SPAM Haiku 9301-9400

Move backwards to Numbers 9201-9300.

9301.
I sure could eat now
SPAM is sliced and then plated
That is not a food

--Alex, farfromuzin@mindless.com

9302.
SPAM gets no respect.
Everyone makes fun of SPAM.
Cries itself to sleep.

--Spam Advocate

9303.
Gertrude Lawrence said
That SPAM is just like Oakland
There is no there there

--mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

9304.
Total peace can be
Achieved through this substance, SPAM.
Waste not! And want not!

---buddha-, -buddha-@geocities.com

9305.
Oh cubes of pink meat(?),
dunked in melted grape sweetness,
barbecued, too.....mmmmmm.

--Adele

9306.
Spamcense fills the room
Spicy aromas arouse
No one's there to watch

--Paul, opaulba@hotmail.com

9307.
ding-a-ling-a-ling
oh boy here comes the spam truck
poor misled children

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9308.
if you eat healthy
do not attempt to eat spam
or you will explode

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9309.
Enigmatic SPAM
I wish I knew what you are
What parts of the oink?

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9310.
spam is tasty but
it is better when you eat
it with stomach pills

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9311.
"The Blue Danube" in
Spamese: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM rest.

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9312.
Pink, slimy meat block,
origins dimly perceived
like the winter's morn!

--Anonymous

9313.
Why, oh jellied pork
Does your sodium tempt me
Salt-lick of my soul.

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9314.
Quivering pink blob
Sucking gulp, plops on the plate
College student eats

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9315.
A twist of the key
SPAM anticipates my teeth
Door to paradise

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9316.
I guess that SPAM is
squelchy salty gelatin?
Some kind of pink meat.

--Valkyrie

9317.
Colonists on Mars
open their supplies: "What? SPAM!?"
Sever ties with Earth.

--Anne Commons

9318.
Latest probe findings:
Great SPAM Spot on Jupiter.
NASA is perplexed.

--Anne Commons

9319.
Neil, Walter, and Jack
Processed, recycled "humor"
The SPAM Couple II

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9320.
We open Starr's can
No real evidence inside
The label says "SCAM"

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9321.
The great ship has sunk
Floating survivors find SPAM
Screams fill the dark night

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9322.
crisp mountain morning
eagles soar in the sunlight
SPAM and beans on grill

--fat mylo, fatmylo@worldnet.att.net

9323.
Spammaster John Cho
hope you have a paying job
sick motherfucker

--fat mylo

9324.
New British pop group
Playing bland, pre-fab garbage.
They are the SPAM Girls.

--Adam Richter

9325.
David Copperfield
in most popular trick yet
makes SPAM disappear!

--Adam Richter

9326.
Oh, horrid lunchmeat!
Who could possibly love you?
Cardiologists!

--Adam Richter

9327.
Medical breakthrough:
SPAM-derived drug cures disease...
SPAMOXICILLIN

--Adam Richter

9328.
From Wargames sequel:
"Strange food! The only winning
move is not to eat."

--Adam Richter

9329.
In the far future
when Pop Rocks are just a myth
there will still be SPAM.

--Adam Richter

9330.
Potted meat product
It does taste like dog food smells
SPAM is liberty

--Anonymous

9331.
My dogs ask for SPAM.
Their voices ring in my head.
I am Son of SPAM.

--Mike Abee

9332.
Mankind has ravaged,
and the gods would strike us down,
if it weren't for SPAM.

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9333.
Shaking sweating mess.
My arm riddled with SPAM tracks.
I need my SPAM fix!

--Mike Abee

9334.
I made a Buick
Out of delicious SPAM Lite
It leaves a pink trail

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9335.
I switched your coffee
with new, improved freeze-dried SPAM.
Here, spew into this!

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9336.
Wild SPAM, come to me!
Sacrifice your pink meat chunks
to my appetite.

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9337.
SPAM-a-thon runners
Quicken pace on Heartbreak Hill
To the victor--SPAM!

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9338.
A noxious pink dream
Massive mound of mucilage
SPAM upon my plate

--Brian C Bartley (aka Dr. SPAM), BCBartley@integrityonline.com

9339.
SPAM rests neglected
Pink masquerades as protein
Succulent alone

--Dr. SPAM, Sunk N Jellytin@nointegrityspamline

9340.
TITANIC sunken:
The CAN rests in wat'ry grave
More PINK pulp fiction

--BCB (Dr. SPAM), Sunk N Jellytin@nointegritySPAMline

9341.
Gelatinous goo
Soaking through white bread sandwich
Third grade memory

--CNewby, CNewby@aol.com

9342.
Inspiration failed
Strauss. He ate SPAM then came up
With The Blue Canube.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9343.
SPAM's an anagram
Or is that an anaSPAM?
Of Pam's, amps, and maps.

--Zed the Snail

9344.
People who eat SPAM
Must have SPAM for brains and eat
It 'cause it's brain food.

--Zed the Snail

9345.
I should be reading;
instead, I turn on Netscape
and write lines for SPAM.

--Andrew 'IMP' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9346.
A previous life;
Trapped in a blue can--squishy.
My fate was a fork.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9347.
Such a strange fetish,
this fetish for spam--spamming
does not turn me on.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9348.
Depressed; lingering;
my heart a moist can of SPAM,
waiting to be mocked.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9349.
Reading Brighton Rock.
Distracted by this haiku;
Why SPAM, of all things?

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9350.
I refuse the can!
SPAM is dead, dammit! DEAD! DEAD!
A blue can coffin.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9351.
I see a Hormel
delivery truck and I
blow it to pieces.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9352.
I like chicken I
like liver Meow Mix Meow Mix
please deliver SPAM.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9353.
SPAM is "so good, it's
gone" but what if it was not
ever there? No SPAM?

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9354.
Drunk guy jumps into
a big vat of SPAM and says
"I'm drowning in SPAM!"

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9355.
Bart eats a can of
SPAM and throws up everywhere
Nelson says "Ha Ha"!

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9356.
When we die and go
to Heaven is SPAM one of
the main cuisines there?

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9357.
Pig, cow, horse, or duck:
it will take a lot of luck
to see what SPAM is.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9358.
To digest the SPAM
make a hole in your stomach
and drop in the SPAM.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9359.
Crazy seventies
People say "burn baby burn"
SPAM-o inferno

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9360.
Oh, soylent pink meat.
My bowels cry for your lube.
Like shit through a goose.

--Michael Abee, mike.abee@uniontrib.com

9361.
What's beneath the lid?
Cornucopia of pig.
The SPAM beckons me.

--Michael Abee, mike.abee@uniontrib.com

9362.
SPAM je dobra vec
kedykolvek zelena
staci len chciet

--lizard, lizard@post.sk

9363.
Mammoth PINK dreaming
With GELATIN a-streaming
People are SCREAMing

--bcbartley, bbartley@integrityonline.com

9364.
Just ONE CAN per day...
"ENOUGH!", you certainly say;
The Doctor will stay.

--bcbartley, Dr. Spam@acanaday.com

9365.
hi chemistry class
spam in an experiment
watch lab disappear

--Anonymous

9366.
Pink and rubbery
Like one of those erasers
But you can eat it

--Anonymous

9367.
SPAM the powerful
Housed in a can of pure tin
Lunchmeat of the gods

--mike, Misha731@aol.com

9368.
SPAM tastes very good
SPAM uses pig ears, cow eyes
SPAM tastes very good

--Michael, knac@worldnet.att.net

9369.
Spam the universe
The Borg is but just one Pork
Byproducts are whole

--Gort, rdaxton@worldnet.att.net

9370.
Monkey's fling their poo.
In lunch room children throw SPAM.
It's devolution!

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9371.
Last man on the Earth.
Nothing left but porn and SPAM.
Life hasn't changed much.

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9372.
SPAM, wherefor art thou
In thy can you call to me
Poison is thy name

--Sue, Eatsalot@spam.yeech

9373.
vomiting on you
pink chunks of meat by-product
once again, you lose

--Anonymous

9374.
SPAM in the morning
Gotta run off to work now
Dead before lunchtime

--Anonymous

9375.
watching and waiting
seemingly innocent SPAM
wants your soul or else!

--Anonymous

9376.
my sculpture is pink
oozing with salty goodness
a spam masterpiece

--Thomas Kircher, tom@ackphft.matsu.alaska.edu

9377.
SPAM--adaptive meat?
Fitness function undefined;
Pure chaos beauty.

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9378.
Someone on "Tonight"
Will try to make SPAM cheesecake
April 29th

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9379.
Kenny got eaten
"Oh my god, SPAM killed Kenny!
You bastard!" yelled Kyle

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9380.
we hate spam, it's gross
becoming suicidal
while on the toilet

--haters of spam

9381.
"What's for dinner, Mom?"
Some SPAM is now shown to all.
"Thanks, Mom. You're the best !"

--MASTER O, oyusuf@hotmail.com

9382.
O.J. says he did
not do it but is dying
for his SPAM back now.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9383.
Paula Jones says she
was sorry, wishes Bill lots
of SPAMMY dreams. Whee!

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9384.
Someone please tell me
Is there Olestra in SPAM?
Save my leaking ass!

--Matt Scheidler, matthew_scheidler@jdedwards.com

9385.
Xenu nukes SPAM in
Volcanoes--the first draft of
Hubbard's OT3.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@igs.net

9386.
Kurt Cobain told us
that it smells like teen spirit.
SPAM smells like dogfood.

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9387.
no malnutrition
I have two cases of SPAM
oh, my salvation

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9388.
a soft pink inside
the hard blue steel container
is male or female?

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9389.
new Ultra Slimfast
the shakes at breakfast and lunch
of liquefied SPAM

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9390.
whirrr! goes my blender
the SPAM chunks fly everywhere
glorious pink mess

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9391.
some SPAM and Pink Floyd:
perhaps unknown connection?
Dark Side of the Food

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9392.
marbled pink substance
of SPAM resembles granite--
about as tasty

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9393.
alone, late at night
my hand demands some action
I go find some SPAM

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9394.
my obsession for
the Holy Pink Food surpassed
by SPAMku only

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9395.
restaurant, on date
I order some SPAM for us
have girlfriend no more

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9396.
I wake up slowly
The cabinets, full of SPAM
God, what have I DONE?

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9397.
Lying on the floor
Empty SPAM cans surround me
I think I'll die now

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9398.
Run away in fear
Pink demon stalking behind
Oh sweet Lord, spare me!

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9399.
Surface of the moon
Pink monolith stands silent
A SPAM Odyssey

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9400.
On a balcony
Hungry student in school play
Wherefor art thou, SPAM?

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com