SPAM Haiku 2201-2300

Move backwards to Numbers 2101-2200.

2201.
When is a SPAM not
A SPAM? When it is a "GLURG."
What? GLURG only knows!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2202.
SPAM maquette of "Kiss"
Gobbled by starving artist.
Rodin..."c'est la vie!"

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2203.
Future nourishment
after all plant life is gone,
"Pass the Soylent Pink."

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

2204.
O Terrible SPAM!
You're not a carcinogen.
You're cancer itself.

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

2205.
Nurtured by pink meat:
Frozen she's just not the same
(As limp, tepid SPAM)

--Anonymous

2206.
Schwarzschild shrinks his SPAM.
Implosion rocks lab canteen.
Pink holes suck cream pops.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2207.
Glurgle, glurgle mass-
Ive SPAM: how we wonder what
You am. Pink matter?

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2208.
The definition
Of Life: "One nice SPAM after
Another." (Hormel)

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2209.
Regurgitation
Of SPAM barred. Gert and Alice
Seek rose bush refuge.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2210.
Angelic fecal
Product. Heavenly crap. SPAM:
Eat with reverence.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2211.
Fifth "SPAM is Soylent
Green" joke spotted. We need a
moratorium.

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2212.
And do we really
need more jokes with the punchline
"Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM"?

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2213.
Take SPAM out of can--
Rub SPAM upon shag carpet--
Electricity!

--EWFinn@aol.com

2214.
Basinger and SPAM
scene from 9 1/2 Weeks:
nixed, too explicit.

--Brigham Bell

2215.
"You'll need arch support."
"I can't afford orthotics."
"I recommend SPAM."

--Brigham Bell

2216.
Ancient Egyptians,
modeling Great Pyramids,
hauling huge SPAM bricks.

--Brigham Bell

2217.
Avenging Isis,
jackal-headed Anubis
turned Nile into SPAM.

--Brigham Bell

2218.
Company layoffs.
Wishing to eat SPAM sandwich.
Can't tell which is worse.

--Anonymous

2219.
When changing diapers,
I think of smell of SPAM, not
just poopy diapers.

--Anonymous

2220.
Cherry blossom tree
Freckles sunlight which thaws SPAM:
Hearty noon-time meal!

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2221.
Flesh spat out in mill
Conveyor belt spawns new SPAM
Forced in can to thrill

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2222.
There are two things in
Life that taste like SPAM, and one
Is SPAM. (Zen Koan)

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2223.
lick this juicy meat
the salty sweet residue
will clog your colon

--Anonymous

2224.
you will eat my pig
eat him! he is processed meat
where is my finger?

--Anonymous

2225.
lovely SPAM, eat it
suck the juices, obey it
hail the porcine God!

--Anonymous

2226.
slurp the sweet membrane,
pray at your porcelain shrine
groan "constipation"!

--Anonymous

2227.
grind the slimy stuff
through needle or swizzle straw
suck it through your veins

--Anonymous

2228.
Sodium nitrate?
Let's throw caution to the wind!
Great SPAMBURGER taste!

--Holly Jenson hj@rosenet.net

2229.
I like eating SPAM.
Then again, I also like
sitting on the john.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2230.
Open up the can.
"Wow! Looks like brain surgery
I saw on TV."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2231.
Blizzard bearing down.
Supermarket shelves are stripped.
SPAM is left behind.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2232.
I woke up today
Nestled with a can of SPAM.
Oh, no! Not again!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2233.
In the checkout line
people snicker at my SPAM.
What's that all about?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2234.
Meditate on SPAM
Fundamental SPAM question:
What the hell is it?

--dwisely@msn.com

2235.
Sink wires in SPAM can
Weird chemicals interact
Makes good battery

--dwisely@msn.com

2236.
birth--suffering--death
zen master finds nirvana
denies himself SPAM

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2237.
saw my friend today
at the SPAM rehab clinic
he has "pink madness"

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2238.
foolish restaurant
offers SPAM--all you can eat
shut down by health board

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2239.
blue label reveals
expiration date of SPAM
who could live that long?

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2240.
pitiful effort
to revive Warwick's career--
SPAM infomercial

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2241.
an encoded file
in the SPAM directory
who knows what's in it

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2242.
Poor people complain
"SPAM tax unfair." And they're right.
Rich unaffected.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2243.
I used to smoke dope
but I was never so high
that SPAM looked tasty

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2244.
net-surfer nightmare
must use SPAMscape web-browser
pink text, pink backgrounds

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2245.
warrior proclaims
"today's a good day to die"
eats SPAM for breakfast

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2246.
never studied SPAM
inorganic chemistry
just isn't my field

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2247.
much like drug-dealers
Hormel executives don't
use their own product

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2248.
predicting his death
Jimi Hendrix drowns in puke
while writing "Pink Haze"

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2249.
lost my job today
got caught writing SPAM haiku
on company time

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2250.
Ate a can of SPAM
right before I went to bed.
Donner party dreams.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2251.
Spamson is alive
Delilah cuts off his pork
Spamson is now dead

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2252.
What does SPAM stand for?
Spoiled Pizza And Meat, maybe?
The eighth mystery!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2253.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM.
Or maybe SPAM is not SPAM!
You figure it out!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2254.
Is SPAM really pork?
Maybe it's elephant trunk!
This is a tough one!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2255.
SPAM is SPecial hAM.
I don't know what's so special!
Sometimes I wonder.

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2256.
When is SPAM not SPAM?
I ask myself this a lot!
Tell me the answer.

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2257.
The SPAM wakes up and...
The SPAM creeps out of its tin
Spooky stuff, ain't it!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2258.
Old SPAM of The Sea
Told me "Get netted," so I
Drowned the pink bastard.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2259.
Awoke to find I'd
Grown a SPAM upon my head.
It wants its own hat!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2260.
Beautiful pink flesh
FD&C Red Dye 2
Shiny pink cancer

--Mark Hilchey, hj@rosenet.net

2261.
SPAM, SPAM on his brain
Eats that stuff three squares a day
His brain is pink mush

--Mark Hilchey, hj@rosenet.net

2262.
Poor Scarlett's hunger
Went unappeased when Rhett said,
"I don't give a spam!"

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2263.
What was that pink stuff?
Tell me again; I have a
Short attention spam.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2264.
Dessert of the day:
Italian spamoni
With pistachios.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2265.
Hormel hires German
Chefs. Are they planning to make
A Black Forest SPAM?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2266.
A thick slice of SPAM
Inside a six-inch bun is
A sub-spamtial meal.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2267.
The only way to
Spam the generation gap
Is with spicy pork.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2268.
Where is my juicer?
I need a cool glass of SPAM
To drown my sorrows.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2269.
Insane about SPAM!
What is it that causes this
Spamdemonium?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2270.
Hickory smoked SPAM.
Hickory's been comatose
Since that fateful day.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2271.
Help me! Help me, please!
I can't seem to stop writing
All these SPAM haiku.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2272.
When I was a kid
Mom would make SPAM casserole.
Now she denies it.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2273.
Budget airplane ride.
"Coffee, tea, or SPAM?" she asks.
Shoulda took the train.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2274.
I ate at Lutece.
SPAM was on the bill of fare.
They're going downhill.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2275.
If you hear a guy
say, "I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM,"
beat him up for me!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2276.
My remote control
always stops on ads for SPAM.
It's driving me nuts.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2277.
Shoot a can of SPAM:
It flies back and to the left.
Oswald was alone.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2278.
Drop a can of SPAM
from Seattle's Space Needle.
It's fun! Just try it!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2279.
We make fun of SPAM,
but in fact it's pretty good.
OK, not really.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2280.
It burst into SPAM!
Oh, the humanity and
all the passengers!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2281.
Please allow me to
introduce myself: I'm a
can of gel and paste.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2282.
Enigma of SPAM.
Wherever you are standing
The smell follows you.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2283.
First find a wild SPAM.
Hold it, ask for three wishes.
It might be Irish!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2284.
Spock did not eat SPAM
He is logical; SPAM is
Made in factories

--Jack Leach

2285.
I lobbed a SPAM soft-
ball at Darryl Strawberry
SPAM does not have fans

--Jack Leach

2286.
Teacher talks at board
My SPAM sandwich is warm, flies
Circle, I learn math

--Jack Leach

2287.
The jelly jiggles
My dog licks his empty bowl
I slice SPAM thinly

--Jack Leach

2288.
I like SPAM sushi
It tastes better than raw fish
Canned meat is the best

--Lindy Shibata

2289.
Please can I have SPAM
I love it more than my life
I want to be SPAM

--Lindy Shibata

2290.
I love SPAM in June
SPAM is slimy and goes splat
SPAM flies through the sky

--Cameron Maddox

2291.
Jack likes SPAM and eggs
He chucks it at ball players
Makes a SPAM hogy

--Cameron Maddox

2292.
The SPAMs of wrath live
In the souls of migrant kids
Twenty SPAMs is one

--heather & carol

2293.
SPAM needs to be held
Give me SPAM or I shall die
Walking wombs of SPAM

--heather & carol

2294.
Because when a man
Has SPAM, he seeks no power,
Therefore he has SPAM

--heather & carol

2295.
We burn a hot SPAM
Here, it melts down like rubber
Burn, SPAM, at the stake

--heather & carol

2296.
SPAM and Velveeta
Like Fred and Ginger floating
Plumbs drop like phantoms

--Jack Leach

2297.
SPAM Patee flatee
on my platee. Gobble up
Pork crumbs and fat chunks.

--Jack Leach

2298.
SPAM jelly in my
Belly I feel so swelly
Dance with Gene Kelly

--Jack Leach

2299.
Claudia Schiffer
Eats SPAM with expensive spoons
SPAM like rock lizards

--Jack Leach

2300.
SPAM-Dog, they call me
I don't answer 'cause I'm not
SPAM's better than pot

--Jen Sethasang