5001.
Food innovation
Better living through science
SPAM is proof of that
--Cholesterol 300
5002.
Jealous bologna
Replaced by SPAM in cliché
"That's a bunch of SPAM"
--Cholesterol 300
5003.
Mighty Super Spam
faster through your intestine
than speeding bullets
--Cholesterol 300
5004.
SPAM, grease incarnate
Lube my life with pinkish fat
Slide to salvation
--Cholesterol 300
5005.
Wonder Bread, catsup
Velveeta, Miracle Whip
All are good with SPAM
--Cholesterol 300
5006.
Lead soldered tin can
Congealed grease spread all on top
SPAM: peerless health food
--Cholesterol 300
5007.
People's caviar
SPAM: monument to culture
Martha Stewart's dream
--Cholesterol 300
5008.
New! "As the SPAM Turns"
Soap opera 'bout pork meat
Rather than porking
--Cholesterol 300
5009.
SPAM: canned nirvana
Get high, smoke it in a bong
Soon to be outlawed
--Cholesterol 300
5010.
SPAM: God's gift of love
Low-rent communion wafer
Manna from Hormel
--Cholesterol 300
5011.
SPAM, not honey pot
Constipates Winnie the Pooh
Pooh Bear can't poo now
--Cholesterol 300
5012.
Hormel buys Zabar's.
Staff warned, "pink stuff or pink slip."
SPAM focaccia.
--Adam
5013.
Valley Girl tries SPAM.
"Like, ick!!! That is SO grody!
Gag me with a spoon!"
--Adam
5014.
It turns out Hormel
is a CIA plot to
destroy poor people.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
5015.
Fat globules melt off,
Un-meatly odor rises,
Fried SPAM for supper!
--b.morrison@sympatico.ca
5016.
SPAM! Glorious SPAM!
Without you I am nothing,
SPAM, my life, my love.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5017.
the wages of spam
is sharing a liquid laugh
with Armitage Shanks
--Tony Pearson, ytonyp@dkmm.co.uk
5018.
Coffeeshops seem hip.
Why can't SPAM be trendy, too?
Imagine "SPAMbucks."
--Drew Scott
5019.
Sleepy retailers!
The connection eludes you:
Book stores lack SPAM shops!
--Drew Scott
5020.
"Don't worry," said Mom
to her vegetarian
daughter. "SPAM's not meat..."
--Anonymous
5021.
Neil sure loves his SPAM
He licks the lining of tin
Now he is sterile
--David Barrison, scooby@pathcom.com
5022.
Moist fleshy pink meat
Mocked by many loved by few
Never mock the meat
--David Barrison, scooby@pathcom.com
5023.
Puréed feet of pig
Airplane barf bags afloating
I'm not cleaning it!
--Alexander Trauzzi, atrauzzi@cyberspc.mb.ca
5024.
A choice must be made.
What is SPAM? What is tofu?
SPAM haunts all my dreams.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5025.
Creator of SPAM,
Did he win a Nobel Prize?
Sentence him to death.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5026.
SPAM, taunt me no more!
For I must know what you are.
What part of the pig?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5027.
They say it is pork.
Or is it just parts of pig
we'd rather not know?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5028.
Don't open the can!
For a secret lies inside.
Pink glistening fat.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5029.
My first taste of SPAM.
I had once been a small child.
Now I am a man.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5030.
Now I am a man,
I must resist temptation.
SPAM will make me sick.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5031.
SPAM will make me sick,
Blowing of fatty pink chunks.
Recycle, again?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5032.
Recycle, again?
How many times, already?
Too many to care.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5033.
Can there really be
More than five thousand spamku
In one universe?
--Tony Pearson, ytonyp@dkmm.co.uk
5034.
Prehistoric clone
Spits acid gel at Newmann
It's Jurassic SPAM!
--jdonato@nimbus.ocis.temple.edu
5035.
Jeff Goldblum declares;
"That is one big pile of SPAM!"
Can't wait for sequel...
--jdonato@nimbus.ocis.temple.edu
5036.
The companion "star"
to Hale-Bopp turns out to be
a giant SPAM can.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
5037.
Smorgasbord tonight
Slices of SPAM on a plate
Give me lutefisk!
--Sue Sarlette, suegerry@muscanet.com
5038.
How different is
SPAM in England to your SPAM?
Insignificant.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5039.
Had my review, got
a raise. Can write SPAMKU at
work for next few months.
--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net
5040.
Smear me with SPAM when
I go. For my funeral
read some SPAM haiku.
--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net
5041.
When you seek me on
the Day of Doom look for me
in the tinned meat isle.
--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net
5042.
Authors of Spamku
here is a thought for you all.
SPAM donuts are great!
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5043.
If you had to choose
between SPAM and painful death,
is life worth the taste?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5044.
After all, is there
anything in life after
the first taste of SPAM?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5045.
Can you remember
your first time? Or have you blocked
painful memories?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5046.
I remember all
the bittersweet taste of SPAM.
The smell of vomit.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5047.
You only live twice.
Once when you are born, and once
when you first taste SPAM.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5048.
Schizophrenia.
I love SPAM. No, I hate SPAM.
Maybe. I don't know...
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5049.
Wisdom from a can:
The label should have warnings,
hazardous to health.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5050.
Sat in front of my
computer, thoughts are of SPAM.
It is hard to work.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5051.
I should be working,
I write computer programs.
I think of Spamku.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5052.
I can give it up!
I am not addicted to
Spamku...SPAM neither!
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5053.
Quick, I need a fix!
A cube of pink porcine fat
stored in a blue can.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5054.
Maman died today.
I do not care because she
always fed me SPAM.
--Anonymous
5055.
SPAM falling on floor.
SPLAT! Jelly is on my leg,
Slime is on my shoe.
--Andrew Benton
5056.
Drying in the sun,
The banners of SPAM waving
Meat by-product flags.
--Andrew Benton
5057.
Namu Myoho Spam,
Praise unto its name, Spamu
Amida Butsu.
--Andrew Benton
5058.
I'm worried about
all modern technology.
Will there still be SPAM?
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5059.
Leaves fall to the ground
as they turn from green to gold.
SPAM stays usual pink.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5060.
Snow lies all about
as winter draws ever near.
The can is still blue.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5061.
Spring glory leaps forth
as yellow daffodils grow.
There is always SPAM.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5062.
The long hot summer
season's always spoilt for me.
Deep fried SPAM again.
--Andy Connor, ensamc
5063.
David Allen Coe
sings, "and if that ain't haiku,
then I'll kiss your SPAM."
--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@mindspring.com
5064.
My dog won't eat it.
Just why does he demonstrate
more wisdom than I?
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
5065.
Autumn leaves falling
lead to winter's gentle snows.
SPAM splats and quivers.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
5066.
Freshman running nude
Through snow, SPAM glued to his chest--
Hell week at the frat.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5067.
Father says grace: "Lord,
We would normally thank you
For our food...but SPAM?"
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5068.
SPAM: white bread soul food
Ethnically neutral pig fat
The nowhere cuisine
--Cholesterol 300
5069.
Like a bottle cork
SPAM plugs the hole in my butt
Aging like fine wine
--Cholesterol 300
5070.
Mister Shakespeare said:
"SPAM by any other name,
would still smell like shit."
--Cholesterol 300
5071.
A truly good deed
Is to chuck the pink fleshy
Recycle the tin
--jim strange
5072.
A lifetime of SPAM
Frying briskly in the pan
Will be a short one
--Bill Mewaldt
5073.
Pink porcine meat mass
Salty fat coursing my veins
Heart doctor's paycheck
--jim strange
5074.
a block of fake meat
if you coat SPAM with plastic
you make a doorstop
--Luke Gattuso
5075.
sunrise morning sky
the sizzling pork lard spatters
soon the taste i crave
--spamakawa
5076.
winter camper sits
falling snow muffles senses
grilled spam warms the soul
--spamakawa
5077.
SPAM crosses ocean
feeds soldiers of Red Army.
Downfall of Third Reich.
--Anonymous
5078.
SPAMku's not sinful
Just do it in private and
Wash hands afterwards
--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com
5079.
Turning key strips tin
Soft pink inside cruel metal
SPAM spluts to freedom
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5080.
a processed karma
cycle of ham; spam goes in
and lo, spam comes out
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5081.
Democratic SPAM
All species ground together
America's meat
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5082.
Alien matter
I cringe as gristle meets tooth
SPAM: A food I fear
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5083.
Pedestal for dust
Way back in the cabinet
Grandma plans ahead
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5084.
A SPAM animal
Its screams muffled by the tin
The pantry is still
--Chip Young, chyoung@rci.rutgers.edu
5085.
Door jammed on shuttle.
Engineers discover cause.
Old SPAM found in seal.
--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com
5086.
Turns out a sloppy
technician smeared his hands on
door seal. He'll be fired.
--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com
5087.
Later, depressed and
drunken shuttle crew will tie
him to the launch pad.
--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com
5088.
They force feed him cans
of SPAM, leave him there. Next launch
leaves weird ash on pad.
--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com
5089.
In Spamadu did
Hormel Khan a stately ab-
Attoir decree. Oink!
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5090.
Take last year's bad jokes.
Wrap them in a sock and squeeze.
What have you got? SPAM.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5091.
There is a quiet
Dignity about SPAM, sad
Corpse in its coffin.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5092.
The tortured writer
Crosses his words out again;
They fall short of SPAM.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5093.
Faint in the air, like
A remembered melody--
That smell from my youth.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5094.
It's revealed David
Koresh was stockpiling SPAM,
Not guns. He's still nuts.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5095.
Her buttocks move with
An articulated twitch,
SPAM-pink, yet firmer.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5096.
Doctor Spamenstein
Sighed, "Igor, things have gone wrong.
We'll have to can it."
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5097.
In reality
SPAM is made fom baboon bums,
Smoked, salted, and tinned.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk
5098.
sure spam's good to eat
and to fill your cheeks with it
but you are all freaks
--Gidon Shaviv and friend, gidons@hotmail.com
5099.
I can't take it, man.
SPAM holds many mysteries...
...blows my fucking mind!
--Anonymous
5100.
What's the difference
Between SPAM and terminal
Gastric trauma? None.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk