SPAM Haiku 10001-10100

Move backwards to Numbers 9901-10000.


10001.
Before school ended
I hid the SPAM one last time
Surprise for freshmen
--Anonymous

10002.
whoosh! goes the SPAM can
plop! slimy meat by-product
why fucking bother?

--Obnoxious Asswipe, same2u@buddy

10003.
as long as I have
a face, you'll always have a
place to sit, dear SPAM

--Obnoxious Asswipe, same2u@buddy

10004.
SPAM Bisque with Blue Crab.
Ingest it, crab, and turn blue.
Stomach pumping good!

--Tonite's Menu

10005.
Place SPAM in blender.
Run on "High" for ten minutes.
Lethal injection.

--X-man

10006.
Spamify your fly.
Be like Bubba Bill Clinton.
Makes aides kneel and pray.

--The Big "W", };-{>

10007.
Section VIII and SPAM.
Welfare queens don't buy the stuff.
Not with their crack dough.

--Listen UP!

10008.
I'm a pro-booster.
Been shoplifting SPAM for years.
And the stores don't care.

--Need Spam, greenspam@sheckel.net

10009.
Little tins of SPAM.
Stepping stones in my garden.
Martyred hawgs' tomb stones.

--Mother Goosed, anon.

10010.
Whimsy overcomes.
I reach for SPAM, but recall
Acidic reflux.

--Glaxsome Spam, acidboil.com

10011.
The soured bumps of SPAM
Spray the other passengers
"Don't complain, it's free."

--Hydra, hide@goseek.edu

10012.
The SPAM Olympics
Are held quite regularly
In my lover's guts.

--Bonnie Pink, bonnie@nev.net

10013.
Did you eat your SPAM?
Mother Teresa ate SPAM.
She looked like she did.

--Herman Toughman, Herman @skynet.com

10014.
Spamenino's here!
In the city of Boston.
Mumbles Menino.

--J. Howard C., Thank You!

10015.
Give it up, you swine!
Into surgery you go.
Amputate that SPAM.

--Renege

10016.
Blowing chunks of SPAM
On the porcelain altar
Nectar of the gods

--Fr. Aweigh, gladofit.heave

10017.
Wax your skis with SPAM
You'll travel further, faster
To the Porta-John

--Vt. Life

10018.
Petrified SPAM chunks
Found in dinosaurs' stomachs
Extinction by SPAM

--Person

10019.
At the last roundup
Pigs were tied down to gurnies
Their SPAM "harvested"

--G. Naughtry, missedPiggy

10020.
Zipp the Pinhead said
"SPAM has now surpassed Ding-Dongs
As my treat of choice."

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10021.
SPAM, gelatinous,
Quivering upon my tongue;
Pink meets pink, and melts.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10022.
You say my atoms
Are the same as those in SPAM?
The thought humbles me.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10023.
I am what I am
and no matter what happens
I'll never eat SPAM!

--judy, aztecprincess@you.com

10024.
Pig butts and pork snouts
Are ground, sugared, spiced, and canned.
What were we thinking?

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10025.
Once, humans slaughtered
Our dinner. Now, we eat SPAM.
Evolution sneers.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10026.
Zen: What is the sound
Made by canned SPAM if no one
Can stand to hear it?

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10027.
I know what I want
Baked beans and SPAM--what, no beans?
I'll have SPAM instead

--Anonymous

10028.
spam has sprung once more
fall has fell and here we are
spam is nice (large squish)

--Jake McGrath, zakman@california.com

10029.
THIS MYSTERY MEAT
AN UNFORTUNATE ICON
ITS CONTENTS UNKNOWN

--nicolas herrera(BIG 72

10030.
SADLY WE EAT IT
OUR PETRIFIED PALATES CRY
SUBJECTED TO THIS

--nicolas herrera(BIG 72)

10031.
At Custer's Last Stand
They sold SPAMBURGERS and booze.
It wasn't the booze.

--Tonto

10032.
Alluvial SPAM
Chitterlings, hawgmaws, and snot...
Reconstituted.

--Ivan Itchi Butt, scratchit4me.now

10033.
"I will work for SPAM"
That's what the cardboard sign said.
Windshield-smearing bum.

--Streetlife

10034.
Liposuction goop
Surrounds a pink mass of SPAM.
Fat recycles well.

--O A Chickies

10035.
Horizontal bop?
Naval to naval, hmmm, love?
Just a fight for SPAM.

--Gene Pit Knee, genepool@ymca

10036.
Slime me Babycakes
In the soft fluff of Vermont
Snow angel Spamming

--Sad Cucumber

10037.
My SPAMku has died.
Lifeless, wrinkled, pale, flaccid.
It's been Lewinskied

--Big Bubba Bill, ibD1

10038.
SPAM and day-old bread.
Trail mix for homeless winos.
Winettes tote it too.

--Streetlife

10039.
"Wild I" and cold SPAM
The breakfast of champions
Shelter grub is good

--Streetlife

10040.
Conservatives please,
Get rid of all useless pols.
Want spam? Then vote spam.

--Anon, Anon

10041.
Take a bath with SPAM
Erotic, pleasurable
Cheap, and can't gossip.

--Reelaxating, OHIO

10042.
amada luna
de satines helados
insigne tumba

--Miguel Angel Perez Alvarez, mapa@servidor.unam.mx

10043.
Before the snake was...
Antediluvian goop
Was harvested.....SPAM!

--Madam and Deve, degarden@last.com

10044.
Psychiatrists all
Prescribe SPAMku quite freely
Prozac for the poor

--No Sighed Defects, PDR@pg.1423

10045.
We had a cute pig
Named her "Spam" and loved her well.
No bones about it.

--Petite Tersall

10046.
Wennie, Rhode Island
Drug capital of the world
No SPAM about it

--Roger Williams

10047.
Vegan SPAM for me
Hawg droppings in the green can
Natural, tasty

--Yolanda Yuppitis, savetheblank@last

10048.
Ripples in the pond
Reflections of happiness
When I tossed my SPAM

--Dented Waters, give@hoot.pollute

10049.
Jose de SPAM man
Ate it cold outa da can
You know what I mean?

--JAG

10050.
Lord I've seen the light
In the middle of the night
Refrigerated

--No 1

10051.
Say grace beforehand
And thanksgiving afterward
If you survive....SPAM!

--EASD

10052.
Real broads don't eat SPAM
Some of the "butchie" gals do
Just to be macho

--Anonymous

10053.
I be eating Spem
Lo dese many years an say
Burp! Ahhh, tha's bettah

--Deelishus, don't got one

10054.
Our child's first word...."SPAM"
She never did say much more,
But she sure could grunt.

--Butler, butler@sprynet.com

10055.
Be careful with it
SPAM causes big bubble butts
And butt bubbles too.

--Arsenio Hallway

10056.
Ahhh, it's summertime.
Lots of pink meat showing...Sweet!
SPAM thrives at the beach.

--Anonymous

10057.
Sand in your SPAM girls?
Wiggle it out when you walk.
Puts glide in your stride.

--I. Lovett

10058.
"Welcome, you've got mail."
I get wired and excited...
But it's only SPAM.

--Droopy Drawers

10059.
Five syllables SPAM
Seven syllables SPAMku
SPAM syllables five

--Ohyea Didit

10060.
Tell me a story
About a life so peaceful
It is all SPAMKU

--ITCHIBUTT

10061.
Interestingly
Pink stares at me from its crib
Shining, infantile

--Goo Goo Spam

10062.
What's for dessert mom?
SPAM pudding with bacon grease.
Hold the chocolate.

--Anonymous

10063.
Use SPAM in a spell.
Get even with the bad guys.
Hell....make them eat it!!

--La Femme Witchita

10064.
Newt's eyes and toad's tongues
are good spell ingredients,
but SPAM is the best!!

--La Femme Witchita

10065.
Soft and pink like flesh;
carve SPAM in human image.
Instant voodoo doll!

--La Femme Witchita

10066.
this goddamn e-mail
fills my inbox every day
with NO greasy salt

--Chris, beerdevotion@hotmail.com

10067.
SPAM is the greatest
It smells like Chris Hyson's mom
Which is a bad smell

--Todd Merriam

10068.
Blue Hills Beantown e-
cho with the mayors mumblings....
"Love me!"...but it's SPAM

--Beantowner, Pphhrrrt@him

10069.
Found it on my stoop
In an unmarked paper bag.
Squat when you eat SPAM.

--Charlie Brown

10070.
Death carries a scythe.
He slices SPAM on the run.
Quick, under the bed.

--Richard Wilkinson, rick@sprint.net

10071.
Trap door pajamas.
Village People on the loose.
Spam Francisco bites!

--Hank T., None

10072.
In New York harbor,
The Statue of Liberty
Weeps teardrops of SPAM.

--Buddy Gordon, heybuddy@jhk.net

10073.
Spamergency ward.
Cut off his SPAM at its base.
Hmmmmm, "Mismanaged Care."

--Loki Toki, anon.

10074.
Spamergency ward.
Cut off his SPAM at its base.
Hmmmmm, "Ms. Managed Care."

--Loki Toki, anon.

10075.
Purgatorial....
That's how my life has become.
My wife has found SPAM.

--Pray4Me, pray4me.willya.now

10076.
SPAM gel can be found
In bathroom deodorant,
Shrinking, shriveling.

--Redoozit

10077.
My new netsuki
Is a little blue SPAM can
From failing Japan.

--stillwater, anon.

10078.
Be at peace...Be still,
Contemplating SPAMku deep....
Wonder-filled, awed-some!

--Kabuki Bulkie, Deli@essex.sta

10079.
Ahhhh, Adam and Eve
In the garden of Eden
Wham, SPAM, thank you ma'am!

--Caning Able, Thegarden.lush

10080.
I never inhaled.
I never had sex with (blank).
SPAM is delicious.

--Bubba's Truths, nomeman.nonet

10081.
Ants in your pants gal?
Stop eating all that McCrap!
Get down with the SPAM.

--Geo Deo, Geodeo@here.net

10082.
Waterfall, plum tree
Peaceful pools of still water
Reflect on my SPAM.

--U. Knowitt

10083.
Some SPAMku can be
Just as slimy and salty
As the real pink meat.

--Ruth MD, cmecu@nite.com

10084.
SPAM sukiyaki
Is very popular dish
Served with micro chips.

--Ben Dare, dundat@1X

10085.
Land of rising SPAM
How abundantly you lived
What's happened Yoko?

--Yoko Ohno, )(*&^%*(*&%$#&^

10086.
And on the eighth day
God created Hormel SPAM.
Let the show begin!

--Genesis

10087.
Nada, nil, none, zip
The new salt-free, fat-free SPAM.
An empty green can.

--Lover of SPAM

10088.
Deep in hell's kitchen
Satan is preparing SPAM
That's why it's called Hell

--Meat Chu Dere, down and down.net

10089.
Squat when you say SPAM
It's an act of reverence
Sooner or later

--Spamming, SPAMku

10090.
Postal employees
Take SPAM breaks regularly
To reload their guns

--US Male

10091.
SPAM toilet tissue
Soft as a baby's bottom
And twice as stinky

--Charmin, squeeze@end.com

10092.
Christian Jim Bakker,
A honky tonk man of old,
Spammed his flock daily.

--Tammy Fake Baker, Tammy

10093.
Please pass me the SPAM
Be double quick about it
My bung hole's oozing

--Jim Baker of Bunz

10094.
My new day-timer
Overflowing oozing SPAM
Things to eat today

--Monica D. Player, Kneepads@usa

10095.
Smell Beantown's mayor;
Sour, sickly odor of SPAM
Trails where e'er goes he.

--Spammin' Beans, mumblemumble.com

10096.
Yellow Jacket bait
The little buggers love SPAM
All pols and hacks do

--Missed Trishia

10097.
In ailing Japan
SPAM sushi will feed the poor
And the well-kept whore

--Mitzu Bichi, ford@spry.net

10098.
My shrink named Abbot
Got into the SPAM habit
And passed for a nun.

--NY New York, No Thanks!

10099.
Kiddy porn is bad
But food porn is even worse
Imprison Hormel

--Free Dee, Oh Yes!

10100.
dingy loaf of meat
do we detect a heartbeat?
spam transcends all things

--troutman@sunset.backbone.olemiss.edu


Move forwards to Numbers 10101-10200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.