

15471.
Grov'lin' in Gravy,
Smothered in SPAM. Oh Yes Ma'am!!
Like Sweetest Candy!!

--Big Ladle, GravySuckingPig@TheBoneyard.com

15472.
Life is Sweet and Good.
SPAM: like the dictionary.
Everything is there.

--Big Ladle, GravySuckingPig@TheBoneyard.com

15473.
"...they'll never take me
alive." Spy bites down on pink
cubes. Mouth foams. Gurgle.

--tex

15474.
carve it very thick
or slice SPAM-brick sliver thin
dimensions of SPAM

--Jon Petrovski, jpetrovski@kc.rr.com

15475.
As the sea kiss shore
So do I kiss thee fully
Hedonistic meat

--NJB

15476.
Great SHAM is my fate
SEALED like a can of SPAM Lite
No flavor no key

--NJB, blair5912@cs.com

15477.
apply SPAM to hair
the texture drives the ladies
ever so crazy

--Leghumpjunkierobot

15478.
SPAM, Spawn of Satan
Herald of Armageddon
Beware of the SPAM

--David Graves, davidgraves@hotmail.com

15479.
Joe the pig was proud
He was both the football and
The halftime pink snack

--NJB, blair5912@cs.com

15480.
Shakespeare once said, "SPAM?
Thou eatest SPAM? Hell's fury
shall ravage thy ass!"

--Tabogany

15481.
I love that lifeguard.
She sits poolside, watching me...
She's eyeing my SPAM.

--Matty Fresh, MattyJ64@yahoo.com

15482.
Out of the blue can
And into the frying pan
Slides the soft pink chunk

--Jim Calandriello, jcalandriello@yahoo.com

15483.
I have lost the key
So I must now use pliers
To access the meat

--Jim Calandriello, jcalandriello@yahoo.com

15484.
Pink, meaty, goopy;
leaves toilet bowls all poopy.
The SPAM enema.

--Snoopy

15485.
five men, five women
all eyes watching...BigBrother?
Or just SPAM t.v.?

--tex

15486.
alone. empty street.
clutches purse. safety assured.
she is packing SPAM.

--tex

15487.
Cold SPAM on white bread
Mmmm, just like Mom used to make!
Pass the Fritos, please!

--Tim Begley, begley@oasis.novia.net

15488.
Salty body SPAM
Kickboxing with my tonsils
Swallowing hard now

--E

15489.
Silly SPAM woman,
Your goopy lips call to me.
I turn and throw up.

--Flappy Bumper

15490.
Death does deny life.
SPAM prolongs bowel movements.
Money is worthless.

--Chinese proverbs

15491.
Today, I'm workin'
Last night, one SPAM dinner left
My big butt burpin'

--Large Hairy Slurpy

15492.
Damn! That SPAM's got hair.
Last time, I found crushed bug brains.
Gotta love that SPAM!

--DJ Slut Pappy

15493.
I stuck SPAM inside
my ears last night. The gooey
slop makes great ear plugs!

--Gurusagi

15494.
SPAM, all titty pink,
leaves me moaning in a white,
vomit-stained t-shirt.

--Padugaga

15495.
My fingers fondle
the large slab of SPAM hanging
from my pimply ass!

--Butt Chin

15496.
SPAM in the morning!
Nothing softens a hard-on
like shitty, pink goo.

--Anthony Williams

15497.
HI! I've got the runs!
Slurping up more SPAM, I watch
poop fly from my buns.

--Anthony Williams

15498.
Simple, harmless dreams
Of porcine subconsciousness
Now inside blue can.

--Milford Pigboy

15499.
"SPAM is quite tasty!"
(pathological liar
to novice gourmet).

--Chris Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15500.
Gourmet lutefisk wrap
The choice of elite diners
SPAM gone forever!

--J Mortenson