SPAM Haiku 9901-10000

Move backwards to Numbers 9801-9900.

9901.
CATCH CRABS USING SPAM
Bag ladies do it for food
Trade your SPAM for sex

--Belinda Baglady, Sallies.Army.netted

9902.
No SPAM for the poor
Only in America
Let them drink foodstamps!

--The Gov., robUall@once

9903.
Pork-barreled rummies
All line their pockets with SPAM
Your SPAM and my SPAM

--Newt Dinkridge, U gotta no it

9904.
Porcophageous.
Redundant, inane, silly!
Man, I hate SPAMku.

--SPAMka Ka, johnny@the.spot

9905.
Porky Pig was Spammed
Met him on a slice of bread
Da Deee! That's all folks!

--Insect Rabbit, luvsmyspam@pm

9906.
Pot-bellied pig pet,
Comes with its own blue playpen.
Get one for your kids.

--Pig's Tie, anonymous

9907.
Syllables of SPAM
Sprinkled over pink pages
Stomach graffitti

--Type Tripe, traders55@aol.com

9908.
Congratulations!
Spamku is rising once more
Pfizerless riser

--Deadeyed Dick, anon.

9909.
Lead in your pencil?
More Oomph in your flaccid Stoomph?
SPAM stiffs Viagra!

--I.M. Potent

9910.
Recycled hog parts
Predigested squeal filet
Say grace and eat.....SPAM!

--Thank You For Your Time, Amen

9911.
Big Bertha golf club
Carved out of a block of SPAM
All golfers eat it

--Retrosport, trappers662aol.com

9912.
Louise shakes her can
and everything else at hand.
Was it blue before?

--Louise Woodyward, killerLouise@uk.nut

9913.
Oh no, stop Louise!
Shake that little can, we said.
You spammed the baby.

--Louise Please, anonUK

9914.
Yuppies don't eat SPAM,
It's too easy to pronounce.
They marry their SPAM.

--Aunt Tillie, Tiel@aol.com

9915.
Phil Hartman, too bad....
"I'll never eat SPAM again,"
Last words to his wife.

--Gondiga Gomes, gondiga@tvnet.com

9916.
America! SPAM,
Deviled eggs, Cheez Whiz, Twinkies,
Biscuits, and gravy.

--Uncle Sammy, anon.

9917.
But do you love SPAM?
(The honeymoon is over.)
Yes, I still love SPAM!

--Acronymouse, Anonymouse

9918.
SPAM goes with mayo,
Like hot sauce goes with beaver.
Leave your SPAM alone!

--Uncle Judd, None

9919.
Try as though I may,
I cannot eat SPAM tonight.
We're out of barf bags.

--Momentito, lyle@radionet.com

9920.
Submitted SPAMku.
I'm awaiting anxiously
For it to repeat.

--Re: Peter, pete@hudnet.com

9921.
The new Fat-Free SPAM.
I opened the can and found....
A small pink raisin.

--Fat free SPAMku, n/a

9922.
The girl from Iran
Never did read the Koran
But did love her SPAM

--rich077@flash.net

9923.
My mom fed me SPAM
long before I ever heard
of Monty Python.

--Leslie Sterling, sterling@law.harvard.edu

9924.
Iron Butterfly
Ina Gadda da Vida
I Love you Spammy

--odelphi@interserv.com

9925.
Truman Capote
Wrote "In Cold Blood" eating SPAM
He became a drunk

--odelphi@interserv.com

9926.
Egyptologist
Finds hieroglyphics in tomb
Translates, "Eat More SPAM"

--Anonymous

9927.
Darkness covers earth
SPAM looms large in the distance
Men cower in fear

--Scott Dickison, sdickison@fmsmeng.com

9928.
Friday after lunch.
Eyelids low. SPAM not at work.
My brain fills with pork.

--Anonymous

9929.
sea salt, creamy fat
slickly slide, pillowy plop.
edible or pet?

--foehn

9930.
jelly bellies pink;
issuers of oink and grunt.
blue steel coffin, rest.

--foehn

9931.
happy in muddy
waddle to meaty demise
buried in blue steel

--foehn

9932.
last in cupboard, spam
fry with taters and old eggs?
nightmare for breakfast?

--foehn

9933.
sunset crimson pink,
sea blue tin surrounds, enfolds...
my repast fights me!

--foehn

9934.
teeny pieces, chop!
under pressure cohere, pop!
out of the tin, plop!

--foehn

9935.
hard on the outside
soft luscious, warmly pink in--
pork with golden heart?

--foehn

9936.
slick and pink firmness;
springing up and out of blue;
relished orally.

--foehn

9937.
I alone grip you.
I bite your slipperyness.
Salt and gel explodes.

--foehn

9938.
fallen from heaven
once blue, now shell pink meaty.
feed me what I want!

--foehn

9939.
harder for me, firm!
hands give heat, harder I cry!
greasily shrunk, done.

--foehn

9940.
SPAM! Give it to me!
Cross my lips with grease of pig!
Carnal delights, mine.

--foehn

9941.
sweat salt, sweat greasy.
dripping, oozing down pink meat--
surrender I do.

--foehn

9942.
roll me in sliced spam!
greasy thighs, slippery 'tween;
jeans dont fit before!

--Anonymous

9943.
So many SPAM cans
stacked for me, keys will open...
mouth and legs, what more?

--foehn

9944.
I leave SPAM, but lust...
pink and salt, you satisfy.
Diets are for naught.

--foehn

9945.
pushing that pink meat;
breathe hard, hands work, quickly jerk...
more spam to my mouth.

--foehn

9946.
so salt! so sunset!
place into mouth and suck now!
real good chew, spam is.

--foehn

9947.
Vegan's nemesis,
oinkers slaughtered for canning.
Carivores cry GOOD!

--foehn

9948.
salty and greasy.
wall'wing to dine, I forget...
in my lust for more.

--foehn

9949.
spam zombies wake up!
arise from coffins of steel...
last rest in stomachs.

--foehn

9950.
ultimate junk food.
grease, salt, and smoke in a can;
why do i love thee?

--foehn

9951.
Food for camp, I yearn.
Eat soft pink daily, I dream.
Dreaming I lust more.

--foehn

9952.
Invert open tin!
Newton's miracle and SPAM
over frying pan.

--Ricosan, fcunningham@mediaone.net

9953.
Hey! Extrey! Extrey!
Boston Globe busted for SPAM.
Can't fake it this time.

--Ronald McDonald

9954.
The pullet's surprise
The Boston Globe wins, hands down.
SPAM/egg on your face.

--Tickle Us Patricia, am Herald

9955.
Nuke war is over
SPAM and cockroaches tell jokes
Amid the ruins

--Ricosan, fcunningham@mediaone.net

9956.
John Nagamichi
Came to the crossroads and froze.
For us, he Cho's SPAM.

--TY JNC, Good Stuff!

9957.
Doggedly gnawing,
I chew through the blue SPAM can.
Hunger overpow'rs.

--Gumsy Gumps, Luv Mah Spam!

9958.
I never ate SPAM.
Folks said they'd e-mail me some...
Damn that message board!

--Newbie Dobie Don't, Dead Frank

9959.
There ought to be laws
Prohibiting SPAM abuse.
You'd all be in jail.

--Uk Ukky, No Need 4 Abuse

9960.
Princess Di was sweet.
The gourmet driver once said...
I'll eat SPAM and Di.

--UK Ukky, No Spam for me

9961.
Fitzwilliam N.H.
Run by a bunch of morons.
Sucked up too much SPAM

--Belss You, don'tcomehere@all

9962.
A pox on SPAMku...
May ye penners get the cramp.
Brain freeze all of ye.

--Roger Jolly, Div2@hownet.com

9963.
Lost Angeles SPAM
Found in cupboards of Satan
Misidentified

--Master Jack, Mj@ccamp.net

9964.
AUTOku daemon,
Accepts all, unceasingly.
She'll take all your spam.

--SPAMku daemon

9965.
Clinton gives us SPAM
Millions of children die
Chelsea survives

--spamnette

9966.
Tiny specks of white
Glisten in salmon aether;
Stars gleam in SPAM skies.

--Patrick Doyle, pdoyle@cs.stanford.edu

9967.
Upon bone white plates
Ovals of Spammy goodness;
Come, the feast begins.

--Patrick Doyle, pdoyle@cs.stanford.edu

9968.
My broad's can is blue
Tattoo ink does that to butts
But she ain't no SPAM

--Wilfred Willoughby, Texazz

9969.
Place SPAM between buns
Add your favorite toppings
Now try to sit down

--Perry White, Perry@wrtv.com

9970.
Yes! Jimmy Swaggart
Laid hands on my SPAM again.
His hands smell of fish.

--Sister Cary, anonymous

9971.
SPAM, I love you so.
Naked, pink, panting, waiting,
Am I sow, for you.

--Spamagra

9972.
Tyranny trembles
SPAM blue cans seen on the fields
Of warring countries.

--Semper Fi Fo Fum, anon.

9973.
Someone stole my SPAM.
I know who the culprit was.
Ptomaniacal.

--Play it again Spam, Hump-free Bogart

9974.
Give the lads some SPAM,
send them on their merry way.
Won't see them again.

--Menendez Boyz, Bang Bang

9975.
Set your traps with SPAM.
Lobsters are bottom feeders.
You'll come up empty.

--Up North, yeoldecrabman

9976.
I believe in spam;
I believe in its power;
Spam the world, says I.

--Ronald McDonald, achingarches.got

9977.
Oh how i love that
tasty, fleshy, and oh so
wonderful SPAM....yum.

--aNOnyMoUs, swankyboy@mailexcite.com

9978.
Flatulent guppies
Boil aquarium waters
Please don't feed fish SPAM

--flatulina bungus

9979.
Pink pork paté SPAM
You favor my tongue with juice
Viagra be gone

--Virgin Buoy

9980.
Eat, it's good for you.
So my dead mother told me
As she choked on SPAM.

--Red Traders, noone@nowhere.com

9981.
I once snorted SPAM
Through a thousand dollar bill.
A rare bird indeed.

--J. Autobann, Colonel2@gl.com

9982.
TO CLEANSE YOUR COLON:
Eat googobs of the pink meat
Leave San Francisco

--Elton Jack, Elton@ nowhere.com

9983.
Yuppie, know thyself.
Look deeply into your soul.
Progeny of SPAM.

--Wonderbread, Wone@prod.net

9984.
SPAM, ye vile product
Pork encased in slimy scum
Yuppie embryo

--Wonderbread, Wone@prod.net

9985.
Satan's snot blue-canned.
Isn't this pink baby cute?
We'll just call her SPAM.

--UK Nanny, uksc@once.net

9986.
Malodorous pork--
Howie, Virgin Boy, and SPAM:
Yuppies in a can.

--Chelsea Sid, Sid@homenet.com

9987.
If SPAM should smite thee
Gently turn the other cheek
And relieve yourself

--Reverso, Glenn@sprintnet.com

9988.
Vile, wretched SPAMku,
Pink slugs of Satan's garden.
Bore you. Bore me not.

--eve's leaf, AnOnYmOuS

9989.
Give me liberty,
Or give me Hormel SPAM boys.
No, on second thought.

--Grant Pardon, tome@once.huh

9990.
How do I love thee?
SPAM, just let me count the ways.
Sixty-nine feels right.

--Brodie

9991.
SPAMKuing one night
Aware of the pink full moon
I hoisted my pants

--Monty Full, Full@ind.edu

9992.
Mom makes our dinner
Smiles, set SPAM on the table
We puke on our plates

--Ratmoler Hamstak, hamstak@yahoo.com

9993.
From somewhere inside
Unknown organ in a tin
I think it's my spleen

--Ratmoler Hamstak, hamstak@yahoo.com

9994.
Trenchcoat, collar up,
fedora; covers most pink.
SPAM Spade, Private Eye.

--Fred Kirby

9995.
Troops will move north soon
Last meal before the battle
So thankful for SPAM

--Fred Kirby

9996.
Up before the sun.
Skillet sizzles, smell of fat,
SPAM and eggs, with toast.

--Fred Kirby

9997.
Stepmother's eat treat!
"Lube my thighs, oh Pinky Log!"
Sane stepdaughter gags.

--kat_fud, here-kitty.com

9998.
Never ate of SPAM
And yet it still inspires me
SPAM dream go away

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9999.
SPAM sits atop cliff
Ponders own mortality
(Expiration Date)

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

10000.
Eat SPAM and you die
SPAM--the unknown can--filling
Make the hurting stop

--Stephen