5501.
Portability:
Slip a slice in your pocket
Friction keeps it warm
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5502.
No complexity:
A key, a twist of the wrist
The bounty is yours
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5503.
Loyal in nature:
If you love SPAM, set it free
It will never leave
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5504.
For education:
Psychological profiles
All induced by SPAM
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5505.
The SPAM obsessive:
Ashen faced, he hoards his SPAM
Far from prying eyes
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5506.
The SPAM despiser
Eyes ablaze, denounces SPAM
Destroys it on sight
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5507.
The Spamphobiac
Mortal fear of the blue can
Runs at sight or smell
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5508.
The SPAM lover will
Tell all their friends about it
Eats a dozen cans
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5509.
The SPAM maniac
Crazed look, approaches pressed meat
Bathes in SPAM jelly
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5510.
The SPAM denier
Refutes all the evidence
Of SPAM's existence
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5511.
See the SPAM glutton
He eats SPAM with abandon
Opens one more can
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5512.
SPAM-flavored milk drink
It's enough to make you puke
Buy it anyway
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5513.
"I'd swap soul for SPAM"
Devil appears, says "No deal,
"We need SPAM down there"
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5514.
One crazy moment
I gorge on the sickly mass
My life is forfeit
--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5515.
I have been climbing.
All I took to eat was SPAM.
A way to lose weight.
--Andy Connor, ensamc@bath.ac.uk
5516.
If you eat some SPAM,
you could get extremely sick,
and then you might die.
--Chris Cessna, ccessna@kirk.anderson.edu
5517.
No mad pig disease
SPAM: not pathogenic pork
Eat with confidence
--Anonymous
5518.
I am mighty SPAM.
Indigestible, plastic.
I shall never die.
--UI4X
5519.
SPAM, gift of the Gods
Said the putrid grave-marker
Of the insane man.
--Nobdy
5520.
World-wide news shocker
All blue cans shed fatty tears
"John Cho drowns in SPAM"
--Gabriel
5521.
Dawn on the counter
Eggs frying on the stovetop
The SPAM shivering
--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com
5522.
Smooth pink silken SPAM
Shimmering seductively
I must possess it
--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com
5523.
Mysteries we will
Never understand: Stonehenge
And a can of SPAM
--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com
5524.
A tree is falling
No one is around to hear
The soft sound of SPAM
--Pam McGlynn, veragemini@aol.com
5525.
Making giraffe-shaped
SPAM for my daughter's birthday
Ruined my jigsaw.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5526.
Eleanor Rigby
Died after eating some SPAM
That fell on the floor.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5527.
My BB gun pierced
The SPAM can like Black Talons
Through body armor.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5528.
I felt very tired
Then the SPAM began ringing
Like a telephone
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5529.
The air in the can--
Trapped with the SPAM, ecstatic
When it is released.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5530.
A track of slime leads
Through the kitchen, down the hall--
The SPAM has escaped!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5531.
A SPAM sandwich left
By the swing set, imprinted
With Air Jordan treads.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5532.
SPAM, breeder of shame,
Crusher of souls, god of angst--
Get thee behind me!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5533.
The hungry black cat
Meows his begging for more of
Fluffy's SPAM breakfast.
--Larry Cruikshank, laredog@primenet.com
5534.
With any drink add
Frozen SPAM cubes, ooh la la.
One nasty Slurpee.
--Master of the Blue and Yellow Can, phillips@skyenet.net
5535.
I fill my hourglass
With SPAM. The seconds go by:
"Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat."
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5536.
I didn't mean to
Hit the poor bird when I threw
The SPAM in the air.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5537.
Once again, John Cho
Is out of town. Do you think
He's getting burned out?
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5538.
I love to eat SPAM!
It tastes great. What are these small
green growths on my hand?
--Tim Spencer, rspenc61@mail.caps.maine.edu
5539.
Slippery, sliding
pile of pork by-product goop.
Leading cause of death.
--Ms. Piggie, mgutierz@obalaw.com
5540.
my dog died today.
mother fed him a spamwich
i will have revenge!!!!
--Anonymous
5541.
John Lithgow appears
in drag; great new film! The World
According to SPAM.
--Anonymous
5542.
Alien lands, says
"SPAMtu Barata Nikto."
Day the Earth Stood Still.
--Anonymous
5543.
Sing a song of SPAM:
Glistening Jell-O-like meat.
Think of all the fat!
--Greg Bowne, bowne@fas.harvard.edu
5544.
They fly through the air,
glittering, glistening tins.
Juggling the SPAM cans.
--Chris Allen, barton@acronet.net
5545.
Soft caress of pink
On my tongue, delightful sponge:
Dawn of meat's new day.
--Anonymous
5546.
The can's fine print reads
"Call 1-800-LUV-SPAM"
Imagine their lives
--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com
5547.
Lived only to speak
The language of the loved loaf
Each tongue but a slice
--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com
5548.
Want a catalog?
SPAM novelties and clothing
Two weeks and it's yours
--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com
5549.
The times of much fun.
Departed with liberty.
Now it's time for guns.
--Anonymous
5550.
The pink tyrant rules.
He thinks the people are fools.
The time will come soon.
--Anonymous
5551.
Overthrown from pow'r.
He did refuse to shower.
But then came the need.
--Anonymous
5552.
He wanted his place.
On the high throne he would face.
The horrible mobs.
--Anonymous
5553.
He never achieved
the goal to which he did cleave.
He plotted revenge.
--Anonymous
5554.
A noble warrior
knew that the threat was still there.
He hacked him in three.
--Anonymous
5555.
Using blue cans he
subdued the king forever.
His remains are where?
--Anonymous
5556.
On the shelves we find
all the others of his kind.
They are labeled SPAM!
--Anonymous
5557.
spam, spam, spam i am
i am spam; i worship spam
hey, spam, here i am!
--j.j. Gembinski, jgembinski1@vaxc.hofstra.edu
5558.
spam is on my mind,
spam is in my intestine
feel spam all over!
--Anonymous
5559.
spam makes me happy
i'm a big old slab of it
you don't believe me?
--Anonymous
5560.
the spam runs rampant
infecting everyone's mind
it's taking over!!
--Anonymous
5561.
spam is as spam does
spam is a lump of nature--
USED to be nature
--Anonymous
5562.
i think i love spam
i have spam in my dorm room
can i marry spam?
--Anonymous
5563.
it sits in juices
hopeful, expecting, ready
come on!! take the plunge!
--Anonymous
5564.
ready, aim...sppaaaaaa-ammmmmm!!
meat that launched a thousand mouths
pretty potent stuff
--Anonymous
5565.
icky, gooey meat
my bowels are still in shock
damn it, deviled spam!!!!!
--Anonymous
5566.
uncle matt once ate
it--they served it in vietnam
swore "never again"
--Anonymous
5567.
universal spam
stasis, inert luncheon meat
the same everywhere
--Anonymous
5568.
why, spam, why? because.
spam will attack if provoked--
no inhibitions
--Anonymous
5569.
spam kicks meaty ass!!!!
it has a black belt; really!!
fine, don't believe me.
--Anonymous
5570.
Silver tongued devil,
invitation to share lunch.
SPAM? Ugh! No way, dude.
--Anonymous
5571.
Rabbi sneaks down to
kitchen, grabs a bit of SPAM.
Not kosher? Who cares?
--Anonymous
5572.
Martin Luther balks
at diet of worms. But SPAM?
Food for the spirit.
--Anonymous
5573.
"In the name of love,"
Bono sings. "Not so," says Edge.
"In the name of SPAM."
--Anonymous
5574.
Many here believe
SPAM becomes body and blood.
Transubstantiate?
--Anonymous
5575.
The OK Corral.
A gunfight, what's the motive?
The Earps fight for SPAM.
--Anonymous
5576.
Anthony Perkins.
Bates Motel, shower scene, knife.
Oh! Thought you were SPAM.
--Anonymous
5577.
Porcine of blue can
Ambrosia of the cultured
Nectar of the gods
--BHicks1052@prodigy.com
5578.
Last night, I dreamt I
Had become a chunk of SPAM.
Shamed, I ate myself.
--K. M. (Mike) O'Connor, mickman@intonet.co.uk
5579.
My drool mingles with
Dripping tendrils of fatty
Porcine magnitude
--Anonymous
5580.
Porcine holocaust
Forget not the pig millions
The SPAM Solution
--Cholesterol 300
5581.
Is SPAM pop art food?
Comment on our modern world?
Ironic symbol?
--Cholesterol 300
5582.
New class of weapon
Low cost artillery shell
SPAM helps keep us free
--Cholesterol 300
5583.
Obscene pork product
SPAM is a four-letter word
Hot porcine porno
--Cholesterol 300
5584.
Is SPAM really meat?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Is the Pope Cath'lic?
--Cholesterol 300
5585.
NEW! SPAM-O-RAMA
The movie is pink and smells
Arty film technique
--Cholesterol 300
5586.
Don't shake that blue can
A little known SPAM secret
Explodes on impact
--Cholesterol 300
5587.
Who needs those women?
SPAM is like Portnoy's liver
Cathartic release
--Cholesterol 300
5588.
Put tin in freezer
SPAM: glacier in my bowels
Cool constipation
--Cholesterol 300
5589.
After SPAM, what's next?
Beef brains in a plastic sack?
Processed fish entrails?
--Cholesterol 300
5590.
Fuel of the future
SPAM: fifty miles to the can
Bad pollution, though
--Cholesterol 300
5591.
Recycle SPAM cans
Make some more pretty blue tins
Recycle SPAM, too?
--Cholesterol 300
5592.
what could be in it?
I have no idea, sir
but please, give me more
--JENNIFER_SPINNER@intertec.com
5593.
SPAM beautiful SPAM
That strangely shaped oblong can
Damn the tab has broke
--Sean Hughes, usagi02@sprynet.com
5594.
Hark! I wake from sleep
To the scent of toast, fried eggs
And delicious SPAM.
--The Copse, tmcd100@york.ac.uk
5595.
Best thing since sliced bread.
Fried SPAM makes a great sandwich.
I'll go eat some now.
--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com
5596.
SPAM is processed meat,
Found in supermarket cans.
Fry some with breakfast.
--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com
5597.
I like my fake meat.
Oh, great shit goes into SPAM.
It's good for you too.
--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com
5598.
The great lubricant.
I masturbate with canned meat.
So useful is SPAM.
--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com
5599.
Eat at SPAM diner.
Have SPAM, eggs, SPAM, and sausage.
I eat there daily.
--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com
5600.
Dish from the oven
Serve it on sterling silver
All this just for SPAM?
--Wild T.