SPAM Haiku 9801-9900

Move backwards to Numbers 9701-9800.

9801.
Gypsy caravan
Teller said "Beware the SPAM"
Nights have been sleepless

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9802.
Unsuspecting SPAM
Enters flower and is trapped
Nature takes all in

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9803.
Zen koan of sorts:
What is outside of the can?
Only the SPAM knows.

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9804.
I don't know The Way
I pretend enlightenment
But SPAM will teach me

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9805.
Indeed only SPAM
Can teaches one the true Way
Just a play on words

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9806.
It is tasty fun.
It is fattening and fun
It is illegal

--anonymous

9807.
I have seen the SPAM
and it does look like SPAM. It
stinks, therefore it is.

--Murray, mwjansen@email.msn.com

9808.
Crimes against mankind
include murder, treason, and
a big mess o' SPAM.

--Little Shovel

9809.
A story of woe:
Trick-or-Treaters open bags
and find wet pink chunks.

--Little Shovel

9810.
It's easy to write.
Too difficult to swallow.
SPAMku and canned SPAM.

--Spamaniac, SpammerJammer@bop.ner

9811.
Shuah, I chewed SPAM once,
But ah nevah swallered it.
Ah know what's PC.

--William Jefferson C., history@vomit.bag

9812.
Values are like SPAM.
Gumming them to death, I learned,
We all gotta spit.

--ragi

9813.
SPAM implants work fine.
Dolly Parton says they do.
But beware of dogs.

--Airport Dawgs, Katz@serve.not

9814.
Flatulence and SPAM
Twins, separated at birth.
Only one smells good.

--Flatulina Amongus, Phrrrrt2once.not

9815.
Beans amplify SPAM.
Potentiated times ten.
Hike up the volume!

--Flatulina's Friend, Beano Not!

9816.
We had a pet fish.
We fed it SPAM every day.
Sigh. Our pet fish died.

--RosieSari

9817.
Flew over Greenland.
When we crashed, we ate canned SPAM.
Now I am nuclear.

--RosieSari

9818.
SPAM, the food of Death
Tearing my innards apart
SPAM, the food of Death

--Scott Dickison, sdickison@fmsmeng.com

9819.
SPAM self-awareness
Impervious gelatin
"The Spaminator"

--Jeff de Lapp, badblndboy@msn.com

9820.
Make a sandwich thus
(OREO of erstwhile meats):
SPAM on TREET on SPAM.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9821.
What goes into SPAM?
Recycled bits of head cheese?
Nothing; SPAM is prime.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9822.
A man, a plan, a
can o' SPAM, & maps on a
canal: Panama!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9823.
Rosannadanna,
twenty-second century,
triumphs over SPAM!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9824.
Tell me once again
That Aesop's fable about
The Hound and the SPAM!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9825.
Look, off to the left!
It's a herd of spamalopes!
What hath Larson wrought?

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9826.
Avast, ye mateys!
Crack open that treasure chest...
Twelve cans o' SPAM???!!! Awrrrrrrrrrr!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9827.
No, sir, I do not
Bite my SPAM at you, sir, but
I bite my SPAM, sir.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9828.
Hectic life. No time.
SPAM sandwich and chips for lunch.
Sorry arteries!

--Penny deLapp, pdelapp@mgtassociates.com

9829.
I eat SPAM only
Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall
Boy does my ass hurt

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9830.
It's Pretty in Pink
Ringwald? No, the Ring of Fire!
Johnny you bastard

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9831.
It slipped down my throat
A pink vessel with White Stars
And the band played on

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9832.
Brick by brick, by brick.
At last, my moist pink fortress.
You feel lucky, punk?

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9833.
In the hot dog cart,
Dirty-Water SPAM frolics
With old friends, briefly.

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9834.
SPAMGLISH NOT ALLOWED
Saw that sign in New Delhi.
I went home to SPAM.

--Capt. Spamerica, theone@prodigy.ner

9835.
SPAM, all you can eat,
At Mr. Winkies take-out.
Well, it tastes that way.

--Newt Greengrinch, AnNOnyMOus

9836.
Yo lissen' up bro'....
Ghetto steak for all, Toonight!
Spam me mammy, yah!

--Morris Chester, Mo@aol.com

9837.
The Bible said it.
"We can't live on bread alone."
But SPAM's not mentioned.

--Doridan Hayes

9838.
Spread some SPAM on mat.
To see hordes of rug munchers
Rush out of closets.

--Ellen D

9839.
No "Blue Light Specials"
For SPAM munchers of the world.
Pay your top dollar.

--Salivationist's Navy, AnonMouse

9840.
Blue caskets of SPAM
Gather dust on grocer's shelves.
The graveyard of saints.

--Salivationist's Marine Corps, AnonMouse

9841.
When Tyson ate SPAM,
He lost to Buster Douglas.
Don King won again.

--Me Bad Box, Mebad@divenet.com

9842.
Monica ate the
Sick Presidential Aides Meal.
Lewinski loved it!

--Blewinski, Monica, Bleep me, I mean beep me Bill

9843.
When the pope ate SPAM
He began speaking Spanish.
Hormel milagros!

--Lefty G., Unlisted

9844.
Now listen up babes.
Firm, pink meat has no conscience.
Cross your lips to SPAM.

--Mums Mumbles, N/A

9845.
I salivate for
Glistening column of pink
Can not wait to lick

--Anonymous

9846.
Where does Hell exist?
Somewhere between loaves of SPAM
and Courtney Love's thighs.

--Little Shovel

9847.
It tastes like...jelly?
Well, it must be jelly 'cause
SPAM don't shake like that!

--Little Shovel

9848.
Panting dogs await
Key turns slowly on blue can
Dogs eat poop instead

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9849.
Quivering pink cube
My death wish is now complete
I dig in madly

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9850.
With my x-ray eyes
I can spy a pink delight
Through tin and aspic

--Enrico Seaveedra Guatamala, pivo@aol.com

9851.
Sweet rose petals fall
Valley deep tossed unconcened.
So too should canned SPAM.

--Aligator Dundoodoo

9852.
SPAM goes to the head.
Rippled waters, once serene.
Don't forget to flush.

--Hedda Hopper

9853.
Pink moon's a-rising.
Pentangles of SPAM are drawn.
And the she wolf howls.

--Capt. Jockstrap, Nateb@not.net

9854.
Lights out by ten girls.
All SPAM out by ten-thirty.
Virgins of Hormel.

--Merry Be, };-{>

9855.
It is fleshy pink
It comes from the tin plopping
It fills my sandwich

--Alison Dunne and Lisa Pickard

9856.
grasping your thin ring
vacuum-packed pork air whooshes!
smile of spam revealed

--Ron Suresha, rsuresha@spdcc.com

9857.
Like a cow gone bad
So too does SPAM blemish meats
It must be stopped! Now.

--Katherine, PopsicIgrl

9858.
Spamaholic Kate
Ate SPAM to help her lose weight.
She was a loser.

--Not For OA

9859.
Hormelphobic John
Just smelled it and he was gone.
PC?...No, not me!

--John D. John, JohnOnDjohn.com

9860.
Spamango ice cream
On a sticky summer's day.
Contented yuppies.

--Sterling Rockford, Srock@die.net

9861.
Some pigs die squealing.
Thus, SPAM is lubricated.
Silence of the pigs.

--Howdy Y'all

9862.
Ghetto behind me.
I still keep SPAM in da house.
Makes a good door stop.

--Charles Smith

9863.
Ground SPAM in cold beer.
So cleansing and refreshing.
Bulemic cocktail.

--Rusty Waters, rus@compnet.com

9864.
Bag lady cookies.
Main ingredient is SPAM.
You just can't eat one.

--Flatulina Fibbius, Phrrrt@once.com

9865.
Flip SPAM on the coals.
Ignite it, wait ten minutes.
Now grill your burgers.

--Agood Recipee, Chuck@aol.com

9866.
Autopsies do show,
SPAM's the undertaker's friend.
It don't leave no wounds.

--Anonymous

9867.
Endlessly drifting....
Hormelorific odor.
Looking for its place.

--SPAMkuku, OUbitme Japan

9868.
See how it glistens,
Gelatinous pink substance,
Meatoid enigma.

--David Franks, chautauqua@feist.com

9869.
With pineapple rings,
Criss-cross gashes, stuck with cloves!?
Who ever bothered?

--David Franks, chautauqua@feist.com

9870.
Much SPAM writing done
Ten thousand mighty efforts
Moment of silence

--Ross B.

9871.
Must a SPAM haiku
Conform to the rigid box
Like SPAM does?

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9872.
I called my dog "Spam."
"Heel" I said and "drop that bone."
Then he bit my heel.

--Anti-Spamist, gregory@aol.com

9873.
Cold SPAM and hot beans,
Go together though it seems
A dreary duo.

--MD Pepper, urapepper@last

9874.
Building blocks of life
Are composed of Hormel SPAM.
And so's our outhouse.

--Whomping Good, Anonymous

9875.
SPAMness perMEATes
The disposal sits waiting
I squeeze the on switch

--Garb Age, anonmous

9876.
Clinton's big mistake
SPAM Vodkas with Yeltsin made
Albright's butt look cute

--SPAM-Boo

9877.
Bob was a can of
SPAM! And he was eaten up
so up your toilet!

--Boon Whoon McGoon, Mad R McG

9878.
Hawaiian breakfast
for most locals and haoles
SPAM and eggs and rice

--Mike Cusick, mjcusick@sttl.uswest.net

9879.
On china by Spode
Eat only on the commode
SPAM pie a la mode

--Yuppisux, Harvard.edu.nut

9880.
Man...in the nineties
Trichinosistic being
Eat SPAM and Sueeey!

--TV Lawyer, 1-800-Sue4you

9881.
Stuff hog guts with SPAM
Or is SPAM stuffed with hog guts?
Bill Clinton should know

--Strap Me Down, Moose@crossing

9882.
SPAM implants here free
If you want one just "Suuuueeey"!
Ride 'em high with me

--Hilife, Hi@the moment

9883.
Frogs do not eat SPAM,
And they "croak" every evening.
Don't croak, eat your SPAM.

--Tadpole, Mudpuddle@last

9884.
SPAM is domestic.
Foreign matter never found.
It was never lost.

--Red, White and spAMERICAn Blue, Buy USA Today

9885.
Russkies had no SPAM,
They crumbled to their Kneecaps,
"Lewinskied" themselves.

--Red, White and spAMERICAn Blue, Buy USA Today

9886.
I submit SPAMku,
But cannot bite and chew words.
I waaa-waaa want SPAM!

--None Entered, None Entered

9887.
Pink Panther of SPAM
Mustard runs down his left leg
Endangered species

--Spamwitches, Halloweenie@last

9888.
I kept repeating:
SPAM is the way and the light.
But Lord, did I stray.

--Jimmy Swaggart, sendme$$@once

9889.
SPAM in the sunshine
It flutters delightfully
Maggots turn to flies

--Come Fly With Me, Anon.

9890.
Creative juices
Flow like plum nectar. Could be
Glop from the SPAM can.

--David Franks, communist@commie.com

9891.
Coat thy pan in PAM.
Not for lamb, nor ram, nor ham
but for SPAM, for SPAM.

--Josh Draper, jhd@quokka.com

9892.
I wander alone
With my can of SPAM, silent
Ahhhh, the tangy salt

--Spencer Schneidenbach, prncsmary9@aol.com

9893.
Work sucks, life is rough
Lunch hour is never enough
SPAM tastes great on bread

--D$

9894.
your can is empty
you are gone from me my spam
my eyes fill with tears

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9895.
SPAM, your mystery
flavor haunts my nightly dreams.
I have to have more!

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9896.
rubber cube of pink
it's naked to all the world
spam has feelings too

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9897.
senses awakened
the blue can sits before me
lunch is now complete

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9898.
A pink Spamingo
Floridian waterfowl
Perches on two sticks

--KENtucky Fried Spam, colonel@gripe.net

9899.
Brandy, SPAM me please
You are my salt and pepper
Seasons come and go

--Mr. Winkie, anon.

9900.
Spamdango...olé!
Your juices ran down my leg
Dancing with hot SPAM

--Arthur Moray, Fleet@enima.coma