SPAM Haiku 4501-4600

Move backwards to Numbers 4401-4500.


4501.
SPAM meets solid rock;
Who will be the winner here?
Only time will tell.
--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com

4502.
Oh SPAM you're so good!!
Substitute for a woman,
Makes you think, don't it.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com

4503.
The RepubliSPAMs
Gather in 2000 for
Convention in Minn.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4504.
Bob Dole followed by
7-foot-tall condom filled
with eight feet of SPAM.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4505.
I sit to eat SPAM.
I watch the Monty Python
The Vikings sing "SPAM!"

--Mystic Bagel

4506.
"SPAM" logo on hat...
Mocked by many, loved by some...
Secret laugh at all.

--Steven Sadoway, ssadoway@mit.edu

4507.
World champ pig caller
Makes appearance on Leno,
Soo-ey, snort, snort, SPAM.

--Dennis, martin@mp003.mv.unisys.com

4508.
Arecibo sees
Heaven while Cho examines
Hell: divine balance.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4509.
Life is found on Mars!
Quick...eat up all the old SPAM!
They use it for fuel!

--Applecheeks

4510.
Eat barbequed SPAM
outdoors during the summer.
Hormel will love you!

--Applecheeks

4511.
Sunday hangover...
Party died down around 4:00
Only one cure: SPAM

--john p. nordbo

4512.
Blue can, pink contents:
snouts & ears & tails & feet.
I'm glad I'm not pork.

--john p. nordbo

4513.
Weird, oily pinkness...
Its texture makes my skin crawl.
Can we call it "food"?

--john p. nordbo

4514.
SPAM's Midwest birthplace
is Austin, Minnesota.
It is my mecca.

--john p. nordbo

4515.
Pity the vulture.
He sees a dead can of SPAM.
Carrion or not?

--john.foster@camel.com

4516.
Newton, Bach, Einstein
Calculus, Music, Physics
And now Hormel, SPAM

--Bill Ward, johnf@informix.com

4517.
October morning,
Clatter of tin on plastic--
Throwing out the can.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4518.
Nightfall in summer--
Reluctant to arrive, like
Me to my dinner.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4519.
Cheer up, little ant!
Although you might get stepped on,
No one will can you.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4520.
On my brown lunch bag,
A spreading translucent spot--
SPAM again today.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4521.
Call the garlic cloves,
The peppers, all your spices--
They won't help the SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4522.
My new parakeet
Learned to say "Polly wants SPAM,"
But won't say it--wise.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4523.
hatchery product
just "homeless seagoing spam"
whither wild salmon

--Colleen Kirby, ckirby@naic.edu

4524.
once proud stream stalwarts
king, silver, red, humpbacked, dog
now hatched homeless spam

--Colleen Kirby, ckirby@naic.edu

4525.
entire streams fished out
coho, sockeye, pink, chum, 'nook
processed fish product

--Colleen Kirby, ckirby@naic.edu

4526.
Deep in the landfill,
An airtight pocket of trash
Keeps the SPAM intact.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4527.
As the clown dances,
The children laugh. When he eats
SPAM, though, they all cry.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4528.
A strange sound--faint rip
And a heavy splat. The SPAM
Fell off the ceiling.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4529.
Next on "The X-Files":
Mulder learns of a dark plot
To sell SPALIEN.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4530.
A pleasant dinner
Of SPAM is marred only by
Everyone's vomit.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4531.
Where's that metal key?
So pink and gelatinous,
The SPAM calls to me.

--Anonymous

4532.
SPAM repulses me
It's black market zebra meat
It makes me vomit

--Anonymous

4533.
Her eyes!! So blue, like
A SPAM can. Your stomach hurts.
Love? Indigestion?

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4534.
Spamku art form is
Truly neat. But you ain't lived
'Til you've tried the meat!!

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4535.
White bread, mayonnaise,
Cut SPAM, hot onion, cold beer.
Ah! Be still, my heart!!

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4536.
J'ai bien trop grossi
Je'n mangerai plus le SPAM
Je mange le SPAM Lite

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4537.
In a nice blue box
Contains my spreadable lunch
How I long to eat

--Bonnie Burton, bonnie@grrl.com

4538.
I don't eat the stuff:
Nasty, fatty, disgusting--
I prefer cat food.

--Joani

4539.
square rounded corners
a shape not found in nature
SPAM, how I love thee

--Tim Rowell, tim@mass-illusion.com

4540.
Gorilla saves child:
Kid's about to eat SPAM, and
ape yanks it away.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4541.
Remember grade school?
Grilled SPAM sandwiches for lunch?
Boy, those were the days!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4542.
1968
Democratic convention:
"SPAM you, you SPAMmer!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4543.
SPAM in the toilet.
Should I flush, or fish it out?
It's hard to decide.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4544.
Well, on second thought,
the decision's not so tough.
Get me the plunger.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4545.
Stick two nails in SPAM.
Hook them to a light socket.
It cooks really fast!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4546.
"Police officers!
Drop the SPAM and come out of
there with your hands up!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4547.
Waiting period
for those wanting to buy SPAM?
Not a bad idea.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4548.
Serial killers
sometimes feed their victims SPAM.
Talk about sadists!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4549.
SPAM ain't so bad! It's
got vitamins, and it's got...
Aw, the hell with it.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4550.
Mother fed us SPAM
Everyday, ate: our bodies
Were preserved mummies

--jean wang, jean@eohsi.rutgers.edu

4551.
SPAM the hero brave
Through the forest he goes fast
To our dinner plates

--Raanan Elefant

4552.
Nasty pink food slab
Supposedly once a pig
Now just disgusting

--Gregor Everitt, gregor@mhtc.net

4553.
The can of SPAM LITE
has eaten my pet schnauzer.
Cherry possums fall.

--Anonymous

4554.
A quiche laced with SPAM
fed to unsuspecting young
French students. Ha ha!

--Anonymous

4555.
The forest at dawn:
Dappled sun lights pine needles
And empty SPAM tins.

--Peter B., Raleigh, NC

4556.
I want my canned SPAM
With caviar and truffles.
Oxymoron, yes!

--Anonymous

4557.
Heisenberg liked SPAM.
Certain about nothing, though
Surprise was his lot!

--Anonymous

4558.
Perfection uncanned
Like a beautiful redhead
Fresh from her trailer

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4559.
A generous boy
Offers Jesus his sandwich
Five thousand taste SPAM

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4560.
Square as our shoulders
Red as our Bible Belt necks
Soft as our bellies

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4561.
SPAM by candle light
What could be more romantic?
Open the Night Train.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4562.
Poised in wire jaws,
The pink assassin awaits
The nibbling rodent.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4563.
TV commercial
Says, "This is your brain on SPAM.
Any questions?" No.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4564.
Clever Daedalus
Makes wings of SPAM and feathers.
At last, pigs can fly!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4565.
From the labyrinth,
Two men rise on pork pinions.
(Beware the hot sun!)

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4566.
Careless Icarus
Falls midst feathers and warm fat.
An ignoble death.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4567.
I recall his plight
Whenever I gaze upwards
And the clouds blaze pink.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4568.
Effete paté freaks,
The Spamish Inquisition
Will make you think pink!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4569.
SPAM nasty pink meat
See it in my dreams hear bells
Wake up feeling heat

--Anonymous

4570.
HOGMA TO LIVE BY:
"Let us now praise heinous SPAM."
(Rudyard Chittering.)

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4571.
Hormel's cookbook: One
SPAM thing after another.
Weep, you chefs of France!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4572.
It's SPAM tomorrow
And SPAM yesterday but (it's)
Never SPAM today.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4573.
A can of SPAM lurks
On your kitchen cupboard shelf;
Just waiting to pounce.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4574.
The purchase of SPAM
Is very much like buying
A pig in a poke.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4575.
The Surgeon-Gen'ral
Wants this warning on SPAM cans:
"Beware of the Hog!"

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4576.
Wonder: Is it meat?
Wonder: Is it even food?
God only knows...SPAM.

--Anonymous

4577.
Pink furry things live
In my fridge. Are they Gremlins
Or last month's Spamlets?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4578.
Creamy with mayo,
Their naked bodies slithered
On a bed of SPAM.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4579.
The accordion
Ought to be banned, except when
Played by Art van Spamme.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4580.
Come on and hear! It's
Alexander's Ragtime Spam
Playing low-down pinks.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4581.
Many porcine gods
Were worshipped by the Romans
In the Spamtheon.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4582.
Up there in the sky!
Faster than a speeding snail!
Look! It's Superspam!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4583.
SPAM and sauerkraut
Sausage is, without a doubt,
The absolute wurst!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4584.
See Monty Python
My TV echoes a chant
SPAM SPAM egg and SPAM

--Robert Grober

4585.
God spoke to his "peops"
Let us get shit underway
(And let there be SPAM)

--Anonymous

4586.
And then Moses said
The Eleventh Commandment--
"Thou shalt consume SPAM"

--Anonymous

4587.
fresh out of the can
i like to share it with friends
spam on vacation

--Anonymous

4588.
Let's get to it then
he said as his digits hit
the empty blue can.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4589.
My homepage to swine
was inspired by SPAM WHAT AM.
God, what have I done?

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4590.
Haiku, seventeen
was inspired by pink SPAM smell.
Four thousand and more.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4591.
I live for today
I love sex and drive too fast.
SPAM's on my menu.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4592.
Hope, Love, Charity,
Remembrance and Impatience,
Virtue, Sue, and SPAM.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4593.
He called me a fool
The empty can on the floor
Pink crud in my teeth

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4594.
Marigolds are blue
and roses stink to heaven.
Your SPAM loaf is GREAT!

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4595.
Crisco and K-Y,
axle grease, mud, and Jell-O:
Real men use SPAMLUBE.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4596.
I'm lying in bed
dreaming of tomorrow's meal:
Poached SPAM with pearl sauce.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4597.
Todd Rundgren once sang
"Onomatopoeia" whew,
Clink, clank, clunk no SPAM.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4598.
Hormel and Alpo
Announce collaboration:
"With SPAM by-products."

--Len Pal, LenPal@tiac.net

4599.
My mother hates SPAM.
I find it a lot like life.
Greasy, but still good.

--Jacob, Seagate@Wilmington.com

4600.
I've gone months without
reading and writing Spamku.
Proved that I could quit

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com


Move forwards to Numbers 4601-4700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.