SPAM Haiku 9901-10000

Move backwards to Numbers 9801-9900.


9901.
CATCH CRABS USING SPAM
Bag ladies do it for food
Trade your SPAM for sex
--Belinda Baglady, Sallies.Army.netted

9902.
No SPAM for the poor
Only in America
Let them drink foodstamps!

--The Gov., robUall@once

9903.
Pork-barreled rummies
All line their pockets with SPAM
Your SPAM and my SPAM

--Newt Dinkridge, U gotta no it

9904.
Porcophageous.
Redundant, inane, silly!
Man, I hate SPAMku.

--SPAMka Ka, johnny@the.spot

9905.
Porky Pig was Spammed
Met him on a slice of bread
Da Deee! That's all folks!

--Insect Rabbit, luvsmyspam@pm

9906.
Pot-bellied pig pet,
Comes with its own blue playpen.
Get one for your kids.

--Pig's Tie, anonymous

9907.
Syllables of SPAM
Sprinkled over pink pages
Stomach graffitti

--Type Tripe, traders55@aol.com

9908.
Congratulations!
Spamku is rising once more
Pfizerless riser

--Deadeyed Dick, anon.

9909.
Lead in your pencil?
More Oomph in your flaccid Stoomph?
SPAM stiffs Viagra!

--I.M. Potent

9910.
Recycled hog parts
Predigested squeal filet
Say grace and eat.....SPAM!

--Thank You For Your Time, Amen

9911.
Big Bertha golf club
Carved out of a block of SPAM
All golfers eat it

--Retrosport, trappers662aol.com

9912.
Louise shakes her can
and everything else at hand.
Was it blue before?

--Louise Woodyward, killerLouise@uk.nut

9913.
Oh no, stop Louise!
Shake that little can, we said.
You spammed the baby.

--Louise Please, anonUK

9914.
Yuppies don't eat SPAM,
It's too easy to pronounce.
They marry their SPAM.

--Aunt Tillie, Tiel@aol.com

9915.
Phil Hartman, too bad....
"I'll never eat SPAM again,"
Last words to his wife.

--Gondiga Gomes, gondiga@tvnet.com

9916.
America! SPAM,
Deviled eggs, Cheez Whiz, Twinkies,
Biscuits, and gravy.

--Uncle Sammy, anon.

9917.
But do you love SPAM?
(The honeymoon is over.)
Yes, I still love SPAM!

--Acronymouse, Anonymouse

9918.
SPAM goes with mayo,
Like hot sauce goes with beaver.
Leave your SPAM alone!

--Uncle Judd, None

9919.
Try as though I may,
I cannot eat SPAM tonight.
We're out of barf bags.

--Momentito, lyle@radionet.com

9920.
Submitted SPAMku.
I'm awaiting anxiously
For it to repeat.

--Re: Peter, pete@hudnet.com

9921.
The new Fat-Free SPAM.
I opened the can and found....
A small pink raisin.

--Fat free SPAMku, n/a

9922.
The girl from Iran
Never did read the Koran
But did love her SPAM

--rich077@flash.net

9923.
My mom fed me SPAM
long before I ever heard
of Monty Python.

--Leslie Sterling, sterling@law.harvard.edu

9924.
Iron Butterfly
Ina Gadda da Vida
I Love you Spammy

--odelphi@interserv.com

9925.
Truman Capote
Wrote "In Cold Blood" eating SPAM
He became a drunk

--odelphi@interserv.com

9926.
Egyptologist
Finds hieroglyphics in tomb
Translates, "Eat More SPAM"

--Anonymous

9927.
Darkness covers earth
SPAM looms large in the distance
Men cower in fear

--Scott Dickison, sdickison@fmsmeng.com

9928.
Friday after lunch.
Eyelids low. SPAM not at work.
My brain fills with pork.

--Anonymous

9929.
sea salt, creamy fat
slickly slide, pillowy plop.
edible or pet?

--foehn

9930.
jelly bellies pink;
issuers of oink and grunt.
blue steel coffin, rest.

--foehn

9931.
happy in muddy
waddle to meaty demise
buried in blue steel

--foehn

9932.
last in cupboard, spam
fry with taters and old eggs?
nightmare for breakfast?

--foehn

9933.
sunset crimson pink,
sea blue tin surrounds, enfolds...
my repast fights me!

--foehn

9934.
teeny pieces, chop!
under pressure cohere, pop!
out of the tin, plop!

--foehn

9935.
hard on the outside
soft luscious, warmly pink in--
pork with golden heart?

--foehn

9936.
slick and pink firmness;
springing up and out of blue;
relished orally.

--foehn

9937.
I alone grip you.
I bite your slipperyness.
Salt and gel explodes.

--foehn

9938.
fallen from heaven
once blue, now shell pink meaty.
feed me what I want!

--foehn

9939.
harder for me, firm!
hands give heat, harder I cry!
greasily shrunk, done.

--foehn

9940.
SPAM! Give it to me!
Cross my lips with grease of pig!
Carnal delights, mine.

--foehn

9941.
sweat salt, sweat greasy.
dripping, oozing down pink meat--
surrender I do.

--foehn

9942.
roll me in sliced spam!
greasy thighs, slippery 'tween;
jeans dont fit before!

--Anonymous

9943.
So many SPAM cans
stacked for me, keys will open...
mouth and legs, what more?

--foehn

9944.
I leave SPAM, but lust...
pink and salt, you satisfy.
Diets are for naught.

--foehn

9945.
pushing that pink meat;
breathe hard, hands work, quickly jerk...
more spam to my mouth.

--foehn

9946.
so salt! so sunset!
place into mouth and suck now!
real good chew, spam is.

--foehn

9947.
Vegan's nemesis,
oinkers slaughtered for canning.
Carivores cry GOOD!

--foehn

9948.
salty and greasy.
wall'wing to dine, I forget...
in my lust for more.

--foehn

9949.
spam zombies wake up!
arise from coffins of steel...
last rest in stomachs.

--foehn

9950.
ultimate junk food.
grease, salt, and smoke in a can;
why do i love thee?

--foehn

9951.
Food for camp, I yearn.
Eat soft pink daily, I dream.
Dreaming I lust more.

--foehn

9952.
Invert open tin!
Newton's miracle and SPAM
over frying pan.

--Ricosan, fcunningham@mediaone.net

9953.
Hey! Extrey! Extrey!
Boston Globe busted for SPAM.
Can't fake it this time.

--Ronald McDonald

9954.
The pullet's surprise
The Boston Globe wins, hands down.
SPAM/egg on your face.

--Tickle Us Patricia, am Herald

9955.
Nuke war is over
SPAM and cockroaches tell jokes
Amid the ruins

--Ricosan, fcunningham@mediaone.net

9956.
John Nagamichi
Came to the crossroads and froze.
For us, he Cho's SPAM.

--TY JNC, Good Stuff!

9957.
Doggedly gnawing,
I chew through the blue SPAM can.
Hunger overpow'rs.

--Gumsy Gumps, Luv Mah Spam!

9958.
I never ate SPAM.
Folks said they'd e-mail me some...
Damn that message board!

--Newbie Dobie Don't, Dead Frank

9959.
There ought to be laws
Prohibiting SPAM abuse.
You'd all be in jail.

--Uk Ukky, No Need 4 Abuse

9960.
Princess Di was sweet.
The gourmet driver once said...
I'll eat SPAM and Di.

--UK Ukky, No Spam for me

9961.
Fitzwilliam N.H.
Run by a bunch of morons.
Sucked up too much SPAM

--Belss You, don'tcomehere@all

9962.
A pox on SPAMku...
May ye penners get the cramp.
Brain freeze all of ye.

--Roger Jolly, Div2@hownet.com

9963.
Lost Angeles SPAM
Found in cupboards of Satan
Misidentified

--Master Jack, Mj@ccamp.net

9964.
AUTOku daemon,
Accepts all, unceasingly.
She'll take all your spam.

--SPAMku daemon

9965.
Clinton gives us SPAM
Millions of children die
Chelsea survives

--spamnette

9966.
Tiny specks of white
Glisten in salmon aether;
Stars gleam in SPAM skies.

--Patrick Doyle, pdoyle@cs.stanford.edu

9967.
Upon bone white plates
Ovals of Spammy goodness;
Come, the feast begins.

--Patrick Doyle, pdoyle@cs.stanford.edu

9968.
My broad's can is blue
Tattoo ink does that to butts
But she ain't no SPAM

--Wilfred Willoughby, Texazz

9969.
Place SPAM between buns
Add your favorite toppings
Now try to sit down

--Perry White, Perry@wrtv.com

9970.
Yes! Jimmy Swaggart
Laid hands on my SPAM again.
His hands smell of fish.

--Sister Cary, anonymous

9971.
SPAM, I love you so.
Naked, pink, panting, waiting,
Am I sow, for you.

--Spamagra

9972.
Tyranny trembles
SPAM blue cans seen on the fields
Of warring countries.

--Semper Fi Fo Fum, anon.

9973.
Someone stole my SPAM.
I know who the culprit was.
Ptomaniacal.

--Play it again Spam, Hump-free Bogart

9974.
Give the lads some SPAM,
send them on their merry way.
Won't see them again.

--Menendez Boyz, Bang Bang

9975.
Set your traps with SPAM.
Lobsters are bottom feeders.
You'll come up empty.

--Up North, yeoldecrabman

9976.
I believe in spam;
I believe in its power;
Spam the world, says I.

--Ronald McDonald, achingarches.got

9977.
Oh how i love that
tasty, fleshy, and oh so
wonderful SPAM....yum.

--aNOnyMoUs, swankyboy@mailexcite.com

9978.
Flatulent guppies
Boil aquarium waters
Please don't feed fish SPAM

--flatulina bungus

9979.
Pink pork paté SPAM
You favor my tongue with juice
Viagra be gone

--Virgin Buoy

9980.
Eat, it's good for you.
So my dead mother told me
As she choked on SPAM.

--Red Traders, noone@nowhere.com

9981.
I once snorted SPAM
Through a thousand dollar bill.
A rare bird indeed.

--J. Autobann, Colonel2@gl.com

9982.
TO CLEANSE YOUR COLON:
Eat googobs of the pink meat
Leave San Francisco

--Elton Jack, Elton@ nowhere.com

9983.
Yuppie, know thyself.
Look deeply into your soul.
Progeny of SPAM.

--Wonderbread, Wone@prod.net

9984.
SPAM, ye vile product
Pork encased in slimy scum
Yuppie embryo

--Wonderbread, Wone@prod.net

9985.
Satan's snot blue-canned.
Isn't this pink baby cute?
We'll just call her SPAM.

--UK Nanny, uksc@once.net

9986.
Malodorous pork--
Howie, Virgin Boy, and SPAM:
Yuppies in a can.

--Chelsea Sid, Sid@homenet.com

9987.
If SPAM should smite thee
Gently turn the other cheek
And relieve yourself

--Reverso, Glenn@sprintnet.com

9988.
Vile, wretched SPAMku,
Pink slugs of Satan's garden.
Bore you. Bore me not.

--eve's leaf, AnOnYmOuS

9989.
Give me liberty,
Or give me Hormel SPAM boys.
No, on second thought.

--Grant Pardon, tome@once.huh

9990.
How do I love thee?
SPAM, just let me count the ways.
Sixty-nine feels right.

--Brodie

9991.
SPAMKuing one night
Aware of the pink full moon
I hoisted my pants

--Monty Full, Full@ind.edu

9992.
Mom makes our dinner
Smiles, set SPAM on the table
We puke on our plates

--Ratmoler Hamstak, hamstak@yahoo.com

9993.
From somewhere inside
Unknown organ in a tin
I think it's my spleen

--Ratmoler Hamstak, hamstak@yahoo.com

9994.
Trenchcoat, collar up,
fedora; covers most pink.
SPAM Spade, Private Eye.

--Fred Kirby

9995.
Troops will move north soon
Last meal before the battle
So thankful for SPAM

--Fred Kirby

9996.
Up before the sun.
Skillet sizzles, smell of fat,
SPAM and eggs, with toast.

--Fred Kirby

9997.
Stepmother's eat treat!
"Lube my thighs, oh Pinky Log!"
Sane stepdaughter gags.

--kat_fud, here-kitty.com

9998.
Never ate of SPAM
And yet it still inspires me
SPAM dream go away

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9999.
SPAM sits atop cliff
Ponders own mortality
(Expiration Date)

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

10000.
Eat SPAM and you die
SPAM--the unknown can--filling
Make the hurting stop

--Stephen


Move forwards to Numbers 10001-10100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.