SPAM Haiku 9101-9200

Move backwards to Numbers 9001-9100.

9101.
Eat me now before
Rapture sweeps me to heaven.
SPAM, the chosen one.

--k.i.

9102.
Sitting under cold
waterfall exorcising
the demon of SPAM.

--k.i.

9103.
I fry and I fry.
Pink mucillaginous slab,
You will not turn brown.

--Thomas Dowling, tdowling@ohiolink.edu

9104.
SPAM, porcine ballast
dangling from my airborne berth
I sleep while pigs fly

--derich, derich@pittardsullivan.com

9105.
A haggard gourmet:
"Could you be the progeny...
of French truffle hogs?"

--derich, derich@pittardsullivan.com

9106.
I typed in "humor."
I got the "Spamku Archive."
A loser's rumor.

--Tom Lilly

9107.
No wonder no one
Hires college-grads any more.
Look what you're doing!

--Tom Lilly

9108.
Is that SPAM, Spamku,
Or your Clearasil I smell?
You are wretched meat.

--Tom Lilly

9109.
I would say: "Get a
life," but do I want Spamku
Geeks like you to live?

--Tom Lilly

9110.
I like frat houses.
There, all hated people dwell.
Same with this archive.

--Tom Lilly

9111.
Dante dared hell's stench.
Spamku is my inferno,
you, the shit-eaters.

--Tom Lilly

9112.
Say why SPAM is like
Monica Lewinsky's lips
Both are pink, and suck

--whaarfrat

9113.
my queer mantra: oink...
echoes through your fragrant shrine
kiss the pink adobe

--sticky

9114.
The green eggs and SPAM
Satan satan satan meat
Grizzly Addams SPAM

--Rusty, jennifer.aldrich@digxpr.com

9115.
spam a tin of food
looking pink and faintly rude
the taste does you good

--dave slade

9116.
I fed my cat SPAM
She refused her pink dinner
The cat got thinner

--dave slade

9117.
2022:
Austin Winter Olympics--
Hurling, not curling.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9118.
SPAMkuists, bear in
Mind the phrase "De mortuis
Nil nisi bonum."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9119.
Black rights--Black Panthers;
Elderly--Grey Panthers; SPAM
Eaters--Pink Panthers!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9120.
Dilbert's revenge: he
Writes SPAMku in work time and
He still gets paid. YES!!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9121.
Alien book is
finally translated--its
title: To Serve SPAM.

--Anonymous

9122.
I saw my brother
Standing on the quiet beach
Eating sandy SPAM

--T. Fudd Pucker-Tucker, ndu75@aol.com

9123.
They fight: "SPAM, spiced ham
best eaten with spoon!" "No, fork!"
I say use a spork.

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

9124.
CRACK sound: can opens!
UGH! sound: the nose smells it too!
Response: mouth slams shut!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

9125.
Reading and writing
SPAM-ku is as bad for you
as eating the stuff.

--Larry Moo

9126.
Artificial birth,
Undiscriminating egg--
And a SPAM doner

--rbu

9127.
North wind and south wind
Each broods its own preserved death
Men say: SPAM and TREET

--rbu

9128.
Horse eyes and boar heads
Blenderized to a pulpy!
Swallow these yummies!

--Billy Bob Choochoo, no thank you@poo_poo.com

9129.
rapacious raptors
consuming big lardy chunks
SPAM is the result

--Billy Bob Choochoo, anomynous

9130.
Il fait froid dehors
Le feu s'est déjà éteint
La fièvre réchauffe bien

--szg@hotmail.com

9131.
Does SPAM float or sink?
Only one way to find out
as I cross the stream.

--k.i.

9132.
Mad Cow Disease, AIDS,
Toxic Shock Syndrome, Anthrax,
Cancer, Sarin, SPAM.

--k.i.

9133.
Dear Hormel: Sell me
the rights to make SPAM piggy
bank and paper weight.

--k.i.

9134.
Is that really all
of Miss Piggy or did she
just have a SPAM job?

--k.i.

9135.
What is the reason
for pork barrel politics?
Uncle Spam at work.

--k.i.

9136.
Put SPAM bait in trap
to entice starving vermin.
Mice looking for food.

--k.i.

9137.
"Martini--shaken,
not stirred. And a SPAMBURGER!"
...early Bond faux pas.

--Adam Richter

9138.
Oliver Twist, in
an orphanage, given SPAM:
"Please, sir, not so much!"

--Adam Richter

9139.
"Blood sucks! I crave SPAM,
the lunch meat of the undead!"
declared the SPAMpire

--Adam Richter

9140.
Red sky, earthquakes, floods,
ten thousand SPAMku...signs of
the apocalypse

--Adam Richter

9141.
Homer Simpson meal:
Duff beer, pork rinds, candy bars.
SPAM? Too unhealthy!

--Adam Richter

9142.
At Senate hearings
The truth is finally out
Clinton gave her SPAM

--Anonymous

9143.
I look for pictures
Many SPAM pictures I got
On the newsgroup list

--CT

9144.
SPAM has performed an
illegal operation
and will be shut down.

--k.i.

9145.
In San Francisco
SPAM at Japantown Denny's
Hawaiian breakfast

--Andy Chapman

9146.
Lick SPAM from the floor
Slap it--it sticks on the door
Come to MAMA, SPAM

--Jed, bigbum@home.com

9147.
SPAM's a lovely food,
though SPAM is not good for me.
I'll give it to you.

--Jared Crookston

9148.
Amazing it is...
A pink solid with gel-like
properties...called SPAM...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9149.
What nutrients in
the SPAM may be extracted
for personal use?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9150.
SPAM, SPAM, magical
meat, the more you eat, the more
you...uhh...more you...eat.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9151.
SPAM, root of evil.
It must be Beelzebub's work.
Stay away from it.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9152.
enigmatic brick
Shackelton wished he had some
expedition treat

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9153.
phlogopite proxy
heterogeneous pile
are you edible?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9154.
jiggle on my plate
like octopus in tide pool
pink slag from Hades

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9155.
strangely attractive
pink parallelopiped
why do I like it?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9156.
breakfast lunch dinner
Curly Howard of the meats
entertaining food

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9157.
gelatinous mass
pink morsel for sunrise meal
how can I stand it?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9158.
SPAM can neither be
Created nor demolished:
What an enigma!

--Joe Frick, jrf@amlist.com

9159.
watching rotting spam
hours of internet pleasure
does it decompose?

--Rainer 'Cheri' LeFebvre, Poppacheri@aol.com

9160.
i know how spam sits
chillin' like rabid villain
it can't leave the can

--Rainer 'Cheri' LeFebvre, Poppacheri@aol.com

9161.
My kingdom for some
SPAM is a four letter words
Are not my forte

--David Collins, dcollins@sd.znet.com

9162.
Wayne Gretzky's nose is
Too large and ugly. It should
be replaced with SPAM.

--AntiGretzky, dariarules@juno.com

9163.
Labeedobeedooooooooooooooooooooooo
SPAM is wiggly and jiggly
I shall now vomit

--AntiGretzky, dariarules@juno.com

9164.
Dennis Rodman's hair
is yellow, green, red, or blue
but never SPAM pink.

--Anonymous

9165.
Krzysztof Oliwa
Drops the gloves with block of SPAM
SPAM engulfs his hands

--Krzysztof is the coolest name

9166.
You people are sick
Writing about fucking SPAM
You made me vomit

--Anonymous

9167.
We used SPAM with sex.
It was a good birth control.
Oops, the stick turned blue!

--Anonymous

9168.
I jumped off my roof.
I landed on blocks of SPAM.
I bounced right back up.

--Chef, dariarules@juno.com

9169.
If SPAM played tennis,
Maybe its best player's name
would be Pete SPAMras.

--SPAMsports

9170.
SPAM is on my mind
It is all I think about
It must be brain food

--Allie

9171.
spam is perfection
cannot be improved upon
cannot be made worse

--mike, drjin@aol.com

9172.
SPAM is alien
E.T. loves that rotten stuff
They should get married

--Yippy

9173.
SPAMdex is so cool
Richard Simmons loves it so
He wears it a lot

--return of SPAMdex

9174.
SPAM for TP, mmm
Rotten SPAM for TP, mmm
Eat it while you crap

--TP SPAM

9175.
Hey, where's all the SPAM?
All I see's a friggin' moose!
What's going on here?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9176.
I don't eat my SPAM.
It just might corrupt my mind.
Hitler ate his SPAM...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9177.
Bountiful, heaving,
mouth-watering mounds of flesh.
It's Spam Anderson.

--k.i.

9178.
Can of SPAM and box
of baking soda conspire
to become useful.

--k.i.

9179.
Third string quarterback
warming bench, reading playbook.
Can of SPAM rusting.

--k.i.

9180.
Moral citizens
Say "Ban SPAM" but abusus
Non tollit usum.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9181.
Is SPAM horse eyeballs?
Or is SPAM dog and cat guts?
Maybe it is both.

--Derek Brinkley

9182.
Assassination!
The real foods whisper darkly--
plotting SPAM's demise

--wille-san

9183.
Wilderness sunrise--
color of 99 SPAMs
I envy the blind

--wille-san

9184.
Zeno's paradox
When applied to half a SPAM
is TERROR defined!

--wille-san

9185.
The monks of Lhasa
have no sex, drugs, booze, or SPAM.
Happy little guys...

--wille-san

9186.
what utter madness
unknown parts of unknown beasts
sit upon store shelves

--mike fink, miketmbg@aol.com

9187.
out of the blue: spam
licking the spam gelatin
woe is spam is me

--claudette, kotabaru@eden.rutgers.edu

9188.
Everyone love SPAM
SPAM is the greatest ever
Everyone love SPAM

--Stephanie, amcd@bc.sympatico.ca

9189.
Canned mass of pink slime
Calmly waiting on the shelf
For its next victim.

--Jareb Barcus, beraj@hotmail.com

9190.
I felt sick one day.
I ate some SPAM to soothe me.
It made me feel worse.

--Jareb Barcus, beraj@hotmail.com

9191.
For nutrition's sake
Lives given unselfishly
Anonymously

--Pete Rendich

9192.
Human engineers
can make a pig greater than
the sum of its parts.

--Pete Rendich

9193.
Cold Hawaii morning.
"Da Locals" favorite foods:
SPAM, rice, and fried eggs!

--R. MOTOGAWA, RMOTO@HOTMAIL.COM

9194.
Pig government claims,
"No more pigs will starve this year!"
Answer: Soylent Pink.

--Pete Rendich

9195.
Object of desire
Within the 808 State:
Enigma indeed

--John Spitzer, spit@sgi.com

9196.
Why is SPAM so pink?
I need some more SPAM jelly!
You gonna eat that?

--Anonymous

9197.
O SPAM, what am I
but a connoisseur of thou--
mayo on the side...

--Anonymous

9198.
Luscious and shiny
Cool to touch, a bit slimy
Easily slides down

--Anonymous

9199.
Spamnambulistic;
frying SPAM that's baby Pam?
I wake up screaming!

--Greg Smith, FKindler @ Netcom.com

9200.
Why am I called SPAM?
They don't know what I'm made of...
I'm mystery meat!

--Don S., koth@csrlink.net