6001.
Metallic green slime
Rusty tin and broken key
Flavor still retained
--Hwei OH, ohh@mail.nj.com.au
6002.
look-a-hea spam trick
u aint nevah tried spizam
dat joint be tast-tee
--the illin' mad crazee minds of drew "phlizao" fearson and lee "phat like dat" sigrist
6003.
Sweating vile jelly,
Gelatinous porcine cube,
Breath of rotting flesh.
--Tim Summers, TCS1@PSU.EDU
6004.
Pork pâté, I think
The Hormel label looms large
Hunger still prevails
--Mike Trimble, mtrim@net66.com
6005.
it is like the wind
an after-lunch explosion
spam is in the air
--tim reno, treno1@ic3.ithaca.edu
6006.
it is still moving
mom said it's already dead
i don't believe it
--Anonymous
6007.
spam loves my navel
rub it up and down my neck
i feel very slick
--Anonymous
6008.
Civilization
is falling--the President
in "SPAMk me" scandal
--Anonymous
6009.
Oops! Late in the night,
I lost count of syllables:
Short attention SPAM.
--Anonymous
6010.
Gathering acorns,
Squirrel spies a can of SPAM,
But can't pick it up.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6011.
Veggie Hormel snack:
Spiced wheat germ, compressed in blocks--
But who will buy SPERM?
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6012.
Scary music swells,
As slime drips from the ceiling--
Revenge of the SPAM!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6013.
If you are hungry
Open up a can of SPAM
Squish! It's on the plate
--Ryan Ricklic, rricklic@tusco.net
6014.
Immortalize Lan:
Mention her in a haiku,
With a side of SPAM.
--Hud Nordin, hud@netcom.com
6015.
A slimy mollusk
Lacking only a pink shell
Escargodawful
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6016.
Better than Swiss steak
Goes great with curdled goat milk
Heidi wouldn't lie
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6017.
Let's play shuffleboard!
We send the square cans gliding.
The loser must eat.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6018.
Mother's rough finger
Stirs water into the Tang
And glazes the SPAM.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6019.
A circus side show:
A geek struggles to choke down
Hormel's freakish meat.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6020.
Clinging to the SPAM,
Cherry blossoms take refuge.
All invisible.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6021.
I peel the label
After eating the contents.
Stamped "1-9-50."
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6022.
Gentle to my teeth
Reflecting my tongue's pinkness
Mouth's favorite guest
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6023.
Like Saint Bernadette
Her flesh preserved forever
Or Eva Peron
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6024.
Behind the aged cheese,
I find grapes growing wrinkled
And SPAM with a beard.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6025.
I boot my PC
From a floppy slice of SPAM.
Drive grunts; screen glows pink
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6026.
In bridal-white bread
The Dennis Rodman of meat
Displays its bad taste
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6027.
Easily yielding
To cowboy teeth. Soft and pink
As prairie oysters.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6028.
We're bobbing for SPAM!
The water tastes like a pig
Had an enema.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6029.
I take one last bow:
My 200th SPAM haiku.
Forgive me, Basho!
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
6030.
At six o'clock, Bill
Murray wakes, eats SPAM breakfast.
Uh oh. SPAMhog day.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
6031.
Same day repeats, when
He ate SPAM. True Hell. Even
Death's mercy denied.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
6032.
SPAM is on my plate.
Bright blue can a staple food.
I am far from home.
--Reber Clark
6033.
Laugh hysteric'ly,
Run to the bathroom screaming;
SPAM came out my nose.
--Julie Pennartz, juliep@mail.utexas.edu
6034.
i ate spam almost
daily in a wet foxhole
the spam saved my life
--jim sullivan, jims@lapelpins.com
6035.
Let the thick pork fat
Clog the worthless arteries
Of my bitter heart.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6036.
The SPAM truck drives by
The pigpen, vision of their
Pork bellies' future.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6037.
Spam Wars re-released!
Millions flock, eat it again
The Force not with them
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6038.
Spam Vader to Luke
"Join the pink side of the Force"
The Spam is with you
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6039.
JFK waving
Shots ring out and bullets fly
Cranial Spamfest
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6040.
Ruby spams Oswald
Oswald dies in pool of SPAM
A conSPAMacy!
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6041.
Who spammed Kennedy?
Fidel Spamstro? A mob Spam?
Eat SPAM and Wonder...
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6042.
SPAM and Budweiser
Hearty pink burps entertain
Pink nose froth spews forth
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6043.
Mathematicians
Prove without doubt SPAM and shit
Are isomorphic
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6044.
Seven SPAMs squared plus
Eight SPAMs plus two is zero
A quadratic SPAM!
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6045.
Starship red alert
"Bones, is the pink life form real?"
"It's SPAM, Jim," he quips
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6046.
NASA launches SPAM
Ozone contaminated
Help: Pinkhouse Effect
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6047.
Johnny "The Wad" Holmes
Boasted a fourteen-inch SPAM
No blue can could fit
--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu
6048.
Ferris Bueller eats
SPAM, and must take a day off
to lie in bed, sick.
--John Ferrari
6049.
A lone can of SPAM
On my empty kitchen shelves
The day is still young
--John Ferrari
6050.
A tallow candle
burns, and the greasy smoke is
the essence of SPAM.
--John Ferrari
6051.
Astronauts hunger
All they find is can of SPAM
They all die in space
--Tim Appleton
6052.
Fleshy, red product.
"How do I love thee?" I say.
"Let me count the ways."
--Chris Daniels, cdaniels@indiana.edu
6053.
Antoinette she speaks
"Let them eat greased pink pork juice"
Guillotine readied
--Drew Johnson, aajohn@mail.wm.edu
6054.
Alive, writhing flop
Mankind is temporary
SPAM eternity
--Drew Johnson, aajohn@mail.wm.edu
6055.
Green Eggs and Ham book
The world has missed a classic
By just two letters
--Mark W. Herber, 102540.2416@compuserve.com
6056.
Like Hormel employees
I can't count my syllables
Or my fingers
--Mark W. Herber, 102540.2416@compuserve.com
6057.
"Spock, I'm starving, op-
en emergency SPAM." "Not
logical, Captain."
--Mark W. Herber, 102540.2416@compuserve.com
6058.
Generous piglet,
The sacrifice you will make
Fills me with sorrow.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6059.
I made deep-fried SPAM.
Who would think a heart attack
Could strike so quickly?
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6060.
Rectangular plot
Of dirt among the grass blades
Where the can once was.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6061.
Glimpse of the blue arc
Traveled as the tin goes from
Garbage can to truck.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6062.
Idly moving the
SPAM back and forth on my plate.
The phone does not ring.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
6063.
SPAM: it is my friend
Put a hunk into your butt
And then poop it out
--Anonymous
6064.
O where is O. J.
now that my SPAM is dating
another lunch meat
--Sessue Okinawa, early Ito period
6065.
SPAM is amazing
I owe my life to SPAM can
Magnificent SPAM
--Anonymous
6066.
Little fried sandwich
They claim you're a meat product
We prefer white bread
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6067.
Potted meat food SPAM
Tastes like synthetic aspic
Polyester pants
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6068.
Spicy bovine hearts
Also cartilage and sand
Keeps me regular
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6069.
Spiced ham is our friend
Deviled ham our enemy
Smell the aroma
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6070.
Deep-fried or sautéed
Tonya Harding clubs for it
Skating on thin SPAM
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6071.
Trailer park wedding
A piñata, Schlitz, and SPAM
Vegas honeymoon
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6072.
It's gelatinous
And shaped not unlike a can
No veins in this batch
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6073.
Good bunches of corn
Got nothin' to do with SPAM
Got a bone to pick?
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6074.
Anna Nicole Smith
Nipples like SPAM pyramids
Made the old man grin
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6075.
"S" is for Spicy
"AM" is for American
"P" is for Pickled
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6076.
Big 'ol fat white boy
Chuggin' a chunk of the Pink
Stuck between his teeth
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6077.
Pretty little meat
Standing so proud like Lincoln
Salute, chew, reflect
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6078.
First meat on the moon
Astronauts made sandwiches
Extra mayo, please
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6079.
Trapped in her gullet
The Pink slipped her a bad "one"
Look I found a bone
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6080.
Bow down to the pink
Sacred fleshy obelisk
Let me hear your sins
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6081.
Methodist potluck
Hey, what's this? A fingernail?
SPAM in the Jell-O
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6082.
No one wants to say
If it's salmon or headcheese
It could be your mom
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6083.
Don't refrigerate
Label says "No live cultures"
Particle board loaf
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6084.
SPAM and Velveeta
Bub-bl-ing in boiling fat
Chew that funky thing
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6085.
SPAM is not pretty
Like the Mona Lisa smile
Grin that greasy grin
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6086.
What is that bruised mass
A lump of salty tumor
It is so not food
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6087.
Roasted SPAM luau
Mai'tais pineapple and poi
Shake those porky hips
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6088.
SPAM emits a gas
My sinuses feel revived
Low-cost remedy
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6089.
Mulder and Scully
Emergency in the woods
Alien SPAMship
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6090.
In Payless aisle nine
A non-taxable item
Next to the Elmer's
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6091.
A thick piece of SPAM
Paperclipped to my homework
Teacher licked her lips
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6092.
I need some lip-gloss
Here, rub your lips on my SPAM
Or your chin or cheeks?
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6093.
Oops, I just started
Got any feminine pads?
How about some SPAM
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6094.
It's authentic SPAM
When the fumes offend your friends
And the gravy burns
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6095.
Shaped like a puppy
It smells like a grandmother
Is it art or food?
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6096.
It is really meat
If you cut against the grain
It's really bloody
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6097.
Vienna Sausage
Potted SPAM and deviled eggs
God's unholy treats
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6098.
Cross-section of SPAM
Reflects my America
Farmers, love your pigs
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6099.
Put it in your car
Comfortable for long rides
The pig rides again
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net
6100.
Strong as mustard gas
It's a chemical weapon
Gulf War SPAM Syndrome?
--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net