1.
Pyramid scheme fails
Now they riot in the streets
Dumb Albanians
2.
Wears that silly hat
Why can't he just shave for once?
Yasser Arafat
3.
Ben Netanyahu
Doesn't seem to have a neck
Stiffer than Al Gore
4.
Turks shoot Cypriots
Greece orders missiles from Reds
Greeks and Turks make nice
5.
Yeltsin sick as dog
Hand on nuclear button
I feel safe and sound
6.
Lebed has bad teeth
Dresses like '70s pimp
Let's put him in charge
7.
Strom Thurmond still here
Oldest man on the planet
Morons elect him
8.
Convicted felon
Let's elect him as mayor!
Marion Barry
9.
Bruno Magli shoes
Whole truth and nothing but truth
Do you smell a rat?
10.
Single currency
Europe trying to unite
Britain drags its heels
11.
Women dress like ghosts
Armed lunatics patrol streets
Afghanistan rules!
12.
The new world order
Ex-Soviet republics
Nuke rockets for sale!
13.
China denies facts
Do they think we're that stupid?
"What detention camps?!"
14.
Lying bureaucrat
"None died at Tiananmen"
Silly Chinaman
15.
Persian Gulf countries
Get rich off petroleum
Drink oil for breakfast
16.
Communist Party
Dissidents die in China
Party of People
17.
Al Gore starts campaign
Isn't it a bit early?
Give it a rest, Al
18.
Paula Jones and Bill
She says he stripped in hotel
Why was she in there?
19.
Paula Jones in news
Tries to ruin president
Republican prop
20.
Whitewater scandal
Why is this federal case?
Was in Arkansas
21.
Kathie Lee Gifford
Tries to help the exploited
Too little too late
22.
Tickle me Elmo
Fun for about five minutes
Thirty bucks down drain
23.
Rush Limbaugh spouts trash
King of the non-sequitur
He just takes up space
24.
Tupac Amaru
Portrayed as ruthless killers
Corrupt government
25.
Anti-smoking laws
Tobacco lords not beaten
Target Third World now
26.
Embargo defunct
Castro is still in power
Can't we just be pals?!
27.
Thirty years too long
Time to end the embargo
Castro will then fall
28.
Embargo goes down
Capitalism comes in
No room for Castro
29.
Embargo lifted
Flood Cuba with our dollars
All those great cigars
30.
Time to lift the ban
But anti-Castro lobby
Keeps us in stalemate
31.
Russians in Cuba
We tell them to remove spies
But we do same thing
32.
Mandela runs things
But where is promised progress?
South African mess
33.
Mandela's regime
Unqualified ministers
Right color, wrong men
34.
Turkey snubs NATO
Turns focus to Middle East
Losing key ally
35.
Turkey's new leader
Islamic hard-line reforms
Oh, for Mustafa
36.
Canada hates us
Let them handle own defense
See how long they last
37.
Running out of room
Overpopulated towns
Annex Mexico
38.
Loyal Democrat
But are they any better?
Sometimes I wonder
39.
Washington weirdo
Dick Gephardt has no eyebrows
It's kind of creepy
40.
Politics decline
Turns into rich men's playground
Ah, America
41.
If I had my way
I'd tape Gingrich's butt cheeks
Then rip it off fast
42.
If I had my way
I'd strip Newt Gingrich naked
Strap him to billboard
43.
Jesse Helms and Newt
I have one burning question
Who votes for these kooks?
44.
Enough lame haiku
About frosty morns and love
Sappy poets whine
45.
Christian haiku-ists
Spare me your silly sermons
Oh, you're so pious
46.
A film comes out twice.
Long, long ago, far away...
George milks it again.
47.
Motor mouth Eric:
Tape his lips shut and then rip
it off. Give it up!!
48.
My dream for Don Kemp:
Shove bamboo shoots underneath
his fingernails. Laugh.
49.
Chameleon-like pol
Amazing transformation
Clinton now Reagan
50.
Bad! Dennis Rodman
Behaves like a little boy
Throws away millions
51.
Rush envies Ted K.
Wishes he were a man, too
Just can't get the babes
52.
O.J. is squeezed in
California court--mov-
ing to Florida
53.
Cloning human life
Easier than first believed
Now where do we go
54.
Ethicists confused
Life can be created now
By cloning humans
55.
Bowe joins the Marines!
Finds the drill instructors shout--
boot camp boots him out!
56.
Jim McDougal sings!
Says that Clinton did some wrong
Quite a change of tune!
57.
When the plotters met
Jim says Slick Willie was there
Slick Will says, "Not so!"
58.
Susan said, "Not there!"
No one but Jim saw him there;
Jim's song's out of tune!
59.
I sit in the fog,
only music whirls around.
It's getting darker...
60.
Heavy, yellow fog.
A spark flashes with blue light.
Humid, frosty night.
61.
A beautiful girl--
I can't even say a word.
She has gone away.
62.
"Could we meet sometimes?"
"I'm sorry, we'd better not."
I am not surprised.
Last modified: Thu Mar 20 11:23:14 GMT-0400 1997