SPAM Haiku 10101-10200

Move backwards to Numbers 10001-10100.


10101.
I was teethed on SPAM
It was served at every meal
Is that why I'm gay?
--Cabelero, Provincetown,Ma.

10102.
The Spamidity
Is starting to get to me
Gotta move.....my bowels

--Quiroga Midget, none

10103.
Politicians all
Roll their SPAM in little balls.
They've got little balls.

--Pols Spam Balls

10104.
SPAM has no father.
The mother of all canned meat
Ain't no dyke either.

--The Projex, not now

10105.
Stumbling into bed
With the love of your dear life
Stain the sheets with SPAM

--NO J, *<|:-)

10106.
What you 'spect from SPAM,
Virginia ham? Ha ha!
Guess again, dufus.

--Guesser, Nope!

10107.
Some folks call it SPAM;
I just called it nervous pork.....
Prozac for dessert.

--Spamblade

10108.
SPAM floats on water.
I know other things do too.
You write about them.

--Porta, John,

10109.
Manic virgins all
Seem to simmer down real small
When they smoke SPAM hash.

--Maineac, Ay-uh!

10110.
Written well it is
Documented in bile juice
Of such soiled diapers

--Anonymous

10111.
The chi of Hormel
Is located in the flesh
Of SPAM chosen swine

--Dick Murphy, Burlington, Ma.

10112.
Irish feed on SPAM
Saint Patrick ate it himself
After it turned green

--Sean Sheehan, sean@wrko.com

10113.
When the atoms split,
two things will be left on Earth.
Cockroaches and SPAM.

--Abraxas the Younger, abraxas@ktc.com

10114.
What do you call it
when Republicans eat SPAM?
Cannibalism.

--Abraxas the Younger, abraxas@ktc.com

10115.
Little crumbs of meat
Were found in my leotards
SPAM clitty litter

--Flatulina Humungus

10116.
I once bought smoked SPAM
Many years ago in Maine
It WAS endangered

--Ancient Spam, Maineac.nomo@last

10117.
Philip Erickson
You were such a sweet, kind boy
SPAMku ruined you

--Phil Who?

10118.
Feel up your mate's SPAM.
It is the same as your SPAM?
Ain't that peculiar.

--Gergilizing Gerry, Unh hah!

10119.
Dehydrated SPAM,
reconstituted for you
by Porta-potty.

--Prudence, john@ohno.ome

10120.
Check it out, my man....
Diaper lumps in the blue can.
Reflections on john.

--Lumpy

10121.
Open your nostrils
Breathe in all the pheromones.
Potty putty SPAM.

--Howdy Howdy, Y'all!

10122.
SPAM pureed, mmmm good!
That's what grandmaw used to say
When we hid her teeth.

--Granny's Kidz

10123.
The high flying bird
Vomits all over my car.
Seagulls refuse SPAM.

--J Livingstone Gull, O buoy. O gull

10124.
I do like SPAM, yum
I will eat it all day long...
"Oh Charles do FUCK up!"

--Colin D. Wright, Now that would be telling

10125.
All of my SPAMku
Are written in the toilet
In the land of SPAM.

--Sen Sen

10126.
Raspberries are ripe
Picked and cossed with small white mice
And grown to SPAM size

--*<}:-)

10127.
In the book of SPAM
It is written that safe sax
Can make sweet music

--Bubba Blows One, oralsax@monicaL

10128.
Olde Tyme SPAM music
It's "Paddling Madeline home"
S and M was in

--SPANK U, doit@LL

10129.
Discordant echoes
Down the hallways waft fuming
After I gnaw SPAM

--S. House Rat, Dorm@bupu

10130.
You MUST Curb Your SPAM.
We don't want to step in it.
Help Keep N.Y. Clean.

--Da Mayor, No unsolicited mail please

10131.
SPAM's superb! you bet.
I eat all that I can get.
Stinky, pink, and wet.

--Tis I, *

10132.
SPAM's the balls and all!
It's the shoulder to cry on.
When you're in college.

--Send Me $$$ Mom, Down&out@school

10133.
The pope eats SPAM too
But never on a Friday
Well, almost never

--Papa John

10134.
Mother Teresa
You refused to eat your SPAM
Bet you're sorry now

--Anonymous

10135.
George Washington said:
"Give me SPAM or give me death!"
Or something like that.

--Well someone said it., And it wasn't me.

10136.
SPAM is packed in Chad.
Chad is pork-tripe residue.
Discard before use.

--Chad Chad Chad

10137.
There's fur on my SPAM,
Do you think I should eat it?
Shave it first, dummy!

--Warm and Fuzzy, Spamhair@hair.net

10138.
Captain Spam is here
To save the day and bring cheer....
"Cheer" gets grease spots out.

--Geezer Wheezer, St. Stan's Chelsea Ma.

10139.
Fill a pail with SPAM
Tie a rope to it and SCREAM
UP YOUR BUCKET SPAM!

--Arkie Goober, goobergn@wer

10140.
Gay construction men
And men-like women eat SPAM
But not each other.

--Happy Knot, gerbildildo@SFcal

10141.
SPAM mumbles arise
In my gut I'm Meninoed
Enema needed

--Poor Beantown, Justa U Stabe

10142.
Life begins at SPAM
When you're dead there is no meat
Dead meat is pantless

--Anonymous

10143.
SPAM tofu it's said
Is great on seven grain bread
For health-nutless geeks

--Santa Ria, Pray 4 Us

10144.
Some health-nutless geeks
Trojans and Middle East sheiks
Saranwrap their SPAM

--Aunt Tita, shields@sprynet.com

10145.
SPAM BEATS EATING DOG
Local youth charged with assault
Weapon: Spamcycle

--Fried Rights , Cujo Nomo!

10146.
Feed SPAM to convicts
Kill two birds with one pink stone
Prisoner's rights?......WRONG!

--Punish 'em Good!, Joliet, you bet!

10147.
God will forgive me
For having had to eat SPAM
My stomach? NEVAH!

--Acidic Hassidic, send sase to: Brook Lynn

10148.
Ahh! Fourth of July
Red eyed, white skinned, and blue balled
Why did I eat SPAM?

--Julio De Fortha, American't Pi r²

10149.
An da Prezman said:
"A MonicaL in mah SPAM
Wort two wit George Bush."

--D@ One-eyed Prezman, D@ Pinkhouse In Da@ W@sh

10150.
In the SPAM orchard
The fruit is heavily hung
Between limbs of boars

--Metoo

10151.
I magnify SPAM
10,000 X and behold!
Clinton's vain image

--Sandi A Gogh, LemmeGogh@once

10152.
Clinton and OJ
Carved from the same block of SPAM
Males Felonious

--Cockeyed Justice, For sure

10153.
AOL spams me
Like ten-million other folk
We must spam them back

--Anti-spam, TOSS AOL

10154.
Whether he or she
Or whatever else you be
Your brain screams....SPAM ME!

--Inya Pajamas, inbed@nite.yes

10155.
Salvation Army
Swore that they wouldn't harm me
Then they force fed SPAM

--XMs. Santa, dingalingading@me

10156.
In Clinton's army
SPAM kissers hold high rankings
Equal rights for gals

--Monica Bleau Herchance, Time@timeagin

10157.
Mike Tyson, it's said
Bit Holyfield's ear, it bled
Spammed his career....dead

--M T Crybaby, WWF@last.aok

10158.
John L. Sullivan
Licked any man in the joint
He loved to eat SPAM

--Boxer Shortz, falling down, falling down

10159.
SPAM wedgies tempt them
They cannot resist the lure
Butt, they pay the price

--Upper US, down@damouth.callie

10160.
Dr. Joyce Brothers
If she had her own druthers
Would quit chewing SPAM

--Dr. Joyce , Wadding@UK.net

10161.
Spamenema bags,
And wrinkled, old, moldy wags,
Love the feel of SPAM.

--Hilarity Klintin, rugmunch@washit.com

10162.
Do unto your SPAM
As it has done unto you....
Whatever that is.

--Old Man Mose, none

10163.
Great Willie Nelson
Eats almighty gobs of SPAM.
And he looks so young.

--Granny Grizzle, Lovethetwillie@home

10164.
Donut crumb police
Chomp on SPAM for plenty grease
They are men, not meese

--Spam in Blue, weluvsit.yesmam

10165.
Gals, stand by your SPAM,
It's the quick fix summer meal,
Now....lets play bingo.

--Mary, Jeanie and Judy, u know who

10166.
Moon was bright yellow,
Sitting with my SPAM, I froze....
Yellow was I too.

--ITO WUZ YELLOW, kyoto, Japan

10167.
Reset all inputs
Now try to swallow your SPAM
Reset all inputs

--Ida Wanna Doit, SPAMkukaracha@projex.net

10168.
Reset all inputs
I tried to SPAM my swallow
Reset his inputs

--Capistrano bound, BurdTurd@spam

10169.
Colonel Klink ate pink
He puked it up in the sink,
"I know nuffing!...Ya?"

--S Troop, vundeburpen@spammin

10170.
Where's the beef my man?
Not that stuff in that blue can
They call "San Juan Steak"

--Ricardo Quirogassy, Foodstamps@Dpw

10171.
The pale moon reflects
On my glistening SPAM chunk
I zip up and leave

--Moonstruck, Rev.loonymoon.

10172.
Be kind to your wife
when she serves you....SPAMBURGERS?
Where's the MEN'S MOVEMENT?

--Itchi Nuggets, fraidknow@prod.com

10173.
Golden toast your buns
Place SPAM on buns with relish
It's your fantasy

--Now, run with it......, Happy 4th have a 5th

10174.
Crime watch neighborhood
Yes sir, no SPAM allowed here
Just keep walking kid

--OJ BJ & Js, No hope, no dope, just SPAM

10175.
It Takes A Village
To satisfy Bill's sex needs
With his two-inch dick

--Village Idiot, Penn.Ave mouth Wash

10176.
Positive beliefs
Have no power to change it
SPAM is.....that is all

--Norma's Scratch n' Sniff

10177.
It sure ain't no crime
To force feed SPAM to your kids
But it sure should be

--The Menendez Boyz

10178.
The queen of England
Looks like she eats too much SPAM
Such a sad, sour puss

--Get Rollaides Gal

10179.
Shave Valerie now
For the moon is made of sneeze
They eat maggot SPAM

--Gertrude the Putrid

10180.
In life's cruel garden
You see many strange wonders
Like man eating SPAM

--Geo Deo

10181.
Wild oceans lay still
When I walk on their waters
SPAM sandals by Nike

--Geo Deo

10182.
Water into wine?
Blue boar into pink SPAMku...
That's miraculous!

--Geo Deo

10183.
Dogcatcher police
Round up the usual mutts
Hostages for SPAM

--Big Nosed Bill

10184.
What is blue outside
Slimy, fat, and bad inside?
NYC police

--Boyz n' Blew, 48th St. West

10185.
Out on Long Island
Little squished SPAM bungalows
Litter the seashore

--Keep NY Clean, 48th St West

10186.
Our Father of spam,
Deliver us from e-mail
And AOL too.

--Warlord's Prayer, Amen & Amen

10187.
Stretches your food stamps
Doesn't mean it's not good food.
Buy more crack and wine.

--Tin Alethia

10188.
Rotting in the bowl
My dog looks at me askance
He hates SPAM as well

--PixelWitch@mailcity.com

10189.
Oy vey! It's SPAMku
How comes dere's no HERRINGku?
Or KNISHku even?

--Grrrr Filter Fitch, Don't mail me already!

10190.
Whoops! There it is, Phrrrrt!
SPAM, the rap music of food
Blissful ignorance

--Dr. Iveby, I b talkin' to yo

10191.
Pro wrestlers use SPAM
To slip out of full Nelsons,
And into them too!

--Emile the Eel, Schlamele, Canada's Best!

10192.
God save the Queen, (Not!)
Wisened up old chunk of SPAM!
Save her?............ It's too late!

--True Britt, Harold@umc.edu.net

10193.
SPAM! The airline food
For people too poor to fly
In a plane, that is.

--Attn. Basefaces, foodstamp.crack.net

10194.
China: SPAM or cane?
After SPAM I need a cane.
One order Fried Rights!

--Fried Rights, ubiegoner@yes.com

10195.
Free SPAM is sold here!
Democratic headquarters
Fund raiser, I guess.

--Free Spam Cheap, none needed/none desired

10196.
Monday afternoon,
My cat is licking his ass;
He also likes SPAM.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10197.
Some one of these days,
You're gonna miss your Spammy.
I stole it you know.

--Arthur Narve, andhow@can.net

10198.
I Bammed this Spamma
Way down in Alabama
A twenty clamma

--We Shall Rise Agin, Hope@lifenet.com

10199.
I kinda miss that
I don't pop at the table
My SPAM is zit-free

--We Shall Rise Agin, Hope@lifenet.com

10200.
Oh give chance a piece.
Whack those slammin' slot machines!
Live your life on SPAM.

--Vern Akular, Vern@prodnet.org


Move forwards to Numbers 10201-10300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.