SPAM Haiku 2401-2500

Move backwards to Numbers 2301-2400.

2401.
Ultimate horror:
A meal of SPAM, brains and eggs
(Insert your scream here)

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@msn.net

2402.
stripped, lying in a
puddle of SPAM and vomit
come on, get off it

--Gary Sweeten, gsweeten@willamette.edu and Nate Vonnahme, nvonnahm@willamette.edu

2403.
Papadopoulos
Electrojetted his SPAMs
For hot breakfast snacks.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2404.
Look your SPAM in the
Eye. If it blinks, then trash it:
If not, then trash it.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2405.
"I don't know about
SPAM," said Freud, "nor anything
Else, but, maybe, sex."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2406.
Betelgeuse is made
Of SPAM; and, maybe, Alde-
Baran too. I think?

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2407.
Himalayan sun
Sets. Only the chant of monks
Is heard. "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2408.
The quality of
SPAM is not strained. It droppeth
Like a gentle turd.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2409.
New brand: Chia SPAM.
Meat and greens in every bite.
Hormel, we'd buy it!

--Bruce D. Sidlinger, Bruce@Sidlinger.COM

2410.
My friend says to me,
"Seek the shrine of the SPAM god.
There you will find peace."

--Tony Sprinkle, sprinkle@iluvatar.ncssm.edu

2411.
I go to the shrine
And find nothing but a can
Imprinted with "SPAM."

--Tony Sprinkle, sprinkle@iluvatar.ncssm.edu

2412.
I go back and ask
My friend, "You said I could find
Peace in that there shrine."

--Tony Sprinkle, sprinkle@iluvatar.ncssm.edu

2413.
My friend laughed and said,
"Not that kind of 'peace,' my friend,
But a piece of SPAM."

--Tony Sprinkle, sprinkle@iluvatar.ncssm.edu

2414.
Darwin--specific
selection is Nature's way...
mankind or SPAMkind?

--Val the Knife Montalvo, vhmontal@artsci.wustl.edu

2415.
Noon on Yom Kippur,
Thoughts turn to food--thoughts of SPAM;
Temptation is gone.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2416.
Vegetarian
Jew, tempted by a can of
SPAM on Yom Kippur.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2417.
SPAM fried in sherry--
A sinner's Ramadan lunch.
God is not amused.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2418.
Middle-aged whore, SPAM,
Baby Duck--Omar Khayyam
having a nightmare.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2419.
Old wino has lunch--
SPAM and a glass of Lysol.
Brain cells die screaming.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2420.
SPAM is not real pork
SPAM is like Pillsbury dough
cooks up warm, squishy

--Robert Savidge, a.k.a. savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2421.
A Spamku a day
Keeps amnesia at bay.
Four more shuts the door.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2422.
SPAM transplants keep Az-
Tecs at bay but tend to in-
Duce Spamoplexy.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2423.
"Put down a SPAM bar-
rage," Captain Hormel said. "That'll
Keep their bums running."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2424.
"If they surrender,"
Said the Cap, "show no mercy,
Give them the Blue Tin."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2425.
"Crumph." Pink elephant
Farts. "Thud." Earth receives its gift,
A fetid mass; SPAM.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2426.
Oh, Spamku shall I
Call thee a verse or but a
Wandering noise; huh?

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2427.
Satan about to
Force-feed SPAM to Job. Yahweh
steps in. It's enough!

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2428.
Theologians
argue. If God is Good, then
why SPAM? Much shouting.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2429.
Saint John the Divine
eats SPAM, writes Revelation.
Stick with moldy bread!

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2430.
Hormel patron saint
kneeling with pink rosary
ecstatic icon

--Val the Knife Montalvo, vhmontal@artsci.wustl.edu

2431.
Over six hundred
Mitzvot. Eat SPAM, break just one.
Not such a big deal.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2432.
SPAM and cheese sandwich
Eaten for Yom Kippur lunch.
Three mitzvot broken.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2433.
For two extra sins,
buy the SPAM on Yom Kippur,
and drive to the store.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2434.
Shoplift the SPAM--it
is a sin on any day,
for Jew or gentile.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2435.
Murder the clerk, take
the SPAM, hide the body. Three
sins for a cohen.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2436.
World overcome with
sin heralds arrival of
Messiah. Eat SPAM!

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2437.
A cube of SPAM here
Eat it with some nuts and beer
Barf and quarf--it's back!

--Anonymous

2438.
Is putting SPAM on
The engendered feces list
Scatological?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2439.
Keep SPAM in the can.
Could there really be a more
Appropriate place?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2440.
Last night the SPAM-man
Came and stole my sleeping brain.
Boing! There is no pain.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2441.
At the Charnel Grot,
Mad Hormel stirs his pot. My
Brain floats to the top.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2442.
on shelf next to SPAM
is potted meat food product
made of guts and stuff

--Marc Frattasio, marc_frattasio@bedison.com

2443.
Twisted health food fad.
Gives rise to low fat SPAM can.
What the hell's the point?

--Marc Frattasio, marc_frattasio@bedison.com

2444.
Does anyone know
the meaning of SPAM? Athens
has many who do.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2445.
Socrates asks the
questions that none can answer.
None truly know SPAM.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2446.
Ignorance of the
Athenians exposed by
Socrates's questions.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2447.
Many are angry,
Accuse him of corrupting
The youth of Athens.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2448.
Found guilty, he then
is asked to suggest his own
punishment that fits.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2449.
Punishment must fit
The crime, says wise Socrates.
He has a good point.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2450.
My crime, he says, did
much good to Athens--fools now
knew that they were fools.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2451.
Thus, Athens owes me
free meals for life. This fits my
crimes against the state.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2452.
Athenians OK
The punishment, give him SPAM
for his sustenance.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2453.
SPAM for breakfast, lunch,
dinner. Dismayed, Socrates
drinks cup of poison.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@globalx.net

2454.
At the abbatoir
Scythes and grinders groan. Outside
Hormel's barrow waits.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2455.
Horrible Hormel
Haunts the sties with blooded axe
And bloodshot eyes. Help!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2456.
Martha Stewart serves
Puréed SPAM on cocktail rye
Post-divorce paté

--Harvard Health Publications Group

2457.
Acronym him, plebs.
SPicy hAM, Mr. Nobel!
SPAM, by Hormel, Inc.

--Wayne E. Baisley, baisley@fnal.gov

2458.
Re: Shimmy-bop clan--
Mealy O.B. R.N. chimps
pry balconies. Hmm.

--Wayne E. Baisley, baisley@fnal.gov

2459.
What is my problem?
Writing too much SPAM haiku!
Someone please stop me!

--Mike Miller, mbmiller@sirronald.wustl.edu

2460.
You can't be too rich,
Or too thin, they say. Let's add:
Or eat too much SPAM!

--Mike Miller, mbmiller@sirronald.wustl.edu

2461.
Gary Warner says:
"SPAM haiku is NOT! It's trash!"
He'd like a SPAM tea.

--Mike McGaff

2462.
Dear Mister Warner,
Autumn, Winter, Summer, Fall.
I like it. Sue me.

--Mike McGaff

2463.
SPAM is invading.
A tough day in the city.
Why am I a cook?

--Brad a.k.a. Zoppo

2464.
paris tour eiffel
if only spam could be there
crêpes would be her choice

--pam "spam" ronald, pcronald@ucdavis.edu

2465.
The New York Times said,
"All the SPAM that's fit to print."
There's no news today.

--john.foster@camel.com

2466.
"After all that SPAM
starving doesn't sound so bad,"
said Hobbes to Calvin.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2467.
Food, glorious food!
Hot SPAM with potatoes! "Please,
sir, could I have less?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2468.
Bum with hole in shoe
finds pistol and SPAM. Eats SPAM,
then blows own head off.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2469.
Bum writing haiku
rips off someone else. You got
a problem with that?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2470.
Auto maintenance!
Use SPAM for an air filter:
Wham, bam, dead Trans Am!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2471.
Harry Callahan
forces SPAM down killer's throat.
Serves the bastard right.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2472.
Anthony Kiedis:
"Under the bridge downtown is
where I ate some SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2473.
Ever notice how
the Jetsons never eat SPAM?
Hope for the future.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2474.
Dennis Rodman tries
new hair color called "SPAM Pink."
Bulls go 0 for 9.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2475.
SPAM Thing. You make my
heart sting. You make ev'rything...
gravy. Yeah, SPAM Thing.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2476.
Moby. Stupid whale.
Here, there, and everywhere is...
SPAM. Ubiquitous.

--Mason Griecko, PoohVA@mail.erols.com

2477.
Our anal culture:
Pink, squishy cube. Same each time.
A can with a key.

--Mason Griecko, PoohVA@mail.erols.com

2478.
For bettor or verse
SPAM marries both gambler and
poet forever.

--Chuck Baird, zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2479.
"That than which nothing
greater can be thought." Thank God
Anselm knew not SPAM.

--Chuck Baird, zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2480.
Eat up, down, and strange
pig parts of uncertainty.
Quantum leap of faith.

--Chuck Baird, zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2481.
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways. Thou art
SPAM!?! Deceitful one!

--Chuck Baird, zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2482.
On Valentine's Day
My love gave me a can of
SPAM. What's wrong with her?

--Aaron, be448@scn.org

2483.
Valentine's day, I
give my true love the one thing
that says love. Blue can.

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2484.
Valentine's day, I
duck to avoid the blue can.
Is this love doomed? Spammed?

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2485.
Breakfast. Grind up SPAM,
potatoes, add in pepper,
but not salt. SPAM hash.

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2486.
SPAM hash on a plate.
Toss an egg on top. Coffee.
Smells waft past my nose.

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2487.
Girlfriend asks what's that?
SPAM hash, I say. Do you want...?
I hear the door slam.

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2488.
An assassin came
And killed my SPAM and ate it.
Masochistic bum!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2489.
Deadly, still, bloated
Riding a pink horse this time
Death has a new name

--Drew Johnson, aajohn@mail.wm.edu

2490.
Cold jellylike mass
Jiggles with every footfall
SPAM fell down my pants

--Drew Johnson, aajohn@mail.wm.edu

2491.
Is it ham from space?
This ancient can in the fridge
Innocence is dead

--Drew Johnson, aajohn@mail.wm.edu

2492.
Sizzling in my brain
The smell of hot fried pork flesh
SPAM for dinner--yum!

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

2493.
MAPS of SPAM are like
Wandering aimlessly in
Palindromic haze.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

2494.
Monkeys like the taste.
Elephants think it's a waste.
SPAM is for the birds.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

2495.
SPAM, maps, amps, Sam P.
An anagrammatical
Mood came over me.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2496.
As I turn the key,
My hand is cut severely.
Is no price too great?

--Wes Kim, wkim@prairienet.org

2497.
Ingenious plumbers
seal pesky cracks in pipes with
SPAM and blowtorch.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@msn.com

2498.
What if Seuss had said:
I do not like Green Eggs and
SPAM? Who the hell does?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@msn.com

2499.
Pomp and Circumstance.
Up the ramp, into the can.
Pig graduation.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2500.
I'm snowed in again!
Nothing in the fridge but SPAM.
E-mail me some food!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com