5101.
What's the difference
Between SPAM and a Middle
East peace treaty? None.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5102.
What's the difference
Between SPAM and food? A crazed
Imagination.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5103.
NO! Don't slam that SPAM
Get your RDA of grease
The best source of all
--Cholesterol 300
5104.
Well, I trust you all
Had a pleasant SPAMgiving,
And no leftovers.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5105.
Pilgrims at Plymouth:
Natives seek to drive them off.
Give them gift of SPAM.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5106.
Squanto, Indian;
Name sounds like digestive tract
Noise when you eat SPAM.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5107.
Superglutinous
Post-excretal Aberrant
Miniporcine. SPAM.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5108.
Ear, nose, and throat. Some
say, "Medical specialty."
Others say, "That's SPAM!"
--Joel Schwartz
5109.
All pink meat lovers
With too much time on their hands
Craft world made of SPAM
--Anonymous
5110.
Hormel drops SPAM cans
Over Bosnian surrounds
War intensifies
--Luke Ellis, Australia
5111.
In ancient war times
Besieged towns had no SPAM cans
"No SPAM? Down we go!"
--Luke Ellis, Australia
5112.
"Thou shalt not consume
SPAM, if thy liveth in peace!"
Said that wise Moses.
--Luke Ellis, Australia
5113.
Farmer's big error
Feeding rats in the barn SPAM
Not poison, rat chow
--Luke Ellis, Australia
5114.
Hormel thanks for SPAM
I eat it with cousin Sam
Sam's stomach goes bam!
--Rebecca Phipps and Kristin Baysek, dphipps@wave-net.net
5115.
Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn
Thanks so much for Hormel SPAM
I love you SPAM Man!
--Rebecca Phipps and Kristin Baysek, dphipps@wave-net.net
5116.
In Minnesota
Bells are tolling joyously.
SPAMs are canned today!
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5117.
tasteful & juicy
delightfulness of pork fat
hardens in my veins
--Gabriel
5118.
a single spoonful
breeds grease-laden fingertips
nevermore feel clean
--Gabriel
5119.
SPAM, you give me food
You give me strength in my mood
SPAM Man, you're a dude!
--Anonymous
5120.
"Who is SPAMIA?
What is she, that all our swine
Condemn her?" --Shakespeare
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5121.
The devil steers Cho
To a mile-high stack of SPAM.
"Start eating," he says.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5122.
New SPAM substitute:
Pink tofu! The slogan is
"Tastes great. Less killing."
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5123.
Forsaking the frog,
She kisses a can of SPAM.
Rush Limbaugh appears.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5124.
SPAM on railroad tracks
Diesels skidding into town
Squealing like stuck pigs
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5125.
Of course I love you!
That's why I'm giving you SPAM.
Happy Hanukkah.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5126.
The morning paper.
Headline: "Tiny Tim Is Dead."
A tear on my SPAM.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5127.
The party pooper
Quietly opens a can.
SPAM in the punch bowl.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5128.
Cold steel in a pig.
Clean up the blood, cook the flesh:
A pig in cold steel.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5129.
Sushi made with SPAM
Is like Madam Butterfly
Played by Madonna.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5130.
Law of Digestion
of SPAM: SPAM not absorbed, it
also isn't changed.
--Lady Lackoflife
5131.
Tinfoil wrapped around
empty blue tins, smeared with SPAM.
Doctor Who monster.
--Lady Lackoflife
5132.
Useful for simu-
lating a gory flesh wound
during Halloween.
--Lady Lackoflife
5133.
Count Spamula: sucks
cholesterol, sleeps in blue
tin, and never dies.
--Lady Lackoflife
5134.
To preserve something
valuable for eterni-
ty, coat with SPAM juice.
--Lady Lackoflife
5135.
Clouds of mayonnaise
Over broad pinkish prairies
Closed mouth brings dark night
--dayoung@flash.net
5136.
greasy palindromes
is SPAM good meat good SPAM is
dust to SPAM to dust
--jeff.cunningham@valley.net
5137.
SPAM, Spork, and Klik are
All I ever consume. See--
Worms will die with me.
--Anonymous
5138.
Here, WIRED, take this--have
a great big serving of SPAM
with all your cookies.
--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@mindspring.com
5139.
Have you seen my SPAM?
Answers to the name of Spot
And slides with a limp.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5140.
Lips, tits, and assholes
Compressed tightly in a can
Twist key, set it free
--Erik P. Kaeding, Attorney at Law
5141.
The watering hole.
Odd pink creature sips softly.
Spear in hand, I pounce.
--Drew Scott
5142.
From rooftops I cry:
"Come back, come back, strange meat thing."
Silence. I crumple.
--Drew Scott
5143.
I stare, it stares back.
I long to know its feelings.
It demurs. Lunch, then.
--Drew Scott
5144.
Set the can on fire.
It won't light. But when opened:
A hot, pink delight.
--Anonymous
5145.
31 flavors.
Please take a number and choose...
God! Orange SPAMbert!
--Anonymous
5146.
Must stop the craving--
12-step SPAM'holics anon.
One can at a time.
--Anonymous
5147.
"Honk if you love SPAM"
Bumper sticker on Yugo...
Moment of silence.
--Anonymous
5148.
It keeps going and
going. Drum-beating rabbit?
No, SPAMergizer!
--Lady Lackoflife
5149.
Wheezing sound. Blue tin
materializes. The
Doctor stares, aghast.
--Lady Lackoflife
5150.
They cried when I sat
Down to SPAM. Fat chords burst on
Ears like floating farts.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5151.
Beneath my pillow
Something gross, hard, and slimy--
The lurking SPAM can.
--Debra.Brunsberg@gatekeeper.co.hennepin.mn.us
5152.
Do you wonder if
removed malignant tumors
are shipped to Hormel?
--Anonymous
5153.
Can anyone doubt
that SPAM is natural food?
Better than oat bran!
--Anonymous
5154.
A short greasy trip
from the stable to table;
pulverized horses.
--Anonymous
5155.
Put SPAM in compost,
wait one year for end result;
same SPAM in next batch.
--Eric Johnson
5156.
Writing SPAM poems
Forgot to save, power fails
Many haiku lost
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5157.
Purchased SPAM garments
Wear my SPAM t-shirt with pride
Receive funny stares
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5158.
Mars rock crashed to Earth
Scientists gather data
SPAM trace detected
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5159.
Regard the SPAM can
The flawless exterior
And then, the contents
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5160.
I eat the SPAM meal
My stomach communicates
Ominous rumbles
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5161.
The can peels open
Idiosyncratic SPAM
It's bright magenta
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5162.
The SPAM can ruptures
Slushy pink spray issues forth
Open first, then cook!
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5163.
"Attention shoppers
Tasty SPAM now on special"
Store is deserted
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5164.
Electoral vow
"SPAM for each man, woman, child"
Not one vote received
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5165.
SPAM orbits the Earth
Thrusters fail, it drops to Earth
Citizens panic
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5166.
Facing the SPAM can
My pusillanimity
Forces my retreat
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5167.
Countless eons pass
Spaceship lands on long dead Earth
"Hey look GrxNok, SPAM!"
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5168.
A good thesaurus
Makes writing of SPAM haiku
Elementary
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5169.
In horror I watched
Brakes locked, the bus slewed sideways
Into the SPAM truck
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5170.
Eyes bright, happy kids
Rush to the tree Christmas morn,
Santa brought us SPAM!
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5171.
I stepped from shadows
Into the microwave glow
And watched SPAM rotate
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5172.
Listen up people
Now I know what SPAM stands for:
Special Parts And More
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5173.
I don't believe it
Just ate family sized can
And still I'm breathing
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5174.
With a mighty slap
SPAM ricochets off my head
Where did that come from?!?
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5175.
Walking down the street
I trod in a pile of SPAM
Pink mess stuck to shoe
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5176.
Bulletproof jacket
That's made entirely of SPAM
I'll use Kevlar, thanks
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5177.
A filling of SPAM
Between two layers of SPAM
A nice quick Spamwich
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5178.
"Take this SPAM" she said
'Twas a gift of love, no less
But like love, soon gone
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5179.
Time marches onwards
Continents spawned, nations born
SPAM remains constant
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5180.
Smelling the canned pork
I reminisced of the days
Of wonder and SPAM.
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5181.
The evils of SPAM
Manifested by delight
In opening cans
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5182.
The final frontier
Understanding the nature
Of the tinned meat, SPAM
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5183.
Saving for a year
Scrounging every bit I can
For SPAM jelly bath
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5184.
Imagine if you
Turned all the SPAM in the world
Into pigs again
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5185.
My thoughts flow freely
Images of SPAM drift past
My mind's inner eye
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5186.
"I think" the SPAM said
"You should reconsider this"
Ate it anyway
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5187.
"SPAM is really stuff"
Read that palindrome that read
"Stuff really is SPAM"
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5188.
"SPAM" the Vikings sang
As they cruised Nordic waters
And pillaged for SPAM
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5189.
Then the magician
Stepped back to reveal...nothing!
What happened to SPAM?
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5190.
Floating in lifeboat
Saw the dorsal fins approach
SPAM drove away sharks
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5191.
Warm it for an hour
Place in mouth, chew for a while
Then swallow wanly
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5192.
"Let's play SPAM tennis!"
I attempt a swift backhand
And spray the whole court
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5193.
Sucked into black hole
To other universe, SPAM
Startles aliens
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5194.
Neighbors thump the walls
Unhearing, I keep dancing
A wild SPAM party
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5195.
SPAM target practice
In my sights, I fire, I miss!
"You see that? It MOVED!"
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5196.
My list--things to do
Fix car, re-stump house, clean room,
Last, not least, EAT SPAM.
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5197.
Change SPAM for cat food
I wait for strange reaction
My guests keep eating
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5198.
Bizarre Texan cult
Lurks in desert hideaway
Eating only SPAM
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5199.
Victim cries for help
Pink shadow descends from sky
Hey, look! It's SPAM Man!
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5200.
SPAM in a thick sock
Swat your friends, they swing at you,
Many hours of fun
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au