SPAM Haiku 3301-3400

Move backwards to Numbers 3201-3300.

3301.
The school lunch ladies
used to say, "Just eat your SPAM
and shut the hell up!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3302.
Hey there little SPAM,
How we wonder what you am?
Dirty rotten swine.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3303.
SPAM Haiku Archive
Boss looks over my shoulder
Now I need a job!

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

3304.
taste of horseradish
complements and contrasts with
spam's heavy pinkness

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

3305.
scent of horseradish
blends subtly with eau du SPAM
like plaid and paisley!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

3306.
Pass this year's SPAM Dad.
Let deploy all flies and bugs:
Not their birthday too.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3307.
One looks at wet SPAMs.
One looks at politicians.
See how well they slide.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3308.
New York City sperm
Count blows away counts elsewhere...
Could it be the SPAM?

--Anonymous

3309.
i look at the spam
the spam looks right back at me
balance of power

--Chris Cieslak, ccieslak@uiuc.edu

3310.
pink square of noxious
pig flesh on the countertop.
i am quite nauseous.

--Chris Cieslak, ccieslak@uiuc.edu

3311.
the spam gets up and
says, "I am much more than just
SPiced hAM. i'm alive!"

--Chris Cieslak, ccieslak@uiuc.edu

3312.
SPAM, it's SPAM, it's in
My head (da da da da da)
Think it might be dead!

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3313.
What makes up with SPAM?
HAM + SPAGHETTI. Mm-mm!
It is all noodly!

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3314.
The future is bleak.
Overlord SPAM rules the world.
A white line nightmare.

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3315.
OH, GOD, NO! NO! NOOO!
SPAM has learned to use the 'net!
Surfing on SPAMNET!

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3316.
I've come to a point
Where I must ask myself this:
"Does SPAM rule my life?"

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3317.
In the old castle:
"King, the SPAM is revolting!"
"No suprise there, squire."

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3318.
I made SPAM haiku
Until I died. "Oh, God, what
did possess me to?"

--EL SUPREMO NUMBER ONE GUY, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

3319.
darth vader ate spam
it gave him really bad gas
his armor was fogged

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3320.
luke skywalker laughed
he could not stop doing it
his father got pissed

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3321.
darth took the spam can
and he launched it at young luke
it hit young luke's head

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3322.
now luke has a bump
it's as big as new jersey
now darth was laughing

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3323.
spam is the pillar
it keeps us all from dying
controls our short lives

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3324.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH...

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3325.
Coarse-grained hot dog cube
First cousin of bologna
No-crunch sausage block

--Cog, Cogito1271@aol.com

3326.
Armour in armor
Unlock your home with a key
Square metal turtle

--Cog, Cogito1271@aol.com

3327.
Oh give me a SPAM
That's honest and true. Square like
Me and thick like you.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3328.
Black cat drags about
his pink, purloined bite of SPAM
like an extra tongue.

--Meredith Merritt

3329.
Tabbies will titter
and grimalkins all guffaw!
should you offer SPAM.

--Meredith Merritt

3330.
Ruddy Somali
and Aby cats are vain, spurn
SPAM: their colors clash!

--Meredith Merritt

3331.
If we shred it small
with our tiny pointy claws
could we fool the fish?

--Meredith Merritt

3332.
E equals M C
squared. A tin of atomic
SPAM. Cold war lunch loaf.

--Anonymous

3333.
Friendly SPAM, down boy.
Don't bite me there SPAM, OW OW!
SPAM bit them both off.

--Mark Mashiotta

3334.
The cat in the box
is Schrödinger's, live or what.
It ate SPAM, it's not!

--Anonymous

3335.
Oh, what can ail thee,
Under-arms, alone, and pink-
Ly sweltering. SPAM!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3336.
Mathematicians can't
square the circle. However,
Hormel can cube pigs.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3337.
Minimum wage hike
proposed. Hormel protests, "Sales
of SPAM will plummet!"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3338.
Montana's Freemen
start to crack. Why? The only
food left now is SPAM.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3339.
Moo Shu SPAM. Nitrates
and MSG: Festival
of food additivies.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3340.
The Olympics have
no SPAM-eating contest. There
go my medal hopes.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3341.
Hillary follows
Jackie O. with an auction.
"How much for Bill's SPAM?"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3342.
Soviet conquest.
Americans force-fed SPAM.
Plot of film Pink Dawn.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3343.
Brando: "I coulda
worked for Hormel. I coulda
been a SPAM tender."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3344.
How do I love SPAM?
Let me count the ways: One...That's
about all of them.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3345.
SPAM, aerosol cheese
and Tang: a meal without a
morsel of real food.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3346.
Steaming, fetid SPAM.
The cockroaches scuttle by.
Life is a grease-trap.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3347.
Wall Street is nervous
About the Spamku Archive.
Will it beat the DOW?

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

3348.
Michelle ate some SPAM,
Uncle Jesse ate some SPAM,
Full House has been axed...

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3349.
if spam was a man,
it would have bad heart problems,
its breath would suck, too.

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3350.
cat searching for food
spam is frying on tin roof
cat stays far away

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3351.
spam in blender with
bananas and candy corn
makes spamana corn

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3352.
spam is in disk drive
i access its secret thoughts
it says: "moo, oink, baa..."

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad)

3353.
Nature's magnum op-
us, soft and pink. Spread, sculpt, love,
cherish--what else? SPAM!

--Anonymous

3354.
Al Pacino in
Cruising uses SPAM for...well...
better left unsaid.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3355.
SPAM in bird feeders
keeps the squirrels away, but
birds stay away, too.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3356.
Skeet shooting with SPAM.
A little more costly, but
look at that pink spray!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3357.
SPAM commercial: Two
Yugos pull up. "Pardon me.
Have you any SPAM?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3358.
Hippies used to cook
SPAM loaf with ganja in it.
It cures the munchies.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3359.
On the QE2
they do not serve any SPAM.
Now that's luxury.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3360.
Program Manager
has been replaced by the SPAM
button. Me no like.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3361.
SPAM commercial is
followed by Mercedes ad.
Someone's off-target.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3362.
Cannibalism
jokes are pretty easy to
make about this stuff.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3363.
Hormel "doesn't get
all this haiku business." Well,
we don't get their meat.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3364.
SPAM is not a food,
neither is it a drug, so
FDA, get lost!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3365.
Hormel's new product!
Lap-top "Spammuter" astounds
Bill Gates and Big Blue.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3366.
"The sedge has withered
From the lake and no birds sing."
Hormel Sub about!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3367.
Porcine mystery
A big carnivore's delight
Saves Post-War Europe

--kendall marie tait

3368.
Quick nurse, scalpel, pliers.
Old heart out. New SPAM in. Pat-
ient whines for ketchup.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3369.
Grizzled old tom naps
in the sun--flick! flick! his tail!
He must dream of SPAM.

--Meredith Merritt

3370.
"Did you eat lunchmeat?"
"I didn't expect a SPAM-
ish Inquisition."

--Not Graham Chapman, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3371.
Pink-clad men burst in:
"Nobody expects the SPAM-
ish Inquisition!"

--Not John Cleese, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3372.
The cardinal speaks:
"Surprise is our main weapon!
Surprise and pink gel!"

--Not Eric Idle, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3373.
"Our two weapons are
surprise and pink gel! And fear!
And added nitrates!"

--Not Michael Palin, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3374.
"Our diverse weapons
include... Oh, just get the SPAM
and start the torture."

--Not Terry Gilliam, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3375.
An aide hands a can
to the cardinal. "Fool! This
is Treet! It won't work!"

--Not Terry Jones, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3376.
U.N. Inspectors?
Spamalogical weapons?
Iraqi springtime!

--staylor@primenet.com

3377.
"Eat SPAM together
Eat SPAM in peace"--D. Bowman
Monolithic Tin

--s944455@admiral.umsl.edu

3378.
A girl came along
opened my heart like SPAM tin
blinded with science!

--s944455@admiral.umsl.edu

3379.
At the guillotine.
"Some SPAM Sire?" "Get lost chien!" "No
Need to lose your head!"

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3380.
"George. Where you gone, George?
I petted this pig. It's spammed
Good now. Come back, George."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3381.
Pinkish loaf quivers
awaiting its blue prison.
This was once a pig?

--MAM

3382.
New government plan--
SPAM instead of tax refunds!
The Capitol burns.

--MAM

3383.
At the SPAM machine
the pinkish loaves are spit out.
Go and do likewise.

--MAM

3384.
Must one eat SPAM to
know its supreme yumminess?
Hell no, man! Hell no!

--Anoymous

3385.
I've not eaten SPAM
in over fifteen weeks now.
Arteries clearing.

--Anoymous

3386.
If I were the SHAM
I would have to clone myself
to read all Spamku

--Anoymous

3387.
It was born in a
Slaughterhouse hurricane. SPAM.
It's a gas gas gas.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3388.
Kittens' first day out:
They encounter SPAM! One sniff,
all run back to Mom.

--Meredith Merritt

3389.
My cats play with SPAM,
never hockey pucks, at night--
Kinder to neighbors.

--Meredith Merritt

3390.
I sit in my class
I think of my can of SPAM
I run to the nurse

--Jacques Bouchard, Tamon@aol.com

3391.
What is it in SPAM
That's incredibly funny?
It's the condensed pork.

--Jacques Bouchard, Tamon@aol.com

3392.
SPAM: Love at first sight.
I loved you when first we kissed,
Then I tasted you.

--Jacques Bouchard, Tamon@aol.com

3393.
SPAM's so annoying.
If you think it's so funny,
You never ate it.

--Jacques Bouchard, Tamon@aol.com

3394.
SPAM fits inside me
Like a dildo it shakes me
My pussy goes wild!

--Anonymous

3395.
As I teeth on SPAM
The SPAM goes through my system
Soon I will puke lots

--Anonymous

3396.
SPAM is to food what
The Bridges of Madison
County is to books.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3397.
Nah, I take that back.
SPAM is more like something by
Bret Easton Ellis.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3398.
Just like Ellis's
American Psycho, SPAM
makes people feel sick.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3399.
Hitler's Luftwaffe
drops pink death on Guernica.
SPAMish Civil War.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3400.
It's a righteous SPAM.
Baby, can you dig your SPAM?
It's a righteous SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com