SPAM Haiku 15301-15400

Move backwards to Numbers 15201-15300.


15301.
Mother-in-law hit
in the face with a SPAM-blob--
A costly revenge.
--wamwork@excite.com

15302.
Let us bury SPAM
Down at the dump in its can
While we gnaw carrots.

--wamwork@excite.com

15303.
It's Synthetic'ly
Produced Animal Matter--
A secret process

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15304.
Ersatz, a cipher
Any resemblance to meat
Coincidental

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15305.
SPAM really sux ass
I wonder who the fuck thought
Of this nasty shit

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15306.
la di da di da
dum dee da dee dum dum day
SPAM tastes like cow shit

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15307.
what the hell is SPAM
is it a solid, liquid?
never sure i am

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15308.
Who would eat hot dogs
At major league baseball games
If SPAM was sold, too?

--Ken, bo34@hotmail.com

15309.
John Rocker pitching.
I have no more batteries.
It's time to throw SPAM!

--Ken, bo34@hotmail.com

15310.
Conservators of
Lenin's corpse know their craft well;
Hormel, their mentors.

--Milford Pigboy

15311.
Ask not what Hormel
Puts in its SPAM; ask what YOU
Can do for Hormel.

--Milford Pigboy

15312.
Vietnam War was
Won by the side that possessed
The fewest SPAM cans.

--Milford Pigboy

15313.
Trailer park morning;
SPAM and hash browns sizzle in
Skillet; life is good.

--Milford Pigboy

15314.
Empty, like a shell
Hold the can up to your ear
You can hear the squeals

--james, simply james

15315.
North Carolina
Man charged with pig sex abuse;
Wham bam thank you SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15316.
A quiz: this food rhymes
with ham, gram, dam, jam, wigwam.
can you guess? I can.

--Merv Hart, merv@fortunecity.com

15317.
evil SPAM minions
carry out their master's schemes
to conquer the world

--Chuck Beard

15318.
freeze dried SPAM pouches
rejected by astronauts
unwanted space food

--Chuck Beard

15319.
Only in tabloids
Is truth reported about
SPAM ingredients.

--Milford Pigboy

15320.
powdered SPAM in milk
pink tasty nutritious treat
all the kids love it

--Chuck Beard

15321.
SPAM conspiracy:
Who shot JFK and why?
Only Hormel knows.

--Milford Pigboy

15322.
Watergate caused by
Clumsy attempt to plant SPAM
In Demo HQ.

--Milford Pigboy

15323.
Mariachis play.
Family gathers 'round pot
Of SPAM menudo.

--Milford Pigboy

15324.
Hot dry sunset gleams
Off pig manure lagoons; day
Ends for desert swine.

--Milford Pigboy

15325.
SPAM, my daily treat
fried in--OH! CALL 911!
CHEST HURTS!! LEFT ARM TOO!!

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15326.
The genius that was
China invented many
Wonders; but not SPAM.

--Mao Zedong

15327.
Change, a certainty;
Pig to SPAM: miraculous
Transfiguration.

--Thomas Aquinas

15328.
On Navajo Res.,
Mutton stew gross and greasy;
Ask for SPAM instead.

--Charlotte Yazzie

15329.
Japanese never
Understood Navajo Code
Talkers; SPAM they ate.

--Charlotte Yazzie

15330.
Pork product ligands
Coordination metals
Null Dentate Theory

--George Nilsen, gnilsen_006@yahoo.com

15331.
What is in that can
Is it beef,chicken, or pork
Serve red or white wine

--Pawp 2000

15332.
Cow, chicken, pig, lamb;
The one that wallows in mud
Is the choice for SPAM!

--Anonymous

15333.
Slaughtered pig pieces
Stuffed into a blue tin can.
Anyone for SPAM?

--Anonymous

15334.
Went to Mexico,
Caught Montezuma's Revenge.
Or was it the SPAM...?

--Anonymous

15335.
Who, in sanity
Writes haiku to SPAM, but won't
Plead insanity

--Rebecca, queenbeci@supanet.com

15336.
post-party cleaning
a forest of bright toothpicks
rises from SPAM cubes

--Will Jefcoat

15337.
Little Piggies mourn
He will never return home
Their son, is now SPAM

--Sarah, BonosLover@aol.com

15338.
Bloated Guam street 'ho's
SPAM sweat beads form during sex
Labial juice drips

--former inhabitant of Guam (and not a ho), n2xyinva@aol.com

15339.
Climbing Everest
Anticipating peak meal
Backpack full of SPAM

--Aviva Rothschild, aviva@emperative.com

15340.
NAFTA benefit
Give SPAM to the Eskimos
Get back SPAMcicles

--Mark Propp, propp@emperative.com

15341.
Seuss variations:
SPAM I Am, Green Eggs and SPAM.
Classics? Unlikely.

--Aviva Rothschild, Aviva@rationalmagic.com

15342.
Storming the heavens
Your taste rises like a hawk
Into the pink sky

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15343.
Noble as a chimp
You squat with nobility
And jiggle with pride

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15344.
Penetrating taste
Sealing itself in my gums
For eternity

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15345.
Noble pork soldier,
I love the smell of salty
pork in the morning.

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15346.
SPAM really tastes good
And by golly that scares me
What the heck is it?

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15347.
Pig meets a blender
Rots under sun for five days
That's how you get SPAM

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15348.
Oh to have no tongue
And then eat SPAM undisturbed
Then I could live cheap

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15349.
I must eat more SPAM
If I die recycle me
I would make good SPAM

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15350.
With fixed proportions,
Subtract pig and pork supplies
To get SPAM demand.

--An economics student channeling Milton Friedman

15351.
lump of pink pleasure
calling uncontrollably
so hard to resist

--Kenyon Hurt, khurt@kozmo.com

15352.
Pink and alluring
The color of underwear
Worn by Thai call girls.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15353.
Ozymandias,
King of Kings, ate SPAM. Empire
sacked--no big surprise.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15354.
Gollum at Mt. Doom
Bites Frodo's finger off, shrieks
"Better this than SPAM!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15355.
dad lost his Via-
gra, tried to "use" SPAM later
10 years in prison

--The Manticore (AKA Vile Lad), psd@mail.denali.k12.ak.us

15356.
SPAM is a product
best used in bad sci-fi flicks:
"Soylent Pink is PIGS!!!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15357.
Shred the SPAM real small
Mix in the egg then scramble
You have SPAM omelette

--Mellielou

15358.
SPAM Lite is yucky
Original is the way
Compare them--you'll see

--Mellielou

15359.
Bill, what have you done?
Like SPAM spilling from the can,
on Monika's dress!

--The Subhuman, Subhuman@moonman.com

15360.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, eggs
bacon and SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM

--Dave, zapata@lanarchy.com

15361.
They say walls have ears,
and so, you will find, does SPAM,
and bollocks, and brains.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15362.
Pigs on slotted floors,
Workers in their cubicles:
Everything in place.

--Milford Pigboy

15363.
Because it's liquid
Piggery waste! That is why
It is dark water.

--Milford Pigboy

15364.
Pigs stink but so would
People if they were confined
On a slotted floor.

--Milford Pigboy

15365.
Hog urine, feces
In anaerobic lagoons
Ferment in the heat.

--Milford Pigboy

15366.
Survivor's choices:
Fresh roast rat or SPAM sandwich
"I'd rather starve, thanks."

--Aviva Rothschild, Aviva@rationalmagic.com

15367.
Lear flies into rage
When daughters forbid SPAM and
Scream "Out, vile jelly!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15368.
Saddam and Adolf
To my knowledge, ne'er ate SPAM
What does that tell you?

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15369.
SPAM is the first step
Down the long dreary road to
World of Soylent Green.

--Milford Pigboy

15370.
Animal-rights nuts
Want to take away my SPAM:
From cold, dead fingers!

--Milford Pigboy

15371.
Elian has left:
Of all things American,
He will miss SPAM most.

--Milford Pigboy

15372.
I like SPAM and eggs
I would eat green eggs and SPAM
I can't find green eggs

--Joe Sparkes, jsparkey@aol.com

15373.
My SPAM sits there, stares
up at me, I leave it for
the bacteria.

--Robin, R_2000girl@hotmail.com

15374.
jellied accident
compressed pink cube in a can
whose idea was this?

--Chuck Beard

15375.
SPAM, my tender love,
Flavor of moist meaty death,
I pledge devotion.

--Ishtar, Shannon_SFF@email.msn.com

15376.
Memories of SPAM,
Your flavor lingers for me,
Belch to taste again.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15377.
I didst never eat
This thing of which thou speaketh
And now never shall

--Jerry Stone, jstone@ismi.net

15378.
Hello, small pink friend.
I have known you for decades.
I look but can't eat.

--Edward S. White, ewhite37@hotmail.com

15379.
Pink, white, yellow, clear.
I think I know the pink one.
Slice of what, I ask?

--Edward S. White, ewhite37@hotmail.com

15380.
AHHHH the atmosphere!
Strange in texture and odor.
Just like rotten SPAM.

--Brian DeLorenzo, bdelorenzo@hotmail.com

15381.
Two SPAM cans drive by
Each other on the freeway--
Relativity!!!

--Albert Einstein, truegenius@iq.com

15382.
If I put a slice
Of SPAM down my underpants,
It would be slimy.

--Tickle Me Pink

15383.
SPAM...pink greasy sheen,
You particle board of meat,
Scrumptious snout of sow.

--SPAMster, saewookkang@hotmail.com

15384.
Evil shining gel
imprisons the mighty meat.
It trembles. Uncaged!

--Erik Perkins, web@libertygraphicstshirts.com

15385.
Tofurkey? No chance
when muse demands a carving.
Rise, Spurkey revealed.

--Erik Perkins, web@libertygraphicstshirts.com

15386.
SPAM Haiku Archive
I discovered you today
Why do you exist

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15387.
Want to make some SPAM?
Put a pig in a blender,
add clear goo and serve.

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15388.
SPAM in bunker: food
When jack-booted thugs come in
Black helicopters.

--Milford Pigboy

15389.
Oh luscious pork pie
Sitting in clear Jell-O. Dream!
Wake up to mere ham.

--Tom Moreland, tmorelan@lfucg.com

15390.
I slide my knife through.
The SPAM on my plate reminds
me of meat Jell-O.

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15391.
empty can oozing
thrown to the foot of the bed
a night of SPAM sex

--Christian "Silly Underpants" Davis, WhiteHulls@aol.com

15392.
Pressed composite meat
Extruded into blue can:
Industrial food.

--Milford Pigboy

15393.
Noah said, "Hurry!
Here comes the big flood!" But it
Was a meat grinder.

--Al Carbonara, twomelvs@pacbell.net

15394.
Pity the workers
On stun line who look into
Piggies' sad brown eyes.

--Milford Pigboy

15395.
Do pigs have souls? Or
Is their immortal essence
Sealed in the SPAM cans?

--Milford Pigboy

15396.
SPAM, is ham, or not?
I seek to know this answer.
I will eat, then think.

--Beau Williams, gobeaugo@prodigy.net

15397.
SPAM is a fake food
Who knows what goes into it
But it tastes so good

--SPAM, John

15398.
SPAM has bits of white
Placed in it by Hormel foods
They make many sick

--SPAM, John

15399.
Once I ate a tin
of SPAM, so pink and lovely
Jimmy Hoffa, found

--Anonymous

15400.
George Gershwin and SPAM
An aural cacophony
Rhapsody in pink

--LeaH


Move forwards to Numbers 15401-15500.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.