SPAM Haiku 7401-7500

Move backwards to Numbers 7301-7400.

7401.
SPAM, oh SPAM oh SPAM
You are like a can of pork
Yum, oh where's my spork

--Mr. Bungle, BillGates@microsuck.com

7402.
What a lovely smell
A can that comes straight from Hell
Damn, indigestion!

--Jed, gates@microspam.com

7403.
New Hormel products
SPabbit, SPoad, SPurtle, SPossum
Road kill in a can

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7404.
Only when Hormel
runs out of pig parts should SHAM
close the SPAMku site.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7405.
"Methinks thou protest
too much--eat it." "Noooooo!" Spamlet,
from act three, scene two.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7406.
First syllable last
with "ay" end. I prefer to
call it SPAM Latin.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7407.
SPAM the wonder meat
Poisons and promotes disease
Oh, how I love SPAM

--Anonymous

7408.
under pseudonym
trickles through digestive tract
the treasure of spam

--maria esposito

7409.
I really like SPAM.
There's only one thing better.
That would be SPAM Lite.

--Anonymous

7410.
Ahab ate his SPAM
Using cans for his peg leg
This explains his hate

--Wild T.

7411.
The crew up on deck
Toss chunks of SPAM overboard
Sharks will not follow

--Wild T.

7412.
Island primitives
Missionaries bring them SPAM
Makes more cannibals

--Wild T.

7413.
The cry "Thar she blows"
Is it the whale, Moby-Dick
No, it's last night's SPAM

--Wild T.

7414.
As Moby Dick sinks
He drags Ahab to his death
"Do NOT feed me SPAM"

--Wild T.

7415.
Floating on the sea
The remains of the Pequod
And SPAM leftovers

--Wild T.

7416.
Mae West asks, winking:
"In your pocket--a cigar?
Or is that your SPAM?"

--Ira Slotkin

7417.
Speeding through Paris
Limo's dark windows hide two
She: "I've a surprise."

--paul h.

7418.
Watched and yet unseen
They grope about each other
Whispers: "Where's the key?"

--paul h.

7419.
Rose pâté/aspic
Spills onto the limo's floor
"Oh shit!" they giggle

--paul h.

7420.
She also has toast
He feeds her a pink tartine
Free! She tongues his ear

--paul h.

7421.
"Is it pork?" he chokes
"Foie gras is too cruel," she says
They feed each other

--paul h.

7422.
Gel drips from his lips
She licks it off, squeezes him
"We're going too fast?"

--paul h.

7423.
Her jewell'd fourth finger
Slowly reams the emptied tin
Last pink bits glisten

--paul h.

7424.
Both look longingly
Her finger moves to his lips
Him: "You tease me so."

--paul h.

7425.
Such fleeting moments
Can we do this again, soon?
Bring some to the yacht

--paul h.

7426.
Thick air wafts up front
SPAM's sweet scent, black night's high speed
Chauffeur succumbs. Crash!!!

--paul h.

7427.
Blue metal capsule
Squishy pink flesh, oily ham
Squidgy and Dodi

--paul h.

7428.
He was a tight end
Oh yeah, he plays SPAMball too
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7429.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Throwing SPAM for a warmup
Reserve quarterback

--MSB

7430.
The game's on the line
Get the ball in the SPAMzone
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7431.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Fumbles the snap from center
SPAM gel on his hands

--MSB

7432.
SPAM in the huddle
Our hero calls his number
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7433.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Squirts through the line like greased SPAM
Makes the winning score

--MSB

7434.
Don't touch the game ball
It might be SPAM, it might not
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7435.
On MIR space station
Supply ship brings only SPAM
Cosmonauts jump ship

--Bob City

7436.
Made a girl from SPAM
Went to park, pigeons peck her--
Our date is ruined!

--Bob City

7437.
Sarah McLachlan
And Hormel both have hits with
Building mysteries

--Bob City

7438.
Will Hormel one day
Change the way that SPAM is made
And start using meat?

--Bob City

7439.
Santas on corners,
In their pink suits ringing bells.
It's almost Spamday!

--Bob City

7440.
Ran out of cat food.
Gave my cat SPAM and guess what?
She no longer purrs.

--Bob City

7441.
Ran out of dog food.
Gave the dog SPAM and guess what?
No more wagging tail.

--Bob City

7442.
Ran out of real food.
Gave myself SPAM and guess what?
I eat cat food now.

--Bob City

7443.
A cure for SPAMku?
Searching the Web for sweepstakes
kills the urge for SPAM!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7444.
A Tale of Two SPAMs:
One was fried, the other grilled.
Then both were tossed out!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7445.
Once again it's late
and I sit writing of SPAM.
Where has my mind gone?!?

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7446.
Need insulation?
Line your walls with lots of SPAM
It worked for the pigs

--Anonymous

7447.
she touched the pink spam
quivering under her feet
this faery's in heav'n

--kelsey

7448.
her soft wings sprouted
soaring through the cool blue sky
she crashed, oh bad spam

--kelsey

7449.
Doctors okay SPAM
An appetite suppressent
Perfect diet food

--Qwerty

7450.
I dumped my girlfriend
When she made a dress of SPAM.
Not pretty in pink.

--Bob City

7451.
I have a grim tale.
He said he'd eat it 'til death.
It took just one bite.

--SAKFISH

7452.
I ate SPAM one time.
Someone told me "It is great."
I ate SPAM one time.

--SAKFISH

7453.
I have a question.
It's: SPAM, braunschweiger, and Treet??
What the heck are they??

--SAKFISH

7454.
Stay away from SPAM.
Like Chinese water torture
But you can eat it.

--SAKFISH

7455.
"SPAM: finest pork meat"
(A terminological
Inexactitude).

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7456.
Douglas MacArthur
Said "I shall return!"--Well, he'd
Forgotten the SPAM.

--Bob City

7457.
God made Job suffer
But he would not curse the Lord
Till God took his SPAM

--Bob City

7458.
Do you want to die?
Don't call Jack Kevorkian,
Overdose on SPAM.

--Bob City

7459.
"The Wind Cries Mary"
Sang Hendrix, but after SPAM
Then his wind cried "Ralph"

--Bob City

7460.
Happy children play
With new modeling compound;
SPAM-castles abound.

--KETM

7461.
Humiliated...
I didn't know what SPAM was...
Shunned by my whole town...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7462.
Fat-free SPAM is here!
Healthy consumers rejoice--
Hey, the can's empty!

--KETM

7463.
Windows 95
Gates' virtual cyber-spam
But it isn't pink

--paul, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7464.
SPAM Trivia Facts:
Highest consumption of SPAM
In world: Hawaii...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7465.
(...Must remember to
Get 'round to cancelling that
Surfing holiday.)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7466.
"The only thing that
Limits use of SPAM is your
Imagination"...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7467.
...Says Hormel PR--
Yeah, like imagining what
Goes into the stuff!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7468.
SPAM, I am a man
Stuff it with steroids and clams
Fry it with some PAM

--Walter, airlux@aol.com

7469.
"Seoul executive
Buys SPAM as 'impressive gift'":
Savoir faire or what?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7470.
1989:
US forces buy over
Three million pounds...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7471.
...Of SPAM. As they say,
"An army marches on its
Stomach."; this one crawls.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7472.
"Senator Byrd eats
SPAM sandwich three times a week.":
Can't he chew faster?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7473.
U.K. is a big
Market for SPAM. But then we
Bought Dynasty too...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7474.
Perpetually
Poised, pen on paper, pouring
On porcine passion.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7475.
Hormel adds salt to
SPAM "for firmness." Mmm... Perhaps
I'll give that a try...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7476.
Smoke-flavored SPAM: pigs
On sixty a day. Welcome
To Hormel Country...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7477.
Millions of cans
Of SPAM sold each year. Forget
Shuttle--stack 'em up...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7478.
Marie Celeste found
Deserted, table set with
Plate of SPAM slices.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7479.
I am The Spamman
I put SPAM in my boxers
Oh, erotic SPAM

--Tom Rylander

7480.
I ate ham and pork
Salt and sodium nitrates
I shall vomit SPAM

--Tom Rylander

7481.
Millions are hungry
Welfare provides them with SPAM
The masses perish

--Tom Rylander

7482.
gelatin of spam
pineapple and brown mustard
the delicious treat

--Dana Beck

7483.
God created man
Man complained he was hungry
God created SPAM

--Tom Rylander

7484.
Meat between the buns
The SPAMBURGER hamburger
Mummy, nummy SPAM

--Tom Rylander

7485.
On the movie screen
The meat removes its clothing
SPAM pornography

--Tom Rylander

7486.
Oh, the tainted meat
Add gelatin and add salt
There shall be THE SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--Dana Beck

7487.
SPAM, SPAM, ON THE RANGE
WHERE THE PIGS AND THE SWINE PLAY
AND SELDOM IS HERD

--ISF

7488.
SPAM, SPAM, IN A CAN
WHO KNOWS WHAT THE HELL I AM
PERHAPS I AM HAM

--ISF

7489.
SPAM YOU'VE BEEN AROUND
LONGER THAN ME, I WORSHIP
YOUR LITTLE BLUE CAN

--ISF

7490.
NOTHING TO DO, TRIED
WRITING SPAMKU, THOUGHT OF YOU
BLUE CAN WITH PINK GOO

--ISF

7491.
THE OLD TESTAMENT
AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY GOD SAID,
"I THINK I'LL MAKE SPAM!"

--ISF

7492.
SPAM SLICE BETWEEN BREAD
A CHEF'S CULINARY FEET
LIPS, SNOUT, AND TAIL, TOO

--ISF

7493.
FIVE MILES TO HEAVEN
FOUR, THREE, YOU ARE ALMOST THERE,
AH, SPAM! BURMA SHAVE

--ISF

7494.
IF SPAM WERE TO DREAM:
AN OSCAR MEYER WEINER,
EVERYONE LOVES ME!

--ISF

7495.
CLINK GOES THE CAN KEY
A PINK SURPRISE AWAITS ME,
HORMEL, I LOVE YOU!

--ISF

7496.
OH, BOY, IT'S MONDAY
THAT MUST MEAN IT'S A SPAM DAY
CAN'T WAIT 'TIL NEXT WEEK

--ISF

7497.
SPAM HOW I LOVE THEE
OH LET ME COUNT ALL THE WAYS
YOU KNOW, I FORGET

--ISF

7498.
A HUGE LOAF OF BREAD
A BOTTLE OF FINE RED WINE
AND THOU, SPAMTASTIC!

--ISF

7499.
OFT I THINK OF YOU
WHEN THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO
I AM SPAM BORING

--ISF

7500.
SPAM IN THE BLUE CAN
HOW I DO LOVE YOUR PINK GOO
PLEASE BE STILL MY HEART!

--ISF