SPAM Haiku 8401-8500

Move backwards to Numbers 8301-8400.

8401.
"Be all you can be"
(Patriotic butchery...)
Uncle Spam wants you!

--Disillusioned Army Recruiter

8402.
Not enough (spam spam)
Syllables to finish (spam)
Each line (spam spam spam)...

--Struggling Poet

8403.
brief preparation
an ill-advised consumption
regurgitation

--Matthew Daughtrey, mattd@congruent.com

8404.
Ever beginning
Consumption, peristalsis
The circle of SPAM

--Matthew Daughtrey, mattd@congruent.com

8405.
dimensional food
little clouds of dancing fat
do-see-do with eggs

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8406.
thanksgiving spamkey
candied spam and spam stuffing
no one showed up. why?

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8407.
wedding day breakfast
spam and blossoms for the bride
ah, traditions. PUKE!

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8408.
gelatinous thing
sliding on its own accord
run away quickly

--Daemon Cat, armygirl@hotmail.com

8409.
Mashed up bits of pig
Shoved into a little can
Yes, you know it's SPAM!!!

--Chico Fernandez

8410.
spam tastes like dead skunks
who would eat this nasty stuff?
girls who like to puke

--Phil Winklesteen

8411.
Is it real meat, then?
Alas, I think not, mere stuff
Slides down throat like oil.

--Anonymous

8412.
Twist pin stomach grab
Scent flies like angry spirit
Weak in knees, must eat

--Anonymous

8413.
Though weak with hunger
Feel the need to twist that pin
Now twisted, regret

--Anonymous

8414.
Glisten, foolish glop
Tease me with your acrid scents
Taunt me, I will eat

--Paul Tansey, paul.tansey@bchydro.bc.ca

8415.
All workers of the
Toxic waste disposal plant
Are afraid of SPAM

--Wild T.

8416.
Bad news for Coast Guard
Colombian SPAM cartel
Means increased smuggling

--Wild T.

8417.
Black leather, blue cans
Beaten with her Cube of Meat
SPAM Dominatrix

--Wild T.

8418.
I hear crickets chirp
I hear the whippoorwill sing
I hear the SPAM cry

--Wild T.

8419.
Lost in sin city
Where all men feast upon SPAM
The Hormel orgy

--Wild T.

8420.
Things I cannot change
Pound my SPAM on a brick wall
Impotent victim

--Wild T.

8421.
Places in the world
Where you need to hoard your SPAM
It builds a nice house

--Wild T.

8422.
quivering pinkness--
childhood friend, and yet you are
indigestible

--A. Commons

8423.
SPAM infinity
I'm up to my ass in SPAM
Will it ever end?

--Jan van der Banck

8424.
SPAM on a long stick,
used as bait for piranhas.
Why won't they eat it?

--Andrew "IMP" Weinman, AAWEINMA@COE.EDU

8425.
Pink porcine pot pie
Jellied globules of pig flesh
Tin key canned heaven

--Pat Kilby, ess1960@chollian.net

8426.
How I love thee SPAM
You don't seem to give a damn
If you're slop or ham

--Pat Kilby, ess1960@chollian.net

8427.
Formula simple:
Take one cup pig SPerm, one hAM,
Glutinize, enjoy.

--Anonymous

8428.
Formula simple:
Can the jellied innards of
TV-softened skulls.

--Pat Kilby

8429.
Man the guns, Porkboy!
Shoot, shoot, spew your fusillade.
Spaminator death.

--Pat Kilby

8430.
SPAM flows through my veins
But my heart belongs to Treet
Mystery meat war

--deathmeat

8431.
tubular cousin
vienna sausage informs
spam of meat's round plan

--Thom Glidden

8432.
pornoroid image
spam protruding from anus
hemorrhoid sculpture

--Thom Glidden

8433.
nature's perfect food
lost in snowy mountains or
in sock a weapon

--Thom Glidden

8434.
"I lost my best friend"
Warm tears, falling for her dog
"Stole SPAM from my plate"

--Gabriel, kilgarin@intrepid.net

8435.
Wonder, wonder do
To understand the sound of
One SPAM a-clapping

--Narberth Mike

8436.
I I I I I
Love love love love love love love
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Mustapha Upafuzz

8437.
Forbear mystery
Published read forgotten words
Canned poetry meat

--Haezl, mariwri@cyberramp.net

8438.
SPAM is so salty.
Down in the trash can it goes.
Praise God almighty!

--Alison Wheat, alisonwheat@juno.com

8439.
Gracing the can in
Scarlet, crowned with peppercorns
(Serving suggestion)

--k.j.bourque, bourque@elo.helsinki.fi

8440.
spam is funny yes
spam giggle giggle snort snort
spam is funny yes

--Anonymous

8441.
Radioactive
SPAM has a half-life: SPAMku
Writers have no life...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8442.
Ever elusive,
Mad chef's private coup d'etat.
Pink absent entrée.

--Adam Caton

8443.
i don't want more SPAM.
bad? the stuff is horrible.
what does Hormel think?

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8444.
no one wants my SPAM
my family thinks i'm weird
it stinks in the frig

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8445.
debauch or divine?
gross or erotic? oh, SPAM,
smear some more on me.

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8446.
hands behind my back
lapping SPAM from the blue tin
my tongue in the pink

--mgeraty@atgsystms.com

8447.
Pam! How she loves SPAM!!
For breakfast, lunch and dinner
Her plate's full of SPAM

--Lauren Shaeffer-Foley, Skipp97@aol.com

8448.
Gelatinous hunk
of pink, inspires me to retch
I cannot swallow

--Anonymous

8449.
Dark Side of the FORCE
Intestinal Darth Vader
Make me poop Death Stars

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8450.
The neighbors I hate
Invite for a barbeque
SPAMBURGER for you??

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8451.
Marshmallow-like meat
Mom makes SPAM Rice Krispy squares
Death of a bake sale

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8452.
here, eat some spam, man
I can't swallow the spam, man
push it down hard, man

--the bugle-boys, marls_bar@hotmail.com

8453.
Eating SPAM won't make
You violent: I'll punch the
Man who says it does!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8454.
Ph. D. students
Search this archive for theses
On debauchery.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8455.
The howl of the wolf
Screaming eagle from above
Must have eaten SPAM

--Wild T.

8456.
Steaming hot coffee
A bowl of raw SPAM in milk
The perfect breakfast

--Wild T.

8457.
Do you want my SPAM?
Cover me in your pink meat
Lick my member clean

--Wild T.

8458.
Kryptonite and SPAM
The only two substances
That scare Superman

--Wild T.

8459.
Splatter on the wall
Random act of violence
A drive by SPAMming

--Wild T.

8460.
An act of extreme
Intestinal fortitude
Eat SPAM, no mustard

--Wild T.

8461.
I can't sleep, can't eat
My nipples are hard for you
My love is my SPAM

--Wild T.

8462.
Those who think that the
Spice Girls are great singers, think
SPAM is "Haute Cuisine"

--Wild T.

8463.
SPAMkuers beware!
All that glistens, is not SPAM.
Do not eat at Joes.

--Rodney Pinebrook

8464.
I am an artist.
A SPAMless vegan painter--
I drew a short straw.

--Vincent Van Gawk, Lend me your ear.

8465.
Found Elvis Presley
Hiding in a vast tin of
SPAM inside your heart.

--terry cuthbert, tesco.net.uk

8466.
Love indeed abounds.
In wretchedness I grovel.
SPAM: disease and cure.

--Carl

8467.
The SPAM Plate Special
arrives with trumpet fanfare.
My attorney smiles.

--Carl

8468.
Found lost Escher prints
Endless trail of SPAM feeding
On its very self

--Wild T.

8469.
Doctor Frankenstein
From his lab, he screams "ALIVE!!
My SPAM is alive!"

--Wild T.

8470.
My Hormel nightmare:
Millions of Dinty Moore and
SPAM cans. Not one key.

--Wild T.

8471.
White billowing cloud
Butterfly in frozen death
Caves of SPAM mountain

--Wild T.

8472.
Sunk in depression
Contest winner gets lifetime
Of SPAM--and I won

--Wild T.

8473.
Why are workers at
SPAM processing plant missing
Fingers and toes? ----- EEEWW!

--Wild T.

8474.
I weep for my SPAM
So pink and so innocent
Why do they hate you?

--Wild T.

8475.
A new party joke
Fill whoopie cushion with SPAM
Friends will really shit

--Wild T.

8476.
Made a new dessert
SPAM, hot fudge, whipped cream, and nuts
No one will eat it

--Wild T.

8477.
To escape Pharaoh
Moses throws SPAM on Red Sea
And the waters part

--Wild T.

8478.
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts
Dark Side Of The SPAM

--WRKSOFFART

8479.
Got one SPAM in my
Pocket, and the other one
Making a peace sign

--WRKSOFFART

8480.
The great white hunter
Fresh kill for his family
SPAM filled with buckshot

--Wild T.

8481.
And on the eighth day
The Lord said "Let there be SPAM"
It was not so good

--Wild T.

8482.
No matter the cost
No matter how great the pain
The SPAM will digest

--Wild T.

8483.
The wind has that smell
Like a pig's ass, only worse
Having SPAM for lunch

--Wild T.

8484.
Virgin sacrifice
On the altar, legs spread wide
"Eat it! Eat the SPAM!"

--Wild T.

8485.
A bite of cubed meat
I dance with demons from Hell
Oh satanic SPAM

--Wild T.

8486.
In a deep SPAM sleep
I wake to great flatulence
And diarrhea

--Wild T.

8487.
Pass the spatula
I really must flip the SPAM
It's starting to burn

--Wild T.

8488.
Sir, drop the SPAM now!
Keep your hands in the air and
Slowly back away

--Wild T.

8489.
Whole case of SPAM gone
Such a blast of noxious gas
Do NOT light a match

--Wild T.

8490.
Point of etiquette
Perplexing the greatest chefs
What wine goes with SPAM?

--Wild T.

8491.
Unscrupulous rogue
Swapped produce for SPAM. Yes, we
Have no bananas.

--L. Sheahen

8492.
Expensive bath oils?
Why waste funds? Relax whilst you
Swab yourself with SPAM.

--L. Sheahen

8493.
Substituting SPAM
In aromatherapy:
Not efficacious.

--L. Sheahen

8494.
Pink and shiny "meat"
See it wiggle, see it pulse
Defending itself

--Kepie Hamsterlicker

8495.
alone, yellow light
kitchen empty, fork in hand
i can hear the mice

--Jordan Samuels, jsamuels@neog.com

8496.
Bizarre pseudo-pork
Pink processed brick of delight
I ready my fork

--Rob "Bacon Is Better" Isaacson

8497.
Spamwich, SPAM meatballs
SPAM steak, SPAM party platters
The endless choices!

--Leah Bee, lbinabnit@umich.edu

8498.
Time flows swift and fast
The long centuries unfold
And SPAM shall live on

--Leah Bee, Linabnit@umich.edu

8499.
Mom makes pizza bread
Tries out that can way in back....
New recipe born

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8500.
Spamku, my Spamku
Off you go...join the others.
I will visit soon

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com