SPAM Haiku 9201-9300

Move backwards to Numbers 9101-9200.

9201.
Pigs eat anything
except SPAM. Non-cannibals
and intelligent.

--k.i.

9202.
In a desolate
cabin, found ten year old SPAM.
Still good and still bad.

--k.i.

9203.
Shipwrecked on island,
case of SPAM drifts to the shore.
Make raft, look for food.

--k.i.

9204.
Palouse addiction:
I crouch, hidden by wheatfields,
and slurp down sweet SPAM.

--Kurt Bouman

9205.
Dining in Paris
SPAM on the Champs-Elysees:
Vraiment deguellasse!

--Kurt Bouman

9206.
SPAM comes in a tin
SPAM is covered in jelly
SPAM tastes like dog shit

--Anonymous

9207.
Try SPAM to write 'ku?
Rather write my own obit.
Some choice. Same result.

--Anonymous

9208.
Why SPAM ku? Jerky,
Pork rind, crack dealers relieved,
Though vaguely jealous.

--Anonymous

9209.
SPAM ku confuses
Hormel? No surprise. Union
Busting, poems don't mix.

--Anonymous

9210.
SPAM ku pathetic.
Scared to speak at meetings too?
Post Dilbert on cube.

--Anonymous

9211.
Imagination
Wasted on SPAM ku. Why not
Fight real injustice?

--Anonymous

9212.
So thick and juicy,
Perfect with lettuce and cheese,
SPAM rocks the lunch world!

--Nichole

9213.
Reluctant I am
the plate of SPAM in my face.
The rave makes no sense

--hyroglifik, hyroglifik@hotmail.com

9214.
do not hate the spam
her beauty is in life's lunch
o brave silent meat

--omi

9215.
grasses of summer--
of brave warriors' SPAM, they
are all that remains

--A.Commons, aec24@columbia.edu

9216.
even this grass hut,
in an ever-changing world
may hold hoarded SPAM

--A. Commons, aec24@columbia.edu

9217.
fleas and lice do bite,
horse pisses by my pillow--
why do I think SPAM?

--A. Commons, aec24@columbia.edu

9218.
how silent it is--
sinking deep into the SPAM,
the cicada's cry

--A. Commons, aec24@columbia.edu

9219.
SPAM torn from its can,
I leave you for Futami;
autumn too departs

--A. Commons, aec24@columbia.edu

9220.
SPAM. Pink and oval.
You buy it at the Mobil.
Made in Chernobyl.

--Save ferris

9221.
SPAM, mystery slime;
Treet, grandiose luncheon gak.
Oh, how I love thee.

--Sgt. Spanky, jpsprfreak@aol.com

9222.
I open a can
Of the wonderful product
SPAM and cook it up

--Kelly, none of your business

9223.
spam, a deeper love
why can't i live without spam
i need spam right now

--Redentor Casanova

9224.
sit in noxious fumes
haunted by ghost of SPAMs past
consume SPAM no more

--Redentor Casanova

9225.
The prerequisite:
Floppy, conjealed jellyfish.
Oleo never.

--Spamspeare, ben_weaver@capehs.cape.K12.me.us

9226.
Molded to can's shape
Heroic chunk battles teeth
Ends a salty mush

--RNC, ursula@pacbell.net

9227.
Apocalypse comes.
Civilization destroyed.
Only SPAM is spared.

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9228.
Future diggers find
petrified processed pork parts.
A pink time capsule.

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9229.
Gelatinous goo
Your subliminal power
Urges me to bowl

--adam juntunen, ajuntunen@fsi-intl.com

9230.
New SPAMARONI
The San Fernando treat, yum!
Try SPAMARONI

--ChumbaSPAMwamba, dgjhgfvjhgfvjdh

9231.
Poor M.C Hammer
He is now M.C Spammer
I pity him much

--SPAM T.V.

9232.
i am very sad
my friend typed in spam jabber
she is a weenie

--SPAM T.V.

9233.
SPAM came from heaven
It descended into hell
It will come again...

--SPAM T.V.

9234.
Oh SPAM is the light
Oh holy SPAM forgive me
I ate too much TREET!

--SPAM T.V.

9235.
I love thee sweet SPAM
I don't care if he is meat
He is my pink love!!!

--SPAMbadextrose

9236.
Oh mighty king SPAM
We cower in your pinkness
Save us from your wrath

--SPAMbadextrose

9237.
SPAM is everywhere
Love SPAM, nurture SPAM, keep SPAM
And you must eat SPAM

--The teacher of the word of SPAM

9238.
Thou must love thy SPAM
Eat thy healthy hunk of SPAM
Love one another

--The teacher of the word of SPAM

9239.
Love thy holy SPAM
Treat it as you treat yourself
Love thy loving SPAM

--The teacher of the word of SPAM

9240.
Damn! The ring broke off!
Now it'll never open
'til I get my gun.

--Anonymous

9241.
Screw proper food groups!
Mom was never right about
my life anyway!

--Anonymous

9242.
When SPAM's set afire
It pops and crackles loudly
Toxic cloud rises

--Anonymous

9243.
INTERNET BURNOUT
IT DARES ME CRAVE THE PINK CAVE
OF CHILDHOOD LOVE......SPAM

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9244.
pretty meat treats swirl
in the blender`s sweet, sweet world
porcine paste unfurled

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9245.
more SPAM would I use
`twere not for fear, I would meet
DEATH on craggy CAN

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9246.
SPAM and E-Coli
hath such twinkle upon eye
why fear my life I?

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9247.
Some one told me true
I swear...SPAM is made from the
Old tampons of CHER

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9248.
NO WONDER!!!!! says I
SONNY would ski into tree
Before eating SPAM

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9249.
Tammy Wynette, Lord
Facin' The Great Pork Heaven
Standin' By Her SPAM

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9250.
Fab or Rob I ask
Which Silli Millie like SPAM
Lies lifeless tonight?

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9251.
Who could LOVE me now
that years of eating SPAM have
turned me into COW.

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9252.
I strive to be man
Not eat crap from funky can
I eat what I am

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9253.
Dow Crash Imminent(?)
Instinct to survive .......stocks: DEATH
SPAM and GUNS survive

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9254.
On yon Internet
Be there fair maiden frothy
For SPAM porno date?

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9255.
Monica......Oh ....GOD.....
Your gaping SPAMMY rictus
Good for quick fixes.......

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9256.
Whoops! I forgot to
stick to SPAM haiku... What an
ASS I've turned into.

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9257.
No one cares Prest Ham......
What you think you am GODDAMN
EAT SPAM LIKE A MAN!!!!

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9258.
VEGETARIAN
You Pussy boy Mr. MOM
SPAM will make you MAN

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9259.
SPAM can not heal a
broken vessel but it feels
good when rubbed on one!

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9260.
Whew! My social grace
is in jeopardy when I
write Spameous prose.

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9261.
`Tis time to stop this
folly when say I "Golly
look at the SPAM time!!!!!!"

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9262.
Hillary I think
of your lonely nights and then.......
I take SPAM in hand..........

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9263.
If only Bill were
more of a man he would more
LOVE your SPAM-like gland.

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9264.
when Bill woke up .....it
was a "Chelsea morning" ......the
first thing on his SPAM......

--PRESSEDHAM DONTKNAP, docyoga@aol.com

9265.
So pink, so salty
You taunt me from your blue can
A pull tab away

--John Tuttle, Jdtutgb@aol.com

9266.
Place Salsa on SPAM
Yo Quiero Taco Bell
Spamito Supreme

--adalton

9267.
While we ingest SPAM
Our internal organs are
Waving the white flag

--mike fink, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9268.
SPAM must be good, for
"Weird Al" wrote a song 'bout it
And praised its nature

--mike fink, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9269.
Lovely and pink, you
glisten in the morning sun.
SPAM, I adore thee.

--wombatbob

9270.
Once there was a boy
He liked to eat lots of SPAM
May he rest in peace

--Mike Fink, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9271.
Hi my name is Tad.
When I don't have SPAM I'm sad.
When I do I'm glad.

--Tad Dunbar

9272.
Why Tad likes canned SPAM
Compare thee to a fine wine
I collect them both

--Tad

9273.
I can't eat the stuff.
I'm a vegetarian.
Phil wrote this haiku!

--Phil Scroggs, phil.scroggs@mindspring.com

9274.
a lifetime of SPAM
there's no need to be embalmed
mummification

--MIKEYLIKESIT, drjin@aol.com

9275.
Wipe away my tears
I opened a new SPAM can
And found it empty

--Wild T.

9276.
I open the SPAM
I ask the SPAM about Love
The SPAM just sits there

--Wild T.

9277.
I open the SPAM
I ask the SPAM about War
The SPAM just sits there

--Wild T.

9278.
I open the SPAM
I ask the SPAM about Life
The SPAM just sits there

--Wild T.

9279.
The SPAM opened up
It asked me about Mustard
I then shit myself

--Wild T.

9280.
Candles and Roses
Condoms and a SPAM woman
That boy needs some help

--Wild T.

9281.
Trapped in SPAMku hell
Uncle Jay, Geoff Holme, SOMEONE!!!
Please try to save me!

--Wild T.

9282.
Honey, help me out
Is there some reason we have
SPAM in the tape deck?

--Wild T.

9283.
New fat removal
Liposuction by Hormel
SPAM productions rise

--Wild T.

9284.
New Fraternity
Brothers in the blue house of
SPAM Beta Kappa

--Wild T.

9285.
Edge of starvation
Should I take SPAM or take death
Like I really care

--Wild T.

9286.
"Hey, show us your SPAM!"
A Mardi Gras catch phrase that
Never quite caught on

--Wild T.

9287.
SPAM turned out to be
Just the remedy for my
Ugly athlete's foot

--Wild T.

9288.
Got all liquored up
Ended up with a tattoo
Of SPAM on my ass

--Wild T.

9289.
What makes them do this?
Pink loaves up and down the shore
The SPAM beach themselves

--Wild T.

9290.
The slick jelly lube
My tongue flicks your hot pinkness
Let my SPAM fill you

--Wild T.

9291.
Something wasn't right
With the SPAM I had last night
It burns when I pee

--Wild T.

9292.
Though smooth at first glance,
Like the frailty of our lives,
So SPAM is porous.

--B.W.F.

9293.
If one can not say
Anything good about SPAM,
Say bad things instead!

--DorkFace, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9294.
The dumbest sentence
Would undoubtedly include
SPAM and hairy gas

--DorkFace, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9295.
Where could Ruben be?
The keyboard player is there,
Signing chunks of SPAM.

--DorkFace, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9296.
When all's said and done
The battle will have been won
By knights with SPAM swords

--DorkFace, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9297.
Many are hungry
Yet, the needs of the many
Still don't warrant SPAM

--DorkFace, MikeTMBG@tmbg.org

9298.
Son, fear the pink meat.
Where it goes, evil's not far.
Tell this to your kids.

--Andrew Sbanotto, antifred@yahoo.com

9299.
I can't believe it!
The new SPAM can, a blue void!
Like my broken heart!

--james, simply james

9300.
"Wow, am I starving"
SPAM is hastily prepared
"I'm not hungry now"

--Alex L., farfromuzin@mindless.com