SPAM Haiku 8901-9000

Move backwards to Numbers 8801-8900.

8901.
Hey, Good Humor Man
I'll have SPAM-flavored ice cream
Wait, don't drive away!

--Adam Richter

8902.
Screw-up at Hormel:
My SPAM was greaseless! Glad that
I had Vaseline.

--Adam Richter

8903.
Rarely have two words
Been as poorly juxtaposed
As are "SPAM" and "LITE"

--Adam Richter

8904.
I asked this fellow
who thinks SPAM LITE's a health food,
"Wanna buy a bridge?"

--Adam Richter

8905.
Tastes great! Less filling!
Are we discussing SPAM LITE?
That crap will kill you!

--Adam Richter

8906.
SPAM LITE Haiku:
Fewer syllables
Same attitude

--Adam Richter

8907.
The man who knows what
they make SPAM out of is the
man who knows too much.

--Adam Richter

8908.
Eating too much SPAM
Is purely self-destructive
So be sure to share

--Adam Richter

8909.
SPAM is food for thought.
Check out all this SPAM haiku...
SPAM, what hath thou wrought?

--Adam Richter

8910.
Salt and fat and grease
And nobody knows what else
How CAN'T you love SPAM?!?

--Adam Richter

8911.
Screw Tamagotchi,
SPAM is my virtual pet.
Bad SPAM! I'll eat you...

--Adam Richter

8912.
Dream of a pink cube
Image of Charlton Heston
The call Soylent Pink

--David Lundry, lundryd@aurora.cwu.edu

8913.
My dog will not eat;
Husband filled her dish with SPAM.
To her, it's not food!

--Terri, delanc01@interserv.com

8914.
Row away from shore
Toss the SPAM over the bow
Anchor of my soul

--Brou

8915.
Think of distant lands
Do they have SPAM there I ask
Storm clouds gather rain

--Brou

8916.
Nummy fragrances
Turning of the weathervane
I live near Hormel

--Brou

8917.
Young politician
Runs Presidential "SPAMcain"
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

8918.
SPAM spanking hero
Elected to the White House
Pink Oval Office

--MSB

8919.
Changes on the grounds
Decorate the rose garden
With new trail of SPAM

--MSB

8920.
Young White House intern
What is that on your blue dress?
Presidential SPAM

--MSB

8921.
Fight against Iraq
Economic "SPAMbargo"
The fall of Saddam

--MSB

8922.
Scandal--Impeachment
Caught with his tool in the SPAM
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

8923.
Sylvia Plath wrote
The Bell Jar: tragic tale of
one girl and her SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8924.
Kurt Cobain wanted
to kick his SPAM habit. He
failed dismally. BOOM!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8925.
"There is SPAM or there
is death. Choose wisely, my boy,"
my grandad once said.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8926.
"All you need is SPAM,"
sang The Beatles. John Lennon
got shot. FBI?

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8927.
I get spammed weekly
by CapitalFM. Strange
"SPAM" should mean junk mail...

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8928.
"Feed me, Seymour!" "Some
SPAM, Audrey 2?" "I said, 'feed
me,' not, 'poison me'!"

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8929.
Europe--late thirties...
Adolf Hitler is on the
uprise...so is SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8930.
Bad trip... everywhere
I look, I see SPAM. I hope
that it isn't real.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8931.
The cold burn of the
strange; the alien surrounds
me...SPAM is abroad.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8932.
Christ beat temptation
for forty days. Satan stopped
using SPAM thenceforth.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8933.
Inspiration will
not hit me. SPAM can stifle
creativity.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8934.
spam sex is safe sex
gelatinous passion and
no chance of disease

--Christopher Minson, cminson@devonian.com

8935.
Cheaper than Ex-Lax
SPAM traverses intestines
In ten minutes flat

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8936.
SPAM at Olympics
eaten by U.S. hockey
sent them home early

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8937.
SPAM at Olympics
used by Austrians as wax
Maier takes the gold

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8938.
The way of the SPAM:
Honor it with haiku and
reach enlightenment.

--Anonymous

8939.
Start eating raw SPAM
off the Galleria floor.
Good way to meet chicks.

--Anonymous

8940.
Sold Microsoft stock.
With money, bought SPAM futures.
The fools call me mad!

--Anonymous

8941.
Job interview lunch:
Ordered SPAMBURGER. Licked plate.
Shoe-in at Hormel.

--Anonymous

8942.
Was fired from Hormel.
Writing SPAM haiku. They have
forgotten the way.

--Anonymous

8943.
The madness returns.
Tortured nights obsessed with SPAM.
Sure beats a wet dream.

--Anonymous

8944.
I'm many yet...just
one. I'm immortal yet...dead.
SPAM contemplation.

--Anonymous

8945.
SPAM: The hidden threat.
Blue outside but, pink inside.
Go back to Russia.

--Anonymous

8946.
Cupboards are empty
except for some SPAM. It is
a good day to die.

--Anonymous

8947.
Boss says: Stop writing
SPAM haiku! I'll show them all.
I'm going postal.

--Anonymous

8948.
Hey! This tequila
has SPAM instead of a worm.
I'll drink the water.

--Anonymous

8949.
SPAM on a cracker
served with some beer. Chicks dig it.
Caviar's for fags.

--Anonymous

8950.
Cat pissed on the rug.
Good kitty. Here, have some SPAM.
Die, kitty! Die! Die!

--Anonymous

8951.
A kid eats some SPAM
and croaks: Oh, my God! They killed
Kenny! You bastards!

--Anonymous

8952.
Man with steak cuts in
checkout line. With SPAM, I wait.
Life is so unfair.

--Anonymous

8953.
Starting college. Formed
the SPAM haiku club. Mom asks
why I have no friends.

--Anonymous

8954.
Had a date last night.
Told him I write SPAM haiku.
I had to walk home.

--Anonymous

8955.
Had a date last night.
She said she writes SPAM haiku.
Classifieds? No more!

--Anonymous

8956.
I kissed a guy who
writes SPAM haiku? Must have been
drunk. Rather kiss SPAM.

--Anonymous

8957.
SPAM haiku files found.
Wife cries she never knew me.
Secret life revealed.

--Anonymous

8958.
Look. See that guy there.
He writes SPAM haiku for fun.
Don't make eye contact.

--Anonymous

8959.
Trystero warning,
"Secret Plot Against Mailmen"
Hormel--in on it!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8960.
Young Kal-El Recalls
When Ma Kent gave him some SPAM
Worse than kryptonite!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8961.
They offered him choice:
SPAM or we tear out your tongue
He is silent, glad

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8962.
the smell of spam it
violated my nostrils
opened can, closed mouth

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8963.
Blue can rocks with mirth
Pink meat trembles at your touch:
NEW "Tickle-Me" SPAM

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8964.
Ham, bacon, sausage.
These are the gateway meats that
lead to the hard stuff.

--Anonymous

8965.
First time eating SPAM
I have never known such bliss.
Words cannot describe.

--Anonymous

8966.
Addicts prostitute
themselves for freebase SPAM. Hell,
why not. They don't care.

--Anonymous

8967.
SPAM-head gets his cash.
A yellow bulb casts light on
the dingy mattress.

--Anonymous

8968.
you, so versatile
tempt me with your easy ways
like tofu, but more

--sez

8969.
Je suis une vache, non?
Je suis un oiseau? Ah, non...
Je suis gros gourmand!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk or ultrafoetus@hotmail.com

8970.
Summer night, fried SPAM
Guests decide to leave early
I'll sleep well tonight

--Trent Lott

8971.
Again to "old pond"
SPAM falls in--schplurp!--water sound
--The fish arc to grass

--Trent Lott

8972.
JD on table,
Staring down blue coated tin.
From the shock, he dies.

--Adam Melson, montypython1@hotmail.com

8973.
Oh, to be a pig...
To roll in mud, eat at troughs,
Someday become SPAM

--Adam Richter

8974.
Lowly SPAMBURGER!
Mockery of hamburgers.
Hormel is so sick.

--Adam Richter

8975.
The metal SPAM can...
So damn close to perfection!
Sole flaw: contains SPAM.

--Adam Richter

8976.
What would have happened
If Alice, in Wonderland,
Had eaten some SPAM?

--Adam Richter

8977.
"Revenge is a dish
best served cold?" Well, SPAM is a
dish that's best not served!

--Adam Richter

8978.
1998.
Women's hockey with SPAM puck.
Nagano, Japan.

--k.i.

8979.
Trees sway in the wind,
elephant raises its trunk.
SPAM carving contest.

--k.i.

8980.
Doorstop, paperweight,
pencil holder, shoe polish.
SPAM, wonder product.

--k.i.

8981.
When ten thousand reached,
will something new be written,
or read SPAM re-treads?

--k.i.

8982.
The one can of SPAM
ignored in back of cupboard
smiling knowingly.

--k.i.

8983.
Top ripped asunder,
cruelly yanked from its abode.
No pity for SPAM.

--k.i.

8984.
Radioactive
weapon of mass destruction.
A lethal SPAM burp.

--k.i.

8985.
SPAM cooking contest
cancelled tonight because of
a lack of judges.

--k.i.

8986.
Defamed and maligned,
Hormel fights back but finds that
truth is a defense.

--k.i.

8987.
Clouds form overhead,
SPAM sandwich tastes delicious.
Must be El Niño.

--k.i.

8988.
Molecules of SPAM
seen under a microscope,
looks like small piglets.

--k.i.

8989.
Cut off my fingers,
radical lobotomy.
Stop this Spamku now.

--k.i.

8990.
John Cho, Spamku King
Collects SPAM Haiku, Pink Meat
Preserved in Archive

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8991.
spam's a great danger
when set next to dynamite
pig guts everywhere

--mental spamcase, qwerty

8992.
Squish between my toes
In my pants or in my shoes
SPAM is my kingdom

--koi, sssexy@hotmail.com

8993.
Oh, my aching pud
Am I really wasting food
Utilizing pork?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, eatspam@PORK.com

8994.
Lining of stomach
will ne'er be the same again;
eaten away, sad|

--Pressedham Don`tnap

8995.
how the pink goo squirts
SPAM the morning after hurts
Stains my pants and shirts

--Pressedham Don`t knap, Dunno@pinkmeat.com

8996.
Should I waste my life?
SPAM prose writing late at night
Never says sweet wife|

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8997.
I SHALL live my days
in utter, utter praise of
porculent snack trays.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8998.
Around the bend I've
gone again it seems to most
SPAM ode I must post

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8999.
who would waste their time
counting SPAM's syllables and
striving for a rhyme?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9000.
O meateous muse
fail me not I pray thee.....help
my flesh prose flourish.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum