SPAM Haiku 5501-5600

Move backwards to Numbers 5401-5500.


5501.
Portability:
Slip a slice in your pocket
Friction keeps it warm
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5502.
No complexity:
A key, a twist of the wrist
The bounty is yours

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5503.
Loyal in nature:
If you love SPAM, set it free
It will never leave

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5504.
For education:
Psychological profiles
All induced by SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5505.
The SPAM obsessive:
Ashen faced, he hoards his SPAM
Far from prying eyes

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5506.
The SPAM despiser
Eyes ablaze, denounces SPAM
Destroys it on sight

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5507.
The Spamphobiac
Mortal fear of the blue can
Runs at sight or smell

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5508.
The SPAM lover will
Tell all their friends about it
Eats a dozen cans

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5509.
The SPAM maniac
Crazed look, approaches pressed meat
Bathes in SPAM jelly

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5510.
The SPAM denier
Refutes all the evidence
Of SPAM's existence

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5511.
See the SPAM glutton
He eats SPAM with abandon
Opens one more can

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5512.
SPAM-flavored milk drink
It's enough to make you puke
Buy it anyway

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5513.
"I'd swap soul for SPAM"
Devil appears, says "No deal,
"We need SPAM down there"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5514.
One crazy moment
I gorge on the sickly mass
My life is forfeit

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5515.
I have been climbing.
All I took to eat was SPAM.
A way to lose weight.

--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk

5516.
If you eat some SPAM,
you could get extremely sick,
and then you might die.

--Chris Cessna, ccessna@kirk.anderson.edu

5517.
No mad pig disease
SPAM: not pathogenic pork
Eat with confidence

--Anonymous

5518.
I am mighty SPAM.
Indigestible, plastic.
I shall never die.

--UI4X

5519.
SPAM, gift of the Gods
Said the putrid grave-marker
Of the insane man.

--Nobdy

5520.
World-wide news shocker
All blue cans shed fatty tears
"John Cho drowns in SPAM"

--Gabriel

5521.
Dawn on the counter
Eggs frying on the stovetop
The SPAM shivering

--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com

5522.
Smooth pink silken SPAM
Shimmering seductively
I must possess it

--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com

5523.
Mysteries we will
Never understand: Stonehenge
And a can of SPAM

--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com

5524.
A tree is falling
No one is around to hear
The soft sound of SPAM

--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com

5525.
Making giraffe-shaped
SPAM for my daughter's birthday
Ruined my jigsaw.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5526.
Eleanor Rigby
Died after eating some SPAM
That fell on the floor.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5527.
My BB gun pierced
The SPAM can like Black Talons
Through body armor.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5528.
I felt very tired
Then the SPAM began ringing
Like a telephone

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5529.
The air in the can--
Trapped with the SPAM, ecstatic
When it is released.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5530.
A track of slime leads
Through the kitchen, down the hall--
The SPAM has escaped!

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5531.
A SPAM sandwich left
By the swing set, imprinted
With Air Jordan treads.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5532.
SPAM, breeder of shame,
Crusher of souls, god of angst--
Get thee behind me!

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5533.
The hungry black cat
Meows his begging for more of
Fluffy's SPAM breakfast.

--Larry Cruikshank, laredog@primenet.com

5534.
With any drink add
Frozen SPAM cubes, ooh la la.
One nasty Slurpee.

--Master of the Blue and Yellow Can, phillips@skyenet.net

5535.
I fill my hourglass
With SPAM. The seconds go by:
"Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat."

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5536.
I didn't mean to
Hit the poor bird when I threw
The SPAM in the air.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5537.
Once again, John Cho
Is out of town. Do you think
He's getting burned out?

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5538.
I love to eat SPAM!
It tastes great. What are these small
green growths on my hand?

--Tim Spencer, rspenc61@mail.caps.maine.edu

5539.
Slippery, sliding
pile of pork by-product goop.
Leading cause of death.

--Ms. Piggie, mgutierz@obalaw.com

5540.
my dog died today.
mother fed him a spamwich
i will have revenge!!!!

--Anonymous

5541.
John Lithgow appears
in drag; great new film! The World
According to SPAM
.

--Anonymous

5542.
Alien lands, says
"SPAMtu Barata Nikto."
Day the Earth Stood Still.

--Anonymous

5543.
Sing a song of SPAM:
Glistening Jell-O-like meat.
Think of all the fat!

--Greg Bowne, bowne@fas.harvard.edu

5544.
They fly through the air,
glittering, glistening tins.
Juggling the SPAM cans.

--Chris Allen, barton@acronet.net

5545.
Soft caress of pink
On my tongue, delightful sponge:
Dawn of meat's new day.

--Anonymous

5546.
The can's fine print reads
"Call 1-800-LUV-SPAM"
Imagine their lives

--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com

5547.
Lived only to speak
The language of the loved loaf
Each tongue but a slice

--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com

5548.
Want a catalog?
SPAM novelties and clothing
Two weeks and it's yours

--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com

5549.
The times of much fun.
Departed with liberty.
Now it's time for guns.

--Anonymous

5550.
The pink tyrant rules.
He thinks the people are fools.
The time will come soon.

--Anonymous

5551.
Overthrown from pow'r.
He did refuse to shower.
But then came the need.

--Anonymous

5552.
He wanted his place.
On the high throne he would face.
The horrible mobs.

--Anonymous

5553.
He never achieved
the goal to which he did cleave.
He plotted revenge.

--Anonymous

5554.
A noble warrior
knew that the threat was still there.
He hacked him in three.

--Anonymous

5555.
Using blue cans he
subdued the king forever.
His remains are where?

--Anonymous

5556.
On the shelves we find
all the others of his kind.
They are labeled SPAM!

--Anonymous

5557.
spam, spam, spam i am
i am spam; i worship spam
hey, spam, here i am!

--j.j. Gembinski, jgembinski1@vaxc.hofstra.edu

5558.
spam is on my mind,
spam is in my intestine
feel spam all over!

--Anonymous

5559.
spam makes me happy
i'm a big old slab of it
you don't believe me?

--Anonymous

5560.
the spam runs rampant
infecting everyone's mind
it's taking over!!

--Anonymous

5561.
spam is as spam does
spam is a lump of nature--
USED to be nature

--Anonymous

5562.
i think i love spam
i have spam in my dorm room
can i marry spam?

--Anonymous

5563.
it sits in juices
hopeful, expecting, ready
come on!! take the plunge!

--Anonymous

5564.
ready, aim...sppaaaaaa-ammmmmm!!
meat that launched a thousand mouths
pretty potent stuff

--Anonymous

5565.
icky, gooey meat
my bowels are still in shock
damn it, deviled spam!!!!!

--Anonymous

5566.
uncle matt once ate
it--they served it in vietnam
swore "never again"

--Anonymous

5567.
universal spam
stasis, inert luncheon meat
the same everywhere

--Anonymous

5568.
why, spam, why? because.
spam will attack if provoked--
no inhibitions

--Anonymous

5569.
spam kicks meaty ass!!!!
it has a black belt; really!!
fine, don't believe me.

--Anonymous

5570.
Silver tongued devil,
invitation to share lunch.
SPAM? Ugh! No way, dude.

--Anonymous

5571.
Rabbi sneaks down to
kitchen, grabs a bit of SPAM.
Not kosher? Who cares?

--Anonymous

5572.
Martin Luther balks
at diet of worms. But SPAM?
Food for the spirit.

--Anonymous

5573.
"In the name of love,"
Bono sings. "Not so," says Edge.
"In the name of SPAM."

--Anonymous

5574.
Many here believe
SPAM becomes body and blood.
Transubstantiate?

--Anonymous

5575.
The OK Corral.
A gunfight, what's the motive?
The Earps fight for SPAM.

--Anonymous

5576.
Anthony Perkins.
Bates Motel, shower scene, knife.
Oh! Thought you were SPAM.

--Anonymous

5577.
Porcine of blue can
Ambrosia of the cultured
Nectar of the gods

--BHicks1052@prodigy.com

5578.
Last night, I dreamt I
Had become a chunk of SPAM.
Shamed, I ate myself.

--K. M. (Mike) O'Connor, mickman@intonet.co.uk

5579.
My drool mingles with
Dripping tendrils of fatty
Porcine magnitude

--Anonymous

5580.
Porcine holocaust
Forget not the pig millions
The SPAM Solution

--Cholesterol 300

5581.
Is SPAM pop art food?
Comment on our modern world?
Ironic symbol?

--Cholesterol 300

5582.
New class of weapon
Low cost artillery shell
SPAM helps keep us free

--Cholesterol 300

5583.
Obscene pork product
SPAM is a four-letter word
Hot porcine porno

--Cholesterol 300

5584.
Is SPAM really meat?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Is the Pope Cath'lic?

--Cholesterol 300

5585.
NEW! SPAM-O-RAMA
The movie is pink and smells
Arty film technique

--Cholesterol 300

5586.
Don't shake that blue can
A little known SPAM secret
Explodes on impact

--Cholesterol 300

5587.
Who needs those women?
SPAM is like Portnoy's liver
Cathartic release

--Cholesterol 300

5588.
Put tin in freezer
SPAM: glacier in my bowels
Cool constipation

--Cholesterol 300

5589.
After SPAM, what's next?
Beef brains in a plastic sack?
Processed fish entrails?

--Cholesterol 300

5590.
Fuel of the future
SPAM: fifty miles to the can
Bad pollution, though

--Cholesterol 300

5591.
Recycle SPAM cans
Make some more pretty blue tins
Recycle SPAM, too?

--Cholesterol 300

5592.
what could be in it?
I have no idea, sir
but please, give me more

--JENNIFER_SPINNER@intertec.com

5593.
SPAM beautiful SPAM
That strangely shaped oblong can
Damn the tab has broke

--Sean Hughes, usagi02@sprynet.com

5594.
Hark! I wake from sleep
To the scent of toast, fried eggs
And delicious SPAM.

--The Copse, tmcd100@york.ac.uk

5595.
Best thing since sliced bread.
Fried SPAM makes a great sandwich.
I'll go eat some now.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5596.
SPAM is processed meat,
Found in supermarket cans.
Fry some with breakfast.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5597.
I like my fake meat.
Oh, great shit goes into SPAM.
It's good for you too.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5598.
The great lubricant.
I masturbate with canned meat.
So useful is SPAM.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5599.
Eat at SPAM diner.
Have SPAM, eggs, SPAM, and sausage.
I eat there daily.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5600.
Dish from the oven
Serve it on sterling silver
All this just for SPAM?

--Wild T.


Move forwards to Numbers 5601-5700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.