SPAM Haiku 7001-7100

Move backwards to Numbers 6901-7000.


7001.
Cube of grease and meat
Chorizo's gringo cousin
Salty suicide!
--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7002.
O Mystery Meat!
Do swine aspire to retire
into blue steel cans?

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7003.
How many soldiers
sat hungry in a foxhole,
having lost the key?

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7004.
Despite the contents,
no warning on the can from
C. Everett Koop.

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7005.
Weird Al Yankovic
sang of its porky wonders.
Tune by R.E.M.

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7006.
Processed pork product.
Your nomenclature belies
your claim to be food!

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7007.
She hands me the key
to my can of meaty joy.
She loves me truly!

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7008.
Backpacker's delight!
Regular, smoked, or low-salt,
fat keeps me walking.

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7009.
Hormel, O Hormel!
Daily I thank you for SPAM!
Parent of haiku.

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7010.
In you have I found
What Chinese chefs will not serve:
The sweet and sour SPAM!

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7011.
Smoke alarm screaming!
I stop what I am doing:
Shit! I burned the SPAM!

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7012.
Party in a can!
I anticipate your taste
with unbridled lust!

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7013.
No one really knows
of what you are truly made.
But who gives a shit?

--Scott Wolfe, Lowguy@jetlink.net

7014.
a long time at sea
was promised a special meal
keep it spam sailor!

--Anonymous

7015.
i have searched the aisle
i ask the manager, spam?
the navy has it

--Anonymous

7016.
Oh, happy pink meat
Cosmic hatred beckons God
Leftover souls--SPAM

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

7017.
spam sizzles loudly
i clip my toenails softly
must find peppermill!

--david thoreson, dethores@facstaff.wisc.edu

7018.
I wrote more spamku
If you are reading this one,
John Cho must be back!

--maryholt@flash.net

7019.
SHAM, while you were gone,
It was bad, man, really bad.
Spamku withdrawal.

--maryholt@flash.net

7020.
It must take much time.
SHAM, I really have to ask--
Are you paid for this?

--maryholt@flash.net

7021.
I got fan email
Because they liked my spamku
Only one hate mail

--maryholt@flash.net

7022.
Some guys asked for the
SPAMaroni recipe.
I do pity them.

--maryholt@flash.net

7023.
Spamku for SPAM's sake?
Once, but now I get fan mail!
Bring on the glory!

--maryholt@flash.net

7024.
I know it's not much,
A useless, stupid talent,
But it's mine, all mine.

--maryholt@flash.net

7025.
Even my grandma
Helped write a song about SPAM.
Damn heredity.

--maryholt@flash.net

7026.
"Indigestible"
Is the name of the SPAM song
My grandma helped write.

--maryholt@flash.net

7027.
*sigh* I remember
Gagging at that first SPAM meal.
I'm sentimental.

--maryholt@flash.net

7028.
What a conundrum--
I like the concept of SPAM
But gag at the taste.

--maryholt@flash.net

7029.
SPAM, what a weird food.
I won't put it in my mouth,
But I'm glad it's here.

--maryholt@flash.net

7030.
Guy at my workplace
Keeps can of SPAM on his desk
Hip new geek decor.

--maryholt@flash.net

7031.
My dog will eat SPAM,
Then crap in the dining room
And eat it again.

--maryholt@flash.net

7032.
Keep a can on hand
Then bring it out at mealtime.
Watch freeloaders leave.

--maryholt@flash.net

7033.
Somewhere, I bet there's
Someone who tried to smoke a
Big greasy SPAM joint.

--maryholt@flash.net

7034.
If given a choice
between SPAM and carrion,
Move over, vultures!

--Kurt Trenkle

7035.
Tonight I ate SPAM
And White Castle hamburgers.
I sleep on the couch.

--Kurt Trenkle

7036.
No! I would never
Eat that pus-filled pseudo-meat!
Clear gel on my chin.

--Kurt Trenkle

7037.
Could a "real" haiku
Have the word "SPAM" if it said,
"Cherry blossoms bloom?"

--Kurt Trenkle

7038.
I went to the store
to buy a present of Spam
for my friend John-boy

--L. Kuzma

7039.
Why not write a spoem
when you're in the mood for SPAM?
It makes a great gift

--L. Kuzma

7040.
Metamorphosis
Gregor Samsa's worst nightmare
"I have become SPAM"

--Joe Nicholas, nicholas@sound.net

7041.
Painful blockage. Gas.
SPAM and Treet in cakes of pink.
Weep at the table.

--Anonymous

7042.
Ska and SPAM start with
the same exact letter and
so do slut and skank

--NKP7, CCR89@aol.com

7043.
I ate two-tone SPAM
Half kangaroo and half newt
It skanks by itself

--NKP7, CCR89@aol.com

7044.
Reel Big Fish sold out
They signed to Hormel Records
"Everything Wobbles"

--NKP7, CCR89@aol.com

7045.
In the Arab souk
skewers of SPAM entice girls
with silk covered mouths.

--sasha, borah2008@aol.com

7046.
I like SPAM a lot
Family committed me
Hard typing with feet

--David Poppers, LimePi@aol.com

7047.
fuel for steam engine
out of sterno, spam will work
he is my ex-friend

--David Poppers, LimePi@aol.com

7048.
Gave SPAM to teacher
Thought it was a nice present
Got all Fs on card

--David Poppers, LimePi@aol.com

7049.
I love SPAM a lot
It loves me a whole lot too
The voices told me

--David Poppers, LimePi@aol.com

7050.
Made new TV show
"The SPAM Cook" SPAM cooking show
Man says: "Keep your job!!!!!"

--David Poppers, LimePi@aol.com

7051.
Should one eat SPAM or
Armour Potted Meat Product?
The choice is not clear.

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7052.
Vegetarians
scoff at SPAM, yet eat tofu...
so who's laughing now?

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7053.
Meat conglomerate
in a can is what SPAM is;
out of many, one.

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7054.
SPAM: an MRE
that could drive certain soldiers
to the other side.

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7055.
Mournful piglets shed
existential tears, fearing
future canned karma.

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7056.
O, Muse, sing to me
of pork entrails congealéd;
why Troy really fell.

--hypatia, hypatia@prodigy.net

7057.
Thou dost see the SPAM...
SPAM, O Porcine Seraphim!
SPAM is but holy.

--William Stern, gsi00429@gsaix2.cc.gasou.edu

7058.
I writhe, I wriggle
in anticipation of
gelatinous SPAM.

--Richard Coltharp, adn@zianet.com

7059.
Lonely Friday night
SPAM will never leave my side
I can buy your love

--Jeannie

7060.
SPAM on our first date
Then ride in a blue Pinto
You are what you eat

--Jeannie

7061.
Breakfast, SPAM and eggs
Lunch, SPAM and pickle sandwich
I am so thirsty

--Jeannie

7062.
Low sodium SPAM
Now I can eat twice as much
It's never too much

--Jeannie

7063.
Running through my veins
You are slowly killing me
But I just can't stop

--Jeannie

7064.
After hearty gray-
pink casserole on the farm
do pigs eat SPAM slop?

--Dan Joyce

7065.
As Mom scoops up some
broccoli Fido slips the
SPAM back on your plate.

--Dan Joyce

7066.
SPAM cover up, not
pork vastly intelligent
alien species

--Dan Joyce

7067.
A bulimic's per-
fect food tastes better coming
up than going down.

--Dan Joyce

7068.
Alone at the bar
SPAM gel in a whiskey glass
straight up on the rocks.

--Dan Joyce

7069.
Hormel plant explodes
Continental U.S.A.
Breaks out SPAMshovel

--Dan Joyce

7070.
SpamGod, Oh SpamGod,
We're not worthy of thy SPAM!
Bless us all, SPICED HAM!

--SpamGod the Mighty, spiffaroo@hotmail.com

7071.
SPAM is not kosher
And it's out to get the world
Death to SPAM right now!

--Matthew Anscher, ansch002@acpub.duke.edu

7072.
Built my house from SPAM
It never leaks when it rains
No need to paint it

--tad tad tad

7073.
I am Sam I Am
I don't eat green eggs and ham
SPAM comes from a can

--Anonymous

7074.
Tears on my pillow
Your sweet juice and bright blue can
Licked by someone else

--joani, joani@cse.lbl.gov

7075.
I like shitty SPAM
Makes me want to spank my ham
SPAM muy feo

--Anonymous

7076.
Shopping at midnight
A blue can whispered to me
From the lonely aisle

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7077.
"SPAM in the place where
you work"... Uhhh, not quite right--Stipe
Please change those lyrics.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7078.
"Here try this," said Eve
Handing Adam a pink slice.
Original sin.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7079.
Huge pink cubes, rising
and falling. E2M3,
the "SPAM" room in DOOM.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7080.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
It's even worse than fruitcake
THE mystery meat

--Dave Sagehorn, Sage@pcii.net

7081.
Zen monks stack SPAM cans
Exercise in mindlessness
Arterial world

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

7082.
Perfectly pert, pink
What gives Pam Anderson shape?
Must be spamicone

--paul handley, phand@ksc.net.th

7083.
SPAM's day on death row
Electrodes stuck to each end
The prison melts down

--paul handley, phand@ksc.net.th

7084.
The odor of SPAM
Fills the air, I take a whiff,
And eat my dinner.

--Anonymous

7085.
Strangely, after just
Partially eating A loaf,
i could eat no More.

--Jonathan Michaels, jmichaels@earthling.net

7086.
SPAMku writers need
To get a life. Uh oh, what
am I doing? Help!

--Jonathan Michaels, jmichaels@earthling.net

7087.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
I love to eat SPAM SPAM SPAM.
The taste is super.

--Confessions of a Spam addict

7088.
no more star trek spam
spam is not science fiction
real life deal with spam

--Tom Lilly

7089.
Gloppy, flabby SPAM
Frying on the hot stove top.
Meat can't make THAT sound.

--Robert Hastings

7090.
"SPAM dinner? I'll give
You a definite maybe."--
SPAMuel Goldwyn

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7091.
In Britain we have
SPAM--base material for
Wallace and Gromit.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7092.
Blue on outside, pink
On inside. SPAM can? No, a
Tory left-winger.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7093.
Everyone here drives
A SPAM-colored auto; it's
A pink car nation!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7094.
I've got a stretch pink
Cadillac, made from raw SPAM.
It's a pig to park...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7095.
Driving my SPAM-pink
Cadillac today, I got
a porking ticket...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7096.
If God had wanted
us to eat SPAM he would have
given us sick bags.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7097.
Yum! SPAM for dinner!
How do I know? The nice men
In white coats told me.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7098.
Some days it's not worth
Chewing through the leather straps--
SPAM not on menu...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7099.
"Huge pink slab on moon..."
2001 remake
(Hormel Productions)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7100.
The remake of Gone
With The Wind
--"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a SPAM!"

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com


Move forwards to Numbers 7101-7200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.