SPAM Haiku 6501-6600

Move backwards to Numbers 6401-6500.

6501.
shotgun formation
culinary football flies
gastric superbowl

--thom (Tom Williams)

6502.
Who eats this bullshit?
Some gross shit in a blue can.
Are you fuckin' nuts?

--Herman Melville

6503.
That strange sound: "Tw-wup"
A bizarre and viscous slime
...Could only be SPAM!

--Sherri, JAGSSS@aol.com

6504.
My children cry out,
"No SPAM! Please, anything else!"
"Shut up and eat it."

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6505.
For the love of God!
Please, I beg of you, no more!
Please, sir, no more SPAM!

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6506.
It's not on TV
I've seen no SPAM commercials
How do we all know?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6507.
SPAM! The name sounds just
Like one of the sound effects
From old Batman shows.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6508.
Coworkers snicker
Big grease spot on my lunch sack
Matching stain on pants

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6509.
Alone, I stroke SPAM
And remember how you felt
You slimy bastard.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6510.
It clings to the can
As I struggle to shuck it
A porky oyster

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6511.
The can's sharp edges
Lacerated my finger
Blood and grease mingled.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6512.
You won't ever see
Bulk emailers eating SPAM
They're not cannibals

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6513.
Waxed my car with SPAM
The finish gleams, water beads
Hungry dogs chase it

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6514.
"Please, Mom!" my kids beg,
"Let us get a Happy Meal
Instead of this SPAM."

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6515.
My two dogs like SPAM
So it must not be too bad.
Wait--they eat shit too.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6516.
For my redneck friends
I served cubes of SPAM and cheese
Trailer park hors d'oeuvres

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6517.
Writing SPAM haiku,
The adage "Write what you know"
Scares me very much.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6518.
I write SPAM haiku.
Some of them are pretty good.
What a useless gift.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6519.
Just what is in SPAM?
If I find a fingernail
I'm suing Hormel.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6520.
I laughed really hard
At some of the SPAM haiku
Almost wet myself

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6521.
The SPAMaroni
I served for dinner last night
Was not a big hit.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6522.
If I ate too much
Would I get SPAMarrhea
Or maybe just hurl?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6523.
If there was no SPAM
Would we write haiku about
Some other gross food?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6524.
What other weird stuff
Would we write haiku about
If there was no SPAM?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6525.
Without SPAM, what else
Could all these SPAMku artists
Waste so much time on?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6526.
If SPAM was alive
I wonder if it would write
Haiku about us?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6527.
It really is meat
But I doubt it is the kind
That we should consume.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6528.
SPAM, versatile meat.
Not good for your colon, but
Makes a good lip gloss.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6529.
No piglets for you?
Just smear your porky member
With a SPAMicide.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6530.
When you need it bad,
Get that cholesterol rush.
SPAM's better than crack.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6531.
John Cho started it.
In 1997
Hundreds more spam on.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6532.
To make Mom happy
I tried to enjoy the SPAM
But I just couldn't.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6533.
My husband mocks me
He just does not understand
The allure of SPAM.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6534.
Pork resurrected
In Night of the Living SPAM.
Romero classic.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6535.
It is okay fried
But it is extremely gross
When you bake a SPAM.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6536.
SPAM cut thin and crisped.
Hot grease spatters my fingers.
Burnt swine or is it?

--Zeeko McFlinblathy, Vegemite@erols.com

6537.
The I.G.A. store
Food stamps buy SPAM and some beer
A big feast tonight!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ma.ultranet.com

6538.
Unbelievably
And more so, undoubtedly...
SPAM is upon us!

--Spam Gokou

6539.
The SPAM seemed dirty.
Scrubbed it in steaming water
'Til nothing remained.

--Anonymous

6540.
Mary Holt's SPAM muse
Never rests, always singing,
"Got SPAM on the brain!"

--Anonymous

6541.
Cath'lic nun Prejean
Religious advisor to
SPAM man walking.

--Anonymous

6542.
SPAM--what can you be?
Bacterial riot in
Porcine petri dish?

--Anonymous

6543.
Back SPAMmin' again!
Went cold turkey for a year.
Addicted for life!

--Anonymous

6544.
Liggett confesses,
"Nicotine is addictive."
It's your turn, Hormel!

--Anonymous

6545.
A woman weeping,
A man, drunk and despondent,
SPAM on sale, low price.

--Anonymous

6546.
Tinny chunk of meat
F-wopping outward, keflop
Freed gelatin drips

--Anonymous

6547.
You ain't nothin but
a SPAMdog cryin' all the
time. You ain't nothin...

--WRKSOFFART

6548.
Since my SPAM left me
I found a new place to dwell
End of lonely street...

--WRKSOFFART

6549.
Graceland holds the truth
Long kept hidden by Hormel
The SPAM killed the King

-- Son of FDH

6550.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Tell me, what's your addiction
"SPAMphomania"

--SON of MSB

6551.
Too much shaving cream
Love lies bleeding in my SPAM
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6552.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What is your best fantasy?
"Naked loaves of SPAM"

--Son of MSB

6553.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Need to clean up the carpet
SPAMphomaniac

--MSB

6554.
Porno on the net
SPAM laying warm in my hand
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6555.
Tools slathered in SPAM
Why do Mom's nylons have seams
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6556.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Dressed just like a cheerleader
Don't be your father

--MSB

6557.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Would God's asscrack smell like SPAM?
"My dog thinks it does!"

--son of MSB

6558.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What is it to spank cold SPAM?
"SPAMcrophilia"

--son of MSB

6559.
High or low in salt
Which one, Monkey Spanking Boy?
"Both are SPAMsession"

--son of MSB

6560.
Love SPAM and SPAM-LITE
Want both with equal passion
I'm Bi-SPAMual

--wife of MSB

6561.
cubism, dada,
abstract expressionism
one painting, all styles

--Anonymous

6562.
SPAM on Wonder Bread
A frightening thing to see
No-meat on Un-bread

--tsquared

6563.
SPAM and Velveeta,
A great view of the highway--
White trash paradise.

--tsquared

6564.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What's your favorite art form?
"SPAM-xotic Dancer"

--son of MSB

6565.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Having a SPAM birthday cake
This party is weird

--MSB

6566.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Right SPAM red, left SPAM yellow
Is that move legal?

--MSB

6567.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Where are you taking the SPAM?
THAT ISN'T THE TAIL!!

--MSB

6568.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Cotton candy wrapped 'round SPAM
The elephant lived

--MSB

6569.
Primal love for SPAM
That gorilla had some grip
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6570.
Monkey Spanking Boy
You shouldn't feed SPAM to seals
Kicked out of the zoo

--MSB

6571.
Pink and bloody flesh
SPAM tied to the whipping post
Sadistic intent

--WRKSOFFART

6572.
Will die without SPAM
Oh not I, I will survive
Swearing off the SPAM

--WRKSOFFART

6573.
SPAM-bottomed girls, you
Make the rockin' world go 'round
Even Freddie knew

--WRKSOFFART

6574.
A purple SPAM haze
But are you experienced
The SPAM cries Mary

--WRKSOFFART

6575.
Purple SPAM runnin'
Through my brian, what can I do
To release the pain

--WRKSOFFART

6576.
"Eat so you will grow!"
Myst'ry meal canned long ago...
Child cries..., Mommy no!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6577.
Never known it yet?
Mind cannot let you forget
Once you taste... I'll bet.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6578.
Wise remember first
greasy mouth roof, salty burst,
water craving thirst.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6579.
Joy is wrapped within
held in place by metal strapped
wall that is so thin.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6580.
Slip'ry loaf set free
when curled strap surrounds my key
bliss descends on me.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6581.
Lover lost in sin
when my tongue slow traces rim
fat on top of tin.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6582.
Knife slice, eyes can see
slabs of flesh lay morbidly
heart beats rapidly.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6583.
Logic takes her flight,
hunger rules like darkness night,
mindlessly I bite...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6584.
Morning will not miss
day's design and purpose, if,
lips chopped pig can kiss.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6585.
When it's fried with egg,
piece of pork it seems like but?...
Is it chop or leg?...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6586.
Hunks of meat combine
with ear, hoof, and tail entwine
ground in product fine.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6587.
Protein is the hype
chewed already seems to be--
"shoescrape" more its type.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6588.
Brick of pure ground swine,
stop veins!, clog heart!, slow mind! It
orders those who dine.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6589.
Eater of chopped hog,
arteries with fat will clog!
Throw it to your dog!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6590.
The hour now is gone.
Spamku thoughts on I have drawn...
wasted thoughts upon...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6591.
Thoughts on Spamku lent,
"loaf" defines my soul's intent.
Time was not well spent!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6592.
Spamku thoughts are five,
coming next in seven, then
five, once more again.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6593.
Tell me what is SPAM.
Squished Piles Alternative Meat.
Give it a try, NOT!

--Anonymous

6594.
Why can't my job be
Writing Spamku all day long?
I would be so poor!

--Anonymous

6595.
I wonder if SPAM
On an empty stomach will
Have gaseous effects

--Anonymous

6596.
I can't believe it
Spamku is more addicting
Than Mountain Dew is

--Anonymous

6597.
Did I just submit
Three Spamku? My job is so
Boring. I can't stop.

--Anonymous

6598.
Why does this make sense?
SPAM should include packs of gum.
Would it even work?

--Anonymous

6599.
When the big one drops,
all that will remain on earth
is SPAM and roaches.

--Anonymous

6600.
How many countless
Hours of work must have been spent
Writing SPAM haiku

--Anonymous