SPAM Haiku 5801-5900

Move backwards to Numbers 5701-5800.

5801.
SPAM befalls us all
gelatinous sputterings
like DEATH, muttering

--Pressed Ham Don`t Nap

5802.
Pink square meat of Gods
SPAM will be the death of me
With my slick last taste

--Brid McCall, XXJeRichoX@aol.com

5803.
Stood up by my SPAM
Dunk head in phospholipids
Commit spamicide

--Anonymous

5804.
Mutant chunks of SPAM!
They are ravaging our town!
Break out the rifles!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5805.
Ate nine pounds of SPAM
Then let loose flatulation
Boy, that cleared the room!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5806.
SPAM is not a food.
I am afraid to eat it.
Inedible cube.

--queen of the harpies, dainatara@msn.com

5807.
We had SPAM for lunch
We gave it to the dog and
He died, starvation

--David Sant

5808.
I ran in graveyard
Found a tombstone inscripted
"Lethal SPAM intake"

--David Sant

5809.
Wake up Christmas morn,
Only thing in stocking . . . SPAM
Naughty once again

--Dan Joyce

5810.
found penis in spam
suddenly it dawned on me
it is made of pork!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--Anonymous

5811.
There's a web page with
Recipe for SPAM sushi.
Epicurious!

--Dan Kamalic, pocky@mit.edu

5812.
there was a time when
forced to live on SPAM and eggs
Leslie chose to starve

--Leslie D. Stevenson, swingkid24@juno.com

5813.
SPAM comes in a can
Like to eat it with my hands
SPAM comes in a can

--Enigma7064@AOL.com

5814.
By King Henry's word:
"Those who serve SPAM to kids shall
Be executed."

--Luke the Aussie

5815.
Lips and chitterlings
All blended into pink chunks
One more can of SPAM

--Luke the Aussie, not telling

5816.
"Mummy, what IS that?"
Cried the boy, naïve of SPAM
as it oozed white gunk.

--Luke the Aussie, not telling

5817.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM eggs SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Thanks Monty Python

--musak, musak@mailbox.uq.edu.au

5818.
Accidentally
Left SPAM in my pants' pockets
The washing went pink

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5819.
The Hormel bigwigs
Buried under puréed SPAM
Pig's final revenge

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5820.
SPAM: standing for what?
Slightly Possible Anal
Meat? I hate to think.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5821.
The spring snapped off my
Old pogo stick. A SPAM cube
Gave added bouncing.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5822.
Oh SPAM, made of shit.
How I love thee so dearly.
What is wrong with me?

--SherpaGrl@aol.com

5823.
Pink cube bursts from can
Looks like the SPAM hit the fan
Quick, dash while you can!

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5824.
The gleaming SPAM stains
Are all that's left on my plate
What was I thinking?

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5825.
Meet SPAM collectors...
"Is that your SPAM or are you
happy to see me?"

--Pitooga the Almighty III, judas226@AOL.com

5826.
SPAM cures the anger
that delicious food incites...
you'll sleep well tonight.

--Penelope Jane

5827.
Can locked with a key
Its aroma is just like
Sweet Pandora's box

--Dave Potezx

5828.
What is this pink word?
Etiology stings me;
Sans revelation.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5829.
Shoulder pork and ham?
Guess elusive origins.
Can I digest it?

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5830.
Bagel and mayo
And melted cheese with a smile
Worship sweet, pink block

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5831.
Microwave or not
Cook it any way you can
It won't disappoint

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5832.
Or will it, hombre?
Don't compare it to your stew--
It may not hold up.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5833.
Greasy, purplish lump
Causes haggus to pale and
Worship pinkish prize.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5834.
True SPAM will never
Take backseat to thoughtless meat
Spurned by Mel's Braveheart.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5835.
It shall forever
Sit upon the mighty throne
Of meat monarchy.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5836.
SPAM in my bathtub
He is drowning, save him, help
SPAM is dead, let's eat

--nick wronski, filbert911@aol.com

5837.
Crass spamku, you know
Turns boys spanking monkeys old
Blind-eyed men spank SPAM

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

5838.
Wolf: "I'll huff and puff--"
Pigs: "No meat on us; just SPAM!"
Wolf: "I'll save my breath."

--Peter Berman

5839.
Nothing beats a can
Of fresh SPAM, newly received
From the factory.

--Peter Berman

5840.
Old Mother Hubbard
Had SPAM in the cupboard; it
Was as good as bare.

--Peter Berman

5841.
I can perceive the
SPAM at the end of the mind,
But I won't eat it.

--Peter Berman

5842.
Scientists' main goal,
As they prep for Veggie Age:
To grow SPAM on trees.

--Peter Berman

5843.
ookyonyfoo
my word for my lovely SPAM
ookyonyfoo

--Anonymous

5844.
So many entries!
How'd I know if my SPAMku
already exists?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5845.
Bloke Cuisine Contest:
SPAM and Kidney Bean Fry Up
Disqualified. WHY??...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5846.
...Seems it was too nice!!
"It's almost edible," one
Of the judges moaned.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5847.
Bad news--another
U.K. factory closes; good
News--it produced SPAM!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5848.
I write SPAM haiku:
cancerous obsession with
a carcinogen.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5849.
Look! Tea and crumpets
on a thick greasy bed of
SPAM. God save the Queen.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5850.
The uses of SPAM
so varied and voracious
consumes our talents.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5851.
See Martha Stewart's
new SPAM home decor line. The
horror! The horror!

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5852.
Pig's innards, pork rinds:
fundamental particles
of the new physics.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5853.
SPAM and egg milkshake,
the breakfast of champions.
Watch Air Jordan hurl!

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5854.
Pink quivering SPAM,
duct tape of the food kingdom
(and just as sticky).

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5855.
Only one failure:
SPAM gag tied over the mouth
disappears quickly.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5856.
Holiday potluck.
Low whispers, sideways glances.
Who brought the pink loaf?

--Jason Hilbourne, jason_hilbourne@trimble.com

5857.
The same seasoning
in the frying pan: a tear
sizzles near the loaf.

--Jason Hilbourne, jason_hilbourne@trimble.com

5858.
listen to the wind
from spamsterdam spam jose
spamming the globe 'gain

--a3gonz, @aol.com

5859.
ohh spam spam spam spam
baked beans and spam spam, preferred
breakfast of vikings

--wil

5860.
Proof comes in a can
(Jelled viscera and entrails):
Beauty lies within

--Stephen Santamaria, essessem@aol.com

5861.
Fat, salt, gristle, air
Elements no chemist would
Combine in test tubes

--Michael Walsh, HRA765@aol.com

5862.
"Remember, Forrest,
'Stupid is as stupid does.'
Now eat up your SPAM."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5863.
Fish quotas, mad cows,
Government conspiracy--
Get us hooked on SPAM!

--Squinky

5864.
My computer pet
Will eat only pork meat--it's
A SPAMagotchi.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5865.
Eating SPAM each day
Arteries throbbing to beat
Pulsating fat flow

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5866.
Pink meat and French fries
Heart attack on a platter
Lick your fingers clean

--Katie Purdum

5867.
SPAM frolics carefree
Oh naive beautiful SPAM
Made of guts and balls

--Jed and Edna, HuttHunter@aol.com

5868.
What is in the can?
Jiggling SPAM, mute and oppressed
Oh SPAM, break free now!

--Jed and Edna, HuttHunter@aol.com

5869.
Tab has broken off
I waste away in despair
Feel the emptiness

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5870.
What is gelatin?
I definitely don't know
Not one person knows

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5871.
i saw spam in dream
luscious oozing spam, love me
as i love you, babe

--aaron mcnutt, camille.mcnutt@mci.com

5872.
Can you feel the love?
Come, feel my fine, spammish love
I want to share it

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5873.
If we burned the SPAM
We'd have efficient power
To light each man's home

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5874.
Have a feeling I
Want to write a SPAM sonnet
Very difficult

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5875.
I'm surfing the Web
A can of SPAM at my side
Where has my life gone?

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5876.
Bill gives Buddy treat!
It could be the end of this
administration!

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

5877.
SPAM, it's good to eat,
If you do not enjoy SPAM,
Your head I will beat!!!!

--SPAM, imbojay@hotmail.com

5878.
Profits for Hormel
mean atherosclerosis
For the SPAM eater.

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

5879.
New Spam sales promo:
"Field angioplasty kit
Free in every can"

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

5880.
A hush goes over
the room; glow of gelatin,
the SPAM has arrived.

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5881.
SPAM does have it all
Eat SPAM, ladies flock to you
I'm delirious

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5882.
Twelve tins in my fridge
Full and robust, they tempt me
I cannot resist

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5883.
I could not resist.
Now I suffer, without SPAM,
In the cold kitchen.

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5884.
Soft glow warms my face
The lovely scent wafts by me
SPAM candles are great

--Kristi Newhouse

5885.
Roof leaks when it rains
Walls have rotted and they stink
In my SPAM-brick house

--Kristi Newhouse

5886.
My computer died.
I guess I shouldn't have put
SPAM in the disk drive.

--Kristi Newhouse

5887.
serving suggestion:
garnish it with pimentos
serve with anchovies

--kristi joy

5888.
Indonesia
seeks durable currency;
considering SPAM.

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

5889.
For trees made of SPAM,
Representative Bono'd
be skiing today.

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

5890.
Open the can up,
Take a whiff and dig in it.
Yummy, it is SPAM.

--Anonymous

5891.
SPAM, Tang, Weetabix:
Foods of the Apocalypse . . .
Fourth horseman--Marmite!

--Anonymous

5892.
Mauve office chairs with
The consistency of SPAM:
Back pains fade away.

--L. Sheahen

5893.
Easter Island--myth?
Dour ancient idols must have
Been carved out of SPAM.

--L. Sheahen

5894.
Ma paled when I said,
"Pa gets into S&M!"
I only meant S(PA)M.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5895.
Blue tin can opens
Many mouths drop saliva
We devour substance

--Ryan Finnerty

5896.
Speckled granite meat,
Leaving it outside to dry:
A better walkway.

--Jay

5897.
Arching, popping fat.
Mom is sick of mooching son.
Breakfast is ready!

--Jay

5898.
The biggest slices
Divided by a gold knife
Where can I dump this?

--Jay

5899.
What is that above?
Large blue monolithic ship;
One block of that kills.

--Jay

5900.
Key to life I found.
Abject poverty abound.
I used the SPAM key.

--Jay