SPAM Haiku 10001-10100

Move backwards to Numbers 9901-10000.

10001.
Before school ended
I hid the SPAM one last time
Surprise for freshmen

--Anonymous

10002.
whoosh! goes the SPAM can
plop! slimy meat by-product
why fucking bother?

--Obnoxious Asswipe, same2u@buddy

10003.
as long as I have
a face, you'll always have a
place to sit, dear SPAM

--Obnoxious Asswipe, same2u@buddy

10004.
SPAM Bisque with Blue Crab.
Ingest it, crab, and turn blue.
Stomach pumping good!

--Tonite's Menu

10005.
Place SPAM in blender.
Run on "High" for ten minutes.
Lethal injection.

--X-man

10006.
Spamify your fly.
Be like Bubba Bill Clinton.
Makes aides kneel and pray.

--The Big "W", };-{>

10007.
Section VIII and SPAM.
Welfare queens don't buy the stuff.
Not with their crack dough.

--Listen UP!

10008.
I'm a pro-booster.
Been shoplifting SPAM for years.
And the stores don't care.

--Need Spam, greenspam@sheckel.net

10009.
Little tins of SPAM.
Stepping stones in my garden.
Martyred hawgs' tomb stones.

--Mother Goosed, anon.

10010.
Whimsy overcomes.
I reach for SPAM, but recall
Acidic reflux.

--Glaxsome Spam, acidboil.com

10011.
The soured bumps of SPAM
Spray the other passengers
"Don't complain, it's free."

--Hydra, hide@goseek.edu

10012.
The SPAM Olympics
Are held quite regularly
In my lover's guts.

--Bonnie Pink, bonnie@nev.net

10013.
Did you eat your SPAM?
Mother Teresa ate SPAM.
She looked like she did.

--Herman Toughman, Herman @skynet.com

10014.
Spamenino's here!
In the city of Boston.
Mumbles Menino.

--J. Howard C., Thank You!

10015.
Give it up, you swine!
Into surgery you go.
Amputate that SPAM.

--Renege

10016.
Blowing chunks of SPAM
On the porcelain altar
Nectar of the gods

--Fr. Aweigh, gladofit.heave

10017.
Wax your skis with SPAM
You'll travel further, faster
To the Porta-John

--Vt. Life

10018.
Petrified SPAM chunks
Found in dinosaurs' stomachs
Extinction by SPAM

--Person

10019.
At the last roundup
Pigs were tied down to gurnies
Their SPAM "harvested"

--G. Naughtry, missedPiggy

10020.
Zipp the Pinhead said
"SPAM has now surpassed Ding-Dongs
As my treat of choice."

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10021.
SPAM, gelatinous,
Quivering upon my tongue;
Pink meets pink, and melts.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10022.
You say my atoms
Are the same as those in SPAM?
The thought humbles me.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10023.
I am what I am
and no matter what happens
I'll never eat SPAM!

--judy, aztecprincess@you.com

10024.
Pig butts and pork snouts
Are ground, sugared, spiced, and canned.
What were we thinking?

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10025.
Once, humans slaughtered
Our dinner. Now, we eat SPAM.
Evolution sneers.

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10026.
Zen: What is the sound
Made by canned SPAM if no one
Can stand to hear it?

--Col. Kurtz, allegory@holly.colostate.edu

10027.
I know what I want
Baked beans and SPAM--what, no beans?
I'll have SPAM instead

--Anonymous

10028.
spam has sprung once more
fall has fell and here we are
spam is nice (large squish)

--Jake McGrath, zakman@california.com

10029.
THIS MYSTERY MEAT
AN UNFORTUNATE ICON
ITS CONTENTS UNKNOWN

--nicolas herrera(BIG 72

10030.
SADLY WE EAT IT
OUR PETRIFIED PALATES CRY
SUBJECTED TO THIS

--nicolas herrera(BIG 72)

10031.
At Custer's Last Stand
They sold SPAMBURGERS and booze.
It wasn't the booze.

--Tonto

10032.
Alluvial SPAM
Chitterlings, hawgmaws, and snot...
Reconstituted.

--Ivan Itchi Butt, scratchit4me.now

10033.
"I will work for SPAM"
That's what the cardboard sign said.
Windshield-smearing bum.

--Streetlife

10034.
Liposuction goop
Surrounds a pink mass of SPAM.
Fat recycles well.

--O A Chickies

10035.
Horizontal bop?
Naval to naval, hmmm, love?
Just a fight for SPAM.

--Gene Pit Knee, genepool@ymca

10036.
Slime me Babycakes
In the soft fluff of Vermont
Snow angel Spamming

--Sad Cucumber

10037.
My SPAMku has died.
Lifeless, wrinkled, pale, flaccid.
It's been Lewinskied

--Big Bubba Bill, ibD1

10038.
SPAM and day-old bread.
Trail mix for homeless winos.
Winettes tote it too.

--Streetlife

10039.
"Wild I" and cold SPAM
The breakfast of champions
Shelter grub is good

--Streetlife

10040.
Conservatives please,
Get rid of all useless pols.
Want spam? Then vote spam.

--Anon, Anon

10041.
Take a bath with SPAM
Erotic, pleasurable
Cheap, and can't gossip.

--Reelaxating, OHIO

10042.
amada luna
de satines helados
insigne tumba

--Miguel Angel Perez Alvarez, mapa@servidor.unam.mx

10043.
Before the snake was...
Antediluvian goop
Was harvested.....SPAM!

--Madam and Deve, degarden@last.com

10044.
Psychiatrists all
Prescribe SPAMku quite freely
Prozac for the poor

--No Sighed Defects, PDR@pg.1423

10045.
We had a cute pig
Named her "Spam" and loved her well.
No bones about it.

--Petite Tersall

10046.
Wennie, Rhode Island
Drug capital of the world
No SPAM about it

--Roger Williams

10047.
Vegan SPAM for me
Hawg droppings in the green can
Natural, tasty

--Yolanda Yuppitis, savetheblank@last

10048.
Ripples in the pond
Reflections of happiness
When I tossed my SPAM

--Dented Waters, give@hoot.pollute

10049.
Jose de SPAM man
Ate it cold outa da can
You know what I mean?

--JAG

10050.
Lord I've seen the light
In the middle of the night
Refrigerated

--No 1

10051.
Say grace beforehand
And thanksgiving afterward
If you survive....SPAM!

--EASD

10052.
Real broads don't eat SPAM
Some of the "butchie" gals do
Just to be macho

--Anonymous

10053.
I be eating Spem
Lo dese many years an say
Burp! Ahhh, tha's bettah

--Deelishus, don't got one

10054.
Our child's first word...."SPAM"
She never did say much more,
But she sure could grunt.

--Butler, butler@sprynet.com

10055.
Be careful with it
SPAM causes big bubble butts
And butt bubbles too.

--Arsenio Hallway

10056.
Ahhh, it's summertime.
Lots of pink meat showing...Sweet!
SPAM thrives at the beach.

--Anonymous

10057.
Sand in your SPAM girls?
Wiggle it out when you walk.
Puts glide in your stride.

--I. Lovett

10058.
"Welcome, you've got mail."
I get wired and excited...
But it's only SPAM.

--Droopy Drawers

10059.
Five syllables SPAM
Seven syllables SPAMku
SPAM syllables five

--Ohyea Didit

10060.
Tell me a story
About a life so peaceful
It is all SPAMKU

--ITCHIBUTT

10061.
Interestingly
Pink stares at me from its crib
Shining, infantile

--Goo Goo Spam

10062.
What's for dessert mom?
SPAM pudding with bacon grease.
Hold the chocolate.

--Anonymous

10063.
Use SPAM in a spell.
Get even with the bad guys.
Hell....make them eat it!!

--La Femme Witchita

10064.
Newt's eyes and toad's tongues
are good spell ingredients,
but SPAM is the best!!

--La Femme Witchita

10065.
Soft and pink like flesh;
carve SPAM in human image.
Instant voodoo doll!

--La Femme Witchita

10066.
this goddamn e-mail
fills my inbox every day
with NO greasy salt

--Chris, beerdevotion@hotmail.com

10067.
SPAM is the greatest
It smells like Chris Hyson's mom
Which is a bad smell

--Todd Merriam

10068.
Blue Hills Beantown e-
cho with the mayors mumblings....
"Love me!"...but it's SPAM

--Beantowner, Pphhrrrt@him

10069.
Found it on my stoop
In an unmarked paper bag.
Squat when you eat SPAM.

--Charlie Brown

10070.
Death carries a scythe.
He slices SPAM on the run.
Quick, under the bed.

--Richard Wilkinson, rick@sprint.net

10071.
Trap door pajamas.
Village People on the loose.
Spam Francisco bites!

--Hank T., None

10072.
In New York harbor,
The Statue of Liberty
Weeps teardrops of SPAM.

--Buddy Gordon, heybuddy@jhk.net

10073.
Spamergency ward.
Cut off his SPAM at its base.
Hmmmmm, "Mismanaged Care."

--Loki Toki, anon.

10074.
Spamergency ward.
Cut off his SPAM at its base.
Hmmmmm, "Ms. Managed Care."

--Loki Toki, anon.

10075.
Purgatorial....
That's how my life has become.
My wife has found SPAM.

--Pray4Me, pray4me.willya.now

10076.
SPAM gel can be found
In bathroom deodorant,
Shrinking, shriveling.

--Redoozit

10077.
My new netsuki
Is a little blue SPAM can
From failing Japan.

--stillwater, anon.

10078.
Be at peace...Be still,
Contemplating SPAMku deep....
Wonder-filled, awed-some!

--Kabuki Bulkie, Deli@essex.sta

10079.
Ahhhh, Adam and Eve
In the garden of Eden
Wham, SPAM, thank you ma'am!

--Caning Able, Thegarden.lush

10080.
I never inhaled.
I never had sex with (blank).
SPAM is delicious.

--Bubba's Truths, nomeman.nonet

10081.
Ants in your pants gal?
Stop eating all that McCrap!
Get down with the SPAM.

--Geo Deo, Geodeo@here.net

10082.
Waterfall, plum tree
Peaceful pools of still water
Reflect on my SPAM.

--U. Knowitt

10083.
Some SPAMku can be
Just as slimy and salty
As the real pink meat.

--Ruth MD, cmecu@nite.com

10084.
SPAM sukiyaki
Is very popular dish
Served with micro chips.

--Ben Dare, dundat@1X

10085.
Land of rising SPAM
How abundantly you lived
What's happened Yoko?

--Yoko Ohno, )(*&^%*(*&%$#&^

10086.
And on the eighth day
God created Hormel SPAM.
Let the show begin!

--Genesis

10087.
Nada, nil, none, zip
The new salt-free, fat-free SPAM.
An empty green can.

--Lover of SPAM

10088.
Deep in hell's kitchen
Satan is preparing SPAM
That's why it's called Hell

--Meat Chu Dere, down and down.net

10089.
Squat when you say SPAM
It's an act of reverence
Sooner or later

--Spamming, SPAMku

10090.
Postal employees
Take SPAM breaks regularly
To reload their guns

--US Male

10091.
SPAM toilet tissue
Soft as a baby's bottom
And twice as stinky

--Charmin, squeeze@end.com

10092.
Christian Jim Bakker,
A honky tonk man of old,
Spammed his flock daily.

--Tammy Fake Baker, Tammy

10093.
Please pass me the SPAM
Be double quick about it
My bung hole's oozing

--Jim Baker of Bunz

10094.
My new day-timer
Overflowing oozing SPAM
Things to eat today

--Monica D. Player, Kneepads@usa

10095.
Smell Beantown's mayor;
Sour, sickly odor of SPAM
Trails where e'er goes he.

--Spammin' Beans, mumblemumble.com

10096.
Yellow Jacket bait
The little buggers love SPAM
All pols and hacks do

--Missed Trishia

10097.
In ailing Japan
SPAM sushi will feed the poor
And the well-kept whore

--Mitzu Bichi, ford@spry.net

10098.
My shrink named Abbot
Got into the SPAM habit
And passed for a nun.

--NY New York, No Thanks!

10099.
Kiddy porn is bad
But food porn is even worse
Imprison Hormel

--Free Dee, Oh Yes!

10100.
dingy loaf of meat
do we detect a heartbeat?
spam transcends all things

--troutman@sunset.backbone.olemiss.edu