SPAM Haiku 3601-3700

Move backwards to Numbers 3501-3600.

3601.
"Lions and tigers
and bears, oh my!" The list of
SPAM ingredients.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3602.
Tony Montana
sitting at his desk behind
a pink pile of SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3603.
"I want Joe Frazier!
I want Joe Frazier! I want...
Aw, just give me SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3604.
Bakker's new theory:
Dinos so smart they made SPAM;
Extinction explained.

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3605.
Dinosaur puzzle:
Bakker hates the meteor.
SPAM death? Nice try, Bob.

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3606.
Europe considers
a conversion to Hormel's
SPAMetric system.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3607.
Hormel scientists
create ultra-sensitive
femtoSPAMeter.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3608.
New film emulsion
based on SPAM creates field of
photoSPAMetry.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3609.
After regular
SPAM, SPAM Lite is totally
antiSPAMactic.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3610.
If SPAM could not be,
There would be far less warring.
Peaceful SPAMless world.

--JuJuBee

3611.
Where will I fulfill
The essence of manliness?
The SPAM factory.

--JuJuBee

3612.
A short ode to SPAM:
Give me your tired and your poor;
I will give them SPAM.

--JuJuBee

3613.
No more will I whine,
I won't eat my Brussels sprouts.
SPAM is nourishment.

--JuJuBee

3614.
Oh, Horatio!
Forthwith, whence goeth my SPAM?
Claudius ate it.

--JuJuBee

3615.
Wow! Did you know that?
Oh my gosh, I found out that
"SPAM" backwards is "Maps."

--JuJuBee

3616.
Carrie was doused with
pig's blood--and carnage ensued.
If it had been SPAM...

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3617.
Fake pork product kills
millions. Survivors go nuts.
Stephen King's The Spam.

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3618.
In Pink Floyd's The Wall,
Kids are put through meat grinder.
The making of SPAM?

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3619.
Semi drives down road.
"Technical Animal Fat."
Going to Hormel?

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3620.
Yep, Bob; Montana
Falls forwards on pink pile, snorts.
His nickname: SPAMface.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3621.
Boorda approved SPAM
For Navy rations. I would
Have shot myself, too.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3622.
Small and square piggy
From genetic engineers
Perfect for SPAM can

--Anonymous

3623.
Shaking SPAM from can
The sucking sound reminds of
Cardiac care ward

--Anonymous

3624.
Spam-a-doodle Spam-
a-diddle I wish my SPAM
just cost a nickel

--Cosmo Town

3625.
Rectangular prism!
Oh, I can't contain myself,
Pink Chichen Itza!

--c/o Sam_knox@staff.ichange.com

3626.
SPAM supply low. Fret?
Think first before getting more.
Taste treat, or taste threat?

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3627.
SPAM--"poor man's scrapple."
Color is better, but taste?
Fewer floor sweepings...

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3628.
Greasy spoon diner.
SPAMitation inspector
judges it three oinks.

--Jerry Missel, 72773.1577@compuserve.com

3629.
Sir Isaac on SPAM
said "What goes down must come up."
(Antigravity.)

--Jerry Missel, 72773.1577@compuserve.com

3630.
Booda writes Spamku
for a living, though he says
"SPAM made me do it!"

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3631.
SPAM carving is here!
Hormel has found the best way
to get rid of SPAM!

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3632.
moistness maximus
pinkness...parts is parts...creat-
or of nasty farts...

--DMUSSELM at DSC-OS5

3633.
Why do we deride
the glory and honor of
the other pink meat?

--gerald

3634.
Compressed under tin,
Suspense at its hearts contents;
Marvelous half-life.

--Sam Miller, samyd@whidbey.net

3635.
spam, i ate your kiss,
you tasted like perfection,
'til my eyes opened.

--Marrisa Mitchell, marmit@midwest.net

3636.
Whoever made this
Is a sad pathetic prick
To make Spamku yum

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3637.
SPAM flies the world high
Falls on me buttocks so I
Wash it with curry

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3638.
Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps
Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps
I am dyslexic

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3639.
doji oji po
Woo hah yah yah yah yah yah
I can't spell spam well

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3640.
We surf the net well
To find great thingamajigs
This ain't one of them

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3641.
Yes, pphhrogg, I confess.
I'm an Armour agent. All
The Treet I can eat.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3642.
Inconceivable.
A huge page of haiku and
Only one on SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3643.
Where is that lost Greek
Classic: Homer's SPAMiad?
Well, the Greeks had taste.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3644.
Frozen SPAM milkshake
Homicidal tendencies
Loading my squirt gun

--Arch Angel

3645.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
Chases ten Jack Daniels shots
Regurgitation

--Arch Angel

3646.
Parents give me task:
Think SPAM and five, seven, five...
Warn: think SPAM, don't eat.

--Anonymous

3647.
Butterflies flutter
Causing a storm miles away.
SPAMku's just the same.

--Anonymous

3648.
SPAM haiku let loose.
Critical mass reached, they're off--
Like chain reaction.

--Anonymous

3649.
I used to eat SPAM.
It was pink and from a can.
Early memories.

--Anonymous

3650.
Dinner was so late.
But SPAM haiku could not wait.
Synapses snap SPAM!

--Anonymous

3651.
If you eat fast food
you should not criticize SPAM.
Salt and fat abound.

--Anonymous

3652.
I've been bitten, wow.
SPAM thoughts punctuate the night.
The zeitgeist got me.

--Anonymous

3653.
Nascent poets write.
First published at SPAM Website.
Hormel should be proud.

--Anonymous

3654.
SPAM haiku arrive.
The art form of the nineties?
Who would have thought this.

--Anonymous

3655.
SPAMku on the Web.
Hmmm, would Gutenberg approve?
We all publish now.

--Anonymous

3656.
SPAMku masters' gems,
Philosophical nuggets,
Amidst sea of trash.

--Anonymous

3657.
SPAMku judges' work...
Tough job, but someone must do.
Necessary task.

--Anonymous

3658.
Popularity.
SPAMku Awards a big hit--
In Hollywood style.

--Anonymous

3659.
SPAMku Awards night.
Animal rights group protests.
Panning Hormel's work.

--Anonymous

3660.
After SPAMku fest
New fashion statement appears
Blue SPAM can baubles

--Anonymous

3661.
A new use for SPAM--
Poetry from Hormel's ham.
Wonders never cease.

--Anonymous

3662.
I don't believe it--
Even after good night's sleep
Thoughts of SPAM return.

--Anonymous

3663.
A new Rorschach test?
SPAM haiku plumb the mind's depths.
Interpretation?

--Anonymous

3664.
Kristine says, "What's next.
Ode to Dinty Moore. I guess."
Ahhh. Has potential.

--Anonymous

3665.
If Shaquille O'Neal
slam-dunked SPAM through the basket
would the backboard break?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3666.
SPAM has quite a few
masturbatory uses.
Er...or so I've heard.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3667.
Andy Garcia
plays SPAMface's buddy, whom
SPAMface SPAMs to death.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3668.
Daffy says, "What a
revoltin' development!
Porky has been SPAMmed!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3669.
Fatty Arbuckle
is accused of using SPAM
for...uh...well...you know.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3670.
Indian looks down
on Hormel plant. A single
tear runs down his face.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3671.
Next on Homicide:
"Life on the Street": Pembleton
eats SPAM; has a stroke.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3672.
Ted Kaczynski "loved
nature," and yet he ate SPAM.
See the problem here?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3673.
Tut invented SPAM
but sank it and all who knew:
waste deep in de Nile.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3674.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
Puréed succulent swine chunks
HEY! I love ewe man

--Arch Angel

3675.
Indy 500.
The Michigan 500.
Winners get milk, SPAM.

--john.foster@camel.com

3676.
A thin metal strip
Slowly uncoiling around
The top of the can.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3677.
What is this liquid
Pooling along the SPAM's base?
Do pigs bleed ichor?

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3678.
Pins, toothpicks, pencils,
Stick bolt upright in the SPAM:
So multi-purpose.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3679.
"I SPAM what I SPAM;
but I'll throw out the spinach
for pig in a can."

--matt68

3680.
White jellyish meat
The plight of the hamburger
Its title is SPAM

--Catherine Ryan

3681.
Hormel sex scandal
President caught rubbing SPAM
On assistant's ass

--Seth

3682.
A deranged old man
Puts SPAM in his bird feeder,
Rubs his hands, cackles.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3683.
When frying up SPAM,
Please spray the SPAM pan with PAM.
Say that three times fast.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3684.
Through the kitchen door
I can see the young children
Playing "Hit the SPAM."

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3685.
In the cabinet,
It lurks, unseen, forgotten...
Then you move the soup.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3686.
Good morning, Mr.
Phelps. This man is John Cho. SPAM
Poet. Dangerous.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3687.
Your mission, Jim, should
You decide to accept it,
Is to eat this SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3688.
Phelps lights fuse. Eats SPAM.
Self-destructs in five seconds.
Lordy, what a mess.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3689.
How many SPAM tins
can dance on head of a pin?
Please don't waste my time.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3690.
Stubborn Thomas More
Approv'd not Hal's piggishness.
'Twas beheaded, Spamm'd.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3691.
On Agincourt field
England slew France's flower
Knights were SPAM in cans

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3692.
Sun Tzu's Art of War
Says: Strike foe where he is not.
Oh, and feed him SPAM.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3693.
Reincarnation
I return in a blue can
Reincarnation

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3694.
Wile E. Coyote
Must eat SPAM, not Road Runner.
Too gory for kids.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3695.
Hormel could boost sales
Print "Submit your own Spamku!"
On each can of SPAM

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

3696.
Much is made here of
the odd pink hue of raw SPAM.
But what of cooked SPAM?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3697.
The eerie pink glow
of SPAM from the can gives way
when fried in a pan.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3698.
Or rather, the pink
collapses upon itself--
Crusty Burgundy!

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3699.
SPAM in wilderness:
No natural enemy,
Animals are scared.

--Anonymous

3700.
His disturbed patient
Smears her lips with SPAM, exits
through office window.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com