SPAM Haiku 18101-18200

Move backwards to Numbers 18001-18100.

18101.
A new wave of crime
SPAM knock-offs hit local stores
It cannot get worse

--Wild T.

18102.
Thunder in distance.
Lovers in rose-scented bed.
SPAM in underwear.

--kinky kouple

18103.
SPAM The Musical
Soon to hit the Broadway Stage
Get your tickets now!

--Wild T.

18104.
Japanese kanji--
Sue now knows two thousand words.
"SPAM" has many strokes.

--Amiko Miyagi

18105.
You constipated?
Are you about to explode?
Stop eating the SPAM.

--K. L. (GI doc in Denver)

18106.
Where hides one his SPAM?
Perhaps up in the attic.
Or behind hubcaps.

--A. J. Foyt

18107.
He drew attention
When to work he came that day:
Bow tie made of SPAM.

--man in grey flannel suit

18108.
"Could be toxic shock,"
Said the doctor to Ms. Byes.
"SPAM tampons? Unwise!"

--OB-GYN resident (UCLA Medical Center)

18109.
Ten angry crickets
Break the silence of the night.
Mice have found the SPAM.

--Jimmy

18110.
SPAM Museum's closed.
Hot summer death befalls the
Air conditioner.

--H. Potter

18111.
Pa laughed, but Ma cried.
Her SPAM casserole was bad.
Ma killed Pa with knife.

--Grandpa McCoy

18112.
Hailstones on the roof.
Such sound can be deafening.
SPAM digestion, too.

--Billy Carter (Plains, Georgia)

18113.
Cool, cold, rock-hard ice
Traps him inside the cabin.
He makes love to SPAM.

--Larry F. (Ohio)

18114.
Into the abyss
Drops from hand the can of SPAM.
Let's to Pizza Hut.

--Dave Thomas (Columbus, OH)

18115.
Eagle sees the trout--
So swoops down at speed of light...
Finds tin can of SPAM

--Alaska Native

18116.
One dark stormy night
Came pirates with ill intent--
To steal the Crown's SPAM

--Captain Bob of Barbados

18117.
air conditioning
in the office is broken
i glisten like SPAM

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

18118.
A can of SPAM is
A tranquillizing object.
Just don't open it.

--L. Wittgenstein

18119.
How would I take death--
Slowly or quickly? you ask.
I think I'd chose SPAM.

--J. Hendrix (London)

18120.
SPAM's great history
Runs between this book's covers.
Read--to the last word!

--R.A.D. (Seattle)

18121.
You failed the exam.
Guess you should forget law school
And start selling SPAM.

--Wally Bagehot

18122.
SPAM has eight letters:
S and P and A and M--
Plus G-O-O-D.

--Karen Twetko, SPAM's International Director of Marketing

18123.
Blood dripping like rain--
Something's terribly wrong here.
The SPAM wasn't cooked.

--Ed Eckerssen, FDA Inspector in Omaha

18124.
Let go of your stress--
With no clothes on, squat on SPAM.
You need do no more.

--Trixie Jones--I'm a stress counselor

18125.
There'd be much less pain--
And maybe no blood at all--
If our scabs were SPAM.

--Melvin Truppen, pre-med at U. of Kentucky

18126.
Why these haiku rules?
Dactylic hexameter
Might do SPAM some good.

--S. I. Hayakawa (California)

18127.
Old Armour Treet cans
in pantry: that's not SPAM, that's
Abomination!

--Milford Pigboy

18128.
heaven: miles of SPAM.
earth: gallons of milk--the cows
lounge & the barn burns.

--Jamie Fischer, "DREAM #362"

18129.
the blackbirds know how
to hold the SPAM in their wings,
not metal boxes.

--Jamie Fischer, "The BLACKBIRDS"

18130.
Ancient dowager--
her food storage has phony
SPAM. Death becomes her.

--Milford Pigboy

18131.
I don't understand
What they want with all the SPAM
I want some good meat

--giancarlo, gian22@aol.com

18132.
Dead hungry for SPAM
Give me something to eat now!
Don't give me mad cow!

--giancarlo galliani, gian22@aol.com

18133.
The world is welcome
here! Come, drink green punch, eat our
fine SPAM casseroles!

--Milford Pigboy

18134.
Olympic tourists:
SPAM is more precious than booze
in Salt Lake City.

--Milford Pigboy

18135.
Pay no attention
to SPAM behind the curtain;
We're just normal folk!

--Milford Pigboy

18136.
Brief erotica:
Lulu's loins longed for Larry's
Lubricious SPAM loaf.

--Bill C.

18137.
Condsider this, Sue:
SPAM can in hand worth more than
Two cans on the moon.

--A. Forrism

18138.
From monkeys to men?
Perhaps Darwin concluded
SPAM's the missing link.

--S. J. Gould

18139.
Sun heats the summer
And snow freezes the winter--
Yet he still eats SPAM.

--(name withheld)

18140.
SPAM microcosm:
Six microrganisms,
Slow, sad, s l i d i n g d e a t h.

--Mike Kondria

18141.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM STOP.

--Traffic Officer Mike McDaniels

18142.
Strong swift winds of SPAM
Covered Samoa one night.
All cats disappeared.

--S. Sutuipoposu

18143.
Cold wet crashing waves
Overturned the twice-doomed boat.
"Little SPAM" went down.

--diasbled Navy vet (Texas)

18144.
Dew on the lily.
Morning sun creeping upward.
FedEx bringing SPAM.

--Rudi Fenstermacher, Jr.

18145.
So quickly placed the
Anesthesiologist
SPAM o'er mouth and nose.

--Methanne Shell

18146.
Antu trapped the seal
In brave Eskimo fashion
And then named him "SPAM."

--Ishkuna Anuknaha

18147.
Push the envelope--
Push that large moist loaf of SPAM
Up your small dry butt.

--????

18148.
Out spread the blue lake
Just like our picnic blanket.
SPAM, some wine, and you.

--Romantic Guy

18149.
Newspaper SPAM cans
Appear on the shore, waiting
To take you away.

--John L.

18150.
Believe it or not--
I don't love you any more.
Give me back my SPAM.

--Kathy's clown

18151.
Volleyball players
Can spike the SPAM with gusto.
Do you have THAT gift?

--Coach Pat "Butch" Butcher

18152.
SPAM as breast implants?
Listen: that small inner voice
Is telling you "NO!"

--Tried it...hated it.

18153.
Poor little-liked SPAM.
Feels bad, smells bad, and tastes bad.
What does it sound like?

--Sue Kritchell, author of The SPAM-Free Cookbook

18154.
Colonel Mustard, in
The kitchen, and--sad to say--
With a can of SPAM.

--Inspector Clousseau

18155.
No bible today
Can tell either you or me
How SPAM came to be.

--Uwe Fingerhut out of Austria

18156.
Corn cobs and bottles,
Hot dogs, cucumbers, SPAM loaves
Make her think of him.

--SPAM Dreamin'

18157.
Cold snow melts my heart
Like how radiation melts
SPAM and your body.

--Dr. Oppenheimer

18158.
Olympic moments:
enjoy some gourmet fry sauce
on your SPAMburger.

--Milford Pigboy

18159.
Built around "Posh" SPAM,
Hormel's pop-rock singing group
Will not need spice, girls.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@shaw.ca

18160.
Oily porcine thing
Hungrily open with key
Spread to taste on tongue

--David Zaccour, dzaccour@houston.rr.com

18161.
Lillies float on pond
Daylight sinks into the night
Dead SPAM surfaces

--Anonymous

18162.
Pale moon shines in night
Critics chirp their SPAM-Ku song
Timely is dove now

--Anonymous

18163.
SPAM, have you missed me??
no SPAMKu penned recently.....
my love has not waned.

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18164.
Our status meeting
is two hours of flapping gums
and SPAM hitting fan.

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18165.
I haven't done much
in my "yob"...no answers found.
Am I in blue can??

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18166.
hunt pigs in Kali.
hills overrun with boars/sows.
SPAM knows no season.

--.45 Long Colt, kalifornia_pig_lover@the_boneyard.com

18167.
Mideast terrorists:
Get thee to a piggery!
Islam's no excuse.

--Milford Pigboy

18168.
Hot rice in nori
Shoyu SPAM is placed atop
One dollar fifteen

--SPAMalicious

18169.
Christmas hamper time
Oh no there's no SPAM in it
It was in the ad!

--tunitin, tunitin@hotmail.com

18170.
Twin trade towers fall
Bin Laden's butt tightens up
Can't blame this on SPAM

--nukethebastard

18171.
With boxes of SPAM
Rebuild the World Trade Center
For'er stand in peace

--Bill F., johnsmallberries1@yahoo.com

18172.
Terror in New York
They despise our lunch meat ways
SPAM stands proud and tall!

--Mike Newman

18173.
strange pinkish-green glow?
dinner guests departed home...
Luminous hair gel!!!!!

--night starvation

18174.
Bin Laden stock tip:
Buy Hormel! Soon to be lots
of soldiers in field.

--Milford Pigboy

18175.
Pink, with white pustules
A teen's acne at its worst
Or Hormel's children?

--screaming fist

18176.
Protein starved masses
There's a cure for hunger but
Can you stomach it?

--screaming fist

18177.
the war movie plays
brains, guts, horror, injury
my thoughts turn to SPAM

--Stevo

18178.
me resting on pink,
the soft porous pungent bed.
a bad SPAM nightmare.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18179.
to be or not to
be meat. that is the question
for all little SPAMs.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18180.
thousand years from now.
old remains and cans of SPAM.
what a legacy!

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18181.
four score and seven
years ago, our fathers gave
birth to porcine loaf.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18182.
Dining oddity
SPAM at the computer hutch
Dried disgarded spunk

--Tom Lilly

18183.
Hardly boneless, SPAM
is the skeleton of your
callow loneliness.

--Tom Lilly

18184.
Who's got the real meat?
Not you, SPAMku dilettantes.
Not you, my canned hams.

--Tom Lilly

18185.
Misfit factory,
whose swine lap at the trough that
poisons them... SPAMku.

--Tom Lilly

18186.
Cry vengence, cry SPAM
Cans litter Afghanistan
Now who lives in fear

--Wild T.

18187.
Fly pink, white, and blue
The United States of SPAM
Let your freak flag fly

--Wild T.

18188.
My stomach hurts bad
Could it be the lunch I had
SPAM with yogurt sauce

--rubba

18189.
Gene, Paul, Ace, Peter
The legendary group KISS
Really love their SPAM

--rubba

18190.
A whole lotta SPAM
Chilled SPAM and Led Zeppelin
Stairway to Heaven

--rubba

18191.
All we are sayin'
Is give SPAM lunch loaf a chance
I did and it sucks

--rubba

18192.
eat a hamburger
in twenty minutes, throw up
into blue can...SPAM!!

--rubba

18193.
I'm very confused
I know that SPAM SOUNDS like ham
What the hell is it?

--rubba

18194.
One time I ate SPAM
It went through me so fast that
I SPAMmed in my pants

--rubba

18195.
Large breasts made of SPAM
Lunch loaf naughty parts tingle
One big SPAM cream dream

--rubba

18196.
Once while eating SPAM
I pondered on the blue can
I then vomited

--rubba

18197.
Light danced on Mom's back
It shines of grease...pink, red spots
the true source of SPAM!

--rubba

18198.
I cannot stop this
My job is very boring
Why not write SPAMku?

--rubba

18199.
I am looking for
a seven syllable word
about freaky SPAM

--rubba

18200.
Why don't you just eat
A big plate of doggy poop
It would tase better

--rubba