SPAM Haiku 11201-11300

Move backwards to Numbers 11101-11200.

11201.
My gal smells like SPAM
From the neck down...I love her
She's a salty dog.

--Ernie Poole

11202.
a fresh SPAM omelet
beaten ovule, swine bits, cheese
it needs much pepper

--Muffy the Pig Poker, muffypp@hotmail.com

11203.
slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, plop!
the hunter is approaching
the endangered spam

--Alex and Tony, barrelsoffun@hotmail.com

11204.
Santa eats reindeer
But he swears to God it's SPAM
Elves are born liars

--Grumpus

11205.
I regard the cube
Cube regards me intently
SPAM staring contest

--Muffy the Pig Poker, muffypp@hotmail.com

11206.
Pork implants work fine
Have your SPAM and eat it too
Viagra begone!

--Anonymous

11207.
SPAM for Thanksgiving
Give 'em all the bird this month
It's the thing to do.

--Anonymous

11208.
Stink up the damned house
Serve SPAM on Thanksgiving Day
Democratic food

--Pat the dog

11209.
Cabbage moth snowflakes
Drifting, falling, fragile bits
While the SPAM sizzles

--Loco Ohno

11210.
"Price check! Case of SPAM!"
(After paying with food stamps
my shame is complete.)

--Michael Kalantarian, mk@sonic.net

11211.
Wedding cake of SPAM,
tiers aplenty. Cheap, filling,
outlasts marriage too.

--Michael Kalantarian, mk@sonic.net

11212.
Gloved hands hide fingers
That stroke SPAM and form strange signs
Unread by the rich.

--Spamigo

11213.
Moonlit SPAM at pond
Asks crickets a Zen koan
Pond rock only laughs

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

11214.
SPAM, my heart is yours
To die with you, oh my SPAM
From cholesterol

--Anonymous

11215.
Latest theory in
quantum chromodynamics:
the SPAM has strange spin!

--Arthur Durkee, Stickdragn@aol.com

11216.
The president lies
Other pols cover it up
But SPAM is honest

--Demoncrat

11217.
The SPAM stepping stones
Through the gardens of my life
To the old out house

--Fast Freddie

11218.
SPAM in outer space
Trouser weasel strikes again
More smoke and mirrors

--Butt Boy Glen

11219.
My SPAM has gone bad.
And how the hell can you tell?
That IS the question.

--Joseph Gozdon

11220.
Little pink porklet
How sweet you look next to beans
I believe it's love

--Cornbread Toast

11221.
There are no answers,
And the only question.....SPAM?
The great mystery.

--Milton Fr. Ma.

11222.
Ah, "Spammy" the Pig
So near, and yet so far, from
Canned pink succulence

--Anonymous

11223.
Massachusetts SPAM
We call it "Cellucci" here
Some pretty rank stuff

--George Reed, Georee@healpnet.com

11224.
Phlegmatic SPAMku
In the cesspool of Tom's mind
Oozed out thick as pus

--Bob Rafuse, BURLINGTON

11225.
Intestinal breeze
Measured in secret wind speed
Spamic Fartulence

--Pat the Dog, Kick the cat

11226.
SPAMkuaholics
Should have handicapped status.
Write your congressmen!

--Kick the Cat, Pat the Dog

11227.
SPAM foodaholics
Should have tasticapped status
And their tongues broken.

--Stroke the Lizzard, Caress the Clam

11228.
SPAM needs tenderness
Appreciate it daily
Pat it now and then

--Loving Spam I am

11229.
Lillys of the field
Long since dead SPAM eating folks
Wait with mouths agape

--Tom Violet Waiting, waiting for, S P A M Dammit!

11230.
Spambidextrous Tom
Could eat his SPAM with either
Yoga classes eh?

--Tom Violet Waiting, waiting for, S P A M Dammit!

11231.
SPAM in outer space
NASA plays another prank
Bubba pulls it off

--Capt. Spamerica, Wash Wash. D.C.

11232.
Burp triumphantly!
You've finished your SPAM sushi.
Yes, you eat it raw.

--Frisco Franks, Nob Hill

11233.
Happy Birthday SPAM!
*Cheers*, *Applause*, *Burps*, *Farts*, and *Grunts*
SPAM, we all love you!

--Harold Hormel, spamlover@aol.com

11234.
My slippery friend,
Tied to my pennyloafers
Hauling ass downhill

--Charles Heath, Heath_Charles@msmail.asd.k12.ak.us

11235.
My pink amigo,
moist with the juices of love
screaming out, "Eat me!"

--Charles Heath, Heath_Charles@msmail.asd.k12.ak.us

11236.
Watch out! SPAM's coming.
Squooch, squelch, bumph, ploop, snudge, wupp, ugh.
Tripped one...it slithered.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11237.
Talk about one's SPAM?
No...I think I'd rather not.
It makes me feel shy.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11238.
Shut eyes. Concentrate.
Now, truly, what do you see?
Ah!..one SPAM gagging.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11239.
Lost my SPAM today.
Pink, cuboid family friend.
Answers to "Horace."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11240.
The SPAM loaf cometh.
Our champing jaws salivate.
Ah...the scrumptious gel!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11241.
SPAM, like a newborn
Muconium-like texture
Which do I love more?

--Daniel Kahn

11242.
Our first-born child does
Look a lot like a SPAM loaf.
Thank God it is not!

--Daniel Kahn

11243.
Never tasted SPAM
I don't think I ever will
I believe SPAMku

--Broken Squash

11244.
Broken tongued parrots
Chatter in lines of SPAMku
Again and again

--SPAMku You Too!

11245.
Cheap eats SPAM once was.
Helped many a poor man out
Of the project slums.

--All Leaf Oil and Poop Pie, Bluto in Lawrence

11246.
The lost world of SPAM
Under the kitchen counter
Is covered with dark

--Union St. Gang

11247.
When his time had come
That stalwart mister pig put
His shoulder in it

--Matt, mdaly@accn.org

11248.
SPAM thou art my joy
But 'tis not thy taste I love
'Tis thy oozing fat

--The Dead Pig

11249.
Vintage SPAM had cheese
To thicken up the stool-drool
And reduce "SPAM squirts."

--Mary Jane Thomas

11250.
Mating in the dark
SPAM cans Clunk! and bump ugly
Chasing off roaches.

--Mary Jane Thomas

11251.
Fall fireside dining
Browned Spamkabarfs on a stick
Sure beats the mission

--Patricia Barry, anonymously written

11252.
Spamicidal gel
Use it to lube down your tube
Quiets the eel squeal

--Brownie McNugget, Beatrail@pit.com

11253.
Found in the dumpster
A half eaten can of SPAM
Next to a dead rat

--Dee Licious, Deedee@parknoet .com

11254.
A SPAM in the hand
Is then worth two in the Bush
If your name is George.

--yUK yUK

11255.
SPAM can get crusty
If it hangs out overnight.
Put your SPAM away.

--Victoria Valor, vicki@hotnet.com

11256.
I used to love SPAM
Until my last pink pork binge
Now I'm withdrawing

--Spamus Interruptus

11257.
I cough up pink phlegm
And little chunks of SPAM meat--
Spamatorium.

--Raw Oysters

11258.
Labor'tory rats
Would rather eat SPAM than cheese
Post-lobotomy.

--David Numberman

11259.
Allison my love
You're so much like a SPAM chunk,
Quiet, pink, and wet.

--Allison's Good Buddy, Coolbeans

11260.
Christmas SPAM is ripe
Red and green colored yule logs
From the old privy

--Sparky from Arky

11261.
My SPAM is neither
Luncheon nor meat by golly,
It's food for the soul.

--Dick Ted Tospam

11262.
Spamalade jelly
It's great on crumpets with tea--
Drove Di up a wall.

--yUK yUK, anonymous

11263.
SPAM instant replay:
Bite, chomp-chomp, *retch*, slurp Burp/Fartz!
Gawd! never again.

--Dingo Plinker, vegemite.com

11264.
SPAM jingoism
Amazing grace of Hormel
I'm in total awe

--Amazing Grace Murphy, How sweet the guttural sound

11265.
Lard bellied Santa
Ate far too much reindeer SPAM
To fly this Christmas.

--Santa's ex Chef, %#$&%#$# ! AWOL OAer

11266.
...amber lights scattered
across an urban surface
like glowing fireflies

--Tatius@aol.com

11267.
My heart doth protest,
my veins, my veins, they harden,
yet, SPAM, thee I crave.

--Kathleen, Queen of Mean, kkratzat@carthage-high.moric.org

11268.
SPAM am some good stuff
It's Good in two ways......No good
And good for nothing.

--Spamigo

11269.
"SPAM! Working class food."
"Stick to your drawers type food."
Bill Clinton said that.

--I Believe Bill.....The Electric bill.

11270.
New--SPAM Slices. Good
Idea! Folks who like it
Aren't safe with a knife...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

11271.
Have your swill, your gruel
I prefer pink jellied treat
True SPAMecstasy.

--Robbie Delite

11272.
O taste I detest
And parts of pig uncertain
Yet, SPAM I love thee

--The Dead Pig

11273.
Now stop this madness!
Madness, yes, your obsession
With harmless Hormel.

--Tom Lilly

11274.
SPAM fed our fathers
who fought bravely in the 'Nam.
Honor their effort.

--Tom Lilly

11275.
Our dog-eat-dog world
demands some sacrifices.
Die or eat SPAM? Live!

--Tom Lilly

11276.
I'd rather eat SPAM
than giggle in net chat rooms.
SPAM, at least, fulfills.

--Tom Lilly

11277.
SPAM saves starving lives.
Makes a man think. Be a man!
Think spamku saves lives?

--Tom Lilly

11278.
Tiresome, humorless
Instead of haiku on SPAM
More bad Clinton jokes

--anonymous

11279.
Seventy home-runs!
A can of SPAM every day,
That's how he did it!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11280.
Here we go again...
I thought I was over this
Spamku addiction.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11281.
Went a couple months
Without writing one Spamku
Then broke out in hives.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11282.
I am not quite sure
If the hives were from the loss,
Or from eating SPAM?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11283.
Pink meat in a can!
On the table every day,
When I'm home from school!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11284.
Went trick-or-treating.
The best treat that I received,
Was a can of SPAM.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11285.
Car was rusting out...
Till I patched the giant hole,
With a glob of SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11286.
White trash kids at school.
All they ever bring for lunch...
SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11287.
Of nuclear fusion.
Is it really possible?
Who cares? Let's eat SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11288.
Thanksgiving is soon!
Rhodes rolls and SPAM make great feast!
White trash meal of kings!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11289.
Time to go punch out!
Boy this day sure went by fast!
Writing SPAM Haikus!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11290.
Summertime TV
ad: "SPAMBURGER SPAMBURGER"
jingles in background

--Lachlan, Geelong

11291.
Working-class bar-B
green beer cans, coleslaw, kids play,
SPAM cubes in salad.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11292.
A journey so far;
SPAM maps my brief existence--
processed latitudes.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11293.
4 years old, I whinge
"It tastes yukky. I hate SPAM!"
"It's healthy," Mum fibs.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11294.
SPAM's pink shape vibrates
(seventeen year old tripping)
reach out and touch it!

--Lachlan, Geelong

11295.
19: SPAM cans are
not biodegradable.
"Unacceptable!"

--Lachlan, Geelong

11296.
Poverty stricken.
At 25 I have no
SPAM. Just one last taste.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11297.
29: edgy
The Frommel conspiracy
SPAM will end the world

--Lachlan, Geelong

11298.
The big four-oh, SPAM
made redundant by gourmet
living's honeyed meats.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11299.
50: spot SPAM in
supermarket--memories
flood my work-worn mind.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11300.
An old man's secret:
indulgence against regime
of health freak rules: SPAM.

--Lachlan, Geelong