SPAM Haiku 12801-12900

Move backwards to Numbers 12701-12800.


12801.
Cubed conformity
like suburban life, SPAM, you
are hard to stomach.
--John Ferrari

12802.
SPAM, you are pink death
embrace me not, Daddy-o:
Beatnik SPAM haiku.

--John Ferrari

12803.
Two thousand and one:
A SPAM monolith unearthed
perfectly preserved.

--John Ferrari

12804.
Benihana SPAM:
Slice it, dice it, grill it up,
tastes so exotic.

--John Ferrari

12805.
Blue can on the shelf;
unknown meat in opaque slime.
No one dares touch it....

--Jonathan Beasley

12806.
SPAM was in the womb
Meat, in the dawn of my life
Left the can behind

--ike plemons, taco0@hotmail.com

12807.
voilier sur les ondes
rien à manger que le SPAM
cuisine mal de mer

--Mike Beatty, beathy@TSO.Cin.IX.net

12808.
oh my freaking lord
this spam haiku disaster
what have we become?

--Anonymous

12809.
Pink sheen of bad ham.
Unfirmly as a bad bruise,
SPAM sits and glistens.

--doc M, from the 'Peg

12810.
Glistening lard cube
When I poke it with my fork,
The thing starts to bleed.

--aNonYmOus

12811.
Stuck to my leg pit
Last night's pink SPAM treat, Oh God!
Better than a man.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12812.
Hand carved Hormel SPAM
I do mix work with pleasure--
Are you hungry dear?

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12813.
Hanging in da Hood
Ya gets down to chomp da SPAM
It's for all my Gs

--G-man Ghet'to eats no chic'kan, It's like da creme of da crap!

12814.
The Clintons are just
Trailer park trash Kennedys
More U.S.A. SPAM!

--Ernie Rossault, Ernier@uk.net

12815.
Todos los person-
as en el mundo guapo
comer mucho SPAM.

--Rachel Annie Bananie

12816.
Get off your fat butt
What do you mean "There's no SPAM"?
Kidney/Pea soup's fine!

--Red nekked and proud of it!, bubba@dc.net

12817.
Ah Boston's Big Dig
Corrupted by pols and hacks
Spamenino town

--Virgil Lent Peepers, Watch the mayor

12818.
It's been here I know
SPAM tracks in my Jockey shorts--
But where is it now?

--Bobby Rogers

12819.
We were worked like dogs
We sure were dumb animals
All we ate was SPAM

--Billy Rogers, Burlington Ma.

12820.
When I eat SPAM, Wow!
I yodel-elay-heee-eeeee!
Down at the old Y.

--Jimmie Rodgers

12821.
Empty blue SPAM cans
Overflow McDonald's trash--
Where the hell's the beef?

--Awilda Beest

12822.
You like SPAM, loco?
Where the hell are your taste buds?
Hey! Pick up your pants.

--Izzie Kidden

12823.
Slipping and sliding
In gobs of SPAMgoo were we
Y2k KY.

--Jelly Don't Taste Like That!, KY is Kentucky Jelly?

12824.
Used to pick my nose
And hawk lugis, big thick ones
And then I found SPAM.

--Looks Like Gel, But ItSnot, Green Booger Ice Cream Co.

12825.
Foxwood's Casino
Indians scalp the white eyes
Leaving them for SPAM

--Red Tribution, Vaccumn their wallets braves!

12826.
My dog won't eat SPAM
but he likes to lick his butt--
That tells ya something.

--Charles E. Hoarse, charlie@webnet.com

12827.
French fried Hormel SPAM
Like most things from France suck big
And they smell bad too

--Put some France in your pants, or in the John

12828.
Monkey Spanking girl
Rosie O'Donnell knows SPAM
Shampoo this rug girl

--Squid Spanking Girl

12829.
I love my sweet SPAM
And I love your SPAM sourpuss
Eat, drink and vomit!

--Harold Klanton, Hklanton@uc.edu

12830.
Old wrinkled and worn
I can't remember the taste--
I think I loved SPAM!

--Ulysees D. Lite, but not often.

12831.
Hallowed pinkish SPAM
Drooling for you and on you--
And the old pond farts.

--Shirley Collins, Saugus Ma.

12832.
Bedazzling pork chunk
Magical, mystical SPAM--
Will I be the Prez?

--Billary Clintons

12833.
Butt crack pork stuffed pols
Wipe their elbows in the head--
Never knowing SPAM.

--Monica Meehan For President, On your knees Marty!

12834.
The old pond is dead
Choked on grease, oil, and SPAM cans--
Like my arteries.

--Itchibutt Skratchit, Itchibutt@crack.org

12835.
Where is Greenpeace now?
Whale watching and jean creaming--
Save the world from SPAM!

--Itchibutt Skratchit, Itchibutt@crack.org

12836.
I've SPAMmed many meals
After I acquired the *TASTE--
Or fried my palate.

--Jan Yuppinsky, *similar to the Acquired taste of many terrible ethnically eaten animal parts..ie fish chitterlings, sweetbreads

12837.
Drinking Wild Eye wine
I see the cherry blossoms--
I think of SPAMku.

--Velda's Vomitorium, We serve fresh winos and winettes daily.

12838.
Sex not that fat pig
Petunia will ruin ya
Dip your dink in SPAM

--Bildo Clinton Does It Again!, monkeydink@oval.come

12839.
Phallic SPAM dangling
Hung in the Cistern Chapel
Come all ye faithful

--Joe Bergogne, Jb18374@networks.com

12840.
Vermont you've fallen
Green mountains of moldy SPAM
And NY scumballs

--Gene Burroughs, none

12841.
Since I was a babe
Paddling in SPAM--a hobby
Feel the squidge on feet

--Joy and Kaby, Estella666@chickmail.com

12842.
SPAM and candle light
Slow cooked over gaseous flame--
Wax improves SPAM's taste.

--Howie Doinhuh, hd123@anchornet.com

12843.
Recollecting pigs
I think of my junior prom--
I nicknamed her SPAM.

--Fredrick Fowler, Freddy@arkienet.com

12844.
Skunk cabbage blossoms
Bouquets of burdock encrotched--
Field cooked SPAM dinner.

--Fredrick Fowler, Freddy@arkienet.com

12845.
when I was young my
dad gave me a spam sandwich
traumatic childhood

--Rev. S.A.S., revsas@hushmail.com

12846.
My stomach rumbles
Inverted brown Old Faithful--
Nine yards of tissue.

--Olive Pitts, OP@ao.net

12847.
I loved SPAM, I did
But I was forced to eat it--
S & M, W/F

--Awilda Beeste, awild@pm.org

12848.
Spank you in SPAMku
You're kinky, but no Freeman--
You ain't kosher SPAM!

--Oi Vey Already!

12849.
I won the raffle
A can of SPAM at G.A.
I'm on a roll now

--Ralphie Prudhomme

12850.
Time and time again
SPAM wet belches up on me--
Echoes of lunch time.

--Vinnie The Nose, noend@last.com

12851.
The monk spewed vomit
Like a Las Vegas fountain--
God and SPAM's revenge.

--Not Thelonius, MONKeying around.

12852.
SPAM and Polaners
A sweet and sour vomit bait--
Bulemic's delight!

--Ignatius Panda

12853.
Italian SPAM
Never in my Popemobile--
I don't like stained glass!

--Felix Dupont, feke@john.com

12854.
My sister eats SPAM
Then goes out and howls the moon--
She is a real dog.

--Lassie, woofwoof@kennel.edu

12855.
Ms. Beatrix Potwell
Cooked a fine SPAM casserole--
Nobody ate it.

--Jimmy Potwell

12856.
The war is on now
Do you believe this BS--
There's no SPAM shortage.

--Nelson Borders, teeter@the edge.com

12857.
Irony. Must eat
SPAM to achieve zen state then
write SPAM-ku and die.

--Tbone4

12858.
SPAM is for those that
really live life, unless they
drop dead. Then it's not.

--Tbone4

12859.
Life in the nineties
Flick your Bic and slam your SPAM--
And don't get married.

--Anne A. Partredge, In a pear tree?

12860.
Fat life in da hood
Pop-top SPAM eat fast and run--
Gold don't slow me down.

--Blue's the Color, And we're all pink inside.

12861.
Oyster juice surrounds
Or is it boiled okra pus?
SPAM sperm bank or what

--Mary Beth O'connell

12862.
Knock Knock. "Uh, who's there?"
"Hormel delivery man."
"Ain't nobody home."

--Cathy, DonCathy2

12863.
Slice thick; marinate.
Grill on mesquite barbecue
six minutes per side.

--Reed Monroe

12864.
You must tear the SPAM.
Don't cut it; that would ruin
your whole SPAM salad.

--Reed Monroe

12865.
She said she liked SPAM.
K-Mart cancelled her contract.
Martha Stewart's out.

--Reed Monroe

12866.
Budget caterers.
Pate sculpture. Fois de gras?
No, god damn, it's SPAM!

--Reed Monroe

12867.
"Ipecac syrup,"
Poison Control Center says.
"Don't have it? Use SPAM!"

--Reed Monroe

12868.
Found no teeth don't chew
Leave it for St. Crispen's day
Brave and foolish few

--Norm, SIC9@prodigy.net

12869.
spam of our fathers
holy spam, we will be true
to thee until death

--Anonymous

12870.
spam on the ceiling
how did it get there? only
crazy grandma knows

--Anonymous

12871.
some people eat spam
but what i like to do best
my friend, is snort it

--Anonymous

12872.
Pink wedge of heaven--
serve it with joy to loved ones
clasp tin to chest--sigh.

--Meerkat Selil

12873.
Infatuation
Surf SPAM ku site all day long
Brain waves cease function

--Brad Kautz

12874.
SPAM on Kosovo
Milosevic surrenders
A porcine peace prize

--Brad Kautz

12875.
PC won't reboot
Cycles but will never start
SPAM in the hard drive

--Brad Kautz

12876.
I ponder SPAMness
'Tis an interesting muse
Now I must vomit

--Brad Kautz

12877.
Hillary Clinton
Coming to NY to SPAM
Keep your legs crossed girls

--Bildo's Pervert, NY watch out!

12878.
Wrap yer lips round SPAM
Monica or Hillary--
Don't send us The Bill!

--Monica That Salty Lunch Meat Boys, And gals to of that persuasion.

12879.
Fledglings of SPAMku
I sit in the john and think--
But it just won't come.

--Bill Dillon

12880.
SPAM Porkaroni
Mmm-Mmm! Phrrrrrt! snif snif, munch munch--
Harvard serves brain food.

--Harve Farunueva, Ponce, PR

12881.
My SPAM tastes funny
Put some Heinz ketchup on it--
On "it" or my SPAM?

--Gary Glover, garyg@ao.net

12882.
Clinton names Hormel
Bane of right-wing homophobes
First SPAMbassador

--Peter Fotopoulos, peter_fotopoulos@hotmail.com

12883.
I eat SPAM with Joy
I relish her company--
And I still hate SPAM.

--No Ketchup Thanks!, It's goop for trailer park trash!

12884.
new marketing move
Baskin-Robbins SPAM Ice Cream
melting sandwiches

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12885.
Arkansas fans oink
Smack lips at tailgate parties
"How 'bout that SPAM!"

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12886.
Packs of hungry dogs
follow bikers eagerly
drawn by Spamdex shorts.

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12887.
Scientists in lab
make vegetarian SPAM.
Happy grunts from pigs.

--huber winton ellingswoth, winton112@aol.com

12888.
SPAM for my dinner
And hairpie for my dessert
Oh no! No toothpaste

--Mikey, drjin@aol.com

12889.
You must make meaning
Camus probably said this
While eating his SPAM

--Vanessa, ladynorth_98@yahoo.com

12890.
Any child of SPAM
Would clearly be considered
Illegitimate

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@gateway.net

12891.
SPAM, you confused meat
You sweet doggie ambrosia
Poopie on the grass

--Anonymous

12892.
SPAM as diet aid--
Carry SPAM lunch up mountain
Carry it back down.

--Reed Monroe

12893.
James Hormel is first
homosexual envoy.
Many gays ashamed.

--Reed Monroe

12894.
Mummification
guaranteed with SPAM diet.
Nitrates prevent rot.

--Reed Monroe

12895.
This work is not art
My poems are not poems
And SPAM is not meat

--Reed Monroe

12896.
SPAM is nothing but
unrecognizable scraps
of shit eating pigs.

--tbone4

12897.
Test market survey:
New crap-shaped SPAM not selling
Appetites suppressed

--Tbone4

12898.
SPAM's true irony:
Lucifer's evil conduit
Wrapped in God's grace shroud

--Tbone4

12899.
Empty diapers found
at two county landfill sites
near SPAM factories

--Tbone4

12900.
Seventy homers!
Mac's pre-game energy boost:
SPAM and creatine

--Anonymous


Move forwards to Numbers 12901-13000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.