SPAM Haiku 9001-9100

Move backwards to Numbers 8901-9000.


9001.
The night is young, though
I grow old. The SPAM is hot
but MY meat is cold.
--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9002.
where are you single
women? can you save me from
spam's evil clutches?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9003.
SPAM is an ingrown
pubic hair on the dick of
life. Where's my waitress?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9004.
someone help me I
can't stop immortalizing
something that is slop|

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9005.
I would love to find
a love.....true....of one SPAM mind
I'd can your behind.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9006.
SPAM with mustard sliced
On white bread, then aged in fridge--
Eggs and yes, green SPAM

--Amy Cahill, Amy.Cahill@gte.net

9007.
SPAMatazoa
In cryogenic capsules
Bide millenia.

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9008.
Ol' Sad SPAM the Pain
Makes nerve gas and anthrax bombs.
Sucking his left thumb.

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9009.
"Say 'Ah,'" said Doctor
SPAM, gripping hard my tongue, he
Turned me inside-out!

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9010.
The forest boar knows
nothing of what it means to
be SPAM. No, really.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9011.
The humble pig, his
True destiny doth achieve
In becoming SPAM.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9012.
Do these reflections
on nature cross the line from
senryuu to Spamku?

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9013.
"If eat SPAM you do
not, then become Spam you will,"
said Master Yoda.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9014.
"Eat SPAM or be SPAM.
There is no try," says Yoda
when Luke hesitates.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9015.
We are only rats
Running through a maze of SPAM
Driving us all mad

--Wild T.

9016.
A whole can of SPAM
On a dare, I swallow it
My throat is a cube

--Wild T.

9017.
I am working in
a pink cubicle, MY GOD!
I'M WORKING IN SPAM!!!

--Wild T.

9018.
Caught my teen age son
Alone, abusing his SPAM
A father so proud

--Wild T.

9019.
New restaurant with
Blue roof. It's "The Interna-
tional House of SPAM"

--Wild T.

9020.
North Atlantic cruise
The cry "SPAMberg, right ahead!"
The Titanic sinks

--Wild T.

9021.
Deep in the jungle
Where Hormel cans go to die
The Lost SPAM Graveyard

--Wild T.

9022.
the Succulent Parts
of Acrid Mammals makes my
intestines shrivel

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

9023.
Oh what I would do
for a hot steaming pile of
the canned meat called SPAM.

--Mike Barber, mbarbare@niu.edu

9024.
gristle squeezed through tube
your soul cubed with added dyes
sad, lost, tragic pig

--Jason, jacepace@nwnexus.com

9025.
SPAM I ate while young
They had to replace my tongue
SPAM, I'll have revenge

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9026.
My friend, no longer
A massive SPAM attacked them
I weep for their lives

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9027.
SPAM came from the farm
Block pigs are their origin
Block pigs, our future

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9028.
SPAM shoes are the way
A soft reflexive cushion
SPAM shoes, our future

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9029.
Caroline has none
No faith in the blueish can
She will soon be one

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9030.
I see the green SPAM
I think that it is moldy
I throw the SPAM out

--The Spaminator

9031.
Oh spammy spammy
How couldst thou leave me alone
Amongst this bacon?

--Anonymous

9032.
Obelisk of meat,
I fear your deathly presence.
Frankenstein of pork.

--k.i.

9033.
Pink, yellow, and white
breakfast colors lead me to
cardiac arrest.

--k.i.

9034.
U.N. inspectors
find SPAM in Saddam's Palace.
U.S. planes attack.

--k.i.

9035.
Burst from your fortress,
Slimy Pox Against Mankind.
Your name creates fear.

--k.i.

9036.
SPAM musubi is
Hawaiian delicacy.
They eat raw fish too.

--k.i.

9037.
Turn on computer,
check for e-mail messages,
submit SPAM haiku.

--k.i.

9038.
Keanu eats SPAM
He says it's the last time I
commit suicide.

--Lu, LIV@Ziplink.net

9039.
SPAM is pink and canned
I have to give SPAM a hand
For I'm a huge fan

--Mothra

9040.
SPAM in my cupboard
Left for archaeologists
They will judge harshly

--John, EagleR3008@aol.com

9041.
My friend gave me SPAM
As a joke birthday present
Oh...Happy Birthday

--Pam, Quizkid123@aol.com

9042.
Which is more loathsome
Tastelessly ugly blue cans
Or what lies inside?

--Kristinn Who Denies His Surname, kh46@hotmail.com

9043.
SPAM in a tin can
It smells almost like head cheese
And looks like it too

--grotz@rocketmail.com

9044.
Much like coal-mining
This wretched excuse for meat
Kills the poor slooooowly

--wille

9045.
Wicked! Unwholesome!
Dreams of wild mastication--
lips on hot pink flesh.

--wille-san

9046.
Soft gel. Yellow womb.
Protector of the pink gem--
birthed from a blue tin.

--wille-san

9047.
Gelatinous cube.
Wake the sailor inside me
with your salty meat!

--wille-san

9048.
Squishy pink meat cubes
Destroy your mind and soul, SO...
I'll have TREET instead.

--antifred@yahoo.com

9049.
So simple, and yet
complex, this poetic form
of pink meat and text.

--Kurt Bouman

9050.
In a few short lines
pink unnatural worlds live
on plate and in poem.

--Kurt Bouman

9051.
Sunrise over school.
Teacher shares Spammy haiku--
education treat.

--Kurt Bouman

9052.
"I'm your Ice Cream SPAM
Stop me when I pass you by"
Song by Spam Halen

--WKSOFFART

9053.
"Surely you don't have
sex with SPAM!" "I do, and stop
calling me Shirley."

--WKSOFFART

9054.
Writers of SPAMku
Tell detractors, "Much like SPAM,
you can just Bite Me."

--Wild T.

9055.
Put SPAMku Artist
On my resume, but still
I can't get a job

--Wild T.

9056.
Baited the rat traps
With SPAM, but to my chagrin
Rats won't touch the stuff

--Wild T.

9057.
Watching a porn flick
Man with a long cubed penis
Johnny "The SPAM" Holmes

--Wild T.

9058.
Obnoxious young brats
Only SPAM served in South Park
It explains a lot

--Wild T.

9059.
One hundred SPAM loaves
I sculpt a lovely woman
I need to get out

--Wild T.

9060.
I would swim the sea
I would walk frozen tundra
For the love of SPAM

--Wild T.

9061.
As a punishment
I ate SPAM until I puked
Done after one bite

--Wild T.

9062.
SPAM is life, my son
It uses every pig part
Nothing left to waste

--Wild T.

9063.
In the bowels of Hell
The smell of brimstone and SPAM
Repent and be saved

--Wild T.

9064.
Release my unit
And jack off with your own SPAM
Thank you very much

--Wild T.

9065.
To get buff, try the
New Eric Cartman Diet
SPAM and Cheezee Poofs

--Wild T.

9066.
I can't believe this
Has happened--I do have SPAM
Sprouting out my ass

--Wild T.

9067.
Gas pains and nausea
Hear children's laughter outside
Must warn them of SPAM

--Wild T.

9068.
Pink death in the streets
Blackness takes over the world
SPAM the Destroyer

--Wild T.

9069.
Can a guy go blind
From excessive SPAM abuse?
My vision is blurred

--Wild T.

9070.
In West Virginia
They have a new use for SPAM
They use it for food

--Wild T.

9071.
Peanuts wrapped in SPAM
With colorful candy shell
Call them "spaM & M's"

--Wild T.

9072.
Judy Garland sings
Somewhere Over The SPAMbow
It makes gay men cry

--Wild T.

9073.
Stake out at Hormel
Truckloads of SPAM are shipped out
Not one pig goes in!!?

--Wild T.

9074.
Mexican Liquor
With a pink chunk, not a worm!
"SPAMcal" Tequila

--Wild T.

9075.
When SPAM is used as
cash, we'll truly have a "Gross"
National Product

--Wild T.

9076.
The gastral abuse
The psychological scars
Shock SPAM Therapy

--Wild T.

9077.
Grandpa's now ninety.
Secret? Oatmeal each morning
and SPAM every night.

--Kurt Bouman

9078.
SPAMku in e-mail
+ Multiple recipients



Cubicle laughter
--Anonymous

9079.
Hot, fresh, musubi.
Grease burns my fingertips, but
I forget the pain.

--Anonymous

9080.
SPAM and Mountain Dew:
the secret to good coding.
Ultimate combo.

--Anonymous

9081.
Dreaming of pink meat,
Alas, I cannot taste it.
Can't open the can.

--Anonymous

9082.
Farmer John makes gruel.
Adds some SPAM. The pigs eat it.
Little do they know.

--Anonymous

9083.
Read SPAMku poems,
Couldn't stop laughing. Now I
Got a hernia.

--Anonymous

9084.
within blue hardness
gelatinous naked mass
fresh and spamtastic

--Rick Siger, dinred@aol.com

9085.
giggle giggle flub
mushy gushy tasty spam
in a nice tin tub

--bauber, not able

9086.
spam is like my dog
leaves a bad taste in your mouth
and with lots of flub

--bauber, not able

9087.
you can nuke the spam
puke the spam, still it's scary
it looks so hairy

--bauber, not able

9088.
spam, spam, spam, I am
in a box or with a fox
pam I said I am

--bauber, not able

9089.
SPAM lives alone now
Weeping for its greatest loss
Hormel tins abound

--bwuce

9090.
SPAM in time saves nine
Live and let SPAM, that's the way
The SPAM crumbles, aged

--elena180, elena180@li.net

9091.
SPAM by me, canned buy
The cheese SPAMs alone, far more
SPAM 'tis a page shunned

--elena180, elena180@li.net

9092.
Pink stuff in a box...
A meat I cannot fathom
Is this stuff kosher?

--Chyra, chyral@hotmail.com

9093.
Mr. John Glenn was
SPAM in a can. Flies through space
Burns on re-entry.

--C.L.

9094.
Shaped from memory,
pink, quivering, fleshy SPAM.
A glorious fit.

--k.i.

9095.
Whatever happened
to Miss Piggy and Arnold?
Only Hormel knows.

--k.i.

9096.
He flies deep into
The Fortress of Solitude.
Banned for life: SPAM Man.

--k.i.

9097.
Poor bald-headed SPAM.
What did they do to your hair?
Those cruel butchers.

--k.i.

9098.
From primordial
ooze emerges building blocks
of human race: SPAM.

--k.i.

9099.
Cool stillness of night,
deep silence and solitude.
SPAM burp resonates.

--k.i.

9100.
Your blank expression
belies need for affection.
To love and be loved.

--k.i.


Move forwards to Numbers 9101-9200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.