SPAM Haiku 5801-5900

Move backwards to Numbers 5701-5800.


5801.
SPAM befalls us all
gelatinous sputterings
like DEATH, muttering
--Pressed Ham Don`t Nap

5802.
Pink square meat of Gods
SPAM will be the death of me
With my slick last taste

--Brid McCall, XXJeRichoX@aol.com

5803.
Stood up by my SPAM
Dunk head in phospholipids
Commit spamicide

--Anonymous

5804.
Mutant chunks of SPAM!
They are ravaging our town!
Break out the rifles!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5805.
Ate nine pounds of SPAM
Then let loose flatulation
Boy, that cleared the room!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5806.
SPAM is not a food.
I am afraid to eat it.
Inedible cube.

--queen of the harpies, dainatara@msn.com

5807.
We had SPAM for lunch
We gave it to the dog and
He died, starvation

--David Sant

5808.
I ran in graveyard
Found a tombstone inscripted
"Lethal SPAM intake"

--David Sant

5809.
Wake up Christmas morn,
Only thing in stocking . . . SPAM
Naughty once again

--Dan Joyce

5810.
found penis in spam
suddenly it dawned on me
it is made of pork!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--Anonymous

5811.
There's a web page with
Recipe for SPAM sushi.
Epicurious!

--Dan Kamalic, pocky@mit.edu

5812.
there was a time when
forced to live on SPAM and eggs
Leslie chose to starve

--Leslie D. Stevenson, swingkid24@juno.com

5813.
SPAM comes in a can
Like to eat it with my hands
SPAM comes in a can

--Enigma7064@AOL.com

5814.
By King Henry's word:
"Those who serve SPAM to kids shall
Be executed."

--Luke the Aussie

5815.
Lips and chitterlings
All blended into pink chunks
One more can of SPAM

--Luke the Aussie, not telling

5816.
"Mummy, what IS that?"
Cried the boy, naïve of SPAM
as it oozed white gunk.

--Luke the Aussie, not telling

5817.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM eggs SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Thanks Monty Python

--musak, musak@mailbox.uq.edu.au

5818.
Accidentally
Left SPAM in my pants' pockets
The washing went pink

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5819.
The Hormel bigwigs
Buried under puréed SPAM
Pig's final revenge

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5820.
SPAM: standing for what?
Slightly Possible Anal
Meat? I hate to think.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5821.
The spring snapped off my
Old pogo stick. A SPAM cube
Gave added bouncing.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5822.
Oh SPAM, made of shit.
How I love thee so dearly.
What is wrong with me?

--SherpaGrl@aol.com

5823.
Pink cube bursts from can
Looks like the SPAM hit the fan
Quick, dash while you can!

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5824.
The gleaming SPAM stains
Are all that's left on my plate
What was I thinking?

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5825.
Meet SPAM collectors...
"Is that your SPAM or are you
happy to see me?"

--Pitooga the Almighty III, judas226@AOL.com

5826.
SPAM cures the anger
that delicious food incites...
you'll sleep well tonight.

--Penelope Jane

5827.
Can locked with a key
Its aroma is just like
Sweet Pandora's box

--Dave Potezx

5828.
What is this pink word?
Etiology stings me;
Sans revelation.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5829.
Shoulder pork and ham?
Guess elusive origins.
Can I digest it?

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5830.
Bagel and mayo
And melted cheese with a smile
Worship sweet, pink block

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5831.
Microwave or not
Cook it any way you can
It won't disappoint

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5832.
Or will it, hombre?
Don't compare it to your stew--
It may not hold up.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5833.
Greasy, purplish lump
Causes haggus to pale and
Worship pinkish prize.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5834.
True SPAM will never
Take backseat to thoughtless meat
Spurned by Mel's Braveheart.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5835.
It shall forever
Sit upon the mighty throne
Of meat monarchy.

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5836.
SPAM in my bathtub
He is drowning, save him, help
SPAM is dead, let's eat

--nick wronski, filbert911@aol.com

5837.
Crass spamku, you know
Turns boys spanking monkeys old
Blind-eyed men spank SPAM

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

5838.
Wolf: "I'll huff and puff--"
Pigs: "No meat on us; just SPAM!"
Wolf: "I'll save my breath."

--Peter Berman

5839.
Nothing beats a can
Of fresh SPAM, newly received
From the factory.

--Peter Berman

5840.
Old Mother Hubbard
Had SPAM in the cupboard; it
Was as good as bare.

--Peter Berman

5841.
I can perceive the
SPAM at the end of the mind,
But I won't eat it.

--Peter Berman

5842.
Scientists' main goal,
As they prep for Veggie Age:
To grow SPAM on trees.

--Peter Berman

5843.
ookyonyfoo
my word for my lovely SPAM
ookyonyfoo

--Anonymous

5844.
So many entries!
How'd I know if my SPAMku
already exists?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5845.
Bloke Cuisine Contest:
SPAM and Kidney Bean Fry Up
Disqualified. WHY??...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5846.
...Seems it was too nice!!
"It's almost edible," one
Of the judges moaned.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5847.
Bad news--another
U.K. factory closes; good
News--it produced SPAM!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5848.
I write SPAM haiku:
cancerous obsession with
a carcinogen.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5849.
Look! Tea and crumpets
on a thick greasy bed of
SPAM. God save the Queen.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5850.
The uses of SPAM
so varied and voracious
consumes our talents.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5851.
See Martha Stewart's
new SPAM home decor line. The
horror! The horror!

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5852.
Pig's innards, pork rinds:
fundamental particles
of the new physics.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5853.
SPAM and egg milkshake,
the breakfast of champions.
Watch Air Jordan hurl!

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5854.
Pink quivering SPAM,
duct tape of the food kingdom
(and just as sticky).

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5855.
Only one failure:
SPAM gag tied over the mouth
disappears quickly.

--Kevin Crellin, crellin@finnigan.com

5856.
Holiday potluck.
Low whispers, sideways glances.
Who brought the pink loaf?

--Jason Hilbourne, jason_hilbourne@trimble.com

5857.
The same seasoning
in the frying pan: a tear
sizzles near the loaf.

--Jason Hilbourne, jason_hilbourne@trimble.com

5858.
listen to the wind
from spamsterdam spam jose
spamming the globe 'gain

--a3gonz, @aol.com

5859.
ohh spam spam spam spam
baked beans and spam spam, preferred
breakfast of vikings

--wil

5860.
Proof comes in a can
(Jelled viscera and entrails):
Beauty lies within

--Stephen Santamaria, essessem@aol.com

5861.
Fat, salt, gristle, air
Elements no chemist would
Combine in test tubes

--Michael Walsh, HRA765@aol.com

5862.
"Remember, Forrest,
'Stupid is as stupid does.'
Now eat up your SPAM."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5863.
Fish quotas, mad cows,
Government conspiracy--
Get us hooked on SPAM!

--Squinky

5864.
My computer pet
Will eat only pork meat--it's
A SPAMagotchi.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5865.
Eating SPAM each day
Arteries throbbing to beat
Pulsating fat flow

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5866.
Pink meat and French fries
Heart attack on a platter
Lick your fingers clean

--Katie Purdum

5867.
SPAM frolics carefree
Oh naive beautiful SPAM
Made of guts and balls

--Jed and Edna, HuttHunter@aol.com

5868.
What is in the can?
Jiggling SPAM, mute and oppressed
Oh SPAM, break free now!

--Jed and Edna, HuttHunter@aol.com

5869.
Tab has broken off
I waste away in despair
Feel the emptiness

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5870.
What is gelatin?
I definitely don't know
Not one person knows

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5871.
i saw spam in dream
luscious oozing spam, love me
as i love you, babe

--aaron mcnutt, camille.mcnutt@mci.com

5872.
Can you feel the love?
Come, feel my fine, spammish love
I want to share it

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5873.
If we burned the SPAM
We'd have efficient power
To light each man's home

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5874.
Have a feeling I
Want to write a SPAM sonnet
Very difficult

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5875.
I'm surfing the Web
A can of SPAM at my side
Where has my life gone?

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5876.
Bill gives Buddy treat!
It could be the end of this
administration!

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

5877.
SPAM, it's good to eat,
If you do not enjoy SPAM,
Your head I will beat!!!!

--SPAM, imbojay@hotmail.com

5878.
Profits for Hormel
mean atherosclerosis
For the SPAM eater.

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

5879.
New Spam sales promo:
"Field angioplasty kit
Free in every can"

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

5880.
A hush goes over
the room; glow of gelatin,
the SPAM has arrived.

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5881.
SPAM does have it all
Eat SPAM, ladies flock to you
I'm delirious

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5882.
Twelve tins in my fridge
Full and robust, they tempt me
I cannot resist

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5883.
I could not resist.
Now I suffer, without SPAM,
In the cold kitchen.

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

5884.
Soft glow warms my face
The lovely scent wafts by me
SPAM candles are great

--Kristi Newhouse

5885.
Roof leaks when it rains
Walls have rotted and they stink
In my SPAM-brick house

--Kristi Newhouse

5886.
My computer died.
I guess I shouldn't have put
SPAM in the disk drive.

--Kristi Newhouse

5887.
serving suggestion:
garnish it with pimentos
serve with anchovies

--kristi joy

5888.
Indonesia
seeks durable currency;
considering SPAM.

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

5889.
For trees made of SPAM,
Representative Bono'd
be skiing today.

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

5890.
Open the can up,
Take a whiff and dig in it.
Yummy, it is SPAM.

--Anonymous

5891.
SPAM, Tang, Weetabix:
Foods of the Apocalypse . . .
Fourth horseman--Marmite!

--Anonymous

5892.
Mauve office chairs with
The consistency of SPAM:
Back pains fade away.

--L. Sheahen

5893.
Easter Island--myth?
Dour ancient idols must have
Been carved out of SPAM.

--L. Sheahen

5894.
Ma paled when I said,
"Pa gets into S&M!"
I only meant S(PA)M.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5895.
Blue tin can opens
Many mouths drop saliva
We devour substance

--Ryan Finnerty

5896.
Speckled granite meat,
Leaving it outside to dry:
A better walkway.

--Jay

5897.
Arching, popping fat.
Mom is sick of mooching son.
Breakfast is ready!

--Jay

5898.
The biggest slices
Divided by a gold knife
Where can I dump this?

--Jay

5899.
What is that above?
Large blue monolithic ship;
One block of that kills.

--Jay

5900.
Key to life I found.
Abject poverty abound.
I used the SPAM key.

--Jay


Move forwards to Numbers 5901-6000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.