1.
Congress, President
Trade blows. Civil servants starve.
It's Fiscal New Year.
2.
Little Rock cracker
Versus Kansas tight-ass. Wow!
Another great choice.
3.
Belarus shoots down
Unarmed balloon "to save it."
They must be 'Nam vets.
4.
Clinton brings some peace
at last, to the Middle East
Bob Dole says "big deal."
5.
Newt slashes budget
Grateful wealthy pay no tax
Poor can't afford SPAM
6.
Deliberation.
Jury decides in four hours.
OJ not guilty!
7.
Trial takes eight months
It's pregnant with evidence
Justice miscarries
8.
Momoh is long gone.
Oh, why does Foday Sankoh
Not give up his arms?
9.
How many lives is
A name worth? A lot if it's
"Macedonia."
10.
Palestine "self-rule":
"Yes, sir, I rule by myself,"
Proclaims Arafat.
11.
Ten million Chinese
Men looking for brides. Damn! Should
Have let those girls live.
12.
Jesse Helms, confused,
Sees Last Tango in Paris,
Declares war on France.
13.
Caucausian pundits
Gripe "Johnnie played the race card!"
Fuhrman played it first.
14.
country western cow
wins Dolly Parton Music
on TV last night
15.
Electric not paid
Russian army turns back on
Prevents sub meltdown
16.
Hormel sues Henson
"Spamme" not acceptable name
for MISTER Piggy
17.
Farrakhan orates.
Where was Leni Riefenstahl
When he needed her?
18.
Medicare is bad,
Screams Newt's mob, but try our new
Medi-fuck-you plan.
19.
Oct. 17th: New
Song for Farrakhan. Daylight
Come; gotta go home.
20.
First Calypso Lou,
Now Fidel. That's just too much
Caribbean beat.
21.
Peace in Bosnia
Clinton and Yeltsin agree
Too late to save them
22.
Yolanda's pistol
"I'm your number one fan" BANG
Pop star becomes saint
23.
Fidel promises
Doctors for Harlem. Get set
For more flotillas.
24.
Bosnia is like
A huge open grave. We're just
Dying to get in.
25.
O.J. has lawyers;
Thirteen at the latest count.
A liar's dozen.
26.
Reps try to fix it.
Medicare almost bankrupt.
Dems stick heads in sand.
27.
UN turns 50.
Clinton laughs his fanny off.
More New York gridlock.
28.
Trial of the decade
O.J. is found innocent
Has the system worked?
29.
Republicans suck
They are attacking the poor
I want to vomit
30.
Gristle on the screen
is confusing my palate;
Sarajevan SPAM.
31.
Join Army, serve US
Not the United Nations.
Court-martial for this?
32.
Arafat booted
From Beethoven by Mayor
Manhatten welcome
33.
Newt's mob will only
fix Republican wallets.
Please don't kid yourself.
34.
Dole flips over gays,
Clinton flops over budget.
Election year sucks.
35.
Balkan genocide?
American Indians
suffered even more.
36.
Serb ethnic cleansing?
Our Jap'nese in World War Two
We are no better!
37.
Tree-hugging whiners.
Bleeding-hearts and bed-wetters.
Liberals must go.
38.
Old die of sickness,
Children die of ignorance.
Republicans live.
39.
Multiple posted
Sexual advertising
Get a fucking clue!
40.
Newt screams "No Troops to
Bosnia! It would be bad
if someone died there."
41.
New York mayor, host,
Wanted to show Castro lost.
No dinner for guest.
42.
Power lunches go
Music denied to Fidel
Embargo has failed
43.
Fidel in New York--
now business suit, now fatigues--
soldier of fortune.