Move backwards to Numbers 3101-3200.
3201.
Just before the raid
Israel warns Lebanon:
"We'll be dropping SPAM."
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com3202.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
At the Hormel plant
"Take Your Daughter to Work Day"
was a dismal flop.
3203.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Parents tried their best,
but their daughters said, "No way!
SPAM makes me blow chunks!"
3204.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Jackie O auction:
Japanese investor bids
big for her SPAM hat.
3205.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Hey, SHAM, when are you
gonna let us vote on the
next thousand haiku?
3206.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
In Tom Clancy's book
"The Hunt For Pink October"
SPAM tries to defect.
3207.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Bob Dole, Bill Clinton.
Must we choose between these two?
Cast your vote for SPAM.
3208.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
A cliche haiku:
"That's not SPAM; that is my wife!"
"Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!"
3209.
--Anonymous
If there is something
Elevating about SPAM
Hormel has done well
3210.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
Here a SPAM, there a
SPAM, everywhere a SPAM, SPAM.
OH NO, NOT AGAIN!
3211.
--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net
It's a SPAM nightmare:
Walking toward me and drooling...
The SPAMpire's Revenge
3212.
--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net
Another SPAM film:
The Night of the Living SPAM
Tasting is horror!
3213.
--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com
Best possible world:
Pink meat is tastiest meat.
Doctor Spamgloss gags.
3214.
--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com
Thumper pounds, man flees
Hissing grows in the desert
Spam-hulud rises
3215.
--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com
Einstein: Universe
Isn't caused by random blasts.
"God does not eat SPAM!"
3216.
--Jason Young, ThePezBoy@aol.com
For the sadomas-
ochist: knives hurt, but SPAM works
wonders for torture!
3217.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
This dust was Marla.
By eating SPAM every day
she crumbled away.
3218.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
SPAM packed tight in can.
Cruelty in extremis.
Call for free-range SPAM!
3219.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Good low-fat diet
will include veggies and beans.
And, of course, oatSPAM.
3220.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
She was Pleased with SPAM,
so she Asked for even More.
"But cut the mustard!"
3221.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Polish furniture.
SPAM is rubbed on maple, ah!
Who needs mayonnaise?
3222.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
The ACLU
will defend haiku website.
Amicus cum SPAM.
3223.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
SPAM in labeled cans.
Regular, Lite, and Improved.
It's all in the PRINT.
3224.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.
3225.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Fossilized beetle.
DNA immobilized.
Trapped in clear SPAMber.
3226.
--Burlington HS, draggin'gaggon
Food fight with canned SPAM
There's not a piece left to eat
Everybody wins
3227.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
A trembling river.
Quivering lights of Hong Kong.
Me in my SPAMpan.
3228.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
I pig out a lot.
When I go to Camelot,
I eat SPAMelot.
3229.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
SPAM comes up on me.
SPAM and I do disagree.
I repeat myself.
3230.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
His opus was "SPAM,
That Indispensable Food."
There lies his corpus.
3231.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
There a wiggling worm
lying near that can of SPAM~.
No, only tilde.
3232.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
A long time ago
Martin Luther banged his thumb.
Swung hammer--and SPAM!
3233.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
President Clinton
only goes to McDonald's
in hopes they'll serve SPAM.
3234.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Dehydrated SPAM.
Born in a vacuum system.
Abhorred by Nature.
3235.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
In small town of Burls,
who but George scares little girls?
That nasty young SPAMp!
3236.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
"Take white wine away."
Never white with SPAM entrée.
Throw the look at them!
3237.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
What are you strange quarks
doing in a can of SPAM?
You should know better.
3238.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
One quantum of SPAM
makes you JUMP from here to there.
Energy compressed!
3239.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
I have not the time
to explain this spam of time.
Please notice quick rhyme.
3240.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Who are you kidding?
Okay, WHOM are you kidding?
You really like SPAM?
3241.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Fido loves his SPAM.
His pals have never had it.
He has one leg up.
3242.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
His pals don't like it.
Fido is faithful to SPAM.
TEMPER FIDELIS!
3243.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Yes, I get malaise
having SPAM with mayonnaise.
Even sans mayo.
3244.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Yes, I've heard of it.
It made all the front pages.
But Mad SPAM disease??
3245.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
This fine Macintosh,
with DRAM plus RAM and some ROM,
has three megs of SPAM.
3246.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
My Muse doth abuse.
Wants a fine sonnet on SPAM.
I am who I am!
3247.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Read the lab report.
She died from her indulgence:
A slave unto SPAM.
3248.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Like her friend Lenore
she was dead at twenty-four.
SPAM showed her the door.
3249.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
I use SPAM two ways:
In frying pan and in verse.
It's chic to pan SPAM.
3250.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
For the latest news
and meaty bits of gossip
please turn on C-SPAM.
3251.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
The hors d'ouevres were great
And the party was a gas
(due of course to SPAM).
3252.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Does Hormel tell Swift?
Does Swift even care to know?
The answer is, No!
3253.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
My Muse has found me.
"Only SPAM!" That's her command.
A rope to hang her!
3254.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Using S-x and SPAM
I could write a good haiku.
If I only knew!
3255.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Here is agenda.
"SPAM" is now on the table.
Convene the 'eeting.
3256.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Hormel purviews SPAM.
The strangest combination.
Elite peddles meat.
3257.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
If you're good to me
I will give you some more SPAM.
See how good I am?
3258.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
You take time to love.
You look longingly at SPAM.
Then you take it in.
3259.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
She was exciting.
And the SPAM was inviting.
A great lust supper.
3260.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
I don't see comet.
So, this dark and starless night,
I use my SPAM Lite.
3261.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Witness my despair.
For haiku I do not care.
"Publish or perish."
3262.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
The Church can relent.
You may have SPAM on Friday.
(Except during Lent.)
3263.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Heavy box of SPAM
is evidence sufficient.
So I rest my case.
3264.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Turn on NPR.
Learned discussion of SPAM.
Not recommended.
3265.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Insight into SPAM,
to be quite re-alistic,
would be a hindsight.
3266.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
A new restriction.
FDA promulgation:
All foods, drugs, SPAM-free.
3267.
--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com
Greasy mass of SPAM
Sitting on a timber log
Please bury it soon
3268.
--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com
Massive SPAM attack
Have to get to toilet soon
Ruined the car seat
3269.
--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com
Indigestible
Quavering in my belly
It surely is SPAM
3270.
--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com
Home, sat on toilet
GOD! SPAM spraying everywhere
No use for it now
3271.
--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com
Texaco is mad
Blew down the public restroom
Porcoline in ass
3272.
--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com
Secretaries' and
Take Daughters to Work Days passed.
SPAM now tastes fishy.
3273.
--Janie Applecheeks
The cat ate the SPAM.
It's in Stephan King's new book,
SPAM Cemetary.
3274.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
Where are the SPAM blues
R. Johnson, John Hooker wrote?
Guess they should be "pinks."
3275.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
That ain't mud in that
Minnesota Mississip',
Nor Lead in Belly.
3276.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
"Pinks" should be sung with
Accompaniment of a
Greased harmonica.
3277.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
My woman done gone
Left me with nuthin' but dis
Half-empty SPAM can.
3278.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
Yeah, my woman's gone
Left me with a picked-over,
six-month-old SPAM can.
3279.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
If I find dat gal,
Gonna shoot her 'n' bury
Her in a SPAM can.
3280.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
Can't you hear them now?
"The Wreck of the Hormel Freight"?
And "SPAMstack Lightnin'"?
3281.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
Darlin', you put your
Sugar in my tea, I'll slap
My SPAM on your plate.
3282.
--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com
"Weren't it sad when that
Great Loaf went down?" Hey, he was
Called Pink Anderson.
3283.
--mark_mashiotta@houghton.edu, diane_lewis@houghton.edu
We go to Houghton,
Houghton is a lump of SPAM.
We love our SPAM home.
3284.
--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu
Thinner ozone there.
Antarctica this weekend.
Get a good sunSPAM.
3285.
--eric smythe (llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com
vienna sausage
it tastes good with vegemite
but spam is better
3286.
--Mark Mashiotta
When sick I eat it
SPAM will take care of it all
SPAM makes me happy
3287.
--Mark Mashiotta
Jizzy SPAM is bad
His mom eats it for dinner
It makes her queezy
3288.
--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com
dead man is at bar
he is offered deep fried spam
he would rather die
3289.
--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com
i am a spam fan
we all shall die sometime soon
maybe in a can
3290.
--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com
spam is on t.v.
it is all spam all day long
it has poor ratings
3291.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
"I am King Arthur
and this is my servant, SPAM."
"Pull the other one!"
3292.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
The Truth About Cats
and Dogs: It's simple. They were
all made into SPAM.
3293.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
"Tastes like a SPAM but
smells like a sneaker." A failed
ad campaign idea.
3294.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forrester invents
SPAM. It's DEEP HURTING!
3295.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Mitsubishi plant.
Female workers are urged to
wear SPAM bikinis.
3296.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Then dogs are brought in
to eat the bikinis off.
Someone call the cops!
3297.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
OK, I will call
the cops, but first I must get
my Instamatic.
3298.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
"Pizza! Pizza!" says
that Little Caesar's guy. Does
Hormel say, "SPAM! SPAM!"?
3299.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Fed SPAM to rhinos.
Then fed SPAM to pangolins.
Endangered species.
3300.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
Tie me kangaroo
down, sport. OK, now I will
make SPAM outta him.