SPAM Haiku 2201-2300

Move backwards to Numbers 2101-2200.


2201.
When is a SPAM not
A SPAM? When it is a "GLURG."
What? GLURG only knows!
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2202.
SPAM maquette of "Kiss"
Gobbled by starving artist.
Rodin..."c'est la vie!"

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2203.
Future nourishment
after all plant life is gone,
"Pass the Soylent Pink."

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

2204.
O Terrible SPAM!
You're not a carcinogen.
You're cancer itself.

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

2205.
Nurtured by pink meat:
Frozen she's just not the same
(As limp, tepid SPAM)

--Anonymous

2206.
Schwarzschild shrinks his SPAM.
Implosion rocks lab canteen.
Pink holes suck cream pops.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2207.
Glurgle, glurgle mass-
Ive SPAM: how we wonder what
You am. Pink matter?

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2208.
The definition
Of Life: "One nice SPAM after
Another." (Hormel)

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2209.
Regurgitation
Of SPAM barred. Gert and Alice
Seek rose bush refuge.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2210.
Angelic fecal
Product. Heavenly crap. SPAM:
Eat with reverence.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2211.
Fifth "SPAM is Soylent
Green" joke spotted. We need a
moratorium.

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2212.
And do we really
need more jokes with the punchline
"Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM"?

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2213.
Take SPAM out of can--
Rub SPAM upon shag carpet--
Electricity!

--EWFinn@aol.com

2214.
Basinger and SPAM
scene from 9 1/2 Weeks:
nixed, too explicit.

--Brigham Bell

2215.
"You'll need arch support."
"I can't afford orthotics."
"I recommend SPAM."

--Brigham Bell

2216.
Ancient Egyptians,
modeling Great Pyramids,
hauling huge SPAM bricks.

--Brigham Bell

2217.
Avenging Isis,
jackal-headed Anubis
turned Nile into SPAM.

--Brigham Bell

2218.
Company layoffs.
Wishing to eat SPAM sandwich.
Can't tell which is worse.

--Anonymous

2219.
When changing diapers,
I think of smell of SPAM, not
just poopy diapers.

--Anonymous

2220.
Cherry blossom tree
Freckles sunlight which thaws SPAM:
Hearty noon-time meal!

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2221.
Flesh spat out in mill
Conveyor belt spawns new SPAM
Forced in can to thrill

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2222.
There are two things in
Life that taste like SPAM, and one
Is SPAM. (Zen Koan)

--Bill Levine, blevine@bway.net

2223.
lick this juicy meat
the salty sweet residue
will clog your colon

--Anonymous

2224.
you will eat my pig
eat him! he is processed meat
where is my finger?

--Anonymous

2225.
lovely SPAM, eat it
suck the juices, obey it
hail the porcine God!

--Anonymous

2226.
slurp the sweet membrane,
pray at your porcelain shrine
groan "constipation"!

--Anonymous

2227.
grind the slimy stuff
through needle or swizzle straw
suck it through your veins

--Anonymous

2228.
Sodium nitrate?
Let's throw caution to the wind!
Great SPAMBURGER taste!

--Holly Jenson hj@rosenet.net

2229.
I like eating SPAM.
Then again, I also like
sitting on the john.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2230.
Open up the can.
"Wow! Looks like brain surgery
I saw on TV."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2231.
Blizzard bearing down.
Supermarket shelves are stripped.
SPAM is left behind.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2232.
I woke up today
Nestled with a can of SPAM.
Oh, no! Not again!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2233.
In the checkout line
people snicker at my SPAM.
What's that all about?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2234.
Meditate on SPAM
Fundamental SPAM question:
What the hell is it?

--dwisely@msn.com

2235.
Sink wires in SPAM can
Weird chemicals interact
Makes good battery

--dwisely@msn.com

2236.
birth--suffering--death
zen master finds nirvana
denies himself SPAM

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2237.
saw my friend today
at the SPAM rehab clinic
he has "pink madness"

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2238.
foolish restaurant
offers SPAM--all you can eat
shut down by health board

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2239.
blue label reveals
expiration date of SPAM
who could live that long?

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2240.
pitiful effort
to revive Warwick's career--
SPAM infomercial

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2241.
an encoded file
in the SPAM directory
who knows what's in it

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2242.
Poor people complain
"SPAM tax unfair." And they're right.
Rich unaffected.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2243.
I used to smoke dope
but I was never so high
that SPAM looked tasty

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2244.
net-surfer nightmare
must use SPAMscape web-browser
pink text, pink backgrounds

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2245.
warrior proclaims
"today's a good day to die"
eats SPAM for breakfast

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2246.
never studied SPAM
inorganic chemistry
just isn't my field

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2247.
much like drug-dealers
Hormel executives don't
use their own product

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2248.
predicting his death
Jimi Hendrix drowns in puke
while writing "Pink Haze"

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2249.
lost my job today
got caught writing SPAM haiku
on company time

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2250.
Ate a can of SPAM
right before I went to bed.
Donner party dreams.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2251.
Spamson is alive
Delilah cuts off his pork
Spamson is now dead

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2252.
What does SPAM stand for?
Spoiled Pizza And Meat, maybe?
The eighth mystery!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2253.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM.
Or maybe SPAM is not SPAM!
You figure it out!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2254.
Is SPAM really pork?
Maybe it's elephant trunk!
This is a tough one!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2255.
SPAM is SPecial hAM.
I don't know what's so special!
Sometimes I wonder.

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2256.
When is SPAM not SPAM?
I ask myself this a lot!
Tell me the answer.

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2257.
The SPAM wakes up and...
The SPAM creeps out of its tin
Spooky stuff, ain't it!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2258.
Old SPAM of The Sea
Told me "Get netted," so I
Drowned the pink bastard.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2259.
Awoke to find I'd
Grown a SPAM upon my head.
It wants its own hat!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2260.
Beautiful pink flesh
FD&C Red Dye 2
Shiny pink cancer

--Mark Hilchey, hj@rosenet.net

2261.
SPAM, SPAM on his brain
Eats that stuff three squares a day
His brain is pink mush

--Mark Hilchey, hj@rosenet.net

2262.
Poor Scarlett's hunger
Went unappeased when Rhett said,
"I don't give a spam!"

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2263.
What was that pink stuff?
Tell me again; I have a
Short attention spam.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2264.
Dessert of the day:
Italian spamoni
With pistachios.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2265.
Hormel hires German
Chefs. Are they planning to make
A Black Forest SPAM?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2266.
A thick slice of SPAM
Inside a six-inch bun is
A sub-spamtial meal.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2267.
The only way to
Spam the generation gap
Is with spicy pork.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2268.
Where is my juicer?
I need a cool glass of SPAM
To drown my sorrows.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2269.
Insane about SPAM!
What is it that causes this
Spamdemonium?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2270.
Hickory smoked SPAM.
Hickory's been comatose
Since that fateful day.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2271.
Help me! Help me, please!
I can't seem to stop writing
All these SPAM haiku.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2272.
When I was a kid
Mom would make SPAM casserole.
Now she denies it.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2273.
Budget airplane ride.
"Coffee, tea, or SPAM?" she asks.
Shoulda took the train.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2274.
I ate at Lutece.
SPAM was on the bill of fare.
They're going downhill.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2275.
If you hear a guy
say, "I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM,"
beat him up for me!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2276.
My remote control
always stops on ads for SPAM.
It's driving me nuts.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2277.
Shoot a can of SPAM:
It flies back and to the left.
Oswald was alone.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2278.
Drop a can of SPAM
from Seattle's Space Needle.
It's fun! Just try it!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2279.
We make fun of SPAM,
but in fact it's pretty good.
OK, not really.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2280.
It burst into SPAM!
Oh, the humanity and
all the passengers!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2281.
Please allow me to
introduce myself: I'm a
can of gel and paste.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2282.
Enigma of SPAM.
Wherever you are standing
The smell follows you.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2283.
First find a wild SPAM.
Hold it, ask for three wishes.
It might be Irish!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2284.
Spock did not eat SPAM
He is logical; SPAM is
Made in factories

--Jack Leach

2285.
I lobbed a SPAM soft-
ball at Darryl Strawberry
SPAM does not have fans

--Jack Leach

2286.
Teacher talks at board
My SPAM sandwich is warm, flies
Circle, I learn math

--Jack Leach

2287.
The jelly jiggles
My dog licks his empty bowl
I slice SPAM thinly

--Jack Leach

2288.
I like SPAM sushi
It tastes better than raw fish
Canned meat is the best

--Lindy Shibata

2289.
Please can I have SPAM
I love it more than my life
I want to be SPAM

--Lindy Shibata

2290.
I love SPAM in June
SPAM is slimy and goes splat
SPAM flies through the sky

--Cameron Maddox

2291.
Jack likes SPAM and eggs
He chucks it at ball players
Makes a SPAM hogy

--Cameron Maddox

2292.
The SPAMs of wrath live
In the souls of migrant kids
Twenty SPAMs is one

--heather & carol

2293.
SPAM needs to be held
Give me SPAM or I shall die
Walking wombs of SPAM

--heather & carol

2294.
Because when a man
Has SPAM, he seeks no power,
Therefore he has SPAM

--heather & carol

2295.
We burn a hot SPAM
Here, it melts down like rubber
Burn, SPAM, at the stake

--heather & carol

2296.
SPAM and Velveeta
Like Fred and Ginger floating
Plumbs drop like phantoms

--Jack Leach

2297.
SPAM Patee flatee
on my platee. Gobble up
Pork crumbs and fat chunks.

--Jack Leach

2298.
SPAM jelly in my
Belly I feel so swelly
Dance with Gene Kelly

--Jack Leach

2299.
Claudia Schiffer
Eats SPAM with expensive spoons
SPAM like rock lizards

--Jack Leach

2300.
SPAM-Dog, they call me
I don't answer 'cause I'm not
SPAM's better than pot

--Jen Sethasang


Move forwards to Numbers 2301-2400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.