SPAM Haiku 2101-2200

Move backwards to Numbers 2001-2100.

2101.
Smokin' a phatty
Damn, I'm hella hungry now
Let's fire up the SPAM

--"Holden Caulfield"

2102.
What's wrong with you, Tom?
That f**kin' SPAM's a killer.
You mean you ate that?

--"Holden Caulfield"

2103.
"What's for dinner, Pop?"
"SPAM," my Dad sternly replies.
"What! You don't love me?"

--"Holden Caulfield"

2104.
"What's for breakfast, Mom?"
"Fresh SPAM," my mother replies.
"I'm running away."

--"Holden Caulfield"

2105.
Abominable
Sow girl meets Dracuspam. Has
Hots. Love at first fright!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2106.
1st gravedigger: "Wow!"
2nd gravedigger: "Oh no!"
Dracuspam grins back.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2107.
"Eat up your SPAM, dear."
"Makes me sick, Mom." "Eat it, brat."
Pulls grenade pin. BANG.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2108.
Dangerous Dan Spam,
Steel outside but soft within,
Seeks saucy side dish.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2109.
What does Hormel think
of the SPAM Haiku Archive?
"Good publicity."

--Grant Hicks, ghicks@us.oracle.com

2110.
Frozen luncheon meat,
On a stick for kids' delight,
A SPAM dessert treat.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2111.
Favored by builders,
A slabful of meat putty
For SPAMed over cracks.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2112.
Pilgrims search in vain
For SPAM in sacred vessels
Near cocktail okra.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2113.
Like a tiny brain
Squared-off and left to fester,
SPAM adorns my plate.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2114.
Wobbling in the pan
In fetid fog, it's SPAM chunks
That gagged the dachshund.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2115.
Leni Riefenstahl
documents Hormel rallies.
Triumph of the SPAM.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2116.
NEA uproar.
Novel orifice for SPAM
shown by Mapplethorpe.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2117.
Young, poor Picasso
stares at can from last SPAM meal.
Starts blue period.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2118.
George Hormel's Rorschach:
"Looks like two snouts, one colon.
Reminds me of SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2119.
A Portrait of the
Artist as a Young SPAM: as
cool as Ulysses.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2120.
New fundamental
particle found in pig snouts.
It's the SPARK (SPiced quARK).

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2121.
In a tin coffin
Porky sleeps, embalmed in gel,
Pink, strangely transformed.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2122.
I squashed a SPAM in
Nottingham. Squashed another.
'Twas his brother. Tough!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2123.
Why pig's naughty bits
Now rare pink delicacy?
Mystery of SPAM!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2124.
Wretched can of SPAM!
Who chose me to take the rap,
Piggy's pink revenge?

--Bernard S. Greenberg, bsg@basistech.com

2125.
Lord, if Thou willest,
Let this SPAM pass from my hands--
but Thy will be done.

--Bernard S. Greenberg, bsg@basistech.com

2126.
Wartime memories.
Fried SPAM, potato pancakes.
What delicacies!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@mail.comox.island.net

2127.
Haven't eaten SPAM
Since 1947
But taste lingers on.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@mail.comox.island.net

2128.
The SPAMs are watching.
They squat on our plates and wait
Annihilation.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2129.
Metamorphosis
Of swine. The Spamic Essence:
Mediocrity.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2130.
"Not funny!" snapped Pig-
Witch, turning the Prince to pork,
"Your jokes are pure SPAM."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2131.
Grandad stole my SPAM.
Seemed to fix his aches and pains.
Maybe greased the joints.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2132.
Take a SPAM for walks.
It will gambol at your feet.
Salty-sweet plaything!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2133.
Moonbeams glance against
The SPAM. Ghostly lights shimmer.
Iridescent glow.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2134.
gerry mulligan
gone much too soon; unlike SPAM,
he's blooped his last note

--screamin' phil erickson, pje@hyperion.haystack.edu

2135.
As I lay me down
To sleep with the SPAM, I think
Is it JUST lunch meat?

--Wally Holland, mr_mole@ix.netcom.com

2136.
Or perhaps is SPAM
more than just a myst'ry food?
Something quite cosmic?

--Wally Holland, mr_mole@ix.netcom.com

2137.
Perhaps we just take
The mighty SPAM for granted
This is our mistake

--Wally Holland, mr_mole@ix.netcom.com

2138.
Pink, gelatinous
Wrapped in a tin can so neat
Do you want to eat?

--Jeff Bambrough, jwb@csd.uwm.edu

2139.
Democrats eat it.
Republicans feign fullness.
Both are cannibals.

--Mark Yannone, elwood@IMAP1.ASU.EDU

2140.
Libertarians
have no use for it. They know
SPAM is socialist.

--Mark Yannone, elwood@IMAP1.ASU.EDU

2141.
Patio slime trails
Are not from snails but anxious
SPAMs seeking escape.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2142.
Prince Hormel kissed Sow
Princess and turned into a
SPAM frog. Now, that's cool!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2143.
In Paradise, pork
chops "off" but SPAM "de rigeur."
St. Hormel franchise!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2144.
Spamasaurus Rex,
Seen Minnesota, munches
Wayward Larson fan.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2145.
Danger! Rampant SPAM
Amok. Sheriff calls posse
Armed with knives and forks,

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2146.
What's so funny? Poor
Hot SPAM, perspiring on my
Plate. Want sauce, Pinky?

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2147.
Reds make Spamski gun.
Fires pre-packed SPAM-borscht capsules.
Just pure pork stock used.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2148.
"SPERM, you fool, not SPAM!"
Frankenstein rasped at Igor.
A monster is born!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2149.
When I showed my SPAM
To St. Hilda's they all laughed
Hysterically.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2150.
SPAM is not like ham.
It makes you sick on the floor.
Damn, it packs a kick.

--Anonymous

2151.
Can you eat that stuff?
The idea makes me gag!
Oy! Such awful treyf!!!

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2152.
SPAM comes in a can
Open the can, see the SPAM
I like SPAM a lot

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2153.
SPAM makes me spew chunks!
It is really, really gross!
They should not sell it!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2154.
SPAM is not from pork!
It comes from something bigger!
Try an elephant!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2155.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Say that five times fast

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2156.
Is SPAM really real?
Or is it from outer space?
It must be from space!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2157.
SPAM is disgusting!
I really hate it a lot!
I hate SPAM a bunch!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2158.
This picnic with you
and all the ants in your SPAM,
loaded with protein.

--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@interramp.com

2159.
SPAM doth reign always!
Magical mystery meat,
Banquet in a can.

--Dan Hendricks

2160.
SPAM in Seattle
Rain-soaked, white bread like death glue
Mountains wish to move

--Anonymous

2161.
SPAM bam thank you ma'am
Swear to God check's in the mail
Cholesterol gulp

--Anonymous

2162.
Aluminum pan
The sizzling pink-brown SPAM stripes
Looks just like a grill

--Michele Chapman, KJAlpha2@Eworld.Com

2163.
SPAM is from Hormel
I get stomach cramps often
I'm going to sue

--Anonymous

2164.
Five states of matter:
Solid, liquid, gas, plasma,
and (don't forget!) SPAM.

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2165.
Some Pork Art, Maybe?
Such Perfect Alien Meat!
Square, Pink, And Mottled.

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2166.
"I am a fake food!
I am not an animal!"
The Elephant SPAM.

--Hedgy

2167.
Richard the III said
"Spam, spam, my kingdom for spam!"
AOL users!!

--bags@voicenet.com

2168.
"SPAM jelly tastes sweet!!"
said the spider to the fly.
Eat it with a spoon!!

--bags@voicenet.com

2169.
"Mas SPAM, por favor!!"
said the drunk mariachi.
"Tengo que caca!!"

--bags@voicenet.com

2170.
Acronym for SPAM
It's Sinew, Puss, And Muscle
Goes down best heated

--bags@voicenet.com

2171.
In toxic waste born,
Pink son of fermenting ooze,
SPAM apocalypse.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2172.
Gays in the army.
SPAM ingredients. For both,
it's "Don't ask, don't tell."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2173.
New Whitewater SPAM:
two parts pig snouts and one part
shredded documents.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2174.
Hemingway caught fish
with a novel bait; wrote The
Old SPAM and the Sea.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2175.
"Chicago: Butcher
to the world, Seller of pig
snouts," wrote Carl SPAMburg.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2176.
"A tin of beauty
is a joy forever." Keats's
"Ode on a Greek SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2177.
Stein and Toklas fell
in love over a slice. Still,
"A SPAM is a SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2178.
Alice B. whips up
a special treat for Gertrude:
her hashish-SPAM loaf.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2179.
Homer Simpson eats:
"Mmmm, donuts...Mmmm, tofu...Mmmm,
toxic waste...SPAM?! D'oh!"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2180.
Coup topples vegans,
Reforms offer salvation:
SPAM for the masses.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2181.
Rust, grease, sawdust, dirt,
Gristle in a jellied mass;
SPAM thrown at weddings.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2182.
Post-Cold War horror:
In lieu of missile assault,
SPAM dropped from great height.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2183.
SPAM on the table,
'Midst gravy boats and stuffing;
Thanksgiving from Hell.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2184.
Creative lunchmeat,
Molded by demented chef:
SPAM weasel sculpture.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2185.
Seething pink nightmare,
Meat crawling up basement stairs,
SPAM on a rampage.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2186.
Creative writing.
Assignment: Write haiku. I'll
steal #2026.

--Jonathan David Black, damaginc@siu.edu

2187.
Coat the space shuttle
with tiles of hot, greasy SPAM:
One slick re-entry.

--Grant Hicks, ghicks@us.oracle.com

2188.
A dog's voice commands:
"Kill them! Clog their arteries!"
Call him "Son of SPAM."

--Grant Hicks, ghicks@us.oracle.com

2189.
Cold Antarctic air
blows north of a line that goes
through a can of SPAM.

--john.foster@camel.com

2190.
Don't follow closely.
Keep a safe distance behind
a spewing SPAM truck.

--john.foster@camel.com

2191.
Pig nymph meets Yeti.
Love match! Tibetan gourmets
Gorge with hairy SPAMs.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2192.
British Raj stuck pigs.
These days they stick fierce wild SPAMs.
Death throes horrendous!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2193.
hungry, desperate,
weary, can of SPAM, weary,
desperate, nauseous

--James Ewert, ewert@rose.rsoc.rockwell.com

2194.
Breakfast? Power lunch?
Serving the paparazzi?
SPAM cannot be beat.

--Brigham Bell

2195.
A bistro's best bets:
SPAM with mango chutney or
grilled SPAM risotto.

--Brigham Bell

2196.
"What's for dinner, mom?"
"Candied yams, SPAM, and fruitcake."
"Yummy! You're the best."

--Brigham Bell

2197.
SPAM on Wonder Bread,
with Velveeta and catsup.
Hold the rodent hairs.

--Brigham Bell

2198.
For Jumping Jack Flash
eating SPAM enchiladas
is a gas gas gas.

--Brigham Bell

2199.
Hormel execs sweat.
Stock depressed. Stevens pitches,
"SPAM. It's what's for lunch."

--Brigham Bell

2200.
The SPAM Quality
Control Chief boldly exclaimed,
"No hairs since aught-six."

--Brigham Bell