SPAM Haiku 8301-8400

Move backwards to Numbers 8201-8300.


8301.
Bead of tear-like sweat
Slowly trickles over SPAM
My soul in torment
--Carolyn Zaremba, carolyn@furth.com

8302.
San Francisco SPAM
Something no one ever sees
Sublimated lust

--Carolyn Zaremba, carolyn@furth.com

8303.
Sniveling shit scar
Scraping SPAM from accidents
Itching armpits scream

--Carolyn Zaremba, carolyn@furth.com

8304.
God said, "Let there be
SPAM," and it was not good but
He just let it be.

--Lilith Sedai

8305.
I am mailing ALL
The SPAMku to my 'net friends.
I thought I'd spam them.

--Lilith Sedai

8306.
Sit and read SPAMku
Stomach growls and lurches hard
Hungry or sickened?

--Lilith Sedai

8307.
I want my dinner
I would go home and cook food
But I don't have SPAM

--Lilith Sedai

8308.
I watch Deep Space Nine
Founders are made of old SPAM
All brown and squishy

--Lilith Sedai

8309.
The people in here
Are scared of me because I
Keep snorting SPAM-chunks

--Lilith Sedai

8310.
SPAM is in the can,
Oozing into urinals:
All pink and jaunty.

--Lilith Sedai

8311.
I ate Twinkies once.
They make my throat burn real bad.
So does that damn SPAM.

--Lilith Sedai

8312.
A little square can
In a row upon a shelf
Calls to my bowels

--Zatoichi -san

8313.
free as spam can be
spam shall be as free spam can
shall be free be spam?

--Detlef Gruber, buckadams@hotmail.com

8314.
As I thought of SPAM,
I knew that I knew little.
SPAM won't enlighten.

--Andrew 'IMP' Weinman, AAWEINMA@COE.EDU

8315.
Any additives?
Yes, petroleum jelly.
Good for complexion.

--Anonymous

8316.
only a pea-brain
not reading between the lines
has spam religion

--Carolyn Zaremba, carolyn@furth.com

8317.
Virgin Airbus, OH!
British grit hero pilot
Hail, SPAM commander!

--Anonymous

8318.
Is there life on Mars?
Yes! Intelligent SPAM lords
Our doom is now sealed.

--chris deneen, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

8319.
Succulent pink flesh
Heaving cube of womanhood
Really need a date

--chris deneen, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

8320.
Wish I was Jewish
Then I know I could resist
But no... must have SPAM!

--chris deneen, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

8321.
Uranus becomes
A gas giant due to SPAM.
Asstronomical!

--Pyotr X.

8322.
At Wise Kings you find
A can of SPAM in Aisle One
For two ninety-nine

--Boaz

8323.
Is SPAM great to fuck?
Pink, shiny, squishy, and moist.
Our answer is: yes.

--Anonymous

8324.
Lobster thermidor
with a nice Hollandaise sauce,
fresh lemon, and SPAM.

--Anonymous

8325.
Is SPAM for the queer?
'Tis male yet it doth wear pink.
Plus, 'tis shiny. Hmmmmmm........

--Gay rights guy

8326.
Bow to the Hormel!
They create the mighty SPAM!
Bow to the Hormel!!!

--Fat-ass

8327.
SPAM, chop it up, yeah!
Make SPAM stew and SPAM soup, OH!!!
SPAM shit kicks ass! WHOA!!!

--Spam-shitter, www.Pythonline.com

8328.
look at that big spam
how would you like to eat that
spit out errant hair

--Don Neary, jbeav@genesisnet.net

8329.
immigrants lured here
by the promise of pork lips
molded into spam

--brendadaughterofimmigrants

8330.
SPAM is really good.
Everyone sing and shout, yeah!
SPAM is really good.

--oldasdirt, oldasdirt@hotmail.com

8331.
there is none for spam
he who is not of the ham
will not understand

--jasasolo, snowluv@hotmail.com

8332.
James eats SPAM today!
Pig parts in his mouth always!
Bless that can of SPAM!!

--Karen Pavita, SPAM@pig.guts.edu

8333.
A Nathan's hotdog,
Delicatessen mustard.
Still. It's not my SPAM.

--Ira Slotkin, manycats@wic.net

8334.
Insanely formed meat
Unsuitable for humans
Carnivorous joy!

--Philip C. Robinson, Bedlam@InZenity.org

8335.
The check's in the mail
I'll respect you tomorrow
There's meat in your SPAM

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8336.
Sally Jesse SPAM
"Folks who roll naked on meat"
The crowd eats it up

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8337.
I get STV
With my new satellite dish
SPAM television

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8338.
Hello MEAT TV
I watch the Sausage Network
And the SPAM channel

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8339.
Veins meet trails of fat
Death in angry wrecked tangles
Meaty punishment

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8340.
"There's no place like pork"
Dorothy tries to visit
The Wizard of SPAM

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8341.
Thank you, Santa SPAM
Although I love my present
I'd rather have coal

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8342.
Princess Porcina
Bound to a conveyor belt
Head nears sharp slicer

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8343.
What will happen then
To our SPAMsel in distress?
"Oh, save me Prince Pork!"

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8344.
Brave Prince rushes in
And conquers evil Hormel.
"Pork, you're my hero."

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8345.
Pork leaps out of tin
And proceeds to kick some butt
It's Jean-Claude Van SPAMME

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8346.
Parent's worst nightmare:
"Look, Mommy, I'm eating SPAM."
Emergency room.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8347.
Sacrilegious Pork
Absolutely Morbid. (eat
up, america)

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8348.
Las Vegas breakfast
The number 3 is ten cents
All-you-can-eat SPAM

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8349.
Cut up my fingers
On the sides of a SPAM can
Thick crimson gravy

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8350.
Cracker Jack surprise
Grease covers tiny wrapper
Thin slice of SPAM hides

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8351.
Like a fake orgasm
When friends serve SPAM for dinner
I fake enjoyment

--Uncle Jay

8352.
SPAM, evocative
of people's greatest feelings...
What a poignant muse.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8353.
I am disgusted
with this so-called meat product
SPAM. It's just plain sick...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8354.
jelly-topped wonder
slithering out of its can
onto her firm breasts

--cody, cdd4775@usl.edu

8355.
wasting time away
wishing for a million bucks
chewing SPAM like cud

--mike geraty, mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8356.
does SPAM consume you?
do you have SPAM on the brain?
SPAMKU? are you mad?

--mike geraty, mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8357.
Alien bodies
Sent by Air Force to Hormel...
Making SPAM unique!

--Agent X

8358.
Ah, the smell of SPAM!
Sizzles in your hot skillet
Grab the antacid

--whiteagle

8359.
Question: What came first:
Bypass surgery or SPAM?
Ponder this, piglet

--whiteagle

8360.
Give me some SPAM now
and then I will show you how
well SPAM fits in pants.

--Mee

8361.
Some formal Ph-
D boys spoof Brahms' melody,
"SPAM," by Hormel Foods.

--Wayne E. Baisley, baisley@fnal.gov

8362.
Sammy beholds proof:
PhDs' foamy bloomers--
mashy problem foods

--Wayne E. Baisley, baisley@fnal.gov

8363.
Yummy happy SPAM
Packed into its can with lots
Of K-Y Jelly

--Lilith Sedai

8364.
I am carrying
SPAM on the bus to my house
Can's in my backpack

--Lilith Sedai

8365.
SPAM with peach Jell-O!
Just watch the sublime pinkness
Trembling on my plate.

--Lilith Sedai

8366.
SPAM and cold baked beans
Good meal for Saddam Hussein
Eat and fart and die

--Lilith Sedai

8367.
If not for SPAM, I
Might have a steak for dinner.
Just think what I'd miss.

--Lilith Sedai

8368.
Pigs, out of control
running from the fear of death.
Help! It's a spampede!

--Dave Manley

8369.
Sty Stallone movie
Fighting pigs in a jungle
The mighty Spambo!

--Dave Manley

8370.
I will save the world
I will design a "clean car"
Run on SPAM jelly

--Dave Manley

8371.
College basketball
Has the hottest new player
His name: God Spamgodd

--Dave Manley

8372.
New British rock group
Curly, Hoggles, Snout, Jelly
And Pinky: SPAM Girls!

--Dave Manley

8373.
SPAMBURGER hamburg
Nice name but just one question
Gets me: where's the beef?

--Mike Smith

8374.
Whom the gods wish to
Destroy they first make into
SPAM haiku writers.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8375.
SPAMku, trainspotting
And Pot Noodle: Welcome to
Anorak City!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8376.
SPAM, SPAM, served tonight.
You bless us with your presence.
Your goodness in us.

--Worker of Many Grocery, Spamspamspamspam@muchmorespam.com

8377.
I bought you at Kings.
Wow, I was so excited.
Hmmm? Is that a snout?

--Worker of Many Grocery, Spamspamspamspam@muchmorespam.spam

8378.
Hints of blood and guts
Tub of blubber wonderful
Goes with any meal

--James D. Rhead, Jrhead@coair.com

8379.
From guts to glory
What cruel process formed this form?
Reorganized mass

--James D. Rhead, Jrhead@coair.com

8380.
Pink, misunderstood
Glob of suffering sinews
Not unlike my brain

--James D. Rhead, Jrhead@coair.com

8381.
I can only guess
At gelatinous pig parts
I've never tried SPAM

--Jenny D.

8382.
sweet fleshy mystique
clever process undisclosed
sly pinkish swinemeat?

--duncan/patty/chris, bah!

8383.
Greasy, slimy mess.
Slippery chunks of tough meat.
SPAM? No! Jellied eel!

--James Crook, jjcrook@deakin.edu.au

8384.
"SPAM! SPAM!" it cries out
"Perverse and stupid are you!"
"Be MY valentine!"

--Todd Gifford, giffordt@tiger.hsc.edu

8385.
At Jesus's birth
The wise men brought Him three gifts:
Gold, myrhh, and SPAM spread!

--Anonymous

8386.
SUPERCALAFRA
GELISTICEXPIALA
DOTIOUSpAm RuLeS aLL

--AZB ku son

8387.
People of the world
Gather and eat SPAM tonight
It's all in good fun

--Jessica, ectasy@mailcity.com

8388.
I've not tasted SPAM
Since Carter was President
God, how I miss it!

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com

8389.
Bought a can of SPAM
for inspiration, not food.
Never touch the stuff.

--mike geraty, mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8390.
If SPAM were alive,
eating SPAM would be murder.
Thank God that it's dead!

--Scott Mathison, smathison@unitrac.com

8391.
Cafeterias
In high schools throughout our state
Serve SPAM once a week

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com

8392.
Oddly, To Serve SPAM
(A book the aliens had)
Was not a cookbook!

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com

8393.
SPAM SPAM we love you!
Pink chunks sitting on a plate.
Hot damn! We must wait...

--Spamaholics Anonymous (K.F. chapter)

8394.
On rice, or with eggs
A salty tinge on my tongue
Heaven in a can

--kent in Hawaii, sumo@hula.net

8395.
ectoplasmic meat
autumn leaves of fleshy pink
fall upon my plate

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8396.
If it weren't for SPAM
The United States would not
Have won World War Two

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com

8397.
Fox Mulder ponders
The extraterrestrial
Origin of SPAM

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com

8398.
I feel no remorse
It was already roadkill
SPAM between my treads

--Michael DeFerrari

8399.
Sudden need to eat
Encrusted SPAM on table
Not pimento loaf

--Anonymous

8400.
Your wretched masses
Yearn to join this melting pot:
Spamericanized.

--Immigration Officer


Move forwards to Numbers 8401-8500.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.