SPAM Haiku 7101-7200

Move backwards to Numbers 7001-7100.


7101.
Babe 2: "Follow the
antics of our loveable
talking can of SPAM."
--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7102.
SPAM definition:
"A good pork spoiled"--SPAM Clemens
(AKA Mark Twain)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7103.
"Reports of my death
Greatly anticipated."--
SPAMuel Clemens

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7104.
"...But it was not a
Dinner to ask a man to."--
SPAMuel Johnson

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7105.
SPAM--"It is ill-fed,
Ill-killed, ill-kept and ill-drest."--
SPAMuel Johnson

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7106.
Once, my dog was caught
Worrying pigs; crept up on
them and barked out "SPAM!"

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7107.
Writing SPAMku is
Addictive--as opposed to
Eating the darn stuff.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7108.
How do SPAMkuists
Beat insomnia? They count
syllables. One... two...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7109.
There are three kinds of
SPAMku writer--those who can
count and those who can't.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7110.
How to waste time--count
SPAMku syllables or watch
paint dry? Mmmm... tough call...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7111.
Hormel Foods Corp. STOP
SPAMku dilute trademark STOP
Demand you stop STOP

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7112.
Little dwarves eat SPAM
While dying for their duct tape
As their world does burn!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7113.
The shallow hare moans
As SPAM exerts its great worm
Making demons cry

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7114.
Picking up my lung
I see the great white palace
Eating SPAM alive

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7115.
Choking on their lust
The Hittites gamble for SPAM
As the moon grows warm

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7116.
i love to eat SPAM
just holding it in my hand
there's nothing like SPAM

--Anonymous

7117.
Slice it and fry it:
Leftover grease fills the pan.
Gosh, how I love SPAM

--Spamkin, michele2000@juno.com

7118.
Plane crash in Andes
Now am vegetarian
All we had was SPAM

--T Pease, t_pease@ids.net

7119.
Gaze upon the Freak
Eating his SPAM with horror
As the crowd mocks him!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7120.
Shall we eat our SPAM
While elves war with each other
And our children die?

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7121.
I howl at the State
And its oppressive SPAM gods!
I tear out my eyes!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7122.
Does my SPAM can see?
Ragnorok is upon us!
I now rule the world!!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7123.
My hands drown in blood
For the patriarchs are dead.
I shall eat SPAM now!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7124.
comets sometime fly
cult membership wants to die
empty cans of spam

--Britt, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7125.
SPAM is food. SPAMku
are poems. SPAMku poets
have lives. Three more lies...

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7126.
"A can of SPAM, a
jug of wine, and thou." Sounds like
a short date to me.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7127.
Lifting the blue can
up to his ear. Listening,
Horton hears a squeal.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7128.
Salt, to sting my tongue.
Grease, to slide it down my throat.
Yet, it's still not food.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7129.
SPAM 64 game.
Features real-time SPAM physics.
Nintendo insane?

--coolguy, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

7130.
spam spam spam spam spam
isn't it grand grand grand grand
no I lied lied lied

--James

7131.
moonlit paris night
fine accordion music
and a can of spam

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7132.
old man clutches spam
muttering the word "epis-
temological"

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7133.
Buddha, Mohammed
Confucius, Vishnu, and God.
Jesus Christ and SPAM.

--Charles Brittain Fleminf, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7134.
neurotic woman
a paranoid history
she needs my spam love

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7135.
When I eat my SPAM
It comes out the other end
I eat it again

--Seymour Spam, Chuck6666@AOL.com

7136.
The Monkey Island,
Evil scientist gone mad,
Fed the monkeys SPAM!

--Otis Gee

7137.
A knock at my door,
Grim Reaper is here for me;
SPAM closed my heart valve.

--Otis Gee

7138.
Blissful and serene
The Chosen eat SPAM pudding
and wait for Hale-Bopp.

--Gabriel, kilgarin@intrepid.net

7139.
SPAM, the funky can
Spank my ass and call me SPAM
You got SPAM breath man!!

--Funk Masta Spam, meatinacan@spam.net

7140.
I'm fearful of sleep
After the SPAM binge left me,
cold, pink, and greasy.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7141.
Surgeon named in suit.
Seems breast implants attract flies.
Crazy coot used SPAM.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7142.
Vacuum seal creates
slorping sound cascading down
to Spot's bowl. "Ker-splat!"

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7143.
Marching for our rights.
We shamelessly scream chants loud,
"SPAM eaters, come out!"

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7144.
SPAM shot into space.
But lipids in the air cause
pink mass on Doppler.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7145.
Thoughts of childhood bring
Odor. Mom's SPAM and peach bake.
Streets claim runaway.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7146.
Hunting for catfish.
Gelatinous pink bait waits.......
McDonald's again!

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7147.
SPAM, loveable meat...
Manifests an enigma...
What does it all mean?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7148.
SPAM, you vicious meat
In a great glob of pure hate
You swallowed my dog

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7149.
rejected entrails
tumble, churning and pressing
and suddenly, meat!

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7150.
a Yanqui devil
owns your soul, Argentina
his name is Hormel

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7151.
oh gelatinous
film over beefy wiggle
how do I love thee?

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7152.
a pink sheen taunting
misbegotten nutrients
a rumor of pork

--Peter Mullaney

7153.
Add chunks of SPAM to
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
You cannot go wrong

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7154.
slice it paper thin:
her white virgin breast heaves for
this wafer of love

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7155.
porcine ancestor,
your bony loins feed the poor,
pressed into a joke

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7156.
white-suited chemists
manipulating pig guts
what is your secret?

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7157.
Pathfinder's success
Barnacle Bill discovered
Pink, petrified SPAM

--Karen in NY and Sue in IL, BasketSue2@aol.com

7158.
I drive to the Pig
It sends me a mind message:
Worship me or die!

--Anonymous

7159.
Leprosy and SPAM
Are divergent paths for flesh;
Fall off or congeal

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7160.
Bill Bixby and SPAM
(Opened can) Both start out pink
And end up as green

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7161.
Purity of SPAM?
They say pork shoulders and ham,
What else lurks therein?

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7162.
F.D.A. allows
Some "foreign matter": Bugs, hair,
Night worker's semen.

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7163.
The truth is revealed.
The mystery of the gel,
Mystery no more!

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7164.
Jack Kevorkian
Suicide assisted death
SPAM intravenous

--K.E.Messier, JuJuHearts@aol.com

7165.
Hormel Foods is now
To diversify into
Insect repellants.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7166.
Eat SPAM for breakfast--
The perfect way to disguise
Your morning sickness.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7167.
If meat is murder,
SPAM is justifiable
Homicide--OK?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7168.
There'll be lots of SPAM,
They say, when we get to the
Sanatorium.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7169.
An example of
Elision--HORRIBLE SMELL
Might give you HORMEL.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7170.
In Ace Ventura
2
, why does Ace say "SPAMku,
Spanky Spankerton"?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7171.
If SPAMkuists are
Sad individuals then
What about SHAM, uh?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7172.
Why is a can of
SPAM like marathon running?
They're both ex Austin!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7173.
Once I had a life;
Now I write SPAMku non-stop--
Thanks to you, John Cho!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7174.
My boss found SPAMku
I wrote on the Web. I have
More time for it now...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7175.
No rhyme for SPAMku,
No reason for SPAM. Result:
Perfect symmetry.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7176.
Praise the pink porcine
Paradigm of perfection:
Purest provender!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7177.
The doctors all say
"Wearing tight underwear can
lower your SPAM count!"

--Jennifer Doerr, doerr_js@academ.wvwc.edu

7178.
Pork bellies are up
on COMEX. Of course this won't
change the price of SPAM.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7179.
A block of SPAM makes
a good target for my Glock.
But it does splatter.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7180.
I tell kids: "Be good
or you'll get Christmas SPAM from
Santa." They behave.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7181.
SPAM--shunned, scorned, still here.
I admire tenacity
and perseverance.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7182.
Spamalicious past
Intestinal voyager
Projectile vomit

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7183.
Spamalicious past
Intestinal voyager
Colon cancer ward

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7184.
Spamercise daily
Two sandwiched in each armpit
Grease runs down my sides

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7185.
Spamiliar taste
Was once an animal, no?
Cow with bad karma

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7186.
slab of spam jerky
a duty-free shop staple
infinite shelf life

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7187.
i make love to spam
it has just the right texture
and can't get pregnant

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7188.
Terrible, but true
Spamarchy in the U.K.
Causes Swiss cheesed brains

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7189.
Lichen eats my brain
It's friends do grope at my SPAM
How shalt I be saved?

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7190.
My throat screams for SPAM
As I flail about my arms!
I've eaten my hand!!!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7191.
If you list all the
Evils of society
SPAM is the greatest

--Wild T.

7192.
A rotted melon
Dead body in the river
SPAM consistency

--Wild T.

7193.
Blue cans on corpses
Pink cubes take over the Earth
Planet of the SPAMs

--Wild T.

7194.
In a Hormel hell
My soul in a tight blue can
SPAM psycology

--Wild T.

7195.
Flowers on a hill
The taste of SPAM on the wind
Wait, that was sewage

--Wild T.

7196.
Don't eat my heart out
My soul is made up of SPAM
I guess I am safe

--Wild T.

7197.
I can't change your mood
But I can offer you SPAM
That can make you puke

--Wild T.

7198.
Bountiful banquet
One million SPAM recipes
Makes a grown man cry

--Wild T.

7199.
boogey man eats spam
boogey man goes to doctor
boogey man kills spam

--Anonymous

7200.
Frosted Lucky Charms
Magically delicious
SPAM is better, though

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com


Move forwards to Numbers 7201-7300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.