SPAM Haiku 3201-3300

Move backwards to Numbers 3101-3200.

3201.
Just before the raid
Israel warns Lebanon:
"We'll be dropping SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3202.
At the Hormel plant
"Take Your Daughter to Work Day"
was a dismal flop.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3203.
Parents tried their best,
but their daughters said, "No way!
SPAM makes me blow chunks!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3204.
Jackie O auction:
Japanese investor bids
big for her SPAM hat.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3205.
Hey, SHAM, when are you
gonna let us vote on the
next thousand haiku?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3206.
In Tom Clancy's book
"The Hunt For Pink October"
SPAM tries to defect.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3207.
Bob Dole, Bill Clinton.
Must we choose between these two?
Cast your vote for SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3208.
A cliche haiku:
"That's not SPAM; that is my wife!"
"Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3209.
If there is something
Elevating about SPAM
Hormel has done well

--Anonymous

3210.
Here a SPAM, there a
SPAM, everywhere a SPAM, SPAM.
OH NO, NOT AGAIN!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3211.
It's a SPAM nightmare:
Walking toward me and drooling...
The SPAMpire's Revenge

--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3212.
Another SPAM film:
The Night of the Living SPAM
Tasting is horror!

--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3213.
Best possible world:
Pink meat is tastiest meat.
Doctor Spamgloss gags.

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3214.
Thumper pounds, man flees
Hissing grows in the desert
Spam-hulud rises

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3215.
Einstein: Universe
Isn't caused by random blasts.
"God does not eat SPAM!"

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3216.
For the sadomas-
ochist: knives hurt, but SPAM works
wonders for torture!

--Jason Young, ThePezBoy@aol.com

3217.
This dust was Marla.
By eating SPAM every day
she crumbled away.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3218.
SPAM packed tight in can.
Cruelty in extremis.
Call for free-range SPAM!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3219.
Good low-fat diet
will include veggies and beans.
And, of course, oatSPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3220.
She was Pleased with SPAM,
so she Asked for even More.
"But cut the mustard!"

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3221.
Polish furniture.
SPAM is rubbed on maple, ah!
Who needs mayonnaise?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3222.
The ACLU
will defend haiku website.
Amicus cum SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3223.
SPAM in labeled cans.
Regular, Lite, and Improved.
It's all in the PRINT.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3224.
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3225.
Fossilized beetle.
DNA immobilized.
Trapped in clear SPAMber.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3226.
Food fight with canned SPAM
There's not a piece left to eat
Everybody wins

--Burlington HS, draggin'gaggon

3227.
A trembling river.
Quivering lights of Hong Kong.
Me in my SPAMpan.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3228.
I pig out a lot.
When I go to Camelot,
I eat SPAMelot.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3229.
SPAM comes up on me.
SPAM and I do disagree.
I repeat myself.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3230.
His opus was "SPAM,
That Indispensable Food."
There lies his corpus.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3231.
There a wiggling worm
lying near that can of SPAM~.
No, only tilde.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3232.
A long time ago
Martin Luther banged his thumb.
Swung hammer--and SPAM!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3233.
President Clinton
only goes to McDonald's
in hopes they'll serve SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3234.
Dehydrated SPAM.
Born in a vacuum system.
Abhorred by Nature.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3235.
In small town of Burls,
who but George scares little girls?
That nasty young SPAMp!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3236.
"Take white wine away."
Never white with SPAM entrée.
Throw the look at them!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3237.
What are you strange quarks
doing in a can of SPAM?
You should know better.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3238.
One quantum of SPAM
makes you JUMP from here to there.
Energy compressed!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3239.
I have not the time
to explain this spam of time.
Please notice quick rhyme.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3240.
Who are you kidding?
Okay, WHOM are you kidding?
You really like SPAM?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3241.
Fido loves his SPAM.
His pals have never had it.
He has one leg up.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3242.
His pals don't like it.
Fido is faithful to SPAM.
TEMPER FIDELIS!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3243.
Yes, I get malaise
having SPAM with mayonnaise.
Even sans mayo.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3244.
Yes, I've heard of it.
It made all the front pages.
But Mad SPAM disease??

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3245.
This fine Macintosh,
with DRAM plus RAM and some ROM,
has three megs of SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3246.
My Muse doth abuse.
Wants a fine sonnet on SPAM.
I am who I am!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3247.
Read the lab report.
She died from her indulgence:
A slave unto SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3248.
Like her friend Lenore
she was dead at twenty-four.
SPAM showed her the door.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3249.
I use SPAM two ways:
In frying pan and in verse.
It's chic to pan SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3250.
For the latest news
and meaty bits of gossip
please turn on C-SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3251.
The hors d'ouevres were great
And the party was a gas
(due of course to SPAM).

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3252.
Does Hormel tell Swift?
Does Swift even care to know?
The answer is, No!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3253.
My Muse has found me.
"Only SPAM!" That's her command.
A rope to hang her!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3254.
Using S-x and SPAM
I could write a good haiku.
If I only knew!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3255.
Here is agenda.
"SPAM" is now on the table.
Convene the 'eeting.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3256.
Hormel purviews SPAM.
The strangest combination.
Elite peddles meat.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3257.
If you're good to me
I will give you some more SPAM.
See how good I am?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3258.
You take time to love.
You look longingly at SPAM.
Then you take it in.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3259.
She was exciting.
And the SPAM was inviting.
A great lust supper.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3260.
I don't see comet.
So, this dark and starless night,
I use my SPAM Lite.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3261.
Witness my despair.
For haiku I do not care.
"Publish or perish."

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3262.
The Church can relent.
You may have SPAM on Friday.
(Except during Lent.)

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3263.
Heavy box of SPAM
is evidence sufficient.
So I rest my case.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3264.
Turn on NPR.
Learned discussion of SPAM.
Not recommended.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3265.
Insight into SPAM,
to be quite re-alistic,
would be a hindsight.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3266.
A new restriction.
FDA promulgation:
All foods, drugs, SPAM-free.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3267.
Greasy mass of SPAM
Sitting on a timber log
Please bury it soon

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3268.
Massive SPAM attack
Have to get to toilet soon
Ruined the car seat

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3269.
Indigestible
Quavering in my belly
It surely is SPAM

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3270.
Home, sat on toilet
GOD! SPAM spraying everywhere
No use for it now

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3271.
Texaco is mad
Blew down the public restroom
Porcoline in ass

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3272.
Secretaries' and
Take Daughters to Work Days passed.
SPAM now tastes fishy.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3273.
The cat ate the SPAM.
It's in Stephan King's new book,
SPAM Cemetary.

--Janie Applecheeks

3274.
Where are the SPAM blues
R. Johnson, John Hooker wrote?
Guess they should be "pinks."

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3275.
That ain't mud in that
Minnesota Mississip',
Nor Lead in Belly.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3276.
"Pinks" should be sung with
Accompaniment of a
Greased harmonica.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3277.
My woman done gone
Left me with nuthin' but dis
Half-empty SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3278.
Yeah, my woman's gone
Left me with a picked-over,
six-month-old SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3279.
If I find dat gal,
Gonna shoot her 'n' bury
Her in a SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3280.
Can't you hear them now?
"The Wreck of the Hormel Freight"?
And "SPAMstack Lightnin'"?

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3281.
Darlin', you put your
Sugar in my tea, I'll slap
My SPAM on your plate.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3282.
"Weren't it sad when that
Great Loaf went down?" Hey, he was
Called Pink Anderson.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3283.
We go to Houghton,
Houghton is a lump of SPAM.
We love our SPAM home.

--mark_mashiotta@houghton.edu, diane_lewis@houghton.edu

3284.
Thinner ozone there.
Antarctica this weekend.
Get a good sunSPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3285.
vienna sausage
it tastes good with vegemite
but spam is better

--eric smythe (llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3286.
When sick I eat it
SPAM will take care of it all
SPAM makes me happy

--Mark Mashiotta

3287.
Jizzy SPAM is bad
His mom eats it for dinner
It makes her queezy

--Mark Mashiotta

3288.
dead man is at bar
he is offered deep fried spam
he would rather die

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3289.
i am a spam fan
we all shall die sometime soon
maybe in a can

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3290.
spam is on t.v.
it is all spam all day long
it has poor ratings

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3291.
"I am King Arthur
and this is my servant, SPAM."
"Pull the other one!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3292.
The Truth About Cats
and Dogs: It's simple. They were
all made into SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3293.
"Tastes like a SPAM but
smells like a sneaker." A failed
ad campaign idea.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3294.
Down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forrester invents
SPAM. It's DEEP HURTING!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3295.
Mitsubishi plant.
Female workers are urged to
wear SPAM bikinis.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3296.
Then dogs are brought in
to eat the bikinis off.
Someone call the cops!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3297.
OK, I will call
the cops, but first I must get
my Instamatic.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3298.
"Pizza! Pizza!" says
that Little Caesar's guy. Does
Hormel say, "SPAM! SPAM!"?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3299.
Fed SPAM to rhinos.
Then fed SPAM to pangolins.
Endangered species.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3300.
Tie me kangaroo
down, sport. OK, now I will
make SPAM outta him.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com