SPAM Haiku 3901-4000

Move backwards to Numbers 3801-3900.

3901.
Smooth slithering SPAM--
Valium of the masses.
Sounds Presidential.

--Duncan Halley

3902.
Porcine by-product
Gelatinous hunk o' love
I hunger for you

--Anonymous

3903.
Climbing Pen Y Fan
Swifts cutting through the sunlight
No SPAM in our bags

--Graham Hartill, 101703.102@compuserve.com

3904.
Hungry folks gather
"LET THEM EAT SPAM," cried the queen
Off with her head, sir!

--SEDRA

3905.
Salty ham in can
Processed, preserved, long shelf life
Eat at your own risk

--SEDRA

3906.
SPAM, eaten by both
Accountants and musicians,
Knows no boundaries.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3907.
Moon rises, white as
Two slices of bread. Sun sets,
Pink as SPAM within.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3908.
The President says,
"Yes, I tried some SPAM once. But--
I didn't swallow."

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3909.
I'm reading Spamku
Is this my life's destiny?
Someone save me, please

--Karen J. Young

3910.
melting watch, fish, SPAM
a surrealist haiku...
did Dali eat SPAM?

--giles metcalfe

3911.
if Marcel Duchamp
had exhibited SPAM: a
Dadaist concept...

--giles metcalfe

3912.
Andy Warhol sits
filming can for fifteen hours:
"Chelsea Girls eat SPAM"

--giles metcalfe

3913.
a Damien Hirst
classic--"tin of SPAM in tank
of formaldehyde"

--giles metcalfe

3914.
Hunter S. Thompson
authors Fear and Loathing on
the SPAM-paign Trail, ace...

--giles metcalfe

3915.
The Great SPAM Hunt, a
fantastic piece of Gonzo
Journalism. Indeed...

--giles metcalfe

3916.
Early yesterday
I discovered leftovers--
Fried (green) SPAM and eggs!

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3917.
SPAM: Dole's favorite
since his days in the army.
Now I understand!

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3918.
Dad and I, fishing.
"I love you, man." "Sorry, son,
You must still eat SPAM."

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3919.
Porcine snouts and hooves
Ground into a giggling cube
God! I love SPAM

--E. Frank Mendelson, efrank@dimensiondata.com

3920.
Sipping martinis
Staring at pre-eaten SPAM
Encore performance

--E. Frank Mendelson, efrank@dimensiondata.com

3921.
My stomach rumbles
Slowly I regurgitate
I ate too much SPAM

--Andrew Shannon

3922.
I love processed meats
SPAM is very good for me
I love tasty SPAM

--Adam Hartman and Andrew Shannon

3923.
SPAM in the morning
More SPAM in the afternoon
Gastric adventures

--E. Frank Mendelson, efrank@dimensiondata.com

3924.
Man wearing white shirt
Drops meat, causing greasy stain;
Cries, "Out, out, SPAM dot!"

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3925.
Cut the SPAM slowly
And thinly in a spiral--
How far will it reach?

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3926.
SPAM: the perfect food
For people who study Zen--
Meat, and yet not meat.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3927.
Star Kist has "dolphin
safe" tuna. With SPAM, Hormel
gives us "pig safe" pork.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3928.
"Snapple: Made with the
best stuff on earth." "SPAM: made with
the stuff left over."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3929.
Some misguided souls
have eaten SPAM. But no one
has digested it.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3930.
Hormel tanker truck
spills SPAM gel on the highway:
20-car pile-up.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3931.
Poke some holes in a
loaf. Voila! A Henry Moore
sculpture done in SPAM.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3932.
Note to Bob Roberds:
My haiku, number one twice.
Who kicks pink butt now?

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3933.
Wait just a minute.
My haiku, number one twice?
God, I need a life!

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3934.
Frying in the pan,
Memories of my dear Dad.
Saturday sandwich.

--Bill and Mary Lou Lewis

3935.
Blue and yellow can,
Object of my heart's desire.
I'll push the cart, Dear.

--Bill and Mary Lou Lewis

3936.
William F. Buckley,
Articulate connoisseur:
"Know SPAM, know the truth."

--Bill and Mary Lou Lewis

3937.
Dreams of SPAM at hand,
A kitten eyes my empty plate.
Too late, tuna breath.

--Bill and Mary Lou Lewis

3938.
O immortal SPAM
Morsel left inside the can
Regeneration

--Doug Kridler

3939.
Inside a SPAM can
What mystery unopened
Anticipation

--Doug Kridler

3940.
Disgusting lunch meat
Nasty odors come from IT
Hard to keep lunch down

--HunterNC@AOL.com

3941.
spam, how i love thee
let me count all of the ways
let's see, umm, zero

--james dannelly

3942.
SPAM cooks in fry pan.
Farmer says to upset pig,
"Relax, it's chicken."

--Farley B., jscb@uniserve.com

3943.
Have you eaten SPAM?
I ask, have you eaten SPAM?
Answer me, you Fool!

--Prince Mu-Chao, PrinceMuChao@POBoxes.com

3944.
A day in L.A.:
Hollywood producers say
"Let's do luncheon meat."

--giles metcalfe

3945.
SPAM-related film
classics: Can Who Fell to Earth,
SPAM Wars trilogy...

--giles metcalfe

3946.
...The SPAM-tese Fal-Can
A Nightmare on SPAM Street 2,
Naked Luncheon Meat...

--giles metcalfe

3947.
...Kurosawa's Can
SPAM Pekinpah's The Wild Bunch,
Raimi's Evil Dead...

--giles metcalfe

3948.
...SPAM-ghetti Westerns:
A Fistful of SPAM, and then
For a Few Cans More...

--giles metcalfe

3949.
...Robo Can, Woody
Allen's Canhattan, and Can-
nah and Her Sisters.

--giles metcalfe

3950.
This is a test of
the Hormel Emergency
Broadcast System: OOOIIIINNNNNKKKK!!!

--The SPAM Civil Defense Administration, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3951.
This was only a
test. We now return to the
haiku in progress.

--The SPAM Civil Defense Administration, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3952.
They always told me
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it
That applies to SPAM???

--Casey Gilbertson, casey@anv.net

3953.
Bums on the street would
surely stop begging if our
change were made of SPAM.

--Scott Buckner, dsisbuk@interaccess.com

3954.
If mountains were made
of SPAM, there would be a lot
more guys still alive.

--Scott Buckner, dsisbuk@interaccess.com

3955.
I've no coin to toss
into the well. Farewell, my
sacrificial SPAM.

--Scott Buckner, dsisbuk@interaccess.com

3956.
John Cho is away.
What the hell was he thinking?
We could all get lives?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3957.
John Cho is away.
No spamku can be posted.
It's not a big deal.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3958.
Where has John Cho gone?
Does he think of our spamku...
Circling the airport?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3959.
Cho on vacation.
Composed spamku drift about--
Hungry ghosts, haunting.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3960.
I am what I am
Alas, nothing but a SPAM
But this too shall pass

--Harvey Katowitz, harvey@cire.com

3961.
Hamburger Helper.
SPAM. Never seen together.
Call Oliver Stone.

--Scott Buckner, dsisbuk@interaccess.com

3962.
The porcine muse snorts:
"My meat tightly fills the can,
Your words don't...oink, oink."

--Philip West

3963.
Santa is Satan
redrum tastes just like murder
but SPAM is just SPAM

--Anonymous

3964.
SPAM accused of rape!
Forensic evidence found:
SPAMatozoa

--Casey Gilbertson, casey@anv.net

3965.
Heard Wolly Bully?
OK, then who sings the song?
It's Sam and the SPAMs

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

3966.
The courts prosecute
Man alters SPAM recipe
Verdict: SPAMotage

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

3967.
sdrawkcab MAPS lleps tsuj
SPAM slleps ti taht ees ll'uoy dna
?edoc terces taht si

--yesaC nostrebliG

3968.
82%?
OVER 82%!
Calories from fat

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

3969.
Eat a can of SPAM
Swallow down the entire loaf
Then I'll pinch a loaf

--Anonymous

3970.
Ancient garden light
Raked moist chunks of SPAM glitter
Buddha contemplates

--flind@u.washington.edu

3971.
SPAM in the first time
Inflation of chunky life
Multiply in cans

--flind@u.washington.edu

3972.
In the sky all fried
Upward object made of SPAM
Unidentified

--flind@u.washington.edu

3973.
Some place above me
Silently putrid and mixed
SPAM plays at madness

--flind@u.washington.edu

3974.
Soft smells greeting me
Animals frolick, birds sing
Forest made of SPAM

--flind@u.washington.edu

3975.
In pollutant bath
Factory sealed, endless pain
Spamzilla is born

--flind@u.washington.edu

3976.
7-11
Vomiting man trapped within
Walk tall Spamzilla

--flind@u.washington.edu

3977.
Factory ablaze
Product misuse warning signs
Spamzilla enraged

--flind@u.washington.edu

3978.
SPAM, deep-fried, battered,
Lurks in fetid, greasy pool.
School dinner nightmare!

--Sally-Anne Carver, scarver@wcnet.org

3979.
SPAM, gift of monarchs!
Well, inferior royals...
Not, Elizabeth.

--Sally-Anne Carver, scarver@wcnet.org

3980.
Homer S. on SPAM,
"Can't talk--eating pink rubber...
...Mmm...mmm...latex food."

--Sally-Anne Carver, scarver@wcnet.org

3981.
Rather addictive,
Composing the SPAM haiku,
But not eating it.

--Sally-Anne Carver, scarver@wcnet.org

3982.
As a poor young child,
My mother only made SPAM.
Don't make fun of it.

--Lynette Neal

3983.
My heart, still beating
All organs remain intact
Survived one more meal

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3984.
The same air that feeds
My lungs, the oak tree, carries
Mold spores to the SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3985.
Magnifying glass
Focuses the sun's rays, cooks
The SPAM, inch by inch.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3986.
The mugger says, "Stop!
Give me all your money! Now!"
And brandishes SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3987.
Voltaire reflected:
SPAM did not exist, so why
did man invent it?

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

3988.
Glistening gristle
Performs a slimy ballet,
Encore tomorrow.

--T.M. Smith

3989.
Hi there I am SPAM.
I am pink and real ugly.
Large amounts of fat.

--Anonymous

3990.
A chess set of SPAM
One piece breaks in half, becomes
A SPAM pawn not king

--Anonymous

3991.
A SPAM by firelight
Cooking slowly over wood
A bear is hungry

--Anonymous

3992.
Night-time SPAM poet
Sleeps on a mattress with sheet
Never would eat SPAM

--Anonymous

3993.
Bill Murray sells the
Pork-O-Matic--mmmm, that's good
pork! Puréed like SPAM.

--Damian Frank, damianf@specdreams.com

3994.
Deconstructed pork
Simulacrum of food that
Even Barthes would scorn

--Steven Swartz

3995.
Factory fresh meat
Inedible, pinkish corpse--
Hastens vomiting!

--H. Edwards, hedw@lle.rochester.edu

3996.
"If they have no bread
Then let them eat SPAM!" She lost
Her head soon after.

--Rebecca Lamkin

3997.
And yea, though I walk
Through the valley of pork food,
I shall fear no SPAM.

--Rebecca Lamkin

3998.
At last an outlet
For those without talent or
Vocabulary

--Anonymous

3999.
It's SPAM for dinner?
Quick! Anoint tongue and throat with
SPAMicidal gel.

--Dan, gillisd@direct.ca

4000.
What's going on here?
Is the SHAM on vacation?
Ack! Haiku withdrawal!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com